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| Topic: Number of partners | |
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as long as its 1 when theyre with me, thats all that matters
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I don't worry that I may run into exes or one night stands of any guy I choose to date. Nor do I worry about how many of them have had him.
I worry about how he treats me. How he is with me in public. How respectful he is with me, etc.... If he talks about his exes really bad and uses a lot of derogatory terms when referring to them, that is a warning sign of misogyny to me so I will leave them alone after that. |
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Like I'm likely to find a 45+ year old virgin.   Exactly!!!!!! |
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I look at the past like it is a rearview mirror in a car. It's good to glance at once in a while, but I need to focus all my attention on what is happening right in front of me.
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I've been asked similar questions by a few male friends. It seems to be quite an issue for some people. I always have the same answer. If you want to know be prepaired for the truth. If you don't want details don't ask. Be prepaired to be asked in return. I was asked once. If I remember correctly he was was stunned. Apparently you don't find many twenty-year old virgins. I wonder why it's such a big deal because I don't see it as an issue about the "town whore" thing so much as a health risk. ...I've also found that just because someone IS pretty much rumoured to be experienced doesn't make them any good at anything. Seriously, had more fun by myself  Sometimes I wonder if people just want to hear what they hope the truth is, rather than what it really is. |
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Well there's asking about it and hopefully getting an honest answer, and there's them sharing it with you and you never asked. I find it a little troubling when they feel the need to share vivid detailed stories about their last relationships.
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Another way to look at it: Suppose you were in the market for a good use car! You find 2, that are identical in every way, same price etc! One has a lot more miles on it than the other! Which would you be inclined to choose?  BUT my whole thought is this...why is it if women say I have been with blah blah blah, men are like OMG she is such a sl*t. But if men say I have slept with 125 women, other guys are saying OH YES! It is a double standard for men and women, is that really fair? I am not saying that I have slept with a lot of men or anything BUT I don't think the double standard is fair. I myself would never tell someone how many partners I have had. Its my past and that's exactly where it belongs. Usually when you tell someone your past they always use it against you!!! |
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Well there's asking about it and hopefully getting an honest answer, and there's them sharing it with you and you never asked. I find it a little troubling when they feel the need to share vivid detailed stories about their last relationships. Some details are not a bad thing, if they let me know what he might like. I don't need to know who it happened with and when it was, though. |
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This is a question a lot of folks aren't going to be honest about anyway...for me..not my business to know and not theirs either.
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Edited by
Atlantis75
on
Fri 01/22/10 08:10 AM
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I can tell after one night if someone lies drastically about the numbers.
It does show ladies, no point hiding it. I had a girlfriend who only had 1 and I could tell because whatever guy she was dating before...well,let's just say that she only knew certain things in bed. All robotic- a "routine like" one way is hint. I have also had a g/f who wouldn't tell (and I wouldn't ask) but I could tell right away that she had such an experience that even shocked me with her "knowledge".. And if someone just "telling" things of sexual stories, not a good way to go, because words and actions are 2 different things..she might have the best ideas ever but she might have never even done it to begin with. |
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^^^^^Dang!! I wanna' be shocked!! Sounds like it could be fun!
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Hell I'm more worried about if they have anything per-say herpes, aids ect.. then I'm on how many they have sleep with.
But now.............I'm no different then anyone else I would not sleep with anyone that was known to sell their body for a living or that they were well known to sleep with everything in town. I mean hell some things you can't get past. Nor would I sleep with one that bragged how many women/men they have sleep with. So there are exceptions to every case of what you will or will not do. It's my choice and I will make it as I see fit for me.  But do I ask humm no I don't want to hear intimate details of whom they have been with nor will I tell them. 
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Past is exactly that, anybody that needs to brag, isn't worth it.
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I haven't been asked that,nor do I ask them.No need to know.But I have been asked how long as it been?
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I can tell after one night if someone lies drastically about the numbers. It does show ladies, no point hiding it. I had a girlfriend who only had 1 and I could tell because whatever guy she was dating before...well,let's just say that she only knew certain things in bed. All robotic- a "routine like" one way is hint. I have also had a g/f who wouldn't tell (and I wouldn't ask) but I could tell right away that she had such an experience that even shocked me with her "knowledge".. And if someone just "telling" things of sexual stories, not a good way to go, because words and actions are 2 different things..she might have the best ideas ever but she might have never even done it to begin with. I can see how it would suck to be with someone who only had sex in a "routine like" way, but I wouldn't think that would necessarily mean they've only been with one person. Perhaps they were unlucky and had only been with boring men? And talking about things they like, whether they've done them or not, would be a good thing to me. I'd much rather know what someone enjoys or wants to try, even if they haven't tried them before. |
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Edited by
lilith401
on
Fri 01/22/10 12:19 PM
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Women usually do not care that men have had many sexual partners. Men usually do care about the numbers of partners a woman has had.
This is REDONKULOUS. There is nothing wrong with a woman with experience, and realize that if a woman sleeps with 5 men or 500 men the size of her vagina does NOT change. A basic understanding of human anatomy would bear that out. But then again, some folks put butter on a burn. DUH My opinion? Men care how many partners the woman has had because they fear she would think he sucks in bed by comparison. If he were only as worried about TRYING to please her and being communicative. |
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People keep bringing up the sex aspect of this question. Fine, I get it. The point I was trying to bring up is the relationship angle of it. If they have had so many over the last several years, it makes you wonder why they failed so many times, why didn't they have one quality relationship that lasted more than a few years? I would also want to know early on, if they've ever cheated, or inclined to cheat in the future before I invest too much of my emotions in continuing this budding new relationship.
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People keep bringing up the sex aspect of this question. Fine, I get it. The point I was trying to bring up is the relationship angle of it. If they have had so many over the last several years, it makes you wonder why they failed so many times, why didn't they have one quality relationship that lasted more than a few years? I would also want to know early on, if they've ever cheated, or inclined to cheat in the future before I invest too much of my emotions in continuing this budding new relationship. Having sex does not equal a relationship. While some people will only have sex with those they are in relationships with, not everyone is like that. |
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Women usually do not care that men have had many sexual partners. Men usually do care about the numbers of partners a woman has had. This is REDONKULOUS. There is nothing wrong with a woman with experience, and realize that if a woman sleeps with 5 men or 500 men the size of her vagina does NOT change. A basic understanding of human anatomy would bear that out. But then again, some folks put butter on a burn. DUH My opinion? Men care how many partners the woman has had because they fear she would think he sucks in bed by comparison. If he were only as worried about TRYING to please her and being communicative. Yes, I do think men worry more about being compared to others. |
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Or how about that threesome I had in my twenties? Does that count against me? That wasn't a relationship. Or wait, my teen years....
Seriously, a partner number gives no real clue as to relationship number. And the cheating factor.... let's be honest. The cheaters aren't going to fess up. Not the serial serious cheaters. Those who did it once and learned their lesson would likely be truthful. But the ones that cheat before you're even serious and keep cheating? No chance you're going to be told. |
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