Noone likes to be given the ax because of an ex.

I love these laws drawn up by insane lawmakers.

What's the thirty days for? Is it some sort of an emotional=social quarantine, to make sure you won't infect another person with the divorce bacterium?


And why the 30 days? Because social diseases break out in 20 days in others you infect, so 30 is a pretty safe number? Or because 30 ensures that fertile women have at least one period to pass before they can be safely married again?

In America it is illegal to gun down someone, but everyone has the right to bear arms... to gun down what? Dogs? That's even more against the law.

In most countries there are free elections, but you go home with blooded clothing and with a hole in your head if you dare to show your face anywhere near a polling booth.

In most countries there are free electrons, but if you want to buy and electric car, you pay for it through the nose.

"The world is my laughing stock", is my motto. Since I am past the age and the opportunites for it to be my oyster.

I am one of those people who would not be interested in dating someone who is separated. Finish/get out of one relationship before starting another, otherwise there will be always some kind of drama going on, whether it's the possibility of getting back together, financial, or whatever other reasons you have for still being separated.

To me it's just a piece of paper. I am through with my marriage & have been for some time. Haven't spoken for 3.5 years. We were married 21 years. No contact at all. As far as I'm concerned I'm done. When we split I went through 2 years of rehab/counseling (drug & alcohol addiction) & just had too much on my plate to deal with it at the time. I did file once & wasn't notified of the court date because I'd moved & left a forwarding address that they must have lost in the shuffle. My ex nor I appeared for the court hearing & it was dropped. By the time I'd found out the time had already lapsed for an appeal. In my ex's religion even though we're seperated he'd be blackballed in his church & family to go through with the divorce. Since I have no intention of remarrying I see no reason to push the issue. I took my car that I'd paid for & my personal belongings such as clothes when I left & never asked or expected more. I also verbally gave up custody of my 16 year old son knowing I couldn't care for him at the time. Now, if a man can't deal with & respect my reasoning he can go find someone else. Luckily I've found someone who respects & understands why I've held back in getting a divorce.

I'm sure everyone who chooses to stay separated, rather than getting divorced, has their reasons for it. I just choose not to be in a relationship with someone who is still technically married. As long as you've found someone who doesn't have a problem with you being separated, that's all that matters, right?

In a sense, yes. But, I have had some judge me because I'm still married & view it as cheating. I can honestly say during the 21 years we were together I was never with another man. Not until after we were seperated. I can't live in a dark corner because of my ex's religion. I'm not dead yet! lol

Don't forget people who are open minded and do not put a limit to their horizons.

Being separated grants people the opportunity to have their cake and eat it too. Unfortunately, it causes unnecessary pain.

I say nuts to that.
Get your own life.

Also, there is a legal term called "Default" where after a given period of time, you don't have to wait for the other party to sign and return the papers. This I learned about from one of my own attorneys over 20 years ago.

Guess what, even if you're separated, shacked up with someone else and living in a community state, you're putting yourself in double jeapordy.

You are the one who has chosen to stay separated, rather than getting a divorce, so you really shouldn't be surprised if people are not interested in dealing with that. But again, if you're fine with being separated and the person you're with is fine with it, then the rest don't really matter.

I dont have any cake,, heck, I dont even have any sugar...lol

my 'ex' and I are on different continents and although I havent seen him in TWO YEARS, he refuses to assist at all in the divorce and I dont have the money and time to invest in seeking him out and filing for a divorce across continents, add to that we have a child together which makes the divorce much less 'simple'......and there you have why IM still just 'seperated'


much less about cake, much more about time, money, and effort,,,,I havent had enough of the three to pursue the legal documentation but we are by no means TOGETHER nor will ever be

I think the ones you mention belong to group 1.

But present company is always excepted. You're okay if I am okay.

"Default".

no default in this case would prevent me from needing MONEY, TIME, and EFFORT,, which I dont have

Sort of begs the question. Give yourself time and a goal. Oh, and shop.

Yep, you are absolutely correct in what you say.

I can understand that getting divorced can be expensive. But, I can't understand not wanting to put time and effort into getting out of a relationship that you're finished with.

Id love to put in time and effort, but I dont have enough left because my priority is taking care of my family which takes up most of my time and effort and ALL of my money

I do plan, when I am in a better economic situation and better able to balance my families NEEDS ,,,to start on the divorce, but now my priority(family) is taking all I have,,,

Finding an attorney that won't cost you the equivalent of the national debt can be daunting. That's why I said, "Oh, and shop".

Taking care of "family" is a priority as is taking care of one's self.

u aint kidding,,lol

throw in the fact of being on seperate continentes(jurisdictional issues) and having a child (Custody issues) and the marriage taking place in a foreign land (obtaining documentation issues)


and it easily becomes the cost of TWO national debts,,,lol

If he is Saudi Arabia, and you live in China, or move there, then you'll get a free divorce.