Im a single mother and believe to be upfront and honest about that. I have a great job and support my girls on my own. But Im looking for some companion ship, but once hearing I have kids it puts a stop to any interest in me. So is that a deal breaker being a single mom?

I dont think it is...there are singleparent dating sites even. Just be careful who you hang around, I wouldnt be advertising your kids...cuz the creep-os...

It is so tricky like do you tellt hem right away, so you're not pegged as a liar or do you keep it a secret to weed out the molestors....its a challenge.

Depends on the dude. Some men are stand up...some are a waste.

Exactly I don't want to be pegged as a liar. But Im not bringing any man around my girls till I know. I have babysitter so I can go out and try dating, but have to find a man first lol

For me, it's the biggest deal-breaker. Been there, done that, got the dirty diaper, no thanks. I am not a parent, the whole concept makes no sense to me, and I choose not to be involved with anyone who has kids.

I need to add that this in no way means I have anything against single mothers personally -- most of my friends on-line are single mothers. They understand that I have a preference, and that's what it is -- a preference, not a putdown.

Sure for some it can be a deal breaker. Many my age have had kids and have raised them already. The last thing they want is to raise more kids...

This goes from even those younger that are dating.. But sometimes it is due to they don't have kids and would rather find those that do not have any yet as well.

But regardless if it is a deal breaker then it just weeds out those you would not really want to be around. If they don't like the idea you have kids you will have to listen to them whine or pout about you don't spend enough time with them ect....

All for weeding them out quick.....less drama...

For some people, dating a single parent is a deal breaker but that depends on the age of the guy.

When I was in my 20’s, I would not date men with children. Part of the reason for this was based on stories and experiences of friends that dated men with children. The stories/experiences were always about the child’s mother causing problems in the relationship through jealousy or the man going back to the mother (of his kids) or still having sex with the mother while dating. Also, at that time, I wasn’t the most child friendliest person in the world.

Now that I’m in my early 40’s with kids of my own, it’s rare to meet guys in the age bracket that I'm looking for that doesn't have children so it tends to be less of a deal breaker.

I also think that older men (even those without kids), assume that most women in their 40’s have children so again, it is less of a deal breaker.

I do know what you mean about being called a 'liar' for not being honest about having kids...it is a delicate balance. I tend to be upfront about it but reluctant where the introductions are concerned.

All I am gonna say is that some chicks have devil spawn for kids. Not implying that you do, but I once dated a chick who's kid was like a midget Satan. It's true. The kid ran from Holy Water...but anyways.....

Some dudes just look at a chick with kids and automatically assume she wants to find a daddy to help raise her kids. I know that sounds harsh but it is truth. Some dudes look past it. Some dudes like to tap ya and then run away before you introduce them to your demon spawn. It's the way of the world.

Yeah, some kids are devil spawns, not mine...but i dont speak on behalf of their father, heehee, luckily they have been under my good and trustworthy instruction....

Hahah it is not only men that think this way. Many times men that have kids since they are not around them let them manipulate them and try to do what they can to break their dad up.

I prefer myself men that have grown kids or none...But it does not always work that way. So then it comes down to how ya both get along with each other kids...

Yeah, I am not a parent, but when I see a kid dominating a dad, I wanna go "Dude. If I had thrown a hissy fit in this store in front of my dad, the way your kid is doing to you, he would've pulled my britches down and whooped my ***" No school like the old school. Lol.

probably for some, and not for others.

I dont usually find it an issue with men who also have children(depending upon how many children are involved, adding one more child to a family is a bit different than adding three or four)

Im always up front about my kids. When they were younger I wouldnt introduce them to some one I was dating untill I felt it was safe. Now that their all adults they seem to think they have to give their approval frist. :)

It depends on the guy. I know for me if a guy is a single dad; it would be a deal breaker for me. However; there are guys and gals that would welcome kids; so don't give up hope.

It shouldn't be at all.....but not all men are ready and/or willing to deal with it. The right man at the right time will come around and make the wait worth it

From what I have seen and been told guys will generally date women with children until they get burned at least once sometimes more often.

As a parent I found being honest with a guy from the jump that I had children and until they passed muster as a boyfriend they weren't going to get close to my kids worked. Saved my kids a lot of "wanna be's" .

Because I had other single dad's, guy friends, male family when my kids first met a guy the word "boyfriend" wasn't tossed around until everyone got to know each other and see if the personalities worked.

Never failed if my kids didn't like someone sooner or later there was a pretty good reason. It isn't always something evil they just instinctively know when a match is not a match.

But yes the posters who say some people's kids are "evil" are not too far off. Sometimes it is intentional; never underestimate a child's desire to reunite his family or punish a parent that they see as failed. Sometimes the poisonus crap from an Ex can carry right on through theri kids. Popular premios there is it's better to cut losses in those situations. So making some kind of cival relationship with an "Outlaw" generally is advisable.

generally speaking it is not a lot of fun being a "step parent". Really they have no rights. Get no respect. Accused of henious stuff wheather they would even dream of doing it. And most times get shoved aside if a relationship goes south no matter how well they treat the kids.

I think the step parent difficulties arise from how people deal with their family dynamic.

Our family never had 'steps.' Some of us had more than one mom or dad,, but at their homes, their rule was law...period.

That is kind of how it went in mine but seems a lot of people at least try to dictate from beyond the porch and often in couples there isn't a lot of meeting of the minds on family dynamics before the fact. Which seems to doom many to failure. That and teamsmanship.

RIght. I always felt like I couldnt ask someone to be responsible for my child but not give them authority to do what needed to be done,,,whether it be feeding them or disciplining them.

But, I had absolute faith in my childs father and his love for our son. I didnt question his 'house rules' whether he enforced them alone or with a partner.

I was always upfront about my child. We were a "package deal."
It was a deal breaker for me if he wasn't willing to accept another part of me. I would date men with children but it never worked out due to (the x, the children or other issues). I'm still single by choice.