Recently, I read some articles taken from Psychology Today contributing writers who give PhD perspectives on the reason why men and women flirt. Some of these reasons ranged from innocent types of flirtations to more compulsive types of flirtations, which involved a person's need to constantly seek attention. Also discussed in these articles were points about when these flirtations were appropriate and when they were not, and whether people in relationships could cause damage to their partners if the flirtations with others continued. What are your thoughts on any of these points? Would you flirt with others if you knew it could potentially damage an existing relationship?

I'm pretty flirtatious. I won't knowingly flirt with those in a relationship nor will I flirt with someone whos not my partner when in one myself. I flirt because I find someone attractive to me in some sort of way be it physically or mentally stimulating. Thats pretty much it.

I agree! Flirting can boost ones self confidence. I know it does mine but flirting with someone when you're in a relationship and its not your partner is playing with fire!

I'd never flirt with anyone already in a relationship. No point. I do this thing with all friends of both genders, where I joke around with them and say things like "Hey baby. How are you today?", but they know I'm jesting because that's part and parcel of my cheeky side. I just like to make people laugh. So I always end up saying unexpected stuff.

I've had a partner like that and yes, it does damage to the partner.
Indeed there's a difference between so called "harmless" flirting and pathological flirting. The latter is what I had to live with.
You say it builds self-confidence, but simultaneously it destroys the self-confidence of the partner.
Not talking the occasional flirting, mind you. We're human, think we all do that at times. I'm talking pathological flirting.
I now know this is part of what NPDs do and need, as NPDs have very little self-esteem, if any at all. So they need constant acknowledgement that they're wonderful people. But that doesn't make it any less painful and soul-destroying for an NPDs partner.
Thank god I'm a strong woman and I took my time to get over all the chit I been through. But I have learned flirting isn't as harmless and innocent as most probably think.

Isn't there a distinction between being self-confident and flirting and not being self-confident and flirting. The latter needs it to feel good, the first doesn't necessarily need it. It's just a funny, harmless moment.

well I am not a pathological flirt. I do feel a bit better about myself after a good flirty chat. I'd never flirt with a taken man or appreciate anyone flirting with my man! As I said its playing with fire. Lots of respect.

According to the information I was reading, as previously stated, there are various types of "flirters". RELATIONAL FLIRTERS: These want to take the relationship they are already in to a higher level; EXPLORATIONAL FLIRTERS: These are interested in another person and flirt to see if the other person is interested in them. FUN FLIRTERS: These flirt just for fun or playful interaction and are not necessarily "interested" in the person with whom they flirt; INSTRUMENTAL FLIRTERS: These flirt with a specific goal in mind, for instance, in getting someone to buy them a drink in a bar/club; ESTEEM FLIRTERS: These flirt to increase their self esteem and to make them feel good about themselves (NPD): SEXUAL FLIRTERS: These flirt because they are attracted to someone with whom they would enjoy a sexual encounter.

It was also suggested by the PhD who contributed to this article that most of the time, more than one type of flirtation is used. This is often times used by people who are trying to either make their partners jealous or to draw away one partner away from the partner they are with in order to have them for themselves (NPD). This is seen most prominently in online dating situations, especially where posting on sites is seen. These will also use other methods of attraction which will probably involve sensually motivating pictures because of the need to be admired.

Sure glad i'm not here to be psycho analysed !
lol

Someone should write a Mingle2 manual on dissecting the psyche
Of the opposite sex...

Date or dissect...?


Happy Holidays !

Yeah that would be interesting...Happy Holidays to you too KiK!

I only flirt with guys I'm interested in and only after I think they might be interested in me. I couldn't be with a guy who was just flirty by nature, it'd be weird, seeing him flirting with other women, and it would make me very uncomfortable.

I think flirting is innocent if its discrete and occasional. I usually just keep my thoughts in my mind,, I'm not a very demonstrative person. However when a man is with a woman all attention should be on her it is so disrespectful to check out or flirt with others in her presence. I see men do this all the time, I think a woman should just get up and leave the guy there on the spot if he does it!

Me too. I might think something about someone, but I'd never just come out and say it. And yeah, doing it in front of your SO is just plain rude. I was dating a guy and he actually checked out another girl's
a s s right in front of me. And then wanted to know why I was offended.

or give him a smack in the back of the head!

I guess I'm relatively flirtatious, too...now. I'm very friendly. Here's the problem, my husband often mistook friendliness for flirtation, so I really couldn't have a decent conversation with another man unless he was someone my husband felt comfortable with. Funny thing is: he didn't get upset with me intentionally flirting with the security guard at work because he was an older man. In fact, they met, and my husband playfully told the guard that he could have me during the day, but at night, I was all his (my husband's).My husband used to flirt with his patients, older ladies, and I was glad he did it. It made those ladies feel good. I saw that as an act of chivalry.

I never really don't see the point when I'm in a relationship to be flirty with anyone but her. I also kinda get uncomfortable when I'm in a relationship and someone goes to flirt with me. Now then if someone wants to buy her a drink or flirts with her at a bar as long as he doesn't make her feel uncomfortable. I don't really care I always knew she was coming home with me and that was less money I had to put out for drinks lol.

Very practical and reasonable. That was my beef: he knew I was coming home with him. Why be upset just because I'm being friendly. I also spoke with women, but that was never an issue. Half the time, I was speaking with the men for business purposes. About the only places where I would hold conversations were at school functions and fundraisers, and I was almost always the fundraiser, so I had to mingle with those who might be able to provide funds for the kids, whether it was for the band, sports, or school district needs. So, I guess it want free drinks, but it was Les money I had to put out myself.

Personally i'm no good with Names"and its not the age thing"! Never have and Never will be!! This is known with everyone that knows me from the beginning" I also "open doors" for both male and female" If i get there first" female only for vehicles being polite!! This is a habit so bad that to my.last employment i had a Winchester beltbuckle and used that name for mine just aggravating others. They all were going to buy me a beltbuckle with (Will) on it for Christmas"true story" Politeness,Fun,Aggravation is my main purpose in life! Day 1 to day 0! Everyone is told that also!! It seems not to bother in the beginning but towards the end a major issue?? I'm not Changing for anyone and they can assume what they want!!!! remember "azz-u-me"?? Me no more!!! I'm with who i'm with!! after that its their own problem not Mine!!

You won't keep a guy with an attitude like that? If you smacked me on the head, i'd tell you to f**k off! Simple as!

I tend to be of Jacktrade's opinion that it shows extreme disrespect either to the woman or the man to have their partner flirt with others in their presence. I feel this can even be applied to online dating especially in forum discussions where everyone can see your comments about others. If you are considering yourself as interested in only one person, then all flirtation should be with the one who interests you. If you truly care about that person, you will not do it. JMHO

flirting is basically talking with teasing affection, to insinuate sexual attraction in a playful (especially conversational) way. letting someone know that I m interested are u?...........