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| Topic: Does no mean no? | |
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Still means no doesn't mean later down the road some people ask for things to quickly. You need to get to know people. That is why I say bad communication on both parts is part of the problem.  or a guy whose priority and main objective isnt SEX,,,thats really sexy(ironically),,,lol and it helps avoid situations where miscommunication leads to unwanted sex |
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Anytime a woman says no, she means it. Think of it this way, if the man wanted to stop a sexual act from happening he could do it easily. She deserves the same. I don't care how "slutty" she acted all night. I don't care if she's nude, in bed with a nude man on top of her about to enter her. If she says stop, it's the man's obligation, his duty to stop. its an obligation if there is successful communication, and the man hears and UNDERSTANDS that 'no' was communicated,,, So, if he's deaf he gets a pass? If she's so drunk or stoned she's passed out he can do what he wants with her? Hogwash. Unless she able to clearly communicate she DOES want sex, a gentleman stops. no, its wrong in my opinion to do anything with an incapacitated person,, that falls under mentally unstable to give consent and if hes deaf, wth would saying 'no' do for him?...lol' I suggest a woman at least be aware whether the man can HEAR Before she lays down with him, and if he cant, she should probably find some means of communicating besides her auditory voice,,, I can see where deafness could cloud the issue. A face slap (for example) could be considered foreplay by some. But, barring that, communicating a lack of desire on her part is simple enough. All those arguments about what did she think was going to happen if she went up to his place are malarkey. Maybe she did want to, but something changed her mind. She has the right to say no at any point. Even after the sex act has begun. If she wants it to stop, it must stop. Simple. |
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Anytime a woman says no, she means it. Think of it this way, if the man wanted to stop a sexual act from happening he could do it easily. She deserves the same. I don't care how "slutty" she acted all night. I don't care if she's nude, in bed with a nude man on top of her about to enter her. If she says stop, it's the man's obligation, his duty to stop. its an obligation if there is successful communication, and the man hears and UNDERSTANDS that 'no' was communicated,,, So, if he's deaf he gets a pass? If she's so drunk or stoned she's passed out he can do what he wants with her? Hogwash. Unless she able to clearly communicate she DOES want sex, a gentleman stops. no, its wrong in my opinion to do anything with an incapacitated person,, that falls under mentally unstable to give consent and if hes deaf, wth would saying 'no' do for him?...lol' I suggest a woman at least be aware whether the man can HEAR Before she lays down with him, and if he cant, she should probably find some means of communicating besides her auditory voice,,, I can see where deafness could cloud the issue. A face slap (for example) could be considered foreplay by some. But, barring that, communicating a lack of desire on her part is simple enough. All those arguments about what did she think was going to happen if she went up to his place are malarkey. Maybe she did want to, but something changed her mind. She has the right to say no at any point. Even after the sex act has begun. If she wants it to stop, it must stop. Simple. I agree she has the right to say stop I dont agree thats where her responsibility ends legally, me saying 'no' is gonna be a he said she said issue thats impossible to prove to anyone who wasnt there its not good to assume merely one syllable will stop the process once someone is sexually stimulated anymore than me saying dont cum is gonna be sure to stop a man ejaculating some body processes take time to build up and can be reasonably expected to take time to shut down,,,although some people more in tuned with their body may be able to just do these things in an instant when the mind isnt there, as is the case for many in an aroused state, the body goes on autopilot thats why its best not to arouse anyone to that point in the first place, instead of hoping that once they have gotten there one magic syllable will shut it down,,, when people commit crimes, the law is similarly difficult to use just changing ones mind at the last minute doesnt always excuse the legal responsibility held in participating up to the point of the crime,,,, similarly, when speaking responsibility, I think both parties are RESPONSIBLE for communicating with each other (communicating requires someone is RECEIVING the message, not just giving it) and sometimes, as the cliche tells us, actions DO speak louder than words,,,,, |
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Anytime a woman says no, she means it. Think of it this way, if the man wanted to stop a sexual act from happening he could do it easily. She deserves the same. I don't care how "slutty" she acted all night. I don't care if she's nude, in bed with a nude man on top of her about to enter her. If she says stop, it's the man's obligation, his duty to stop. its an obligation if there is successful communication, and the man hears and UNDERSTANDS that 'no' was communicated,,, So, if he's deaf he gets a pass? If she's so drunk or stoned she's passed out he can do what he wants with her? Hogwash. Unless she able to clearly communicate she DOES want sex, a gentleman stops. no, its wrong in my opinion to do anything with an incapacitated person,, that falls under mentally unstable to give consent and if hes deaf, wth would saying 'no' do for him?...lol' I suggest a woman at least be aware whether the man can HEAR Before she lays down with him, and if he cant, she should probably find some means of communicating besides her auditory voice,,, I can see where deafness could cloud the issue. A face slap (for example) could be considered foreplay by some. But, barring that, communicating a lack of desire on her part is simple enough. All those arguments about what did she think was going to happen if she went up to his place are malarkey. Maybe she did want to, but something changed her mind. She has the right to say no at any point. Even after the sex act has begun. If she wants it to stop, it must stop. Simple. I see that miraculously enough we finally agree on something. Clearly you have a better understanding than most. As far as someone with a communication handicap - doesn't matter - if there is any question at all - stop |
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I agree she has the right to say stop I dont agree thats where her responsibility ends legally, me saying 'no' is gonna be a he said she said issue thats impossible to prove to anyone who wasnt there its not good to assume merely one syllable will stop the process once someone is sexually stimulated anymore than me saying dont cum is gonna be sure to stop a man ejaculating some body processes take time to build up and can be reasonably expected to take time to shut down,,,although some people more in tuned with their body may be able to just do these things in an instant when the mind isnt there, as is the case for many in an aroused state, the body goes on autopilot thats why its best not to arouse anyone to that point in the first place, instead of hoping that once they have gotten there one magic syllable will shut it down,,, when people commit crimes, the law is similarly difficult to use just changing ones mind at the last minute doesnt always excuse the legal responsibility held in participating up to the point of the crime,,,, similarly, when speaking responsibility, I think both parties are RESPONSIBLE for communicating with each other (communicating requires someone is RECEIVING the message, not just giving it) and sometimes, as the cliche tells us, actions DO speak louder than words,,,,, Do you really think that a man can become so sexual excited that his brain shuts down? I can assure you that this isn't so. |
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I agree she has the right to say stop I dont agree thats where her responsibility ends legally, me saying 'no' is gonna be a he said she said issue thats impossible to prove to anyone who wasnt there its not good to assume merely one syllable will stop the process once someone is sexually stimulated anymore than me saying dont cum is gonna be sure to stop a man ejaculating some body processes take time to build up and can be reasonably expected to take time to shut down,,,although some people more in tuned with their body may be able to just do these things in an instant when the mind isnt there, as is the case for many in an aroused state, the body goes on autopilot thats why its best not to arouse anyone to that point in the first place, instead of hoping that once they have gotten there one magic syllable will shut it down,,, when people commit crimes, the law is similarly difficult to use just changing ones mind at the last minute doesnt always excuse the legal responsibility held in participating up to the point of the crime,,,, similarly, when speaking responsibility, I think both parties are RESPONSIBLE for communicating with each other (communicating requires someone is RECEIVING the message, not just giving it) and sometimes, as the cliche tells us, actions DO speak louder than words,,,,, Do you really think that a man can become so sexual excited that his brain shuts down? I can assure you that this isn't so. I can assure you, that you dont know every mans body during sex,, just the man that you see in the mirror everyday |
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http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/human-brain/brain-during-orgasm2.htm
Interestingly, they discovered that there aren't too many differences between men's and women's brains when it comes to sex. In both, the brain region behind the left eye, called the lateral orbitofrontal cortex, shuts down during orgasm. Janniko R. Georgiadis, one of the researchers, said, "It's the seat of reason and behavioral control. But when you have an orgasm, you lose control" [source: LA Times]. Dr. Gert Holstege stated that the brain during an orgasm looks much like the brain of a person taking heroin. He stated that "95 percent is the same" [source: Science News]. |
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things do 'shut down' in a sexually aroused brain,,,,,
better to be aware of that, even if one hasnt had the pleasure of experiencing it themself (I have, which is why I figured that men experience it too) than to rely on a syllable to magically shut it down,,,, |
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Big words with the whole thing that there is a huge difference between taking unnecessary risks and ignoring additional factors germane to making a situational judgement. We know Alcohol can and does impair judgement. Likewise in a party situation I can likewise include other drugs into the picture. Also within relationships there are dynamics that when they change so does attitude, behaviors, and communication. Now why is it women who are physically abusive attracted to men who likewise are physically abusive? Some relationships crave the abuse. Like it or not there are facts that many over look. people get involved with each other for all the wrong reasons. A one night stand becomes a fake facade of a relationship that for the moment seems right but later on it isn't? Or maybe that financial security looks good. Too many people paint in shades of black and white what is gray. A dirty fact of life women refuse to get is rape is a reproductive strategy good or bad! Strength still does play into this. Animal nature likewise still does play into this. Right, wrong, or Andy is just a bastard does not matter. Life itself could care less. Rape sucks but if you are so concerned with it train to defend yourself. Strengthen your bodies! Train your minds to be in control of insane situations. Why perpetually live in the victim place? These arguments become "all men are bastard" arguments anyways and then we see a stratification of two kinds of men here, those that will disagree and be civil about it (which at times I barely qualify as Civil but hey, 'bite me, bite you back,' eh) and those who just kiss azz and agree hoping for the sympathy ticket. Andy cannot see life in the terms of human good and evil. There is strategy, maneuvering, and life itself is full of need and one of those is to propagate against some really hostile odds. Life itself changes and operates by some pretty honked up rules that at times are very arbitrary! And there are ways of cheating in life. I didn't make up the rules. I didn't make up a rule book for life. But other people live in some pretend world fabricated to please their senses. You know it is people who make my ability to see good and evil so blurry. Bad side, rape is violence. Good side, it guarantees humanity goes on in the next generation. At least I didn't say, "if rape was bad god would prevent it." Want to discuss some real fake morality there? I think I can speak these words with rather strong conviction, 'control is just an illusion.' In the scope of the world let alone the universe we are only in control of ourselves barely! Are some of you not glad to not be trapped in Blue Meanie land? I sure am NOT! You keep making excuses for rape. There is no excuse. Period. |
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I see that miraculously enough we finally agree on something. Clearly you have a better understanding than most. As far as someone with a communication handicap - doesn't matter - if there is any question at all - stop Miraculously? I think you'll find that as time goes along you may discover we agree on more than we disagree on. A lot of the disagreements I have here I chalk up to my own inability to communicate through written words. It's not usually what I'm saying people disagree with, but the way I say it. I've seen others (usually women) say exactly the same things, in a different way, and get no argument at all. |
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Anytime a woman says no, she means it. Think of it this way, if the man wanted to stop a sexual act from happening he could do it easily. She deserves the same. I don't care how "slutty" she acted all night. I don't care if she's nude, in bed with a nude man on top of her about to enter her. If she says stop, it's the man's obligation, his duty to stop. its an obligation if there is successful communication, and the man hears and UNDERSTANDS that 'no' was communicated,,, So, if he's deaf he gets a pass? If she's so drunk or stoned she's passed out he can do what he wants with her? Hogwash. Unless she able to clearly communicate she DOES want sex, a gentleman stops. no, its wrong in my opinion to do anything with an incapacitated person,, that falls under mentally unstable to give consent and if hes deaf, wth would saying 'no' do for him?...lol' I suggest a woman at least be aware whether the man can HEAR Before she lays down with him, and if he cant, she should probably find some means of communicating besides her auditory voice,,, I can see where deafness could cloud the issue. A face slap (for example) could be considered foreplay by some. But, barring that, communicating a lack of desire on her part is simple enough. All those arguments about what did she think was going to happen if she went up to his place are malarkey. Maybe she did want to, but something changed her mind. She has the right to say no at any point. Even after the sex act has begun. If she wants it to stop, it must stop. Simple. I agree she has the right to say stop I dont agree thats where her responsibility ends legally, me saying 'no' is gonna be a he said she said issue thats impossible to prove to anyone who wasnt there its not good to assume merely one syllable will stop the process once someone is sexually stimulated anymore than me saying dont cum is gonna be sure to stop a man ejaculating some body processes take time to build up and can be reasonably expected to take time to shut down,,,although some people more in tuned with their body may be able to just do these things in an instant when the mind isnt there, as is the case for many in an aroused state, the body goes on autopilot thats why its best not to arouse anyone to that point in the first place, instead of hoping that once they have gotten there one magic syllable will shut it down,,, when people commit crimes, the law is similarly difficult to use just changing ones mind at the last minute doesnt always excuse the legal responsibility held in participating up to the point of the crime,,,, similarly, when speaking responsibility, I think both parties are RESPONSIBLE for communicating with each other (communicating requires someone is RECEIVING the message, not just giving it) and sometimes, as the cliche tells us, actions DO speak louder than words,,,,, Man, maybe you and Andy would be good together. You keep making excuses, too! |
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I can see where deafness could cloud the issue. A face slap (for example) could be considered foreplay by some. But, barring that, communicating a lack of desire on her part is simple enough. All those arguments about what did she think was going to happen if she went up to his place are malarkey. Maybe she did want to, but something changed her mind. She has the right to say no at any point. Even after the sex act has begun. If she wants it to stop, it must stop. Simple. 
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there is no excuse for 'rape' when it is clear that is what is happening
just like there is no excuse for having sex with a minor,, when its clear that it is a minor however, there is justification that comes with lack of information or knowledge or fraud,,,,,, rape is hard to prove its like saying, you didnt give your keys to someone after they wreck your car, and they say you did its pure 'he said/she said' as a victim, Im just warning women against relying on what you 'said', when noone else was around to actually hear it sex is an activity,, its best to show through ACTION, before and during,, if you truly are expecting to comunmicate your feelings,,,, |
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there is no excuse for 'rape' when it is clear that is what is happening
just like there is no excuse for having sex with a minor,, when its clear that it is a minor however, there is justification that comes with lack of information or knowledge or fraud,,,,,, rape is hard to prove its like saying, you didnt give your keys to someone after they wreck your car, and they say you did not to mention, proving that they HEARD and understood you when you said it,,, its pure 'he said/she said' as a victim, Im just warning women against relying on what you 'said', when noone else was around to actually hear it sex is an activity,, its best to show through ACTION, before and during,, if you truly are expecting to comunmicate your feelings,,,, |
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Anytime a woman says no, she means it. Think of it this way, if the man wanted to stop a sexual act from happening he could do it easily. She deserves the same. I don't care how "slutty" she acted all night. I don't care if she's nude, in bed with a nude man on top of her about to enter her. If she says stop, it's the man's obligation, his duty to stop. its an obligation if there is successful communication, and the man hears and UNDERSTANDS that 'no' was communicated,,, So, if he's deaf he gets a pass? If she's so drunk or stoned she's passed out he can do what he wants with her? Hogwash. Unless she able to clearly communicate she DOES want sex, a gentleman stops. no, its wrong in my opinion to do anything with an incapacitated person,, that falls under mentally unstable to give consent and if hes deaf, wth would saying 'no' do for him?...lol' I suggest a woman at least be aware whether the man can HEAR Before she lays down with him, and if he cant, she should probably find some means of communicating besides her auditory voice,,, I can see where deafness could cloud the issue. A face slap (for example) could be considered foreplay by some. But, barring that, communicating a lack of desire on her part is simple enough. All those arguments about what did she think was going to happen if she went up to his place are malarkey. Maybe she did want to, but something changed her mind. She has the right to say no at any point. Even after the sex act has begun. If she wants it to stop, it must stop. Simple. I agree she has the right to say stop I dont agree thats where her responsibility ends legally, me saying 'no' is gonna be a he said she said issue thats impossible to prove to anyone who wasnt there its not good to assume merely one syllable will stop the process once someone is sexually stimulated anymore than me saying dont cum is gonna be sure to stop a man ejaculating some body processes take time to build up and can be reasonably expected to take time to shut down,,,although some people more in tuned with their body may be able to just do these things in an instant when the mind isnt there, as is the case for many in an aroused state, the body goes on autopilot thats why its best not to arouse anyone to that point in the first place, instead of hoping that once they have gotten there one magic syllable will shut it down,,, when people commit crimes, the law is similarly difficult to use just changing ones mind at the last minute doesnt always excuse the legal responsibility held in participating up to the point of the crime,,,, similarly, when speaking responsibility, I think both parties are RESPONSIBLE for communicating with each other (communicating requires someone is RECEIVING the message, not just giving it) and sometimes, as the cliche tells us, actions DO speak louder than words,,,,, Man, maybe you and Andy would be good together. You keep making excuses, too! being 'good' together is about alot more than sex there is an emotional and intellectual connect that makes sex that much more fulfilling ,,,,too many bypass any emotional or intellectual connect Im warning against it so others dont go through preventable situations, or put men in positions to be labeled for life because of a lack of communication,,, sex is not a VERBAL interaction, it is a physical one,, focus on communicating PHYSICALLY, and dont rely on your 'words' to be getting through to an aroused partner,,, |
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things do 'shut down' in a sexually aroused brain,,,,, better to be aware of that, even if one hasnt had the pleasure of experiencing it themself (I have, which is why I figured that men experience it too) than to rely on a syllable to magically shut it down,,,, Maybe you're right. I've never experienced a sexual arousal high enough to completely shut down all my thinking (except possibly during orgasm). Maybe I'm not able to become that aroused or maybe I've always quenched my thirst to early. Maybe I'm just too focused on my partner and pleasuring her to allow myself that kind of indulgence. |
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things do 'shut down' in a sexually aroused brain,,,,, better to be aware of that, even if one hasnt had the pleasure of experiencing it themself (I have, which is why I figured that men experience it too) than to rely on a syllable to magically shut it down,,,, Maybe you're right. I've never experienced a sexual arousal high enough to completely shut down all my thinking (except possibly during orgasm). Maybe I'm not able to become that aroused or maybe I've always quenched my thirst to early. Maybe I'm just too focused on my partner and pleasuring her to allow myself that kind of indulgence. and your partners are never focusing on pleasuring you in return? have you ever heard of tantric sex,,,,,I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a heightened experience |
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being 'good' together is about alot more than sex there is an emotional and intellectual connect that makes sex that much more fulfilling ,,,,too many bypass any emotional or intellectual connect Im warning against it so others dont go through preventable situations, or put men in positions to be labeled for life because of a lack of communication,,, sex is not a VERBAL interaction, it is a physical one,, focus on communicating PHYSICALLY, and dont rely on your 'words' to be getting through to an aroused partner,,, What you seem to be doing is finding every little excuse you can think of for why no wouldn't mean no. It just surprises me, since you've said you're a rape survivor and you continue to make excuses for men. |
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being 'good' together is about alot more than sex there is an emotional and intellectual connect that makes sex that much more fulfilling ,,,,too many bypass any emotional or intellectual connect Im warning against it so others dont go through preventable situations, or put men in positions to be labeled for life because of a lack of communication,,, sex is not a VERBAL interaction, it is a physical one,, focus on communicating PHYSICALLY, and dont rely on your 'words' to be getting through to an aroused partner,,, What you seem to be doing is finding every little excuse you can think of for why no wouldn't mean no. It just surprises me, since you've said you're a rape survivor and you continue to make excuses for men. sorry if the truth is hard to read the question was does 'no mean no' and I believe that to be a cliche that harms more than it helps so I am providing the exceptions where it may not exactly mean NO, or at the least, it may not mean no to the person who is meant to receive it anymore than silence would mean no to that person they have to have 'no' communicated in a way they can receive it I cant stand in my home in Vegas and merely say 'dont eat popcorn' to my kid visiting in ohio,,,and expect him not to eat it its as pointless as saying nothing, if the intended recipient has been obstructed from RECEIVING the message,,, ,,,thats all |
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sorry if the truth is hard to read the question was does 'no mean no' and I believe that to be a cliche that harms more than it helps so I am providing the exceptions where it may not exactly mean NO, or at the least, it may not mean no to the person who is meant to receive it anymore than silence would mean no to that person they have to have 'no' communicated in a way they can receive it I cant stand in my home in Vegas and merely say 'dont eat popcorn' to my kid visiting in ohio,,,and expect him not to eat it its as pointless as saying nothing, if the intended recipient has been obstructed from RECEIVING the message,,, ,,,thats all I didn't say the truth was hard to read. I do find it sad that you're making so many excuses, though. And the popcorn example doesn't work if you're comparing it to sex, as when they're having sex, they're together. |
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