I dont think people generally are interested in extremes

women dont want a man who DOMINATES like a selfish bully
and men dont want a woman who SUBMITS like a bump on a log


I think most probably want their partner to contribute SOMETHING and to have a mind of their own


I wouldnt want someone who just wanted everything their way for their own pleasure under the guise of being 'dominant', I just dont want someone that is too weak for their family to lean on when there is difficulty or strife

I dont think men usually want a woman who is mindless and always waiting for assistance and permission under the guise of being 'submissive'. I think they just want someone that is not so strong that they can never let someone else be there for them and their family to lean on,,,

You're confusing being dominant with being domineering.

No one want to live with a tyrant. But, no woman wants a man that cowers under every time she snaps her fingers.

I do prefer a dominate personality when it comes to guys. I agree with Texas Scoundrall that their are boundshes that need to be set and kept. But i also feel that their is room for compromise inside those boundries. Aslo said boundries should be clearly drawn before the relationship is entered into.

"most women, most men" Correct me if I am wrong but in my experience, most women will tell me "I am not like most women" and then proceed to act like most women. And this " dominate-push/pull" communication style, how does it get women addicted. Most people come to me to get me to change the other people in their life and not themselves. Currently have a woman trying to get to work with her, cause she is depressed cuz b/f belittles her and got mad and literally choked her unconscious, BUT she "really likes him". Doesn't want to deal with how she gets into these situations, wants to know how to get b/f to stop. I told her if he stopped, she wouldn't "really like him" anymore, jacked up my rates and told her she can't afford me. What I "really would like" to say is go tell someone who gives a merde.

I really wish I could agree with you and there was a time when I did. But, after seeing the same pattern repeat in several relationships, I simply can't.

I now think that every time a man give in to a woman, she loses a little respect for him. He may give in because he wants her to be happy. He may give in because he wants to "compromise." Or he may give in simply so she'll stop nagging him about it. But, every time he gives in, he fails her test.

I now have a way to handle it. A simple, three word phrase that has been my Holy Grail. When she starts nagging and complaining about some stupid thing that I do or don't do I calmly say to her; "There's the door."

If she's so unhappy, if I don't give her everything she needs, she is welcome leave. Please, go. Pack your things. Leave. Be happy.

But, you know what? They NEVER leave.

So, yes, it's my way or the highway. No compromise, ever.

I don't like it. It's hard telling the woman you love no. It hurts to see her cry. But, I cannot allow myself to be manipulated by her emotional outbursts. Because, if I do, she'll grow to hate me for it.

I am a feminist and I don't tell women to not allow men to dominate them. Its their choice whether they want to be dominated or not. Me, no I don't want to be dominated nor do I want to dominate. We are adults and should be able to meet in the middle.

And when there is no middle ground, what then?

Here's an example, She wants a dog and he doesn't. Where is the compromise? One must submit to the other's will or end the relationship.

Give her one of these:

There is always a middle ground. My philosophy is if no one got hurt or no one got killed; it can be fixed or worked out. I suppose it depends why the person wants a dog as most people get a dog for companionship. I would be wondering if the person thought I was a bad companion and needed a dog to substitute. At that point; I would consider the relationship not working. Besides; we aren't talking just regular decisions; this decision is about caring for a living thing. There are lots of factors to consider before taking on ownership of a pet as its like adopting a child. So, if a guy wants a dog; does this now become my responsibility when I have no desire to care for a pet? Besides; pets and children should be decided before you even enter a relationship.

Somehow I don't think that'll satisfy her desire for a little poop machine that stinks up our home, stains the carpet and leave hair all over the place.

I agree. I don't want a dog in my home either but if he really wanted one; then the compromise is the dog stays off the furniture and the bed. We rip up all the carpeting and the dog is limited to what room it can be in. I would also add the its his sole responsibility to care for the pet as I would not help.

As you said; the relationship might just be over anyways and that isn't the end of the world. Life goes on.

There is not always middle ground. Maybe she wants to move to a bigger place and I don't. Maybe she changed her mind about not wanting children and I haven't. There are times when there simply is no way to meet in the middle and one person must give in to the other or end the relationship.

Hmm, I thought it was called compromise not giving in. Again; wanting children and moving to a bigger place are two different things. With kids of pets; you are talking about a living thing and honestly you would be better off to end the relationship. As for wanting the bigger place; I would want to hear the person's reason for moving. I may well want to stay in a smaller place but if the person presents a good valid reason to move; I would be open to considering it. I wouldn't call it giving in as it would be a trade off as next time maybe there is something that I want to do and the person would compromise with me.

JMO, if a relationship ends over whether to have a dog or not it was not much of a relationship to begin with... People can learn to comprise.... if not then maybe they are just thinking of a reason to end the relationship...

Well; for me I would have to end the relationship as I do have allergies to pet hair and I wouldn't want to see someone unhappy that they couldn't have a dog. I do agree though about there being a compromise.

She wants a Melmacian child? I thought you said that she wanted a dog?

That is a totally different situation.. When it is a health issue then I can see the reason behind it. But for those that really has no excuse and only want everything their way or no way is different..

If they despise dogs in the house then the one that wants one should comprise on a outside dog as long as there is no health issues for the other...

I agree. That is why I agreed with you on the compromise. I think everything can be worked out. I still think kids and pets should be established before the relationship even starts and if one changes their mind; then I say walk away. No point making each other unhappy.

I just do whatever is fun.