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| Topic: Nervous Men | |
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Edited by
SHOULDORNOT
on
Mon 09/26/11 06:39 AM
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Why the hell are men so nervous when you do go meet them? I mean for God's sake you are on here to meet women. The one guy I met for a "Meet and Greet" says: "I am so nervous I don't even know if I can eat in front of you"! Give me a break. I had to pat him on the shoulder and tell him to relax while I went to the ladies room. I was like hey - I am down to earth and just be yourself. We did make it through the meal; however, didn't meet again.
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Well, silly, they are nervous because it
could be the start of something big. They must already like you enough to worry about your reactions. You can put up with the sweating and stuttering :-) |
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Well, silly, they are nervous because it could be the start of something big. They must already like you enough to worry about your reactions. You can put up with the sweating and stuttering :-) yes I think that's true - the more you are attracted to someone the more nervous about the meet I think that's why I have not been nervous on any first dates because I really haven't been that into anyone I have met on here yet (here being the internet) |
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Not all men are made of tin with nerves of steel. A lot of them have the same insecurities and fears as a woman because they are human. They worry about what we are thinking just as much as we worry about what they are thinking.
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Many people get nervous meeting new people. I don't think that's a horrible thing. But, if a guy was so nervous that he couldn't act somewhat normal, or couldn't eat if we went out to a restaurant, that would be a bit much for me.
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Maybe it had been a while since he had been out with anyone and you blew his mind away.
It happens heck even I get nervous when I meet those from online.. Now let me walk into to a place and met someone for the first time and I don't have a problem. Mainly due to I'm not worried about first impressions when it happens random. 
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Ladies,
First, let me compliment the previous posters -- ladies, one and all -- on their compassion and understanding. Men, While these are great ladies, please notice that they did NOT say that this awkwardness and nervousness was an attractive trait. Confidence is probably the most important trait, according to the wikipedia page on dating (God, I love the internet, sometimes). Men tend to suck in their gut, stand/sit tall, and make good eye contact, when they feel they are being evaluated for a match. They speak clearly and express warmth and humor, avoiding negative commentary and especially avoiding self-deprecating humor. Being at ease is perhaps the best way of putting your date at ease. Watch your body language. Lean in, sometimes, keep your hands apart, watch for mirroring postures (a good thing), make eye contact, don't get caught looking at your watch or phone. Ask questions about her and don't drone on and on about how smart you are or how accomplished you are at your work. Although men cast a wider net and women are more selective, if you already have her sitting on the other side of the table, surface attributes become less important. A woman may remember the part of your hair or the wrinkles in your shirt, but she will remember more vividly how you made her feel. So if you're watching your watch, cell phone, or football game, but look like James Bond -- you blew it, anyway. Women -- Feel free to disagree; your opinion outranks mine. |
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Ladies, First, let me compliment the previous posters -- ladies, one and all -- on their compassion and understanding. Men, While these are great ladies, please notice that they did NOT say that this awkwardness and nervousness was an attractive trait. Confidence is probably the most important trait, according to the wikipedia page on dating (God, I love the internet, sometimes). Men tend to suck in their gut, stand/sit tall, and make good eye contact, when they feel they are being evaluated for a match. They speak clearly and express warmth and humor, avoiding negative commentary and especially avoiding self-deprecating humor. Being at ease is perhaps the best way of putting your date at ease. Watch your body language. Lean in, sometimes, keep your hands apart, watch for mirroring postures (a good thing), make eye contact, don't get caught looking at your watch or phone. Ask questions about her and don't drone on and on about how smart you are or how accomplished you are at your work. Although men cast a wider net and women are more selective, if you already have her sitting on the other side of the table, surface attributes become less important. A woman may remember the part of your hair or the wrinkles in your shirt, but she will remember more vividly how you made her feel. So if you're watching your watch, cell phone, or football game, but look like James Bond -- you blew it, anyway. Women -- Feel free to disagree; your opinion outranks mine.  No ones opinion outranks anyones. We all have an opinion some are just better then others....
This one pretty much hits the nail on the head so to speak!! |
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Edited by
Sandelwood4
on
Mon 09/26/11 12:18 PM
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Just because one man was nervous on a date with you, you are assuming all men are nervous? I don’t think you really believe that.
If a man is nervous I can only assume he is for the same reason a woman would be nervous. If I’m really attracted to someone I would probably be a little nervous myself. I think the problem may have been that you weren’t in to him. |
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I think its normal to be a bit nervous but not to the point that a person can't eat. I know I prefer a man with confidence; so being a nervous wreck would put me off.
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Ladies, First, let me compliment the previous posters -- ladies, one and all -- on their compassion and understanding. Men, While these are great ladies, please notice that they did NOT say that this awkwardness and nervousness was an attractive trait. Confidence is probably the most important trait, according to the wikipedia page on dating (God, I love the internet, sometimes). Men tend to suck in their gut, stand/sit tall, and make good eye contact, when they feel they are being evaluated for a match. They speak clearly and express warmth and humor, avoiding negative commentary and especially avoiding self-deprecating humor. Being at ease is perhaps the best way of putting your date at ease. Watch your body language. Lean in, sometimes, keep your hands apart, watch for mirroring postures (a good thing), make eye contact, don't get caught looking at your watch or phone. Ask questions about her and don't drone on and on about how smart you are or how accomplished you are at your work. Although men cast a wider net and women are more selective, if you already have her sitting on the other side of the table, surface attributes become less important. A woman may remember the part of your hair or the wrinkles in your shirt, but she will remember more vividly how you made her feel. So if you're watching your watch, cell phone, or football game, but look like James Bond -- you blew it, anyway. Women -- Feel free to disagree; your opinion outranks mine.
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Yep it sure did put me off! I guess it's because I am so independent that I assume men should be too. So much for assumptions!
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Well, like Lowered wrote, it's a confidence thing, mostly. Probably a self-esteem issue too. I personally don't have problems with someone who is nervous, if he or she is honest about it. That's probably why I can be an extrovert well enough to make people comfortable. Get them to relax, and they'll get over being nervous.
A lot of it is family upbringing. Someone who was shy, yelled at for it, or in general etc. will be more obviously nervous then others. It's a lot of why I prefer people with animals, who are comfortable with them. You can't really be nervous around animals, because they'll getting upset themselves. Cool confidence wins every day. After all, nervous up on a 1200lb horse could get ya killed. And we won't even go into cattle and their reactions. 
It's what gets people in trouble with dog bites. |
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Yep it sure did put me off! I guess it's because I am so independent that I assume men should be too. So much for assumptions! Yep, that was my thinking too. Although my indpendence makes guys nervous. 
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Ladies, First, let me compliment the previous posters -- ladies, one and all -- on their compassion and understanding. Men, While these are great ladies, please notice that they did NOT say that this awkwardness and nervousness was an attractive trait. Confidence is probably the most important trait, according to the wikipedia page on dating (God, I love the internet, sometimes). Men tend to suck in their gut, stand/sit tall, and make good eye contact, when they feel they are being evaluated for a match. They speak clearly and express warmth and humor, avoiding negative commentary and especially avoiding self-deprecating humor. Being at ease is perhaps the best way of putting your date at ease. Watch your body language. Lean in, sometimes, keep your hands apart, watch for mirroring postures (a good thing), make eye contact, don't get caught looking at your watch or phone. Ask questions about her and don't drone on and on about how smart you are or how accomplished you are at your work. Although men cast a wider net and women are more selective, if you already have her sitting on the other side of the table, surface attributes become less important. A woman may remember the part of your hair or the wrinkles in your shirt, but she will remember more vividly how you made her feel. So if you're watching your watch, cell phone, or football game, but look like James Bond -- you blew it, anyway. Women -- Feel free to disagree; your opinion outranks mine. I would prefer he be himself and if he was nervous to say so - in that perhaps we could chat about that and put him at ease if I feel he is saying things or acting a certain way just to make a good impression, I am not sure how I'd feel - prolly appreciate that making a good impression on me is important, but at the same time wonder what he is "really like" And now, you have me wondering if this is why I always run home from first dates as soon as politely possible and heave a huge sigh of relief that it's over.... I am not really the type that people are usually nervous around....anyway |
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Well, like Lowered wrote, it's a confidence thing, mostly. Probably a self-esteem issue too. I personally don't have problems with someone who is nervous, if he or she is honest about it. That's probably why I can be an extrovert well enough to make people comfortable. Get them to relax, and they'll get over being nervous. A lot of it is family upbringing. Someone who was shy, yelled at for it, or in general etc. will be more obviously nervous then others. It's a lot of why I prefer people with animals, who are comfortable with them. You can't really be nervous around animals, because they'll getting upset themselves. Cool confidence wins every day. After all, nervous up on a 1200lb horse could get ya killed. And we won't even go into cattle and their reactions.
It's what gets people in trouble with dog bites. exactly!!! want to see if someone is decent, go to a petting zoo for a first date. if all the animals are freaking out around them then find someone else. but if the animals are all around them and wanting attention then they can't be too bad. |
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interesting thought
I was always suspicious of people who my youngest child and my cat did not like (my dog did not like anyone - his opinion therefore did not count) |
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Well, like Lowered wrote, it's a confidence thing, mostly. Probably a self-esteem issue too. I personally don't have problems with someone who is nervous, if he or she is honest about it. That's probably why I can be an extrovert well enough to make people comfortable. Get them to relax, and they'll get over being nervous. A lot of it is family upbringing. Someone who was shy, yelled at for it, or in general etc. will be more obviously nervous then others. It's a lot of why I prefer people with animals, who are comfortable with them. You can't really be nervous around animals, because they'll getting upset themselves. Cool confidence wins every day. After all, nervous up on a 1200lb horse could get ya killed. And we won't even go into cattle and their reactions. exactly!!! want to see if someone is decent, go to a petting zoo for a first date. if all the animals are freaking out around them then find someone else. but if the animals are all around them and wanting attention then they can't be too bad. It's what gets people in trouble with dog bites. That theory about animals or kids doesn't work as both seem to like me but I sure don't feel the same way. Obviously kids and pets don't have the sense to know I am not comfortable around either. So much for that theory. |
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Why the hell are men so nervous when you do go meet them? I mean for God's sake you are on here to meet women. The one guy I met for a "Meet and Greet" says: "I am so nervous I don't even know if I can eat in front of you"! Give me a break. I had to pat him on the shoulder and tell him to relax while I went to the ladies room. I was like hey - I am down to earth and just be yourself. We did make it through the meal; however, didn't meet again.
well some women play hell on a men's brain....I know that after some of the dates I've had I should be a little nervous myself. |
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