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| Topic: Valentines blunder | |
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Edited by
mountainwatergirl
on
Fri 02/15/13 08:16 AM
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Hmmmm... well good thing its over now lol
I still think you that are descrbing the meaning of love...and being satisfied with nothing are not on the right track with the issue I've described. I have dated too many men to give all that info about who i am speaking of. That doesnt even matter lol gawd. The persons that have let me down. On "the day of love" are of no consequence at all. Not talking about one man here. Many of the men I've been with this time of year have done nothing for Valentines. At best.. a card. Nothing more. Some of you have good intentions in saying we dont need gifts or make a big deal for valentines... thats great you feel you can remind us all reading this thats whats ultimate for you to believe ... but you're not being honest with us. You cannot tell me you've never expected a gift before. This tradition is no different than others in this category. Everyone expects what they've always known. You dont go to a wedding and theres no gifts... you dont attend a birthday and theres no gifts... you dont wake up at christmas and theres no gifts... people may say its not about getting gifts... but people still buy them because its polite and they want to give. It is an expression of love whether you admit it or not. At the very least... there should be something special other than a futile attempt like copping out with a card and a broke excuse, and the rest of the day and night is as any other day. When i saw women at work receiving flowers from the florist from their wonderful men, i thought how expensive that was. Told myself i wouldn't need that but would be wonderful to have my man stop at the grocery store for a 20 bouquet of red roses to hand to me. Its the thought that went into it and i dont need a spectacle delivery of over priced roses. But none at all? Why not when you know she will smile and throw her arms around you? I think people like to preach a lot in these forums... things that sound perfect but are not reality at all. |
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Edited by
Hikerjohn
on
Fri 02/15/13 08:25 AM
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And this is why most men are happy they are single on valentines day. Its glorious to give a gift to someone who has no expectations and fully appreciates any gesture. Its absolutely horrible to attempt to get a gift knowing its intent is to satisfy an expectation and knowing that the gift is going to be judged if it meets the expectation or falls short.
Where is the love in that? |
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And this is why most men are happy they are single on valentines day. Its glorious to give a gift to someone who has no expectations and fully appreciates any gesture. Its absolutely horrible to attempt to get a gift knowing its intent is to satisfy an expectation and knowing that the gift is going to be judged if it meets the expectation or falls short. Where is the love in that? Yep; to me the best gift is the one from the heart and not the wallet. My love can't be bought at any price. |
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pennyg281 is the smartest person I have seen on this forum.
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Hummm could be cause some women expect way too much out of this day! And I would like to know why some think it is all one sided... Men deserve just as much attention as women do.... Honestly I feel that I would rather have a man/woman that shows their love every day not just one day out of the year. 
And yes I'm one that remembers these days and made sure my kids did as well... 
Of course people should show their love all year. But who does??? Most people need a day to remind them of the special people in their lives. What is "way too much" for expectations? Maybe the laxed out stance on V-day has something to do with why some men think it's ok to pass up the opportunity to do something extra special. What's wrong with that? Don't you buy tons of presents every year for Christmas? Don't you plan that out financially to make sure it happens? What's the difference? Both are religious holidays...one not recognized for a day off from work...but, it's still a religious holiday. lol So much for religion ...lol... even if you remove the religious aspect like everyone does Christmas, it would still be a nice day to celebrate love. I didn't say it was only a day for women to get stuff. It can be for men too if they'd just want it! lol I would have TONS planned if I had a man this year. I've been known to wrap myself up in a giant red bow, holding a jar of body chocolate in a fancy hotel room for my man before. Why not? I love celebrations....and for love?? What an awesome reason. Men love sex... don't they realize if they want some that is extra special ;-) they have to also do something extra special? See?? This is why I hate my gender. A lot of women out there training boys all wrong for their wives later in life. Just sayin Really? To get good sex, they have to buy you gifts and take you out on Valentine's day? Yikes. No wonder many men complain about Valentine's day. They have to buy affection. |
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Tradition, eh? I guess us women should cover ourselves up completely, not work, and not vote! We should also keep our mouths shut. Everyone knows only men are allowed to have opinions!!! Our statuses as "persons" should be revoked. Then we will be living the way we are supposed to!!!
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And this is why most men are happy they are single on valentines day. Its glorious to give a gift to someone who has no expectations and fully appreciates any gesture. Its absolutely horrible to attempt to get a gift knowing its intent is to satisfy an expectation and knowing that the gift is going to be judged if it meets the expectation or falls short. Where is the love in that? |
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And this is why most men are happy they are single on valentines day. Its glorious to give a gift to someone who has no expectations and fully appreciates any gesture. Its absolutely horrible to attempt to get a gift knowing its intent is to satisfy an expectation and knowing that the gift is going to be judged if it meets the expectation or falls short. Where is the love in that? I am supposing you guys are also happy to be single on Christmas as well too. 
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Edited by
navygirl
on
Fri 02/15/13 11:40 AM
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Tradition, eh? I guess us women should cover ourselves up completely, not work, and not vote! We should also keep our mouths shut. Everyone knows only men are allowed to have opinions!!! Our statuses as "persons" should be revoked. Then we will be living the way we are supposed to!!! Wow; you are really flying off the handle at women. I am a big believer of equality and I fought for my rights to work side by side with men and even serve in a combat role. I could give a crap if a man buys a gift, does chores for me, buys dinner for me, etc as it doesn't matter. I am a big girl and I can do for myself. Its the men that shove this tradition down my throat. It hurts their ego if they can't buy a woman things or do stuff for a woman. I think its silly but its the men that put themselves in these situations. So, if you are going to point the finger at women; you better also be pointing the finger at the men that are indulging these women; therefore encouraging this behavior. 
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Edited by
mountainwatergirl
on
Fri 02/15/13 05:20 PM
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And this is why most men are happy they are single on valentines day. Its glorious to give a gift to someone who has no expectations and fully appreciates any gesture. Its absolutely horrible to attempt to get a gift knowing its intent is to satisfy an expectation and knowing that the gift is going to be judged if it meets the expectation or falls short. Where is the love in that? Take what you just said, and apply it to Christmas. For me, there's no difference than another tradition. Your opinion doesnt account for the differences between you and people like you... and me... and people like me. You are right about any gesture if two like minded people are coupled. There are people out there that like to buy their loved ones gifts. This is how retail has done so well. When i go to visit my mother, i try to bring her something. She smiles and is so happy i thought of her. She has a new thing to brighten her day and however long it lasts after that. Some people are just like this. So what? My point is everyone has some type of expectations..or at least hoping for a pizza. Lol and something nice can make people happy...or if you will... whos got family heirlooms around? How did those get there? Grandmas broach.. Aunties necklace? Mothers ring... someone bought that. Hello? Someone wanted to do something special and made it happen. I cant believe I'm explaining this 
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Buy me a rose
Call me from work Open a door for me, what would it hurt? Show me you love me by the look in your eyes These are the little things I need most in my life |
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in regard to the OP, i would say it's a bit of narcissism, mixed with uncaring, lazy and taking someone for granted.
it's nice to get something on valentine's day, or any other day, for that matter. for me personally though, my favorite things have been the unexpected. the totally thoughtful and showed how much they know me things. often handmade, or hand picked things. those were a few of my favorite things. but truly, if you have someone special in your life, a thoughtful gift of valentine's day, would be nice guys. :) |
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in regard to the OP, i would say it's a bit of narcissism, mixed with uncaring, lazy and taking someone for granted. it's nice to get something on valentine's day, or any other day, for that matter. for me personally though, my favorite things have been the unexpected. the totally thoughtful and showed how much they know me things. often handmade, or hand picked things. those were a few of my favorite things. but truly, if you have someone special in your life, a thoughtful gift of valentine's day, would be nice guys. :) My kind of girl! 
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nothing wrong with something speacial - like a kiss a flower or a home made dinner by candlelight
I think men should remember and I think most do no reason ladies can't also remember and I think most do I think all of the whining assumptions and gender bashing is unecessary personally if my partner forgot valentine's day I would not like that but I would still not forget it |
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It has been a few years since I have been fortunate enough to spend a Valentines day with someone. Last I remember, a few friends of mine were all stumped on what to do. Problem was that two of the females (the one I was dating at the time was one) was one of the types who demanded at minimal a dozen roses, a big box of chocolate, expensive dinner, wine and dine, the whole nine yards, BUT it had to be original, she wanted me to come up with something creative. I looked at her silly like "are you serious, you want me to be cliche and original at the same time?"
With a little consideration and apologizing to my neighbors in advance. We decided to transform my apartment living room into a 5 star resteraunt. We all got together and put our combined cooking skills (it wasn't much, but we did spend a few weeks coming up with the full 5 course meal) After the dinner, since we are all musicians, we did a small concert for the ladies, each of us sitting out a song or two one at a time so we could dance with our respective girl. I honestly thought it was genius and original beyond any expectation... The big problem was after the night was over, she said I was cheap and took the easy way out, two of us guys lost a relationship the day after for trying something like that because it was "the cheap route" and we need to try harder. Since then, I refuse to try to do something special for valentines day for anyone who gives me a list of expectations of what I need to do. The sheer fact that I tried my hardest with my friends, rented tuxedos and all should have been more than enough IMHO. |
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It has been a few years since I have been fortunate enough to spend a Valentines day with someone. Last I remember, a few friends of mine were all stumped on what to do. Problem was that two of the females (the one I was dating at the time was one) was one of the types who demanded at minimal a dozen roses, a big box of chocolate, expensive dinner, wine and dine, the whole nine yards, BUT it had to be original, she wanted me to come up with something creative. I looked at her silly like "are you serious, you want me to be cliche and original at the same time?" With a little consideration and apologizing to my neighbors in advance. We decided to transform my apartment living room into a 5 star resteraunt. We all got together and put our combined cooking skills (it wasn't much, but we did spend a few weeks coming up with the full 5 course meal) After the dinner, since we are all musicians, we did a small concert for the ladies, each of us sitting out a song or two one at a time so we could dance with our respective girl. I honestly thought it was genius and original beyond any expectation... The big problem was after the night was over, she said I was cheap and took the easy way out, two of us guys lost a relationship the day after for trying something like that because it was "the cheap route" and we need to try harder. Since then, I refuse to try to do something special for valentines day for anyone who gives me a list of expectations of what I need to do. The sheer fact that I tried my hardest with my friends, rented tuxedos and all should have been more than enough IMHO. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! She didn't deserve you. |
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AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! She didn't deserve you. Thank you kindly. I know the end of my post made me sound bitter and I honestly didn't mean for it to make me sound bitter at all! I just learned my lesson that if someone has pre determined expectations of something that should be coming from my heart as to how I feel, then I will never be able to meet those expectations. One day though, (hopefully) someone will be able to get the apartment resteraunt treatment again. It was really fun and two of my buddies call me every year since then asking when we are going to do that again. |
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to the op, if a girl likes gifts and things on valentines day, a guy that doesnt bother is probably not the guy for them
everybody has their thing, and thats why its so good for two people to truly get to know each other instead of just trying to impress each other,,,, I believe in tradition, but it loses its meaning if its rigid, so like christmas is a tradition of giving and being grateful,, the POINT is more about gratefulness than gifts, so if there are christmases where people give each other nothing but love,, that is enough, as long as it is genuine and from the heart if its just a disinterest in making the EFFORT to give some recognition on a special day, thats a different story |
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I believe that if the guy understands what is the 'proper gift' is for his love then you will love Valentine's Day. I don't want flowers, I'm allergic and my thighs do not appreciate the chocolates.
The proper gift for me would be some Thai takeout, because who really wants to wait for 2 hours to be seated for dinner, a good sci-fi movie at home with surround sound and a foot rub! All uninterrupted by family, friends or others. A gift like that shows me that my guy understands me and wants me happy. Of course that means that I have to put the same thought into his gift, but I have yet to meet a man who did not ask for sex in various costumes for this holiday ; D |
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I believe most people want a show of affection on v day however I would like to tell someone on say a tuesday that hey baby I thinking of you!! On vday for sure because of the significance but if you really care tell her on maybe a wensday that you care for her."just saying"
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