it's andres.

I'm honest about me, things someone should know about me if it infringes on any potential happiness. Red flags?

I went on a first meet with someone I wanted in my life 100% after we met online and communicated daily for 60 days. I told her I wanted to put a ring on her finger and that should have been her red flag but she for her own reasons was entertaining the thoughts, my intentions, and whatever else may have been construed as being promisory.

I'm just at that point in my life where I'm done with being hit on by the wrong women and ready to start the best chapter of my adult life.

She left me sitting at the table in a stinky Chinese restaurant after we talked for a few minutes. With a 22 year age differential I wanted her to express reservations before I got her to the alter. She exhibited many signs of "silliness." But as for her red flags, yeah, when a guy says he is going to make sure you have all the financial support you need, custom build your master suite and even adopt a child because you can't have kids... He has to be nuts.

See, thing is, I don't really care if someone perceives me as being overly ambitious. I am, but I've always been. When I got married twice, my life slowed for those relationships and they disliked that I worked so much. My second had to compete with me or so she thought, but we made it work for 15 years.

The gal in question said I made her reconsider because I corrected her jokingly at the dinner table because her hands were working the smartphone in her lap from the minute I walked in the place. She said I creeped her out because I was acting weird. I drove from S.D. to L.A. to Riverside that day and moved out Valentine Day meet up one ahead, just to get the first meet out of the way. I wasn't expected much but a quick dinner but she also moved up our meet time, and then she wasn't even in the restaurant when I arrived. The girls up front were unaware that I was expected and I almost left before my date called me back into the place.

I felt like she was playing a game with me. That was her red flag. She made me doubt everything we intended to do.

Add: My ex girlfriend whom I lived with for 6 months in Vegas made me drive up from Cali to get her and then pulled a disappearing act when I got there. She was deceiving me when telling me she wanted to get married and start our lives together, when she was still rooming with her ex boyfriend. She was 35 year old...

I don't even know if I should be in a relationship at this point. The above women suffered from Chrones and Diabetes. Seriously, when I was younger I used to have a list of things I wouldn't accept in a date, the primary was if they had any medical issues.

Oops, lol, I reread the forum and it says lesbians and bisexuals only!!!

Sorry.

Actually, its too late for me to even bother dating anymore which is why I don't. I have way too many red flags.

What makes you think my life isn't happy now?

Thanks Sweet. Yeah, my biggest red flag is my age. Where I live the majority of men want younger women as they want to have kids. Its not something I can change so I just accept that is how it is here. Oh well, certainly is not going to stop me from enjoying life.

I'm too complicated for the majority of women to handle. Haha!

How is that a red flag? Isn't that like saying laughing at comedies is a red flag?

Red flags? My age is the biggest one. Then after that, my looks. The fact that I can't turn off my intelligence. Divorced for 30 years and only one serious relationship in that time. Don't own a TV or listen to pop music.

Anyone who wants to date me has to be attracted to weirdness and not care about femininity.

Not true. All it takes is that one gal to see how special you are. If your heart is open enough to see that, you don't limit yourself, take some risks, I'm almost certain somebody real and honest will see that. And I am a magnet for attracting those kinda guys. You're far from that believe me.

I cooked you Mac 'n Cheese, I hope you like it.

I don't know if I do or don't.
The truth is people are going to think whatever they want to so I really don't care anymore.
If they don't want to really get to know me and ask about any "Red flags" I am putting out then they are free to assume whatever they want.No loss for me.

I guess I've been labeled too prissy at times. Maybe too much of a girlie girl. One guy said that once and I wasn't aware he meant it as an insult until the conversation ended. Of course I laughed and took it with a grain of salt. But I personally haven't had problems with it. Part of my charm.

You know I feel the same way in that I don't care anymore either. If society is going to judge me; then what is the point of even bothering to try?

No point at all in my opinion.
I know who and what I am. I know my heart and soul and my faults.
People either can accept me for myself as I do them or they can bugger off

Your red flags are actually some of the things I find most attractive! I know I'm in a minority when it comes to liking muscular, older, military women, though.

I served in the Marines, so I feel like I have a lot of common ground with other military members, and I like that. There are things about being in the military you can't describe to someone that hasn't, so you belong to a sort of fellowship.

I'm not intimidated by muscles at all...I like them. I think they look sexy, on everyone. I really enjoy physical touch, giving and receiving, and muscles are required for massage. You can't massage someone's bones, after all!

I tend to get along better with more mature women. Women who are younger tend to have more short term interests, like fashion, going to nightclubs, being with the "it" crowd. Women my age and older have a favorite bar that is not typically a crowded meat market and they prefer genuine people to popularity. I've had younger girlfriends who wanted me to dress like I was their age, and that just doesn't match my personality. I'm also more settled...I have a home, not an apartment, I have a career, not a job, and I'm realistic about physical appearance.

However, you're from Canada, so that's a red flag...LOL

Thanks for your input. Yeah; there are always red flags with me which is why I don't bother to date anymore but its all good.

My biggest red flags:

I'm an atheist. I used to hide it, because most of the U.S. reacts so negatively towards atheism...but after work and relationship discrimination, I felt like it was time to make my stand and let the world around me know that I don't share their beliefs and I'm not going to sit quietly while they assume I do, or just don't know better.

I'm 42, losing my hair and I'm thirty pounds overweight.

I'm twice divorced.

I have Severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea, meaning I have to sleep with a mask over my face.

I have fibromyalgia, which means my physical activity can be limited at times and even with medication, I suffer from bouts of pain and mood changes because of the pain. I'm trying not to let fibro define me, but I get discouraged and feel like I should just become a hermit instead of hoping to find someone who understands how chronic illness can affect someone.

Apparently my never being married is a red flag to some. I find that odd, but oh well. What can you do?

Yeah, I feel the same way. I used to try to explain or justify why but I can't be bothered anymore.

I don't think there's really anything to explain. I'd worry more about someone who has been divorced several times.

Though, some others don't feel the same. People have actually asked me what's wrong with me since I am 33 and haven't been married and have no kids, as if it's a problem.