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| Topic: Spank or no Spank? happier children or smarter children? | |
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no offense, but I truly believe that if enough studies are done and psychologists dig deep enough...eventually, we'll be raised by our children...just sayin'...  lol,, good point,,,the psych field really is politically and culturally motivated, in my opinion everything is politically and culturally motivated in one way or another...lol possibly, but medicine and health shouldnt be |
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no offense, but I truly believe that if enough studies are done and psychologists dig deep enough...eventually, we'll be raised by our children...just sayin'... lol,, good point,,,the psych field really is politically and culturally motivated, in my opinion everything is politically and culturally motivated in one way or another...lol possibly, but medicine and health shouldnt be i dont believe that politics should be in science and medicine...but why would you say that you wouldnt want culture? |
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lol...I was raised in a Southern Baptist family and went to church every time the doors were open...EVERY adult was my parent in one way or another so I was taught to respect authority at an early age. Yes, I got spanked...I also was taught self restraint and loves unconditionally!!
Later in life , when I was struggling through depression, the docs wanted to slap me on medicine and dig through my childhood (because something MUST have been traumatic for me as a child)...after I left that session, I was mad at my mom, dad, brother, sister and dog!! I eventually became a counselor at a drug and alcohol rehab facility for adolescent children and was amazed at how much medicine was despensed and how "hollow" these kid's were...it made me cry when I went home at night... they lacked discipline, self control, compassion, apathy and on and on... my favorite time at work was one on one sessions with them and honestly, what I found out was that the parents got so frustrated communicating with them, they just gave in to whatever they wanted and spent enormous amounts of money on "things" out of guilt, rather than getting to know their child and taking time to teach them values, ethics and respect for those around them. Funny...I learned all those things very early and my mom didn't even leave scars! LOL 
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my mom would STILL spank me
if she could catch me. she's 73 and slow |
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lol...I was raised in a Southern Baptist family and went to church every time the doors were open...EVERY adult was my parent in one way or another so I was taught to respect authority at an early age. Yes, I got spanked...I also was taught self restraint and loves unconditionally!! Later in life , when I was struggling through depression, the docs wanted to slap me on medicine and dig through my childhood (because something MUST have been traumatic for me as a child)...after I left that session, I was mad at my mom, dad, brother, sister and dog!! I eventually became a counselor at a drug and alcohol rehab facility for adolescent children and was amazed at how much medicine was despensed and how "hollow" these kid's were...it made me cry when I went home at night... they lacked discipline, self control, compassion, apathy and on and on... my favorite time at work was one on one sessions with them and honestly, what I found out was that the parents got so frustrated communicating with them, they just gave in to whatever they wanted and spent enormous amounts of money on "things" out of guilt, rather than getting to know their child and taking time to teach them values, ethics and respect for those around them. Funny...I learned all those things very early and my mom didn't even leave scars! LOL i know that children are way to medicated...those are the psychiatrists. i study school psychology-which is the study of their behavior and how to improve it. psychologists have nothing to do with medicine. sounds like you had fun with your kids you worked around. parents do need to spend more time with their kids. kids learn through there culture and immediate surroundings. |
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We are all a result of the way we were raised..so many posting how "I was hit and I turned out just fine" and then in another post describing their dysfunction in past relationships, health, mental health, addictions, issues..so many share so freely. Yet no one seems to feel any of these issues are related to their up bringing, or that it could have anything to do with being hit by a bigger, stronger person who told you "this is going to hurt me more than you".
I'm finding it quite amusing... |
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Edited by
msharmony
on
Wed 04/07/10 09:23 AM
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no offense, but I truly believe that if enough studies are done and psychologists dig deep enough...eventually, we'll be raised by our children...just sayin'... lol,, good point,,,the psych field really is politically and culturally motivated, in my opinion everything is politically and culturally motivated in one way or another...lol possibly, but medicine and health shouldnt be i dont believe that politics should be in science and medicine...but why would you say that you wouldnt want culture? culture is great, but shouldnt influence medicine. If you look through the history of psychology at what 'ailments' and 'illnesses' have popped up and disappeared, you see a pretty strong correlation to the cultural preferences of the time or the region nymphomania was once a stigmatized ailment,when cultural values deemed sex and womens bodies as sacred,, now its just 'casual sex' pedophilia(the type which classifies children as anyone under 18, not the type that focuses on children who are pre pubescent),, as we know, is a detestable ailment in our culture, whereas in other cultures it is acceptable for teens to marry and be parents and even sometimes , political leaders I just think too much emphasis is placed on peoples CHOICES and that emphasis seems to correlate with the current or regional acceptance of said choices instead of being based in any real biological or medical foundation just appears to me as if 'psychological' conditions pop up whenever enough people seem to want to engage in one activity or another, as is evident with all the different types of 'rehab' we now have. |
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personaly..spanking is reserved for bad bad things not just off the cuff stuff,
and yes if the child needs it by all means but never do it out of anger.. secondly i think people need to raise their own kids and quit judging and telling others how to raise theirs.. go to a store and just watch.. that should tell you that it needs to make a come back 
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LadyLovely - Great point about meds being handed out like candy. Especially to children.
Lo - You have to understand how the parents were raised. My Daddy was 42 years old when I was born and raised on a farm with 12 brothers and sisters dirt poor. I know you would never raise a hand but you don't have to. You understand how to talk to your boys. I always look at the intent of actions. I know I never got my azz beat because my Daddy wanted to hurt me. It is all he knew...... 
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LadyLovely - Great point about meds being handed out like candy. Especially to children. Lo - You have to understand how the parents were raised. My Daddy was 42 years old when I was born and raised on a farm with 12 brothers and sisters dirt poor. I know you would never raise a hand but you don't have to. You understand how to talk to your boys. I always look at the intent of actions. I know I never got my azz beat because my Daddy wanted to hurt me. It is all he knew...... Jeff, I was raised that way, seems our generation was. I was hit too and understand my parents also were. You nailed it on the head with "you understand how to talk to your boys"...my boys are no different than any other kids. Talking to them has not been so hard. I am there for I think...not I am therefore I hit. I'm thinking if you have children one day, you probably won't feel the need to hit them either. |
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all children are different,, but all need consistency, love, and discipline,,,just as surely as they need food, water, and shelter
they cant all eat the same foods and not all can be disciplined the same way,,,but in the end i think its the BALANCE that is much more significant than the methods,,, |
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LadyLovely - Great point about meds being handed out like candy. Especially to children. Lo - You have to understand how the parents were raised. My Daddy was 42 years old when I was born and raised on a farm with 12 brothers and sisters dirt poor. I know you would never raise a hand but you don't have to. You understand how to talk to your boys. I always look at the intent of actions. I know I never got my azz beat because my Daddy wanted to hurt me. It is all he knew...... Jeff, I was raised that way, seems our generation was. I was hit too and understand my parents also were. You nailed it on the head with "you understand how to talk to your boys"...my boys are no different than any other kids. Talking to them has not been so hard. I am there for I think...not I am therefore I hit. I'm thinking if you have children one day, you probably won't feel the need to hit them either. |
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I'm thinking if you have children one day, you probably won't feel the need to hit them either. Have you lost your damn mind? Children?.... 
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LadyLovely - Great point about meds being handed out like candy. Especially to children. Lo - You have to understand how the parents were raised. My Daddy was 42 years old when I was born and raised on a farm with 12 brothers and sisters dirt poor. I know you would never raise a hand but you don't have to. You understand how to talk to your boys. I always look at the intent of actions. I know I never got my azz beat because my Daddy wanted to hurt me. It is all he knew...... Jeff, I was raised that way, seems our generation was. I was hit too and understand my parents also were. You nailed it on the head with "you understand how to talk to your boys"...my boys are no different than any other kids. Talking to them has not been so hard. I am there for I think...not I am therefore I hit. I'm thinking if you have children one day, you probably won't feel the need to hit them either. I was quoting newark there... difference is bedlum your ok with smacking your daughter in the mouth, I would never disrespect my sons that way. |
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I'm thinking if you have children one day, you probably won't feel the need to hit them either. Have you lost your damn mind? Children?.... aww Jeff, you'd be such a good daddy |
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I would like to clarify one thing. I am not talking about anything but an old fashion bent over a knee smack on the ***. A hand to the head is a different ballgame.........
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only as a last resort and NEVER out of anger....sorry if that bothers you....you have your way i have mine...its not my place to tell you how to raise yours or visa versa...i respect your opine
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weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...ain't this fun???
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weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...ain't this fun??? lol,,,careful before you get spanked,,, Me? I am a Madear fan AND a nanny 911 fan,,,whatever works |
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ok, lets throw a different perspective on this since there are 2 threads going on this same thoughts. My sons are 25, 18, and 15. I don't spank, hit, never have, never will. My boys date girls that hit them..these girls have been hit their entire lives and the minute something goes wrong they want to hit and they are shocked that my boys don't engage in this behavior. I have gotten to know most of these girls quite well and they do have issues, they feel it is natural to hit, it's what they know, it's what their use to. They are also for the most part potheads and drinkers ( activities my boys don't engage in, at least the two younger ones) and have "daddy issues". From getting to know many of these young girls, it's fair to say they DO have issues from being hit. I realize I'm generalizing here..I'm only going on my experiences.
Makes it hard for a nice young man who has been taught to be a pacifist to find a decent girlfriend.. |
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