one cannot find a lost passion here, in the bowling alley, in another's
arms, in Vegas, or on dial-a-fb

lost passion is MIA in one's heart - and so a search here is only an
exercise in futility

I'll drink to that, (fills glass and raises it high) :)

I got curious and looked at Trailrider's profile.. Her status says
married and says she's lookin' for a man for dating.. You sure you
aren't talkin' about yourself Trailrider? lol

yes dear, I'm married...but I've been seperated for almost 3 years...and
no, I'm not talking about myself.

Heres my question...if you are just seperated, is it alright to date? I
know when I was seperated and going through my divorce, I didn't feel
like I WANTED to date!!
I don't think you are really done with the first relationship, so why
jump into another one?

95% of the time someone that loses it is not going to find it again with
in that person. it's not someething you can just turn off and on anytime
you want to. So if there here looking for it and knowing there married.I
think it's wrong to lie to yourself and the person your with and it is
really not fair to stay with them if your on here lookig for it.

I think you are right there TheShadow...thats why you are better off
just to end the relationship. Why involve someone else when you are
still married..thats my whole thing!!

Unsure....I feel that my marriage is dead...totally, hence the
seperation for so long...plus, he lives in another state. Yes, I feel
I'm ready to start dating..and I have been dating for sometime. I guess
I'm too sympathetic to the guy who's married, but lost that passion,
because I was in the same boat. I know the feeling of being lonely ...
even when you're married. On the other hand...I may be too old to get
married again, but I still want to be happy with just one person.

Sorry...I want to continue...but I've got to get out to the
horses...I'll be back later.

I personally refuse to date ANY person who is involved with
another,,,married seperatated, going with,,,ect..
I have done THAT in my past,,,AND NEVER AGAIN, its wrong and
I WILL NEVER BE IN THE EYES OF A LADIES LOVER AS A AMN TO COME BETWEEN
HER AND HIM....
And the lady or any LADY needs to be FREE before she meets me as I do
not want HER to FEEL that I HELPED her to come to ANY CONCLUSIONS TO HER
STAYING OR LEAVING HER MAN!!!!

I've been HURT, and it SUCKS,,I would NEVER want to cause THAT PAIN to
anyone else,,and I WON"T!!!! That SIMPLE!!!

Here, here!

It is too easy to be the sympathetic ear. And you are new so by its
very nature 'interesting'. His wife is known.

Investment outside a troubled relationship spells doom. Particularly
emotional investment.

You only know his side of the story or, at best, that which he chooses
for you to know. Are you so sure his wife is on the same page?

Do you really want to get involved in that?

There are two sides to an equation like this ... they guy looking and
the woman willing to overlook his circumstance.

I don't know, maybe I am different then anyone else...it took me about 3
years to get over my divorce and finally start dating again. Once I
filed for the divorce, I didn't feel like there was any kind of
closure...that didn't come till a lot later. Of course I made him move
out of the house before I filed and yes he did start dating right
away...but I just didn't understand how he could date. To me, it made
our marriage seem less important to him.
I know all about feeling lonely when you are married, I still don't
think thats a reason to cheat. I still think you should make things
final in the first relationship and then if you want to start a fresh
relationship, then you don't have anything coming back to haunt you from
the prior relationship.

If it's causing you stress now, what will this cause if you get more
involved. Bottom line, you're the one you have to face in the mirror
and you're the one that has to live with your choices. Food for thought
more than anything.

Iam4u and unsure, I agree with you 100%
There's no way you can construct a new building on top of an old
existing one, even if it is collapsing. You need solid ground to build
on.

I rather be happy then to stay in a situation that is not
working....like Artgurl said there is two sides to a story. or for all
we no this persn could be just feeding lins. This is the net people
anything goes

Unsure your not alone.

It’s ironic that passion is so easily found in that which is forbidden
instead of the place it should be..........

I think forbidden is half the spark of passion...

It depends on WHERE the THOUGHTS of forbidden are focussed on?
Like sexual forbiddens are good, but emotional forbidden can be
HURTING someone other than YOU!!!

Maybe this site should put up some kind of "married filter" @
registration time, and allowed only in certain forums... Just an idea!

Just tell him to work on finding the passion, and that this situation is
not right for you.

Give him some suggestions on how to refind the passion if its able to be
rekindled with his wife.

Tell him to go and rent a motel room, spread some flowers around, set
candles up, set the radio to music that has a meaning between them, and
just find each other again.

How about a romantic candlelight dinner. Or a picnic up in the mountains
by a stream just the two of them, time to cuddle, talk, work things out
and if those don't work suggest a separation