I get really impressed when a young man, teenaged or younger, holds the door for me. I always make a positive comment to encourage them to keep it up. something like "what a handsome young man!" and always a thank you with a smile.

What impresses me is elderly independent ladies with a sense of humor; Especially the sarcastic kind. She was doing just fine making her own coffee and the front office put in this notice on the front door of the nursing station that only staff was allowed to handle the coffee pot. "Oh, I need a big strong man to get me coffee because I am just a woman."

you haven't been to texas lately, huh mh?

I think it all boils down to respect. There are certain people if they say baby, sweetie or honey to me in the right context and tone of voice can get away with it. Like there is a southern woman at the CVS who calls me all those things. She is not that much older than me but I say "Thank you Ma'm" back. Certain men who have tried calling me those things in a derogatory way have had their body parts handed back to them. However, I have a boyfriend from 1990 who still refers to me as Pumpkin and because it was never a put down ever and was only said as a term of endearment in the right context, he can get away with it. He will not get his behind handed to him. But this is a man who always opened the car door for me, etc. I have one ex who while dating him would call me "baby" and I would say "I'm not YOUR baby" because he had that whole "my woman" thing going on like I was property. And that is not cool. And I dated the star basketball player in my school in high school for years and he referred to me as his "old lady" as a teenager and it was okay because again this was a guy who brought me candy and roses and drove me everywhere and opened doors for me, etc. So it all comes down to respect and who is doing what..and the tone it's done in.

I agree...Texas men know all about chivalry...it's bred into them!

I will seriously ask a male friend who is just a friend to turn a wrench for me or something because I can't get it. I really think it makes them happy. I swear you can smell their testosterone level rise. Like I needed help replacing the peep hole in my door and my neighbor helped me. It was caked on with twenty tons of paint and I didn't know what I was doing. And also I think my one friend who was a guy I did a lot for was disappointed because I got new door locks and was changing them myself and didn't let him do it...now I think about it and I am like you big dummy...you should have let him for his ego's sake...he was trying to pay you back....I think some times men like to be needed....I know that sounds kind of dumb...at the same time I get all happy when I bake my pumpkin spice cake from scratch and give it to the neighbors and they are impressed so.......

From my dealings in Texas, I think that's because if you treat a lady wrong, her brothers, father, uncle, cousins and possible mother will show up with shot guns and make you apologize ; ) My family in northern FL is the same way. : )

I can surely go beyond that, I just expressed my point with regards to the gentleman gestures as tackled by the OP. Personally, I can profoundly write many things to teach my children with regards to manners for sure.

Being polite is fine, I can do that, and still doing it. Just expressing my own experience.

No, that's Arkansas Around my part of Texas we still use a rope

I just turned down a man's help to load a heavy box on a cart while I was at Home Depot. Now; I am sure all you guys are saying what a feminist as she won't accept a man's help and are upset once more that women don't like chivalry. In fact; this is my way of ensuring that I can lift it as I need to take it of my car by myself when I get home. However; I did thank the man and the other three men working cash that offered to help me at Home Depot so at least I was polite about it. So, just an example that sometimes its just about being practical and not about you guys being a gentleman or showing chivilary.

As am I. We just have different views on the subject.

Well, we are a tight clan. Some still to this day still stick the shotgun through the window while someone knocks on the door. I mean if they make it past the dog then it is only respectful to greet them with the shotgun. After all they might be in-laws, creditors or worse yet revenuers trying to find our still or pot plants. We have learned to be wary of who we offer our trust to.