Why do you suppose our minds immediately place the responsibility on those OUTSIDE the relationship?

Isnt it more accurate to say that people leave for 'themself'?

truly did brad pitt leave jennifer FOR Angolina?

or did he leave because whatever he 'missed' in one relationship he 'found' in another,, FOR HIMSELF

and he thought(possibly correctly and possibly not) that he would rather have the one 'for himself' instead of the other?


I understand holding people responsible for their PART in seducing or persuading others to stray, but why isnt the person in the relationship the one to get the MAIN stigma?

Why should the one in the relationship get the full force of the blame when the one outside the relationship knows they are in a relationship....

All I can say at times the one that gets blamed is the one that is left to pick up the pieces which is bs........

I agree, no ONE is completely to 'blame', but I just wonder why the MAIN one stigmatized is usually the 'other' instead of the one in the commitment who broke their word,,,

Eff em both it takes two to tango.

because it's harder to hate someone that you have loved for years...JMHO

You are right.
Blaming the third party is
pretty instinctive.

Righteous, if they knew.
Innocent if they did not.
Blame the cheater.
You never know what really
goes on behind closed doors.

The way I look at it is the one in the relationship that broke that trust should take the butt of the blame. The one outside of the relationship if they really care for that person should stand back and make the other make that finally decision to leave if they really love them. Normally truth is the one in a relationship has no desire to leave they just want the best of both worlds.... the biggest part of the time the one they are with when all **** hits the fan they do not stay with them long... Instead they are off to yet another they can conquer....

In reality one can not take something or someone if that person's heart is in the right place.....

The person IN the relationship is the one at fault..HE/SHE knows who they are with..it is THEIR responsibility to be faithful to that person..Why should "John" or "Jane" have to turn you away..You're an adult..no one can make you stay OR go.

Obviously he was getting something on the outside that he wasn't getting on the inside. Or visa versa.

Here is the question I pose here. Why not end one relationship if you want to pursue another? I mean, why go through the whole cheater stigma ordeal? If you aren't happy with the one you are with, why the hell put them through more than just a breakup? A break up is tough enough on its' own. Why add cheating to that? Makes no sense.

Anyways, I feel that both participants in the cheating do get the stigma of it. If it's a woman on the outside, she is labeled a home wrecker, slut, whore, etc. If it is a dude, he is a whore, pig, blah, blah, blah. The person in the relationship, be it man or woman, will be looked at as weak, a terrible person, mean, slut, blah, blah, blah. All parties get some label. It's never pretty. And it shouldn't be.

I find that cheating is so common now that people are becoming desensitized to it. And that worries me. People should care about relationships. They should care about doing all they can in them to make them stronger. Sad truth is that people give up too easily. And cheating has become an easy way out.

I agree completely..


It is easy to be swayed away by words and actions, i think its just staying commited,

You will always have people interested in you, so you just have to stay true, be friends love your friends but only have one man or woman, it cant be any other way.. Otherwise you will just go from one to the next forever, There will always be someone who is nice and you could love, but you married or got with the first person for the same reason..
Well thats just my opinion

It is always your own choice if you play up, its not anyone elses fault

i'll just go with what goof typed

exactly

I imagine that Brad left for Angelina for reasons of his own that are no one else's business

when you find love - one is compelled to follow - u can slam a bus into love . and it won't slow it down

not that I recommend that...

Sometimes I write good stuff that others should follow.

Ditto...........what gets me is when some try to say that it is due to not getting what they want at home.... regardless what it is why give them excuses for the wrong they are doing?

Thats true, but cant you tell the person you are with, after you are hit by the bus, but before they take you to hospital and get you into bed..

that would be a good idea

unfortunately people are often human in their errors

but I think most good people wiil try to end one relationship before starting another

but I tell y'all love can make ya crazy as sh1te - be careful on the judegement trail here is all i can advise

maybe he wanted kids, and Jennifer didn't..

Nah I wont judge, I just find it hard to understand,
I guess because i couldnt imagine loving one man and then going home to another, i would be driven crazy with guilt..

Hmmm and I would get nervious and start to giggle, and then they would know for sure that I was up to something..