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| Topic: How Old Is too Old | |
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4 yrs in either direction. That way I can say didn't we go to different high schools together.
 Seriously tho four years.
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4 yrs in either direction. That way I can say didn't we go to different high schools together. Seriously tho four years. Why 4 years? |
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Hard to say really, some 30 yo's have the maturity of someone in grade school, in a relationship we are all just as old as our life experience demands us to be. Some people do not ever have the need to grow as a human they just stay in their niche. I don't think age/race should have anything to do with it. If the person you fall for never leaves you doing anything but smiling the only thing that should matter is when your going out to see them next. ^^This (but would extend the age range). If the person is compatible and makes me happy/keeps me smiling, his age will be irrelevant. I just hope that if such a person were to cross my path, I’d give him a chance and have the guts to see where things lead regardless of how old he is. I wish I could belive that age is not a factor. I have to go with my own experiences with younger men and found they always had an ulterior motive to use me for something. I can't believe that a young handsome man would be interested in an unattractive 52 year old woman like me when there are hot looking women with perfect bodies their own age out there. They usually see the chance for a place to live, or that I have money. They also think I will teach them about sex or that because I am so unattractive that no man will have sex with me so I will be greatful for him offering to sleep with me. Again; I speak from my own experiences and I have learned to follow my gut instincts when meeting a younger man. My instincts have been 100% spot on about everything that has happened in my life. I have learned to trust my instincts as they have saved me from a lot of grief. First off, I don't think that you're unattractive...I sneaked a look at your profile and I absolutely loved your pics...didn't realise you are such a sci-fi fan  For me, I'm just trying to lose some of my baggage and not lump everyone in the same basket. |
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Ive been with people much older so my opinion comes from trial and error. And seriously I find that a difference in age directly effects the relevance of conversation. You go to much past four years and the world itself that each of you grew up in changes. The things that make a person who they are become more and more drastically different. In my "opinion".
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Ive been with people much older so my opinion comes from trial and error. And seriously I find that a difference in age directly effects the relevance of conversation. You go to much past four years and the world itself that each of you grew up in changes. The things that make a person who they are become more and more drastically different. In my "opinion". I was just curious about the choice of 4 years. I also feel that age is definitely a factor, but haven't limited it to a certain number of years, though. |
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I suppose when one speaks of maturity they are referring to emotional maturity, on a side note it is well known that in general woman develop emotionally quicker then men by about 7yrs, I consider myself an emotionally mature person, but I am also a big kid in a lot of ways, I think most of us men have that kid inside of us, I still love my toys(gadgets) and I can still act a little silly at times, my ex really had no appreciation for my sense of humor.
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I totally agree with you 42Blackbbw,I think Navygirl is smokin hot.
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I can still act a little silly at times, my ex really had no appreciation for my sense of humor. |
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I just find it difficult to be with anyone who don't laugh, my ex was the serious type, not a good match for me, I never take myself serious all the time, I think we first must learn to laugh at ourselves, then we can laugh with others, after all human's are a pretty comical bunch.
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Hard to say really, some 30 yo's have the maturity of someone in grade school, in a relationship we are all just as old as our life experience demands us to be. Some people do not ever have the need to grow as a human they just stay in their niche. I don't think age/race should have anything to do with it. If the person you fall for never leaves you doing anything but smiling the only thing that should matter is when your going out to see them next. ^^This (but would extend the age range). If the person is compatible and makes me happy/keeps me smiling, his age will be irrelevant. I just hope that if such a person were to cross my path, I’d give him a chance and have the guts to see where things lead regardless of how old he is. I wish I could belive that age is not a factor. I have to go with my own experiences with younger men and found they always had an ulterior motive to use me for something. I can't believe that a young handsome man would be interested in an unattractive 52 year old woman like me when there are hot looking women with perfect bodies their own age out there. They usually see the chance for a place to live, or that I have money. They also think I will teach them about sex or that because I am so unattractive that no man will have sex with me so I will be greatful for him offering to sleep with me. Again; I speak from my own experiences and I have learned to follow my gut instincts when meeting a younger man. My instincts have been 100% spot on about everything that has happened in my life. I have learned to trust my instincts as they have saved me from a lot of grief. First off, I don't think that you're unattractive...I sneaked a look at your profile and I absolutely loved your pics...didn't realise you are such a sci-fi fan For me, I'm just trying to lose some of my baggage and not lump everyone in the same basket. You are kind but I am only going by my own experiences. Nothing hurts me more than being on a date with a guy while he is oogling every young girl that walks by. Makes me want to crawl in a hole. I like sci fi and love wearing costumes. I have my fun side and try not to take life too seriously. |
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I just find it difficult to be with anyone who don't laugh, my ex was the serious type, not a good match for me, I never take myself serious all the time, I think we first must learn to laugh at ourselves, then we can laugh with others, after all human's are a pretty comical bunch. Thanks for saying I am smoking hot. I am blushing.  I am much like you that I don't take myself too seriously either so even if a man my age does act a bit immature; its not the end of the world. What I mean by immature is not paying your bills, not keeping a job, drinking too much; not taking care of your health, etc. I was out on rubber raft with a 61 year old man a few weeks ago. We had one mishap after another which I found hilarious. I was laughing so hard I was in tears and he couldn't stop laughing either. We barely made it back to shore with the raft afloat but it was one of the most fun weekends I ever had. So, I agree that we have to laugh at ourselves.
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well.. As for me o! I have always, always been into older guys, last real relationship i had that almost end in marriage, he was 25years my senior and i broke up our engagemet when i found out just 2months to our day that he had been married 3times and has 5kids by 4women. Youngest i have had is 12years my senior. To cut story short, this age thing is individual differences.. To some is matters to others it dont, to some it favours to others it dont.
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i think when a person is younger, 8 years seems to be a big difference. when people are older in their 40s and beyond, 8 years would probably be considered lesser of an age gap. the difference from 40 to 48 is minimal compared to 18 and 26. from 40 to 48, people usually have kids or even grown up children who moved out, been homeowners, had several career changes, dealt with financial hardships, etc.
as for the 8 yr gap of 18 to 26 it's more of an oppositional comparison. high school/just starting college vs. college/graduated college, cannot legally drink/purchase alcohol vs. can legally drink/purchase alcohol, partying and meeting as many people as possible vs. thinking about finding the "one" to settle down with and have a family, etc. i don't agree that age is "just a number." as a matter of fact, i'm really sick and tired of hearing and reading people's cliched reasoning that age is "just a number." aside from the numerical status, age is indicative of how long a person has been on earth and how much cultural and societal changes they've witnessed but it totally goes against evolutionary laws. being part of different generations creates different mentalities towards life. roaming the earth longer means there's more damaged that have been sustained so unless someone has lived in a bubble or just got defrosted from a cryogenic dome, i find it to be delusional, absolutely ridiculous, and psychologically and physically wrong when some dude my dad's age thinks he has that much in common and "connects" with a chick that's my age or much younger. my father is in his mid 50s and he thinks my female friends are complete airheads. all my friends are at least in their 30s. that should give you some indicator of generation gap that gets caused by age gaps. when i hear or see older people write in their profile that they can outlast us youngsters, i'm going to have to laugh at that. i find that ridiculous. my parents are in their 50s and even they laugh at people their age for being that much in denial about their age. just because you're active when you're older, it doesn't make you strong as someone in their 20s. just because you think you look younger, it doesn't actually mean that you are younger. how you see yourself is going to be different than how people see you, esp. how younger people actually view older people. ashton kutcher married a couger and then left her for someone his age. another fake playboy bunny backed out on marrying hugh heftner because she realized she needs to be with a guy her age. trying to find the exception to the rule and saying people are happy in marriages with huge age gaps won't ever make it the rule. being with someone with a huge age gap is completely against evolutionary reasoning. i'm probably the only person who's going against the grain and saying that it's complete bs and anyone that goes for someone who's that far apart in age has underlining issues that they either refuse to address or is unaware of having. |
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If the attraction is there, go for it. That's just it, though, age will still be a factor. I'm just not going to be attracted to men who are a lot older than me. And while men who are quite a bit younger may be attractive, they may not be mature enough. Of course it depends on the person, but age will always be a factor. Totally agree; I have never been attracted to a much younger man like say in his 30s. I think that boy is young enough to be my son and I find it creepy to date that young. When going out; I don't want people to say how nice it is that you are taking your mom out for dinner. Its laughable at best and I am not going to pretend that age doesn't matter just to go with the flow so to speak. I am 52 and dating a younger man simply is not going to make me feel younger. I don't kid myself that age is just a number. I for one am not in denial that I am aging and accept it for what it is. funny you should mention this because a fews years ago when my 28 yo son was 23 or 24 I took him out for dinner for his birthday. the waiter, a young man in his early 20s also, walked up to our table and made a comment to my son about dating cougars and me being his "cougar" thought he'd die - I thought it was funny but quickly corrected the waiter and said, "no, I'm his mother." the look on the waiter's face was PRICELESS tipped him anyway tho
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If the attraction is there, go for it. That's just it, though, age will still be a factor. I'm just not going to be attracted to men who are a lot older than me. And while men who are quite a bit younger may be attractive, they may not be mature enough. Of course it depends on the person, but age will always be a factor. Totally agree; I have never been attracted to a much younger man like say in his 30s. I think that boy is young enough to be my son and I find it creepy to date that young. When going out; I don't want people to say how nice it is that you are taking your mom out for dinner. Its laughable at best and I am not going to pretend that age doesn't matter just to go with the flow so to speak. I am 52 and dating a younger man simply is not going to make me feel younger. I don't kid myself that age is just a number. I for one am not in denial that I am aging and accept it for what it is. Just as I couldn't date a man old enough to be my father. It would definitely be creepy! |
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If the attraction is there, go for it. That's just it, though, age will still be a factor. I'm just not going to be attracted to men who are a lot older than me. And while men who are quite a bit younger may be attractive, they may not be mature enough. Of course it depends on the person, but age will always be a factor. Totally agree; I have never been attracted to a much younger man like say in his 30s. I think that boy is young enough to be my son and I find it creepy to date that young. When going out; I don't want people to say how nice it is that you are taking your mom out for dinner. Its laughable at best and I am not going to pretend that age doesn't matter just to go with the flow so to speak. I am 52 and dating a younger man simply is not going to make me feel younger. I don't kid myself that age is just a number. I for one am not in denial that I am aging and accept it for what it is. Just as I couldn't date a man old enough to be my father. It would definitely be creepy! funny you should say this as my step mother is only a few yrs older than I am she and my father have always been 2 peas in a pod - they got along so well - still seem to - but there was a unique quality to their relationship that I am not sure had a lot to do with their ages - a sort of closeness - they are definitely best friends - in a way that is unique - much different than the relationship my parents had when married- hard to put into words - they have a mutual understanding of and for each other that may be somewhat due to the perception of each other's age and attitudes from the perspective of their own generation(s)and ages - as someone much older or younger can be more understanding than ones own peers at times not sure I explained that very well |
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I'm not saying it won't work for everyone. I'm just speaking for myself.
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If the attraction is there, go for it. That's just it, though, age will still be a factor. I'm just not going to be attracted to men who are a lot older than me. And while men who are quite a bit younger may be attractive, they may not be mature enough. Of course it depends on the person, but age will always be a factor. Totally agree; I have never been attracted to a much younger man like say in his 30s. I think that boy is young enough to be my son and I find it creepy to date that young. When going out; I don't want people to say how nice it is that you are taking your mom out for dinner. Its laughable at best and I am not going to pretend that age doesn't matter just to go with the flow so to speak. I am 52 and dating a younger man simply is not going to make me feel younger. I don't kid myself that age is just a number. I for one am not in denial that I am aging and accept it for what it is. funny you should mention this because a fews years ago when my 28 yo son was 23 or 24 I took him out for dinner for his birthday. the waiter, a young man in his early 20s also, walked up to our table and made a comment to my son about dating cougars and me being his "cougar" thought he'd die - I thought it was funny but quickly corrected the waiter and said, "no, I'm his mother." the look on the waiter's face was PRICELESS tipped him anyway tho LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL when my dad and his wife (she's 2 yrs younger than him) visited me for the summer, my dad was bugging me to go look at houses and condos for the fun of it because he's been somewhat persistent about me laying down a foundation to start my own family. so i indulged him and we went "house hunting" just me and him. first off, my dad's a gentleman and he opens doors for the women in his life and in public he's polite and opens doors for others (regardless of sex/age/etc.) we went to see a house and my dad opened the car door for me and he drives a gigantic suv and i'm a small person so my dad helped me get out of the vehicle by holding my hand. the real estate people saw this and must have thought we're a couple. anyway, we walked in and looked at housing plans and such. my dad asked about financing plans and i was a few feet away looking at models. one of the realtors (who looked about my dad's age) asked him what the house would be used for. my dad said, "it's for her" and point to me. the realtor responded, "why don't you ask your wife to come over here to discuss about buying options." my dad got furious and said firmly, "she's my daughter you pervert!" everyone's faces dropped and i busted out laughing!! my dad got angry and pulled me out of the office and said, "the world has lost its damn mind!!" what's funny is this was a REPEAT of the same thing that happened when i was 14 yrs old
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as for the 8 yr gap of 18 to 26 it's more of an oppositional comparison. high school/just starting college vs. college/graduated college, cannot legally drink/purchase alcohol vs. can legally drink/purchase alcohol, partying and meeting as many people as possible vs. thinking about finding the "one" to settle down with and have a family, etc. You hit the nail on the head. In your youth you go to university and go clubbing, etc, so of course you'll be surrounded by others your own age. Why? Because that's life. Our twenties is when we get to find one, or a few potential lovers. Sometimes a friends introduces you both to each other. Sometimes you meet them in University. Our twenties. If you feel you've found the right one, you will feel butterflies. How is a youth just starting out in the big wide world meant to just suddenly want to settle down with [for example] some 40 year old? When she has men around her in University? She is just starting out. |
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i think when a person is younger, 8 years seems to be a big difference. when people are older in their 40s and beyond, 8 years would probably be considered lesser of an age gap. the difference from 40 to 48 is minimal compared to 18 and 26. from 40 to 48, people usually have kids or even grown up children who moved out, been homeowners, had several career changes, dealt with financial hardships, etc. as for the 8 yr gap of 18 to 26 it's more of an oppositional comparison. high school/just starting college vs. college/graduated college, cannot legally drink/purchase alcohol vs. can legally drink/purchase alcohol, partying and meeting as many people as possible vs. thinking about finding the "one" to settle down with and have a family, etc. i don't agree that age is "just a number." as a matter of fact, i'm really sick and tired of hearing and reading people's cliched reasoning that age is "just a number." aside from the numerical status, age is indicative of how long a person has been on earth and how much cultural and societal changes they've witnessed but it totally goes against evolutionary laws. being part of different generations creates different mentalities towards life. roaming the earth longer means there's more damaged that have been sustained so unless someone has lived in a bubble or just got defrosted from a cryogenic dome, i find it to be delusional, absolutely ridiculous, and psychologically and physically wrong when some dude my dad's age thinks he has that much in common and "connects" with a chick that's my age or much younger. my father is in his mid 50s and he thinks my female friends are complete airheads. all my friends are at least in their 30s. that should give you some indicator of generation gap that gets caused by age gaps. when i hear or see older people write in their profile that they can outlast us youngsters, i'm going to have to laugh at that. i find that ridiculous. my parents are in their 50s and even they laugh at people their age for being that much in denial about their age. just because you're active when you're older, it doesn't make you strong as someone in their 20s. just because you think you look younger, it doesn't actually mean that you are younger. how you see yourself is going to be different than how people see you, esp. how younger people actually view older people. ashton kutcher married a couger and then left her for someone his age. another fake playboy bunny backed out on marrying hugh heftner because she realized she needs to be with a guy her age. trying to find the exception to the rule and saying people are happy in marriages with huge age gaps won't ever make it the rule. being with someone with a huge age gap is completely against evolutionary reasoning. i'm probably the only person who's going against the grain and saying that it's complete bs and anyone that goes for someone who's that far apart in age has underlining issues that they either refuse to address or is unaware of having. Great post and you are spot on with everything you have stated. I was thinking the same thing actually about us being older and active. I am active for my age and I can hold my own with some of my 30 year old friends however I am sure if I partied with a bunch of 30 year olds on a regular basis: it would kill me. I also know when I fall it hurts much more and takes longer to heal than when I was 30 as our bodies are getting weaker with age. We are also in a completely different mindset as Singmesweet has mentioned. You may be younger but you are very wise for your age.
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