I have the feeling that some people may view my profile and dismiss me because I am separated. There are some people, who I am interested in, that won't allow me to send them an email because, technically, I am married. I am in the process of getting a divorce and wanted people's thoughts on the matter. Will listing myself as divorced, once it's finalized, improve my results on mingle?

Both men and women don't want to be involved in the drama of someone going through the divorce proceedings. There are some on here who are separated and not going through a divorce (and from being on here and reading posts) people are afraid of any remote chance of a reunion and don't want to get hurt.

Makes sense...

That's really hard to answer for myself. I've been seperated nearly 4 years come this July (2007). So, technically I'm still married & never wanted to lie & mislead anyone. I really have no plans to divorce for my own personal reasons. Haven't spoken to my ex since November 2007. I'm now in a relationship & not looking. But, stick around for the entertainment & good friends!!

Little goatie! Too cute. I am separated. Still technically married with no possibility of reconciliation. That has to do more with property than the relationship. That's why I was only asking for pen pals. Some magical things have happened nonetheless.

Well duh, ive had the misfortune of dating a separated woman, its pretty immoral i think to date or do anything with anyone elses husband or wife...

Each to his own.

Happy for you, Artlo

My status is Separated. Am still on the process of having our marriage annulled (no divorce here in my country) and though the ground for annullment is very strong, process here takes a lot of time. I have been separated for almost 4years now (mutually agreed to go our separate lives for good) and I'd say my status has not been an issue with my current man.

And how would you feel about dating a divorced woman, melon? Does being married once spoil you forever or does a piece of paper that says, "divorced" make it OK for you to love/be loved?

I am so happy for you Axl.

Thanks my friend. Wish you the best

When I left my ex, we were separated for around 3 years. I moved into my own place. My reasons for not filing were strictly financial--there was never a chance of reconciliation. I was honest with my dates, and never had a problem with it. I think it depends on the people involved and what they are looking for at the time. It worked for me then, but now that I've been divorced for quite a few years and looking for something more long-term, I tend to steer clear of men who are separated.

I guess for me it would depend on the man.
I would not want to be involved with anyone who still wondered why he and his ex split or was still hopeing they might get back together, but that would be the same with an ex girlfriend as well.
Noone wants to have to compete with an ex.

But if the man was emotionally over his then that would be fine.

I was separated for 3 years....neither of us could be bothered going through the whole divorce thing...the children and property settlement were enough of a drama!


I think in the US they have a more rigid outlook than we do here Josie..


and isn't a divorced person still someone's ex wife or husband?

in this day and age, there are truly people into just about everything

Im sure if there are women who specifically go after MARRIED Men, there are also women who dont mind that a man is not yet divorced

on this site, when the topic comes up in threads, it seems the overwhelming judgment is that married under ANY Circumstance is off limits,,, I understand and respect that opinion although I dont judge the seperated folks that harshly because I know personally how crap happens that causes people to remain documented as a couple even though they have truly gone their seperate ways

I just plan to wait until I am divorced, to avoid all the guess work and any potential insecurity that the label of 'married' might cause another and to try to set the best example for my own daughter

JC. I am separated (for almost a year). It is listed on my profile, but I added into it that there is no chance of reconciliation. But we have a young son together so I noted that we will stay friends. It has not hurt my chances. But I believe alot of men see that differently than women. So just for your own sake if there is NO CHANCE of reconciliation , you might want to write just a small bit about that. Like it has been noted before, some a re afraid of getting hurt.
I've been separated for almost a year, and have already had one relationship found on mingle. Just make sure your ready for a relationship, Divorces are tough enough.
Oh and on your comment about does divorce pretty much make you "damaged goods" I would say NO, just wiser and maybe with alot more insight.
Welcome to mingle my friend.
Join us in the community forums,and make new friends.

Yep they do, I was seperated for 5 years before I could be bothered going and getting a divorce and it only took a few weeks to get in and then I had to wait 30 days before i could remarry, which I havent, so it was no hassel.

I think the honesty of using 'separated'
outweighs the negativity of it.
Does not bother me at all.
What goes through my mind is, goodo,
maybe they will go SLOW.

I think you are right.

But there is two strata of singles who will date a person who is going to go through the throes of a divorce:

1. People who are really desparate;
2. People who have a very good sense of humour, and want to watch the show unfold, as they cheer you on with the divorce from the sidelines. This type tends to leave you the moment you get your walking papers from the marriage.

Once I dated two separate women.