yeh but it doesn't give you the right to cheat on someone

Well I say end one relationship before you start another...If there is
that little passion then end the marriage...It shoudldn't be that
hard!!!!!!!!!

Anything else is an exscuse to be unfaithful!!!!!!

I agree Nativegrl

this lady is always going against my bright brain!!!!!!!!

100% Native_Grl39

Is there two types of 'married' in the States?

Please remember, I am from somewhere else, so have to learn the
meanings...

'Married' to me has a number of meanings...

The legal binding of two people, either by Church, (Eyes of God, thing)
and the laws of the country one lives in, complete with all the
amendments to the contract, set out by religion and/or law.

Then there is married by committment, an agreed union...whether with a
certificate of marriage or not. (Some call it defacto)

When that union ends...and both parties agree...are they not seperated,
as in the union is dissolved?

Why is the term still held on to?

Divorce is the only term, it appears, where it is acceptable to be able
to look at other romantic, exclusive type relationships. Is this the
general consensus in the States?

Whne two people have marriages that have ended, and are no longer a
union, an exclusive relationship, aren't they now single?

Does the word/term divorce create the only space that allows other
relationships?

I am confused.

I feel if a 'union' has ended, and is agreed upon by BOTH parties,
whatever happens after that, (where there is no intentional harm, or
deception in place), it's no-one elses business what the now 'single'
people do, and no-one has a right to judge them.

well suppose the married people have an "open" relationship....is this
still considered cheating?

and before ya'll start asking if i have one...the answer is NO!!....but
I've ran into this type of marriage many times through the years!

No...an open relationship is an agreement between the two to have other
partners...Cheating is when one partner or spouse didn't sign on to be
cheated on!!!!!!!!!

native u crack me up

I don't think we need to disect the unity of what married is?

If two people are through with each other then there through with each
other and free to seek out whatever.

But, it only takes at the most a year to finale a divorce in
court, if the party's agree.

Im a realest, if she has been seperated for three years then SOMEONE
doesn't want to final the DIVORCE, or it would have already happened.

So now I allow my self to fall in love with her and she also falls in
love with me, THEN she FOLLOWS through with the final
DIVORCE and then he COULD FEEL AND BLAME ME for HIS LOSS,,,,
WOULD THAT BE RIGHT?? Yes, HE would have the right to BLAME me for
taking HIS WIFE from him....
Because SHE was uncertain BEFORE she met ME!!!!

So there I am FEELING like I MADE HER MIND UP,,,,FOR HER!
THAT IS WHERE I WILL NEVER BE AGAIN!!!!
I DONE THIS ONCE AND I WILL NOT LET IT HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN,,and I
wouldn't want it to happen to someone else unexspected,
so I vent MY CONCERNS NOW, so as to make my point here.

ANYBODY who has ANOTHER, and wants MORE,,,,,,IS WRONG!!!
END OF STORY, no fine print no reasons left to give cry
to,,,its,,,,WRONG!!

Because even in relationships that are OPEN,,,SOME HAVE LEFT THEIR
MATE,,FOR ANOTHER,,,AND "THAT" PAIN WAS STILL FELT BY THE ONE THAT GOT
LEFT!!! NO WINNERS,,,JUST SOMEONES HEART BROKEN!!!

Again I say simply........
ANYBODY who has ANOTHER, and wants MORE,,,,,,IS WRONG!!!

Lee, I agree with what you're saying.
The person I was referring to hasn't actually made the split with his
current girlfriend. She has no idea that he IS looking elsewhere. It's
over in his mind but I've told him to please be civil and respectful
enough to talk to her about this. So far he hasn't. This is what I don't
like.
How's she going to feel when one day he packs up and disappears. I get
the feeling that will be exactly what happens. Not cool.

Iam4u...it only takes a year for a divorce IF there isn't property or
other issues to deal with...but we have a big estate and children
involved ... and issues to resolve...and where and when things are given
and ... well...a complicated divorce isn't as easy as you may
think...especially if there are inheritence and children involved...and
in our case...not only children, but grandchildren...so it takes a
little longer. We've had to go thru lawyers ...back & forth...to try to
get things resolved...it's almost there! And when it is...I'll be one
happy lady!! Yes, I admitt, a marriage is a contract of 2 people that
USED to love one another...but when that is over....it's over...no piece
of paper is going to make a difference...except in court...to sue one
another or whatever...when it's over...it's over...period! And that's
where I'm at now...like I said..it's only the formalities that is
holding this divorce up.

regardless one should wait until everything is settled especially if
children are involved.

i think they need to communicate that to their spouse.

Well I can appreciate your problems with getting everything took care
of,,but just know that ALOT of dude here or in life, will stay clear of
ANY lady still pending her out come!!
Now, the ones who will meet and date someone in THIS situration,,,might
just be a user or a scammer, or a little of both,,be careful to SEE
their hearts before you believe their EYES!!!
TRUTH!

there is no reason for cheating, just excuses, end of report

I can tell you exactly how that feels Harry ... and no, you are right
... not cool

It makes me mad
when I think of
married guys going
to dating sites.

As if there's not
enough lonely single
people out there
who have to jump
over so many hoops
to even get to
the first date.

Will work for chocolate... :)

If going thru a divorce, all papers filed, BS dragging the matter out.
As long as you are truthfull with all that you meet, your kids & family
have full knowledge of all happenings; I see no problem with a person
dating or going on with life.
Others may & will disagree. "Different strokes/Different folks."