there is no justification for date rape of course

but if he is so upset about all of this the solution is simple and that is to associate with a different type of woman. duh

The answer is so simple.

EXACTLY! the woman of my dreams would be capable of kicking the azzes of seven or more men all at once. Part of the reason why is I would rather face a pissed off woman wanting to take me on in a fist fight over an anger generating issue rather than come home to face the business end of my own damn shotgun or wake up with holes in me that were not there before. At least a woman ready to call me out can be negotiated with.

Next, I do not condone date rape. There are several members here who I shall spell this out in PLAIN SMALL WORDS: MOST DATE RAPE IS PREVENTABLE!

I have tried to tell you how it can be prevented BUT NO! YOU PAINT ME AS A RAPE ADVOCATE!

First of all if any of you cannot look me in the eye, KEEP STEPPING! MOVE ON! When the shyte hits the fan do NOT LOOK TO ME FOR HELP. I will lend help to those I know need it, appreciate it, and treat me like a person.

Next is the victims of rape. There are two kinds of victims. The ones who move on from what happened to them, and the kind that LIVE AS A VICTIM THE REST OF THEIR LIFE!

Now some of you WANT to go there so badly. It took two years of therapy (done without the benefit of ANY meds at all) to grapple with constant anger issues I could not control. (THANK YOU SHASTA COMMUNITY COLLEGE! YOUR COUNCILORS WERE THE BEST!) It took TWO years to understand what PTSD was. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder takes time to infect someone's head. It is almost exactly like the same as what a Rape victim goes through but the difference is I had to endure years of mental rape by my father who likewise was extremely abusive. My mom never communicated with me very well and always seemed to keep me at arm's distance. We never really talked. When I grew up I grew up with my nose buried just as deep as hers was in her HER college text books when I was in 5th grade up until my family dissolved in a violent and completely chaotic manner where at first my father was my best friend until he got custody and then "MY BIRTH RUINED HIS LIFE." Granted this has NOTHING to do with YOUR pain! But where the police were there for you not one single person lifted a finger when my father was making death threats against me when I was 14. Doctors tried to deal with this abusiveness (becasue my father was a piece of crap when my parents were married. How my mom put up with 15 years of him amazes me to this day) with ever growing doses of Ritalin.

So you want to talk Victim speak here? Want me to cry my eyes out becasue you assumed too much and went into the danger zone and was not strong enough to fight off your aggressor? How about when you are 13 and have your father beating you with a rubber hose for something you DID NOT DO AT ALL OR HAD ANYTHING TO DO AT ALL? Hell, My father came home one day and decked my brother full force out of the blue because someone at his job pissed him off. How about having everyone around you telling you, "NO Your father loves you., he does not mean those things."

Now most of the guys I grew up with were hot as hell to get at that notch between your legs. hell, I am a heterosexual male who is admittedly LIKES SEX TOO! But their attitude was "LIE CHEAT STEAL TO GET AT THAT PUDDING!" PLEASE! That is not me. THOSE ARE THE DATE RAPISTS. Those are the behaviors I do not engage in. But this is the example I had to grow up with.

NOW, I have come across Bone Cutters, head cases, One Night Stands. But what I really want is a real honest to god mate. I want a woman with me who gets me and gets life! I want to be with someone who isn't afraid of me. I have been around my share but I always wanted more than life seems to want to grant me. Frankly a lot of women do not respect men at all although you say you do! Respect is so one sided in this world. Some people honestly do get it so I have hope for mankind one day if we don't wipe ourselves out before then. I really think I do need to find the Devil's Daughter because for the most part only a couple of women here get it but all I could be with them is friends. So far all I ever seem to attract is women with suppressed issues, basket cases, and worthless people. And what is more insulting is when a talentless and worthless woman actually has the brass to look down on me.

Boy wolf needs girl wolf becasue all I see are a lot of sheep with a couple of exceptions. If you have to be scared of me stay away from me. I despise people who are afraid of me just becasue I don't agree with them.

I have been trying all along to advocate two things, don't bait men, don't put yourself in harm's way. I know that no one has perfect control of a situation but you can make a man sleep on the couch if you're just dating but then again the safer play is send him home. But like I also said women pull changes in marriages and they act like they own their partner so they end sex, well, so should he.

NOT! HELLO! REAL WORLD HERE! Men do not come with a SEX OFF switch! Some women pop a kid and suddenly it is sex is a no go...

I am not going to marry a woman I have to look foreword to that happening to me. I can expect times where it will be, "NOT HAPPENING" but to be cut completely off... I am not setting myself up for that suckfest!


OH NO! ONLY YOU CAN BE VICTIMIZED! ONLY YOU KNOW WHAT PAIN AND SUFFERING IS!


GET

OVER

YOUR

SELVES

!!!!!!!!




Instead of discussing prevention and making this a positive thing look at what some of YOU have made this descend into...

I bet some of you would kill every messenger that brought you bad news.



So if in your mind preventing Date Rape SPECIFICALLY involves me... DON'T DATE ME THEN. Let a woman who actually wants respect and to be treated like an equal have me. I am not a beast to be ridden on. I think some of you need to get with the memo, this is 2012. In three days it will be 2013. Stop living in the 1960s.

I try to make the best of a bad situation and I am the pessimist here!

Andy, I'm sorry to hear that you had to grow up like that. However, you're lecturing others not to play the victim all the time, yet that's what you've been doing this whole thread. It's been all about how horribly women have treated you. And clearly you have a lot of anger from what happened early in your life that you continue to take out on others. I hope one day you are able to move on and stop being so angry all the time.

Ditto.

A woman who is a tease can be and should be dumped.

Which is exactly what I do. I have dumped on people for less. You see I got a BS threshold that only bears so much load before I have to put my foot down. People want to think they have been more victimized than others. Like I said, my words have been twisted up so hard I feel I am speaking Pretzel now.

And it is true. I do have anger issues and some things set me off like a bomb even though I still work to deal with how screwed up life really is. I think what I hate the most in life or at least in people is the mentality that leads to the words, "welcome to my life," or "Now you know how I feel." And these words come from people who WALLOW in misery.

What pisses me off the most is that there is no way anyone is willing to use this topic constructively to build a foundation on a set of ideas and principles to help cut down on Rape in general. Oh no, if Mr. Anaconda says "If you come near the river I will eat you," there is some dumbass who will go into the water just to see. Sometimes the dumbass is lucky in that Mr. Anaconda got a dumbass to eat earlier but eventually a lucky dumbass runs their luck out.

Now for this...



And from your end at least from my perspective this has been all about, "YOU ARE A BASTARD AND A RAPIST TO THINK LIKE THAT!" I try to discuss behaviors that lead to what you all are accusing me of and here I am an angry and vindictive person. I don't dwell on misery. I dwell on eliminating it.

As I have said before, you think the Devil's Advocate doesn't have your best interests at heart being so cold. Well, I say that at least in the case of date rape some women do things that make them a mark for being raped. Whether it is conscious or not. I don't care.

Sorry I tried to point out things you women do that you shouldn't. Sorry I speak in generalities when I am generally getting the a fore mentioned treatment. Sorry I can't be the Social Butterfly you want. But again why am I apologizing for squat?

I can see a lot of anger coming from others and I resonate off of it to my detriment but you know it gets tiring telling people, "DON'T GO INTO THE SWAMP! THE TROLL WILL GET YOU!" only to have people tell me to fucq off and mind my own business.

So go ahead. Do everything you do assuming you do everything right. Believe you are such a good communicator with men. If you were we would not be arguing like this!

Again, Andy, I can only go by what you've written here. When you say things to justify date rape, like you think the woman deserves it for teasing/dressing like a slut, of course you're going to get negative reactions.

And there's no need to generalize about all women. Just because some woman has treated you badly/not given you what you wanted, it doesn't mean every woman is going to be the same.

Just because we're arguing does not mean I don't communicate well with men that I'm with. You are very, very different than any men I've been with, so there is nothing to compare there. Just because you don't agree with anything I've said does not mean I am lacking in communication skills.

Anyway, I hope you find the kind of woman you're looking for. And I hope you get a hold on those angry feelings one day.

No matter if she strips down naked and acts like she is going to put it in and then says no. No still means no and she doesn't deserve to be raped because of her actions.

A woman should be able to walk down the street naked with no fear of being raped ever. If a man can't get that concept he has some issues going on that he needs to address.

so when does it become rape?

in the millisecond after the syllable no is uttered?

three seconds after?

what if he is about to orgasm, and she says no?

if he hasnt pulled out in a second, second and a half,, is it rape?


sex is just not a second to second thing,,,,,

Two Mature consensual adults do not get all heated up ready for sex and then one Yells "NO"!!
Notice I said Mature!!!

I would say as soon as she says no.

You couldn't be more wrong....and for many women, it's not a laughing matter...

Neither is rape...

yeah but the adverse side of this argument has a strong argument too.. Many woman accuse men of rape falseley... I have seen it with my own eyes... Not hugely convenicing as most ppl would know she was full of it but it does happen...

That is Your Opinion. This whole thread is not really funny.
What is, that a woman puts herself in a position for sex then she doesnt want to have it. Do not put yourself in the Position until ready to have sex. duh...

This is not about a Rape.

Everything is relative....there are many reasons a woman or a man would say no after sex is initiated....Think!

So, you think that women are obligated to have sex if they've said they want to have sex? That they shouldn't be saying no if they change their mind?

If a guy does not listen to a women who says no, it's rape. Whether she said yes to begin with or not.

Show me a man OR A WOMAN who thinks there is anything that justifies rape and I will show you a potential rapist...

So, are you less likely to believe women who say they've been raped because you know of someone who lied about it?