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Topic: Fear of Intimacy
42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Wed 08/01/12 01:22 PM
In one of the (fictional) books that I read over the weekend, there was this bit in one that the author referred to as the fear of intimacy (sex). Simply put, women of a certain age (over 40’s) that have been single (i.e. not had sex) for two years or more develop this fear of intimacy. The longer they go without sex get, the more they look for reasons (valid or invalid) not to have sex and ergo the circle begins...woman meets man, man not quite right for whatever reason, equals no sex. Agree or disagree regardless of gender. Just to note, this is not based on any scientific data, just an observation by the author and my interpretation of what I read.

lilott Joined Thu 10/12/06 Posts: 2295	Wed 08/01/12 01:37 PM
Well,I've been single for 17 years and just the thought of having sex with someone turns my stomach.

blueeyes2000 Joined Thu 11/08/07 Posts: 1517	Wed 08/01/12 01:50 PM
I would think the more they go without sex, the more they'd want it?

Down2earthdebbie Joined Tue 12/05/06 Posts: 6097	Wed 08/01/12 01:53 PM
Maybe he ate something rotten ........ he should see a Dr.

42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Wed 08/01/12 02:00 PM
Or maybe a tale of insecurity...

Rawrr_Girl Joined Sun 10/04/09 Posts: 4431	Wed 08/01/12 02:01 PM
I think it's certainly possibly :)

Teral Joined Mon 07/30/12 Posts: 1	Wed 08/01/12 02:03 PM
Or maybe afraid of not performing.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Wed 08/01/12 02:07 PM
In one of the (fictional) books that I read over the weekend, there was this bit in one that the author referred to as the fear of intimacy (sex). Simply put, women of a certain age (over 40’s) that have been single (i.e. not had sex) for two years or more develop this fear of intimacy. The longer they go without sex get, the more they look for reasons (valid or invalid) not to have sex and ergo the circle begins...woman meets man, man not quite right for whatever reason, equals no sex. Agree or disagree regardless of gender. Just to note, this is not based on any scientific data, just an observation by the author and my interpretation of what I read. Being single does not necessarily mean they're not having sex. I can't speak for other women, though, so I can't really agree or disagree for them.

Dodo_David Joined Fri 08/13/10 Posts: 48947	Wed 08/01/12 02:07 PM
In one of the (fictional) books that I read over the weekend, there was this bit in one that the author referred to as the fear of intimacy (sex). Simply put, women of a certain age (over 40’s) that have been single (i.e. not had sex) for two years or more develop this fear of intimacy. The longer they go without sex get, the more they look for reasons (valid or invalid) not to have sex and ergo the circle begins...woman meets man, man not quite right for whatever reason, equals no sex. Agree or disagree regardless of gender. Just to note, this is not based on any scientific data, just an observation by the author and my interpretation of what I read. Is there a problem with a single woman over the age of 40 not wanting to have sexual intercourse?

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Wed 08/01/12 02:11 PM Edited by singmesweet on Wed 08/01/12 02:11 PM
In one of the (fictional) books that I read over the weekend, there was this bit in one that the author referred to as the fear of intimacy (sex). Simply put, women of a certain age (over 40’s) that have been single (i.e. not had sex) for two years or more develop this fear of intimacy. The longer they go without sex get, the more they look for reasons (valid or invalid) not to have sex and ergo the circle begins...woman meets man, man not quite right for whatever reason, equals no sex. Agree or disagree regardless of gender. Just to note, this is not based on any scientific data, just an observation by the author and my interpretation of what I read. Is there a problem with a single woman over the age of 40 not wanting to have sexual intercourse? If I met a man who didn't want sex, I'd have to wonder what's going on in his life to make him not want sex. I would imagine the same would happen if someone met a woman who didn't want sex at all.

Dodo_David Joined Fri 08/13/10 Posts: 48947	Wed 08/01/12 02:30 PM Edited by Dodo_David on Wed 08/01/12 02:31 PM
Is there a problem with a single woman over the age of 40 not wanting to have sexual intercourse? If I met a man who didn't want sex, I'd have to wonder what's going on in his life to make him not want sex. I would imagine the same would happen if someone met a woman who didn't want sex at all. Has it ever occurred to you that some single adults may be personally opposed to participating in sexual intercourse outside of marriage? The fact that some single adults have such personal opposition does not mean that there is something wrong with them.

kc0003 Joined Fri 05/11/07 Posts: 26382	Wed 08/01/12 04:24 PM
Is there a problem with a single woman over the age of 40 not wanting to have sexual intercourse? If I met a man who didn't want sex, I'd have to wonder what's going on in his life to make him not want sex. I would imagine the same would happen if someone met a woman who didn't want sex at all. Has it ever occurred to you that some single adults may be personally opposed to participating in sexual intercourse outside of marriage? I’ve heard of this phenomenon, but it seems to me to be more an excuse that some people use, instead of just telling someone else that they are not interested in sleeping with them, at least, not yet!

soufiehere Joined Sat 10/24/09 Posts: 45395	Wed 08/01/12 04:26 PM
I'm not feeling it. I love sex. Gets better with age :-)

galendgirl Joined Sun 07/06/08 Posts: 24728	Wed 08/01/12 04:31 PM
I was single a long time and managed both the celibacy that went along with that (part choice, part circumstance) and the transition back into a mutually satisfying intimate/sexual relationship. I also have experienced intimate relationship without the expected sexual component. While that may not be what is typical, it is possible if both parties are willing to be committed emotionally and stay connected in other ways.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Wed 08/01/12 05:17 PM
Is there a problem with a single woman over the age of 40 not wanting to have sexual intercourse? If I met a man who didn't want sex, I'd have to wonder what's going on in his life to make him not want sex. I would imagine the same would happen if someone met a woman who didn't want sex at all. Has it ever occurred to you that some single adults may be personally opposed to participating in sexual intercourse outside of marriage? The fact that some single adults have such personal opposition does not mean that there is something wrong with them. That's fine if they don't want to have sex outside of marriage. It would not work for me, though, so I would not go for that kind of guy.

Teri11215 Joined Sun 07/22/12 Posts: 65	Wed 08/01/12 05:37 PM
I've been single, and I mean without a date for longer than I care to admit, but if I found the man that I was attracted to, I wouldn't be opposed to having sex before marriage. Besides, I really don't think I want to get married at this stage in my life. If he didn't want to have sex because his religious beliefs deny him sex before marriage, I would respect that in him also.

TBRich Joined Fri 11/07/08 Posts: 8232	Wed 08/01/12 06:47 PM
I am pushing 50 and in my experience- a small % of 40 yr olds are interested in the porno sex in every room stuff, the majority are willing but have even more baggage and last minute resistance you have to work through and then there are the ones who appear to fear intimacy. I must admit to being a bad boy and responding to all the 20-somethings who message me. A lot less work.

motowndowntown Joined Wed 11/19/08 Posts: 21803	Wed 08/01/12 08:08 PM
I suppose the opposite could also be true. Women who are so desperate for intimacy that they'll have sex with anyone.

pyxxie13 Joined Wed 09/28/11 Posts: 3835	Wed 08/01/12 10:50 PM
I'm not feeling it. I love sex. Gets better with age :-) Agree

Kahurangi Joined Thu 04/26/12 Posts: 1970	Thu 08/02/12 12:03 AM Edited by Kahurangi on Thu 08/02/12 12:05 AM
I am pushing 50 and in my experience- a small % of 40 yr olds are interested in the porno sex in every room stuff, the majority are willing but have even more baggage and last minute resistance you have to work through and then there are the ones who appear to fear intimacy. I must admit to being a bad boy and responding to all the 20-somethings who message me. A lot less work. I like the honesty in this, and I must say that I don't blame you for leaning toward the 'lot less work'...there is more space to fill the sweet little mind of some young thang ;). But do please take into consideration that the sweet young mind you mess with today, will eventually become the 40 something carrying baggage of tomorrow. Think about that one. I have made some bad choices along the way, through no fault of anybody else but me. Point being...I enjoy the sensual art of lovemaking with somebody I have a connection with from slow, passionate, mutually gratifying foreplay....right through to the wild animalistic lust...as opposed to 'just sex' for the sake of it. Tis not a difficult choice for me. To the OP...ummm...a man wrote the quote...so go figure.