As I have posted about here before, I have known a girl for just about a year now, and we are very very close. We talk on a daily basis pretty much, and have grown to care a lot about each other. We're basically best friends, and for both of us, if we were not a part of the others' life, there would be a void. Life just would not be the same without each other in it. That's how much our friendship means to each other, as much as we may argue, as unexciting as it may be at times, there's something very special about what we have. As others come and go.....we remain, there's much to be said for that.

I can't imagine life without her, and the longer this goes on, the more I realize I really truly love her. It's becoming not just a feeling anymore, but something concrete and real. I see her through all we've gone through, through all that's changed, through everything good and bad about her, and I love her just the same. I would tend to think if asked, she would say something similar to that.

I really don't want anyone else. I can't see myself caring for someone......like I care about her.

But there's a problem. In short, she is deathly afraid of losing me as a friend if we tried this and it didn't work out. For her......she'd rather have me as a friend and wonder what if, than not have me in her life at all.

I do understand that, but.....I'd always wonder what may have been, if we didn't give this a chance. I don't wanna let this get away, if in fact it is meant to be as I feel it very well might be. I can't force her to give it a shot at the same time but......I feel I have to know or else I'd go through life thinking "what if".

Now I should add we have yet to meet, and I don't know when we would be able to, nor how that would change things for her when we did. It very well could make things a lot different, but as it stands now this is where we are.

Thoughts and opinions?

This just doesn't right to me. Almost as if she is hiding something.
She should by now feel the same way as you do about meeting each other .Good luck.Hope it all works out for you

I don't think that's the case, I mean we communicate about things, and she knows where I am at here. She also understands we have a special relationship, it's just she has that fear of losing that.

As for meeting, well it's mainly cause she's pretty busy. She works quite a bit, and in the fall she's gonna take a few classes to be a nurse's assistant. Finally, she also lives with her sister right now, which sort of complicates it a bit more. So the timing isn't exactly ideal right now.

with friends, we tend to accept each other as we are because we dont have a DIRECT dependence upon each other like we do in a committed relationship

I understand your friends point of view completely. I would suggest not pushing the relationship angle and continue to let the FRIENDSHIP progress naturally. Respect her comfort zone.

IF you truly cant imagine not being in each others life. than continue to do that. IF you eventually need something more, than dont rule out the 'unimaginable' possibility that the person who feels the same will cross your path.

Thing is, I don't wanna be just friends. I want more. I love her, I really do. While being her friend is nice on it's own......I want more.

Early on I was infatuated, she had me back off.....and things progressed to where we are now from that. We've gone through a lot, and we're about as close now as we've ever been for that. I'm not the only one that feels the connection.

I know I can't force her to give me a chance though, but.....it's hard for me right now.

what about just waiting until ya meet in person...
don't put expectations out there
stay open to all possibilities
be grateful the universe has sent this
wonderful person into your life

everything will fall into place as it should

Yeah I guess the meeting will change things....it's just hard cause I can feel how close we are despite being a state apart you know? Maybe I'm taking what we do have now for granted in anticipation of the future, and not enjoying this time as much as I ought to be......

^^^ This may be why she is stand-offish. She hasn't met you yet, and vice versa. Adding romantic intentions now may ruin a friendship. Yet if you meet, and find there is no attraction in person, you still have the friendship....as long as you don't put the cart before the horse.

Good point, guess I gotta relearn how to back off all over again lol.

When your best friend failed her math test, you helped her study for the next one and she did better. When she got rejected by the guy she liked, you encouraged her to find a new crush. But now her brother died unexpectedly and, well…you have NO idea how to handle this one.

There is a term for this its called "the friend zone" once there, there is no escape. You can either continue to be her friend and have an unrequited love or have her as a friend and move on. She really is telling you no in more words than needed.

Dude, there is a chance that she really values your friendship, however she may not see you as a life partner type and could be avoiding hurting you emotionally by saying so....If she has already stated she doesnt want to risk losing you as a friend if you were to move forward than chances are she doesnt want to move forward in that direction.....Sorry...Good luck...

Boy, isn't love something. However it turns out you will move on and learn some valuable things about your heart. Getting that special love in return is wonderful. It's as wonderful as seeing her happy and that's really what you want. She will either come to you, or you will learn to let her know how much you love her without pushing her away forever if the love between you is as deep as you think it is.

Don't be hard on yourself though. Love will have it's way.

I am trying to be as patient as I can, but for someone who tends to wear their heart on their sleeve, it is hard. I think she is coming around a little bit to what we have more, we've had a few talks about it some yet, and the last time when I asked her if she wanted to try this, she said not yet, which would indicate eventually she will be willing to give it a shot I am thinking, just now isn't the time yet.

She's also remarked about the idea of taking breaks from talking (which actually led to the conversation in which she said not yet when asked if she wanted to give this a shot), but then said she didn't think she could stay away very long, that she'd miss me too much. Also has said that if we stopped talking, she'd probably cry. So......for what that may be worth.

I think really the one thing standing in the way is not having met yet, that's the last step really in this I think. Once that happens we'll know for certain what we have even more than we do now.

Whatever happens though, I know one thing. No other girl has EVER given me the feeling I have with her. To where, no matter what, I still love her. No one.

I really have a feeling this may well be it for me based on that. But shall see.

That is very nice. It sounds as though your love for her is very true. Perhaps then your patience will show her how strong you really feel

Well, here's my thought on the entire situation:

I have been in your friend's situation, and honestly, I had a special relationship with one of my guy friends. We could talk about everything, we could be affectionate, and yes, we did love one another. However, I didn't want to take the chance, I didn't want to loose our special relationship, as it was dear to me.

Basically, he started to push the relationship aspect, and it was hard to think about it when I was told how much I was loved, and how much I was needed. Don't get me wrong, terribly romantic and loving, but I was absolutely terrified of loosing that relationship.

The crappy part is that I did, in fact, lose that relationship. It didn't work out, and... Yeah.

I know you care about her, and you love her, but it's the matter that she needs to decide if she's truly willing to take that risk or not. It's a hard choice, I had to make it and it was hard to see this relationship transform before my eyes.

Just let her think about it, let her consider if she's really willing to take that risk, and if she's not... She's not.

Story time, with the Biscuit!

I had a Lady friend for 2 years, my best friend, best Girl in the world, couldn't ever fault her.

I love her dearly, yes I still love her. That's just how brilliant she is, and has been to me.

Now for the interesting part

One day I was on a high, so I just went out right, and asked her, for the Boy friend possibility.

She just said no, and wasn't best pleased about it (angry face! )

I continued to talk to her, and she told me, she would never rule out dating me. But I should try, and go on a few dates, with other people first. I agreed.

So, now we are both, back to being, good best friends.

Later on she comes to me all sad and depressed, like I have never seen before. I comfort her, and then she tells me she loves me, and never wants to let me go.

I said to her, I will always be there for her. But I made an agreement with her.

We have agreed to give each other time, to grow up, and develop as people. But never be to far from the other in our hearts.

All we have to do, is look at the stars, to feel the others love.

Happy story, or not? I will let you decide

Hope I've helped in some way. Good luck!

Can you deal with just being her friend? If so, then you might be better off sucking it up and forget about dating her.

If you can't deal with just being her friend, then tell her that.

Sorry to hear you had that type of experience, that must have been very difficult. I'd like to think that if we tried it and it didn't work, we could go back to being friends like we are now, but guess it's hard to say for sure.

I don't wanna push her though I really don't, just a challenge balancing my own emotions in this and giving her the space to make sense of it herself too.

Sounds wonderfully complicated to me. But then wonderfully complicated is how my life can get. I think that would fall into unrequited love.