Topic: Friends of the opposite sex....ok for women but not for men?
eileena9's photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:44 PM

i've never cheated in a relationship. never. call every woman but my main squeeze "ma'am"....just fyi. i dont put myself in a position to be attracted to someone else. cant say the same for my previous s.o.'s. and yet when i simply test them to see how they would react, they dont like it one bit.


"that's different."


Why do you feel you have to go out and meet someone new to "prove" anything???? If you don't feel they are being faithful, break off the relationship.whoa

no photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:44 PM
Oh, okay. Well, you need to decide which is more important, your friendships with the other women, or your relationship with her.

no photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:44 PM

see, i know what the women here likely think. you're thinking that men are a one way street with women. because of that, you believe that you are much more likely to be able to resist a male friend's advances....than a man can resist advancing on a female friend of his own. that's just not the way it is. whether my female friend is attractive or not, or whether i met them after the fact is irrelevant.


Have you forgotten what you wrote in your OP? You're the one who said you rarely make female friends and then gave us the reason why might.

There seems to be a general assumption that it is completely acceptable for a woman in a relationship to have friends of the opposite sex and to spend time with those friends accordingly. However, put the shoe on the other foot, and I have never had a significant other that was comfortable with me having friends of the opposite sex.

And I rarely do. Face it, if I'm not in a position to pursue romance with you, or in such case, I'm not attracted to you, the interest to hang with you is just not there. The only time I ever make a friend of the opposite sex, is when I need to set an example to a significant other that they are getting too close to another man.

In that case, it's very easy to make quick friends with very attractive, fit women that will make my significant other uncomfortable.
They always tell me "that's different!". Then they sulk for days, and cut back on spending time with those male friends, or they end the relationship and wind up with the male friend.

I'm told women feel this way, because men are such a one way street with women. My point is, if they know that men are indeed such a one way street, is their intent in hanging with male friends not to test the waters relationshipwise? Thoughts?


That doesn't really seem like friends, does it? You're doing it solely for the purpose to make someone you're dating feel uncomfortable.

no photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:45 PM


i've never cheated in a relationship. never. call every woman but my main squeeze "ma'am"....just fyi. i dont put myself in a position to be attracted to someone else. cant say the same for my previous s.o.'s. and yet when i simply test them to see how they would react, they dont like it one bit.


"that's different."


Why do you feel you have to go out and meet someone new to "prove" anything???? If you don't feel they are being faithful, break off the relationship.whoa


Thank you. You've put it so well.

kevinlovett1976's photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:46 PM
because i believe in seeing everything through to the end, and when talking doesnt work, the only way to make someone understand is to put them in the same situation.

no photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:47 PM

i've never cheated in a relationship. never. call every woman but my main squeeze "ma'am"....just fyi. i dont put myself in a position to be attracted to someone else. cant say the same for my previous s.o.'s. and yet when i simply test them to see how they would react, they dont like it one bit.


"that's different."


Why do you feel the need to play games and test them? That is different than just being friends with the opposite sex.

no photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:47 PM
So you don't believe in breaking up? Fine then, give her what she wants and stop being friends with other women. Problem solved.

eileena9's photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:48 PM
Edited by eileena9 on Tue 04/12/11 08:50 PM
No....that's the childish way "you hit me with a Tonka truck so I am going to hit you with my sand pail!!!"


The adult way would be to tell her you don't think things are working out and breaking it off right away. That is seeing it through to the end....it already ended if she is looking elsewhere.

no photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:50 PM

No....that's the childish way "you hit me with a Tonka truck so I am going to hit you with my sand pail!!!"


The adult way would be to tell her you don't think things are working out and breaking it off right away. That is seeing it through to the end....it already ended if she is looking elsewhere.


I don't think he wants to break up.

fireflysgirl's photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:50 PM
so if one has insecurities about a gfs male friends it is okay to play immature games in an attempt to make her jealous seems like the question here? or did i miss something?


kevinlovett1976's photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:51 PM
this is why our culture is perverted the way that it is. working a problem out is seen as childish. moving from one person to the next to the next to the next is seen as mature. mmm hmmm.

no photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:51 PM

so if one has insecurities about a gfs male friends it is okay to play immature games in an attempt to make her jealous seems like the question here? or did i miss something?




No, I think it's just okay for guys to do that.

kevinlovett1976's photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:52 PM
and somehow they all remain single. i shall say no more.

eileena9's photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:52 PM


No....that's the childish way "you hit me with a Tonka truck so I am going to hit you with my sand pail!!!"


The adult way would be to tell her you don't think things are working out and breaking it off right away. That is seeing it through to the end....it already ended if she is looking elsewhere.


I don't think he wants to break up.


Then asking if she wants to stay together and is willing to go talk with a councilor to help strengthen the relationship is the way to fix it....not going out and meeting someone else.

kevinlovett1976's photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:52 PM
and somehow they all remain single. i shall say no more.

eileena9's photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:53 PM

and somehow they all remain single. i shall say no more.


Try again....I'm not single.....

kevinlovett1976's photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:55 PM
and youre on a dating website?!?! ahhhhh f*** me!!! i quit.

no photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:55 PM

this is why our culture is perverted the way that it is. working a problem out is seen as childish. moving from one person to the next to the next to the next is seen as mature. mmm hmmm.


So, how does playing games and testing your girlfriend show that you're mature and working on a problem?

fireflysgirl's photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:56 PM

and somehow they all remain single. i shall say no more.


yes and so because we choose not to play these games and break the eff up with men that do

no photo
Tue 04/12/11 08:56 PM
Well, from what I'm seeing, your way isn't working out, right? All you're doing is pissing her off, correct? And as for going from person to person, I don't see anything wrong with that, if you're seeking a specific trait in a person- especially maturity. I do however, see a problem with staying with someone you're obviously not happy with, just because it's "what you do." People break up all the time, it happens. And I don't consider that a "perversion of culture" I consider it common sense. If something isn't working, you end it and hopefully find something that does.

And as for people remaining single, you're assuming everyone wants to be in a relationship. Um, no, I'm quite happy single and I'm soo not looking to change that. But thanks for the intended barb. Nice try and better luck next time. :tongue: