I know I am in love with my wife. She cheated on me with a stranger she met online but that was because I ignored her too long and I was a workaholic. But I don't think I can be without her. I want to know how to win her back and I am looking for suggestions. She need romance but I don't know how to be romantic.

once a cheat, always a cheat... i would move on, thats the only advice i have for ya...

There's. No reason to cheat ever! If your not happy say so & move kn. You deserve better.....when you find some one just try & communicate & find someone with the same qualities as you! Not everybody needs that kind of attention. I had a guy that we had nothing in common with so we just ended it!

HMMmmmmmm....

b(@)(@)bs

{I like boobs}

First of all you gotta find out if she's open to getting back together. Good conversation is probably needed. And if she's open and willing to give it another go, stop ignoring her and being a workaholic. If need be get help with that, get your priorities right. If your priority remains work, don't get in a relationship so you won't hurt someone else. A relationship is a two-way street, so first be sure you are willing to make this commitment, permanently, not just temporary to get her back.
If this is really the reason for her cheating on you, it very likely will take time for her to trust that you are really willing to change. People don't change that easily and there's a reason why someone is a workaholic, like there's reasons for any addiction for that matter, hence me saying "get help with it if need be".
If not for this relationship, then for another one in the future.

I don't personally see where it is your fault for bringin home the bread anyway
BS kick her az to the curb !
Who needs a cheater ...

If you get back with her how will you possibly.trust her ever? Nah she's done irrepareable damage as far as i'm concerned move on

Soz, but there's a slight difference between bringing home the bread and being a workaholic. Apart from that, she might be working as well. There's always two sides to a story, not just his. If his negligence and being a workaholic are the reasons for the marriage being in trouble, then, if the marriage is to be saved, something should be done about those issues.

Who needs a negligent workaholic? If you can't be ar*ed to make a proper commitment, don't expect someone else's commitment to last. Like I said: it's a two-way street. You cannot keep the fire going on your own, simple as that.

I agree with the last part...No effort + No effort = Nothing
No effort + effort..is still not enough.

I like how this thread has become interesting. It is like a comparison to being a workaholic and being a cheater. In other words, it could be construed that being a workaholic is cheating. I am curious to why you work so much. Is it because she doesn't? Or is it because you have no choice since your bills together were so much? Or possibility that it was really addiction? Or even a way to not be around her so much?

Do you want to kill her or cry
Kill - leave
Cry - forgive and find out why
Fix it!!!

She felt she was being neglected so she went and slept with another guy? And you want her back?

Don't be an idiot. Exes are exes for a reason. Move on with your life and find somebody that appreciates you for who you are not for what you can do for them.

You want to know how to "win" her back?

She should be trying to WIN YOU BACK!

If you "win" her back, she will only cheat again.

but don't come crying to us,

Move on.

I agree, exes are exes for a reason.

If you have kids, win her back. If you don't, still get her back. yeah, she cheated for a reason, she's only human, but you also got married for an even stronger reason. If you want to be romantic, google it or watch chick flick movies about it like crazy, stupid, love. Better yet, talk to your marriage counselor. And if she walks away, ask her for the last time if she remembers your wedding day and how she felt that day with both of you at the altar. But be sure to open heartedly forgive her for what she did and forget about it. Cuz if you haven't, it will all just be brought back whenever you have a fight and history could repeat itself!

Kind of peculiar: when asked "What if your partner was to cheat on you. Would this mean the end of the relationship or not?"
Most people reply "Not necessarily, provided we can work it out and it doesn't happen again".
Yet, everyone except me and Taffyta, seem to be adamant OP should end the relationship, don't even take the reasons why this came to be into consideration.

Hmmmmmm. Okay. I have an ex constantly trying to win me back AND he was the one who cheated. Does it ever anger you that she cheated? If not, I'd be worried, because you might be missing an emotion. It's natural to feel upset, jealous, angry, when they cheat on you. Who needs a cheater though? Well, imo, another cheater. But of course we sometimes still have a deep love for the person, no matter what they did to us, so I guess it takes over at times. I think you need to teach her a lesson, before trying to let her back in. If you're worth more than what she treated you like, then make her damn well bleed for your affection. Love should never just be handed out cheaply to all and sundry. If anyone messes with MY heart, I make em beg for forgiveness. Even if he tries to use sex as a weapon.

You did it once, think, put forth the effort & see what happenes.
First, ask her to go get help for the marriage, TOGETHER.

Do you think she loved you if she decided to cheat on you?

And now that I read it back-


You ignored her, so now she's ignoring you. Well, which are you going to choose? Her or work?




Worry about that AFTER you've tried winning her back. You don't know if she'll bother taking you back yet. Are you A-Sexual, because you mention lacking in the romantic side of things? It would just add up, but seeing as you've not replied to other's, I wonder if my typing is just wasted upon you.

when a partner feels "beglected" that is the biggest reason for them to seek another's attention, be it the man or wife. Regardless of who the unfaithful party is, if the couple wants to stay together, if THAT decision is made, then BOTH parties have to look to their individual contributions for the rift. A relationship takes two. if things are on the rocks the responsibility is shared.

That does not excuse the cheating....but if the reason was neglect the partner who cheated needs to develop a healthier way of expressing that she/he feels neglected

and the other person needs to listen and be responsive.

if the cheating was a one time thing it may be solvable depending on what the actual issues are. I see a lot of people on here jumping up with easy ready made knee jerk-type solutions that pretty much means most have probably nevr been in a long term marriage. Many successful marriages have gone thru periods where an infidelity occurred or almost occurred. The marriage remains susccessful because a mutual decision is made, future boundaries are agreed upon, and underlying issues are resolved.

so if that is something you both want to do you may have some luck. but if she is not willing to give up the behaviors that led to the cheating I'd question if she still loves you enough. if she does not, you are of course, only going to have one headache after another with her. She has to vow to never cheat. You have to vow not to hold it over her head every time you argue or she get s home late from work....I think your part is going to be the bigger challenge. be honest with yourself as to whether you can do it.

People who have difficulty expressing what they feel in their soul cannot be romantic. Oh they can buy the flowers or a box of candy, but if they cannot write down their feelings for their partner, then it's something that cannot be taught. Romance is something you feel in your heart and your mind, not just in your head. If your spent your time working instead of taking care of the relationship you already knew was in trouble, it's doubtful you will get it back even if you tried. I have found that someone who is a workaholic cannot express their feelings to others--that's why they spend so much time at work--so they won't have to talk to the other person. It's a thought anyway.