I can deal with the kids. Its the ball breakers I have trouble with.

When I was in my 20's it might have made a difference (even though that situation never came up), but ever since I became 'available' again when I was 34 and primarily ended up dating women in their 40's (by chance) I came to the realization that it's hard to find somebody who DIDN'T have kids. So, even though not a preference, it was a part of reality I had to accept.

I'll be glad to confirm that it's hard to find someone without kids. For me, it's been pretty much impossible. And if one does turn up, her whole life is built upon having them as soon as possible. That's one of the main reasons I'm not actively looking anymore.

Strangely enough, even though the odds were against me, all but one (ok, 1 1/2) of the women I dated didn't have kids (and the youngest she had was old enough to be self-sufficient). I was prepared for the opposite, but that's just the way it worked out. Maybe because I'm just a kid myself in a grown-up body I scare away mothers.

You, sir, are extremely fortunate!

You should see my mail. I draw nothing BUT mothers. If there really are any childfree women on dating sites (which I doubt!), I am obviously anathema to them! Hitler would have better luck on dating sites than what I've had....!

There's PLENTY of child-free women on dating sites. I get mail from them CONSTANTLY here. Even though most are from Ghana, Nigeria, etc and they want me to give them a child..... Seriously though. They're out there and when the time is right, the right one will surface for ya.

I've been dabbling with dating sites since 1998 -- and NOTHING! Yeah, I get the scambuckets from Nigeria, Ghana, etc., but those are all useless anyway. And when I find a profile where it says "Has children? No," it always says right after that "Wants children? Yes, dammit, right now hurry up hurry up can't wait biological clock." Even the 19-year-olds all have three kids now....

I do not think it is a deal breaker for the most part. When they do "poof" and vanish take it as a sign that wasn't meant to be.

Hey Lex...why have you not started your own site yet?
"Neverwantskidsandordomesticatedhusbands.com"

I'm actually kind of lazy, and it seems like a lot of work. Especially since the site won't be very successful without any women joining!

I didn't get started on dating sites till '07 after I got out of a 12 year relationship and considering I work from home, rarely go to bars, live in a small town, etc. I figured I'd give it a shot. Even though I up'd my standards a LOT when I got back on 'the scene', I still kept an open mind. Even though, one of my 'rules' was NO LDR's! I sure messed that one up. But, hey, sometimes you gotta even break your own rules if you're gonna find the one that's for you.

Build and they shall come.......

If the books aren't drawing 'em in, I'm done trying!

I hate to break it to you, but the written art is slowly going the ways of the 8-track and vinyl. I have a feeling that there's much more to you than your writing anyway, so don't worry about it. Have you thought that maybe your standards are WAY too high? Sure, we all need standards, but we must keep them 'slightly' out of reach at all times......

I don't think it's asking too much -- no kids, no drugs, no alcohol. Everything else is negotiable. I just don't want kids or drugs or alcohol in my life at all.

I've seen some women's profiles where they have a list of two dozen requirements, some of which seem a little narrow (age 25-27), but I'm not about to e-mail them and rake them over the coals just because I don't see things the way they do. Everybody has their own priorities -- I may not understand theirs, but I'll respect them, and I won't try to twist anyone's arm to make them change. I just wish they'd show me the same consideration.

And yes, it's probably true that the no kids/no alcohol thing excludes approximately 122% of the female population, but I'd still rather be alone than be with a parent or a drinker.

No drugs, understand. No alcohol, understand (all too well). But, finding a woman who doesn't drink AT ALL is really hard to find. Let alone without kids. So, yeah, you already cut out the vast majority of people in your 'aimed' age range. So, do you exclude mothers in general, or just those who don't have 'grown' kids?

I've also seen chicks who have a zillion 'requirements' on their profile. I rarely ever sent the first email to start with for anybody, but there was a few times that I've sent to them and told them to lighten up a little. Of course, usually no response or a REALLY negative one, but years later they're still single. No matter how perfect two people may be for each other, there's ALWAYS gotta be some 'give and take' to make things work. Kids, well, not much you can do about that, but, drugs or alcohol, they may stop that depending on their priorities.

I casually point out that they can sell them on E-Bay.

I did my Daddy thing but that ship has sailed and been torpedoed. (I was actually a pretty good Dad.)

But, after what I went through (horrible seperation and the kid being used against me as an emotional weapon...never again.

Besides, at 43, I am to old to become a responsible parent.

Most people tend to say that I'm great with kids(maybe cause I'm a big kid myself). My last GF had 3 kids (all teenage boys) and all lived with me. At first all was fine, but they practically had no 'father figure' their whole lives and their mother wasn't great at 'discipline'. I'm really laid back, but, in MY house, if I have rules, they ARE to be followed. A lot of butting heads there....

No butting heads dude....

In your own home...your word is LAW.

On the street, everyone is equal.

in Someone elses home, thier word is law.

It is a respect thing and alot of kids ain't had thier @ss handed to them on a platter to realize that respect ain't just words..it is a physical @ss kicking if push comes to shove...and thier momma's p*$$y ain't worth putting up with some soft handed mommas boy talking crap to a man in his own home. I am partial to one swat across the mouth with a belt. They quickly learn.

It is only a deal "bender".

THERE is a man trying to snag some p**sy!

You go man!