from the meister of deep questions.

Anyhow a though crossed my mind. Nothing new. But it has everything to do with what I was pseudo taught what relationships and marriage were back in the 1950s, my growing up in the 70s and the culture clash then (WELL Really more of a transition), and as I grew and went on to high school things still changed.

But these things hold true as far as cultural beliefs (or at least an expectation culturally),
1. People marry to give a child a name.
2. People marry because religious values and morality says one must marry for the act of procreation.
3. People marry out of social expectation.
4. People marry for community advancement.
Now these are the core beliefs.

But then it crossed my mind what we are told.

1. We will meet a Boy/ Girl, settle down, and have kids.
2. You are not happy unless you are married.
3. You can have limitless sex finally.

Many religions say,

1. Women are subservient to men.
2. Birth control is bad.
3. DIVORCE? DO YOU WANT TO GO TO HELL???
4. Your wife has to serve her husband!
5. Marriage is forever whether you like it or not.

BUT

Actors are married and divorced up to two or three times a year...

And for some conflict.

Here we are in the year 2012. Women have been liberated. Equal rights for all. But what of the institution of marriage. Has it gotten any better?

THAT IS THE QUESTION!!!!

For her are some problems I see in dating in the here and now. First of all with equality comes a shift in responsibility and paradigm. Women expect men to make the first move. This has been a standard all along BUT when offered the freedom to speak up and tell a man what they are thinking women go back to the old standard.

Also men are still expected to be the breadwinner in a society where women are in some cases much better at making money and careers. Many women have changed lifestyles for careers and in that marriages have been shattered. The fat is people can and do change over time and sometimes relationships cannot adapt or change to fit. What of that marriage when that spark is gone?

Is the institution of marriage doomed to go the way of the Do-do? I think it is. There is a lot working against traditional marriage. Media, human nature, money, and social circles can play havoc on the family dynamic. Marriage as we have been taught is unnatural to the human condition. Humans like any other animal have been making babies since time began for us and will go on when we as a species are long gone! God did not order us to get permission to knock boots.

When all is said and done what makes a family? A piece of paper? Somehow I don't think Marriage makes a family happen. And there is a lot we may have been overlooking about it for a long time. It seems the sense of commitment has gone as I thought about it. I was under the impression that family is forever. Well, sad fact of life. Nothing lasts forever. But sometimes some of us get it right, and that is when marriage is a beautiful thing.

But when marriage fills a immediate need like so many seem to make of it the depth and meaning are lost! Also I am surprised how fast some people are to rush into marriage. And those marriages last how long? One of the shortest marriages, Sinneade O'conner, 18 hours. Marriage ended after the wedding party when her new husband caught her outside having a little 4:20 break and he flipped out on her!

But like fine art, marriage does not just happen with a snap of the fingers. It takes time and work. So for those of you in a rush all I can say is take what you know and throw it out the window cause the old rule book does not work in this Ball Game this season!

Them rules keep changing damn it.

So hope you dug the rhetoric.

And for a lot of you out there who are not familiar with TV from the 1950s, (the reruns went on up till the very early 1970's), a proper home mom and dad slept in separate twin beds! Mom kept house. And the Beaver never swore or cursed or smoked cigarets!

What have we got today? TWILIGHT! I frikken rest my case!

marriage is as vital as gender

it plays a huge role in how we relate to each other although it is not the only type of relationship , siblings relate one way, parents and children another, friends another, lovers yet another

I think the extreme trend toward equalness without logic is causing us to belittle the significance of the family foundation(marriage) as much as we are belittling the significance of 'gender'


I think we have begun to see any aknowledgement or encouragement of differences as a promotion of inferior/superior statuses, as opposed to just 'differences'

I still hold to my philosophy that 'aliens' are nothing more than our advanced selves once we adapt out of all our differences to try to be completely identical,,,

I personally see marriage as antiquated and completely unnecessary. It's an outdated relic of a time when women were considered property -- she changes her last name to his name as a sign she is now "his."

While it's true that there are places in the world which are still backwards enough to discriminate against children of unmarried parents -- never mind that the children came into the world through no fault of their own -- there will hopefully come a time when people are smart enough to see past religious agendas and the no-win black hole of societal expectation.

If people want to get married, they should -- it hurts no one, and it's nobody else's business. I'd be inclined to say the same of those who practice phrenology.

I'm completely in favor of gay marriage, by the way. Why should straight people be the only ones who know the true meaning of misery?

I asked a similar question here about a year ago and got slammed. I hope you do, too. Just kidding.

I think marriage is extremely useful as a legal contract, especially when you have children.

I think the ceremony of exchanging rings is beautiful and I'd hate to see that go away. It's a pronouncement of your commitment to someone and I like that. I just don't think it needs to be backed up by a legal document.

The pain is necessary but the misery is optional.
(A dedication to my friend who went by the name Optional.)

I'm so with you on this..although I would say that the one benefit of marriage is when it comes to equitable (and some may laugh) division of property/assets.

This is a very real concern. I'm sitting on some potentially lucrative intellectual property and I'll be damned if I'm going to share it with a deceptive domesticatrix.

I'm surprised you haven't contacted a lawyer, Lex, and gotten information on pre-nups. I know I certainly would, even now, for simple stuff like the animals and books. I won't dare risk getting screwed over, by an ex, married or not.

Yeah, that's something I may need to look into at some point. As long as I don't get involved with anybody, it's not an issue, and I'm not seeing anything remotely resembling a relationship prospect, but if it ever happens, I'll need to make sure I hang onto all the assets stemming from my creative endeavors....

I don't know what to tell you guys on this one. My new given name is "She who runs in traffic away from marriage proposals". It takes about 20 minutes to get that piece of paper and about $100 and at least 6 months to get rid of it and thousands of dollars in legal costs and half your ****.

Isn't being a servant bad enough? Imagining being a sub-servant must be horrible.

Well Andy; I went against the norm. No religion, no marriage, no kids, and no regrets. I am not your typical woman and I do what I want when I want. I don't believe in male or female traditional roles either. I have always had a rebellious nature as I hate being like everyone else; you know the cookie cutter thing.

ahah,, theres the issue

people have ABUSED marriage like they abuse anything else

people have learned how to distort it to abuse and diminish others into mere servants, sex toys, and checkbooks,,,,,which is not at all what healthy marriage is,,

Marriage today is a partnership to raise children. It also takes two incomes to pay the expenses of living or owning a house even if both people make pretty good wages.

So it could be about survival and convenience.

Marriage IS,,the ONE GIFT OF HEART,,that ANY OF US HAVE to OFFER ONE LOVER,, TO TAKE AND HOLD US, FOREVER.
Its a prideful, cherished, GIVING of one's self,,KNOWING,,and TRULY BELIEVING, that THEY NEVER WILL WANT SOMEONE ELSE TO LOVE....
Just their ONE who they loved so much,,they locked their soul to theirs for all of any,,intimacies of loving and sharing all that they are..PERIOD...now THIS is that real true inner love that comes to happen inside,,yet MANY far lesser degrees of this love,,still result in a marriage that might STILL keep them both IN-LOVE forever together?

But the gift of love and the gift of the heart can be given without inviting THE STATE or THE CHURCH into the agreement.

The contract is just a legal document that says: I will love you and be faithful to you but if you don't keep the marriage vows I will sue you for all your are worth.

Marriage to me is like lima beans i tried it but didn't like it.They both left a nasty taste in my mouth.

I have had to wives,,BOTH lived with them each BEFORE even having a marriage thought..
BUT,,I am saying that MANY NOW want the BEST OF ALL THEY CAN GET,
and NOT INVEST REAL HEART AND NAMES INTO THEM...
And as that is catching on in this world,,it is also depresiating the ACT,,of BONDING FOR LIFE,,and Names being CHANGED,,and even RINGS being CARRIED...

I mean heelANYONE can pretend and play WE'RE TOGETHER,,and OH WE LOVE EACH OTHER MORE THAN LIFE,,,so then MY THOUGHTS TO THAT ,would be,,THEN WHY NOT,,MARRY,,for to me its a very simple task to take part,,for it being felt within some,,as their World to know?

Marriage is for some and not for others...

I feel that one should get married only if they want that certain bond between two people. It means different to each of us.

Some see no need in marriage anymore and feel that it is only a piece of paper. It is fine if one feels that way. But...there are others that feel marriage is another step in order to unit two people together.

Regardless if you get married or not in the state of Texas it does not eliminate them from divorce.

Myself I have been married once and did so due to I was in-love with the one I married. Would I do it again sure I would if the love was that strong. Is that something I expect? Not at all...right now I'm happy without going there...but I'm not against it either.

in Christianity the man and the woman submit to EACH OTHER

don't try to pony ride is into submission with incorrect religious wishful thinking....