How do you NOT be a jealous person? I've found that I can be quite a jealous person and I hate it.

For instance, today I hung out with my good friend Heather. She's got an amazing boyfriend/fiance, she's expecting a baby in 2 months and she has a job that pays well and that she enjoys. I have none of that. I can't seem to get any of that.

I walked away from hanging out with her happy that I was able to spend time with her, but insanely jealous of her too 'cause she has what I don't.

Another example, I frequent a dueling piano bar. I LOVE to play the piano, but I'm no where near as good as the folks at the bar are and I most likely never will be. But, I see how much money they make and everything they have and it just makes me jealous.

How do you not be jealous?

You have to remember the old "grass is always greener" saying. Heather is probably jealous of you. And it may be just a matter of confidence with the piano dueling. Just know that there are people jealous of your life too. Makes it easier to be happy for your friends.

I stay humble... I don't think that what others have I should have.. I'm happy when people are happy.. I may not have everything that I want or desire but I don't begrudge others for having what makes them happy... I think it's all in controlling how you act, what you think.. Spoiled people begrudge others for being happy, that's not cool or nice, they need to get over themselves and understand that the world does not revolve around them...

Really though, disregard what you've heard.

You have to pretend that you're not.

Otherwise the person you're obsessing over wouldn't care.

...

I think it's ok to be a little jealous. As long as it doesn't turn into a resentment. A lot of times it'll make you strive for what you want!

I am completely happy for my friend Heather. I really am.

And believe me, I'm not spoiled. I've had to work hard, very hard, for everything that I have and I realize the world doesn't revolve around me.

I just hate being so materialistic and I wish I wasn't. I wish I could be happy with what I have, and I guess, most of the time I am. I just have days where I get really jealous of what others have that I don't.

Don't dwell on the negatives.
Think positive.

There is always something amazing about someone and confidence helps tremendously.

That's what my friends tell me. I need to work on my confidence.

We all have our days.. There's nothing wrong with that... Just believe in YOU and that you're waiting for someone special.. Not settling isn't "wrong" it's saving the love you have for someone that deserves it and that you can give it to for the long haul..

We all want to be the best but sometimes to be the best at any one thing means dedicating yourself wholly to that pursuit. That never sat well with me since I have so many different interests. I cannot dedicate myself utterly to one thing. I am very good at some things, decent at others, a few things I cannot do, others I will not do. If anything I am very good at being versatile and adaptable. It isn't making me rich but it is keeping me afloat sort of.

This isn't a perfect world.

Life plays favorites.

That's why there is Punk Rock!

WELL SAID!!

When you turn your focus inward, then you will become more confident and less jealous.

Generally, it isn't the material things that make us jealous (sometimes, but not always).... it's that feeling of complishment of saving and finally getting that new car.... or the feeling of satisfaction in having a family and marriage.

But, what you see on the outside always looks better....
Either that fancy car someone is driving is leased or
They ate only PB&J sandwiches for dinner for months.

While friends are over, your friends husband is on his best behavior,
But little do you know last night he refused to get up and feed the baby at 4 am.

You never quite know what's behind the shiney new things.... or well put together facade.

Again, when you focus on yourself....
truly soul search....
change things about yourself you don't like....
enhance traits and skills you do like.....
Love and like yourself....

You will be amazed at how happy you can be.... with or without the glitz and glamour.

I don't think confidence is related to jealousy as much as being spoiled and feeling a sense of entitlement toward things/people/situations...

you don't know other peoples situations, only what you project about them from what you see...

I think a little jealousy (small amounts) is normal, I think constant jealousy is an indicator someone is a spoiled brat!

$.02

Its quite a conundrum. I can remember my ex being mad at me because I did not show jealousy of her. I guess I was just naive and trusted her. She never gave me reason not to trust her. But what we had was compatibility till the compatibility ran out. But I have been jealous of women I have been infatuated with. Thats fascinates me. I don't why that is. I think the second thing you mentioned is actually envy. I have been envious of what others had but then if I want something bad enough I have been in the position to earn it if I really want it bad enough. Come to think of it I think the first thing you mentioned is envy, too. I guess jealousy and envy are sort of alike in that respect.

For me it's a matter of perspective. If you've ever been to a third world country, and had the opportunity to experience the locals who get by and manage to be content, despite the fact that by our western standards are very very poor, it forces us to gain a healthy appreciation for our own life.

There's always someone who's worse off than us...

If you have your health, you have everything. imo

Just a friendly suggestion but volunteer work (of almost any type) does wonders for the soul and spirit that way.

As for jealousy, it's a normal human (and animal) reaction but it can be overcome with a change in perspective.

Remember the story about the dog with the bone? He didn't want his reflection to have a bone too so he barked to complain and lost his own bone in the process...

I've discovered that a random poke sends a subtle reminder quite nicely.j/k

What always amazes me is that those that are jealous of the lives that others have. Really have no idea of what they really have because they are too worried what another has. Therefore they don't see what they indeed have themselves....


No ones life is perfect, even if it looks as if it is on the surface they may indeed be wishing at times their life was more simple.

So instead of dwelling what others have you do not. You should really look at what you have that others would love to have cause they don't have it.

We tend to seek for the ultimate goal and get lost within those goals and fail to see what we really have....


We need to learn to appreciate what we have first in order to enjoy the things ahead.