Topic: Too Much? | |
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insecurity...the need for constant contact. having to know where I am and what I’m doing every moment of the day frightens me. I'm very difficult to reach and have gotten some flack for it - so it's not like this is something I'd do but at the same time, part of me is also suspicious if you aren't doing anything wrong why does this matter? Can you see how this paranoia makes it look like you may be doing things or with people you don;t want her to know about/ hiding something? no I don’t see it at all. if I’m in a “relationship” with you, I afford you the freedom to do things without me. it’s up to me to trust you and give you the room to be you and have a life both in and out of our life together. I don’t think expecting the same is too much to ask. besides, if you are always worried that I’ll fail the relationship, why would bother to stay? |
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I much prefer that we both just.....relax....and be ourselves.
At my age...I feel we should both have a grasp on that by now. Humor is a great Ice breaker and Relaxant. If I can get her laughing, she is more open and relaxed to just go with the flow and be....herself. I am always just.........me. I dont beleive in....pretence. I agree with sweetestgirl.....if we can do this.....we will know our commonalities quickly. Thus knowing if there will be any need to .... Proceed!!! JMO |
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Just curious how much is too much when you're in the beginning stages of a relationship? What really turns you guys off about the opposite sex? It depends if I am infatuated with her or not since it is the beginning of a relationship. If I am infatuated with her I am usually too stupid to be turned off by anything. As the infatuation increases any attention she pays to anyone or anything besides me is a total turnoff. Especially children because I have found some that can be more immature than me. I get totally clingy to her and anything that interferes with that cling is a total irritation. After all she is supposed to be going with me. She should immediately kill and destroy anything that reminds her that she had a life before she met me. After all I should be the most important thing in her life. |
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Edited by
sweetestgirl11
on
Sun 01/22/12 05:52 PM
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insecurity...the need for constant contact. having to know where I am and what I’m doing every moment of the day frightens me. I'm very difficult to reach and have gotten some flack for it - so it's not like this is something I'd do but at the same time, part of me is also suspicious if you aren't doing anything wrong why does this matter? Can you see how this paranoia makes it look like you may be doing things or with people you don;t want her to know about/ hiding something? no I don’t see it at all. if I’m in a “relationship” with you, I afford you the freedom to do things without me. it’s up to me to trust you and give you the room to be you and have a life both in and out of our life together. I don’t think expecting the same is too much to ask. besides, if you are always worried that I’ll fail the relationship, why would bother to stay? I was thinking of it more in terms of sending little love notes I think a relationship will not work if there are rules about contacting each other and yes I think you sound a little paranoid jmho also - you would not be "affording " me my freedom. I do what I want when I want, but would not object to your company or being contacted by you because I am not hiding anything |
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You guys are soooo funny.
I have red hair now. But this is still funny. |
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A friend introduced me to a woman once and she spent about an hour of our first meeting talking about how she wanted " the house with the white picket fence and the kids in the yard." I thought to myself, "Shouldn't we maybe try going out to dinner first?" I've had that experience a few times. Immediate disqualification. |
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You guys are soooo funny. I have red hair now. But this is still funny. I know - these guys are so freakin' paranoid every time I date someone I try to respect his indepence and then he gets mad at ME for not keeping in contact so when I read this stuff I just crack up - men are such wusses |
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Edited by
MariahsFantasy
on
Sun 01/22/12 06:10 PM
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insecurity...the need for constant contact. having to know where I am and what I’m doing every moment of the day frightens me. I've had this happen a time or too. I've had a date that got worried if I didn't call him the next day something bad happened to me. lol |
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You guys are soooo funny. I have red hair now. But this is still funny. I know - these guys are so freakin' paranoid every time I date someone I try to respect his independence and then he gets mad at ME for not keeping in contact so when I read this stuff I just crack up - men are such wusses Guuuurl, I can't ever see a guy getting mad at you... But that is a funny a$$ concept |
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Just curious how much is too much when you're in the beginning stages of a relationship? What really turns you guys off about the opposite sex? Other than that NOT much she can do wrong to me,,in actions. |
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There's a lot of power in giving your digits away. Hmmmmm, either its used for good or pure unabashed evil
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insecurity...the need for constant contact. having to know where I am and what I’m doing every moment of the day frightens me. I'm very difficult to reach and have gotten some flack for it - so it's not like this is something I'd do but at the same time, part of me is also suspicious if you aren't doing anything wrong why does this matter? Can you see how this paranoia makes it look like you may be doing things or with people you don;t want her to know about/ hiding something? no I don’t see it at all. if I’m in a “relationship” with you, I afford you the freedom to do things without me. it’s up to me to trust you and give you the room to be you and have a life both in and out of our life together. I don’t think expecting the same is too much to ask. besides, if you are always worried that I’ll fail the relationship, why would bother to stay? I was thinking of it more in terms of sending little love notes I think a relationship will not work if there are rules about contacting each other and yes I think you sound a little paranoid jmho also - you would not be "affording " me my freedom. I do what I want when I want, but would not object to your company or being contacted by you because I am not hiding anything why would you assume I’m paranoid? I was not talking about little love notes, that's much different than constant contact. I don’t think most of us mean that. I/we are talking about people that are so insecure they have to keep tabs on you. all I’m saying is that I have no need to know what you are doing at all hours of the day. if you do have this need, I am not the one you should be with. pretty simple, no? btw, assuming someone has something to hide just because they require a bit of freedom, even whithin a relationship, sounds a little paranoid to me... |
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There's a lot of power in giving your digits away. Hmmmmm, either its used for good or pure unabashed evil one hopes for the former there is only 1 person on this site with my # I'm not that worried about it tho' (he isn;t "speaking " to me anyway - good grief ) and what klc said - I seldom answer my phone so it just tends to cause problems |
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I have a very simple plan to show them,,anyone,,my truth.
In a relationship,,I HAVE NO TIME THAT SHE CAN'T SPEAK WITH ME. Then,,she knows that and can relax within her mind to feel. And THAT,,,is so great for them to just have THAT absolute! And IF she also had gave me that same,,also so very cool to have and know,,as to then relax any thoughts in the back of ones mind... and YES,,I KNOW,,there shouldn't be any to begain with but,,,there seems to always be,,,, in MANY... |
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insecurity...the need for constant contact. having to know where I am and what I’m doing every moment of the day frightens me. I'm very difficult to reach and have gotten some flack for it - so it's not like this is something I'd do but at the same time, part of me is also suspicious if you aren't doing anything wrong why does this matter? Can you see how this paranoia makes it look like you may be doing things or with people you don;t want her to know about/ hiding something? no I don’t see it at all. if I’m in a “relationship” with you, I afford you the freedom to do things without me. it’s up to me to trust you and give you the room to be you and have a life both in and out of our life together. I don’t think expecting the same is too much to ask. besides, if you are always worried that I’ll fail the relationship, why would bother to stay? I was thinking of it more in terms of sending little love notes I think a relationship will not work if there are rules about contacting each other and yes I think you sound a little paranoid jmho also - you would not be "affording " me my freedom. I do what I want when I want, but would not object to your company or being contacted by you because I am not hiding anything why would you assume I’m paranoid? I was not talking about little love notes, that's much different than constant contact. I don’t think most of us mean that. I/we are talking about people that are so insecure they have to keep tabs on you. all I’m saying is that I have no need to know what you are doing at all hours of the day. if you do have this need, I am not the one you should be with. pretty simple, no? btw, assuming someone has something to hide just because they require a bit of freedom, even whithin a relationship, sounds a little paranoid to me... I think we're talking about different things an obsession with controlling someone's whereabouts can be dangerously paranoid. That is different than what I meant, yes I am not paranoid, but I am experienced - if a man is hiding something he will become very defensive about his whereabouts and his phone/computer- so just based on some past experiences it is a bit of a red flag - if a man gets too defensive about his whereabouts that does seem a little paranoid, my first question is why if "he" imposes "requirements" he will not be in a relationship with me |
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The problem with this question is that every guy is different. I prefer just to be my spastic self and hope for the best. Que sera sera. I agree with Ruth on this one. |
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Sun 01/22/12 06:56 PM
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Attitude. Smell. (too much/lack of perfume) Style. Body/facial hair. 'DB Syndrome'. Excessive talking. (rambling on about exes, i.e.) TMFI (telling me you had the clap once) Comparing me to others. Mangled hair. (like you just left Chainsaw Massacre house) Being toooooo shy. Just to name a few... Annoying laughs, and uncalled for ones too.. Damn you're picky. |
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You guys are soooo funny. I have red hair now. But this is still funny. I know - these guys are so freakin' paranoid every time I date someone I try to respect his independence and then he gets mad at ME for not keeping in contact so when I read this stuff I just crack up - men are such wusses Guuuurl, I can't ever see a guy getting mad at you... But that is a funny a$$ concept well not lilke furious mad - just annoyed it's never on purpose - but I am pretty bad about things like returning phone calls....and I always want to go home early & I am a total commitment phobe - so ya they get mad at me and then it's over as I won't talk to him if he is mad at me. at least that has been mostly the case in the past |
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clinginess (asking too many questions about my schedule)
snottiness (talking down constantly about others) anti religion, anti Obama chat (self explanatory,,lol) egocentrism (talking too much about themself) bad hygiene (being unshaven, smelling bad, scratching, picking nose) bad manners (constantly checking a phone, burping out loud, being rude and inconsiderate to others) |
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