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| Topic: Friends? | |
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Old Sage Defends FWB one more time... I say; NEVER pass judgement on ANYONE. What works for one may not work for others. What happens behind closed doors, is NOBODIES business. If FWB, works for you; God Bless you both. Those that it doesn't work for; God Bless you too. I know that if I am privledged enough to be close to a lady, we will have had a chat & understand EXACTLY where WE are at. I hide nothing & will lie to no one. A "TRUE FRIEND" will never judge a "FRIEND." My thoughts on "Friends With Benefits." Now Sir ,if you are going to use God as a blesser of the thought of FWB , then where do His rules like "Thou Shall NOT Commit Adultery" fall in to play.You toss around God's Blessings as if He condones immoral behavior.I for one think He does not ..How about you? Anything goes? That is a stretch but if you say that it is alright behind closed doors, then who am I to argue..So according to your belief (and correct me if I have you wrong)I have God's blessing to do my friend's wife as long as it is in my house behind a closed door..Again ,I think not...JMO I think you might have misunderstood Sage. Nowhere did I see the word or implication of adultery. FWB is just that, friends, also sexual relationship, no strings attached. If both people have a clear understanding of what it is, then where is the problem? I for one have no interest in it, but it's none of my business, as Sage says, what goes on behind closed doors. If it doesn't affect me, why give it any thought? |
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Old Sage Defends FWB one more time... I say; NEVER pass judgement on ANYONE. What works for one may not work for others. What happens behind closed doors, is NOBODIES business. If FWB, works for you; God Bless you both. Those that it doesn't work for; God Bless you too. I know that if I am privledged enough to be close to a lady, we will have had a chat & understand EXACTLY where WE are at. I hide nothing & will lie to no one. A "TRUE FRIEND" will never judge a "FRIEND." My thoughts on "Friends With Benefits." Now Sir ,if you are going to use God as a blesser of the thought of FWB , then where do His rules like "Thou Shall NOT Commit Adultery" fall in to play.You toss around God's Blessings as if He condones immoral behavior.I for one think He does not ..How about you? Anything goes? That is a stretch but if you say that it is alright behind closed doors, then who am I to argue..So according to your belief (and correct me if I have you wrong)I have God's blessing to do my friend's wife as long as it is in my house behind a closed door..Again ,I think not...JMO I think you might have misunderstood Sage. Nowhere did I see the word or implication of adultery. FWB is just that, friends, also sexual relationship, no strings attached. If both people have a clear understanding of what it is, then where is the problem? No one is condoning adultry...re read sage's post...Millie is correct. During my FWB relationship..we were both single! |
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You may all attack my stretch of situational ethics but I go back to Old Sage's comment..."What happens behind closed doors, is NOBODIES business" So what does it matter who I am with..Married or not seems to be fair play as long as it is agreed upon and behind closed doors.Remember he said"If FWB, works for you; God Bless you both. Those that it doesn't work for; God Bless you too".The statement speaks for itself.To assume he meant only single folks does not follow with his thought pattern that God blesses all sanctions.It is a small stretch to say God allows any action as long as it is agreed on and behind closed doors..
When you all use the term "what does it matter" ...I answer saying what I have said so many times before...We are supposed to set examples of good behavior for the future generations...Lead by example....Did all of you who promote this kind of behavior, teach your children the same ethics or do you ask them to be discreet with their sexuality.Or maybe it is just an age thing because we are in a above 50 forum.What happened to morals and the value of marriage?....I think it is interesting to see the amount of women who say they want or have had FWB relationships.From a male point of view, I want my women as pure and untouched as possible. The more affairs one has , the harder it is to find someone who wants you.Males are called dogs or players and the names for promiscuios women are plentiful.I rarely see fwb relationships that work other than the convenience of the breakup..Then everyone is happy and the person left with the problems is the next person in line..jmo |
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You may all attack my stretch of situational ethics but I go back to Old Sage's comment..."What happens behind closed doors, is NOBODIES business" So what does it matter who I am with..Married or not seems to be fair play as long as it is agreed upon and behind closed doors.Remember he said"If FWB, works for you; God Bless you both. Those that it doesn't work for; God Bless you too".The statement speaks for itself.To assume he meant only single folks does not follow with his thought pattern that God blesses all sanctions.It is a small stretch to say God allows any action as long as it is agreed on and behind closed doors.. When you all use the term "what does it matter" ...I answer saying what I have said so many times before...We are supposed to set examples of good behavior for the future generations...Lead by example....Did all of you who promote this kind of behavior, teach your children the same ethics or do you ask them to be discreet with their sexuality.Or maybe it is just an age thing because we are in a above 50 forum.What happened to morals and the value of marriage?....I think it is interesting to see the amount of women who say they want or have had FWB relationships.From a male point of view, I want my women as pure and untouched as possible. The more affairs one has , the harder it is to find someone who wants you.Males are called dogs or players and the names for promiscuios women are plentiful.I rarely see fwb relationships that work other than the convenience of the breakup..Then everyone is happy and the person left with the problems is the next person in line..jmo Just wondering if Your God is the same one that gave us Free Will and said "love thy neighbor"? I have not had a FWB relationship but MY God says "judge not less you be judged"! I think you are making alot of judgement calls here--just my opinion! |
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Old Sage...so many words of wisdom..You jump to a conclusion as absurd as it can be.Are you suggesting that we look for loose women or follow my lead and wait for the one who has a brain set like mine.What is so wrong with staying celibate until married?You say and I quote " Maybe that is why you can't find what you seek, in a lady??" I think moral values are the first thing I look for in a lady and think that is paramount to a good friendship and possible future.Loose morals seem to be the standard today and we wonder why the divorce rate is so high if they chose to marry at all.
"love thy neighbor" does not mean to bed them all. "judge not less you be judged" is a phrase alot of people use to defend their own actions..I have no problem with anyone judging me.By the way free will is exactly that ...the will to go to heaven or hell and yes, He gave us that choice..based on our actions.. and for Old Sage , I never said anything about FWB until someone else brought it up , so please do not elude that I am going in a differant direction.I am responding to a prior post. |
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Well Mike I was with my ex for 29 years and never cheated on him. I attend church and have raised my 2 sons to be moral human beings. By all accounts I would be the type of woman you describe. From your posts and your judgements of others, you are turning off moral good women who might be interested in you otherwise. JMO
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Excuse me while I jump in here since it was ME who told of my FWB relationship.. I am a grown woman and a mother so obviously I have been "touched" hell, I have even touched myself... I am not a "loose" woman because I had FWB. I am not a loose woman at all, although I'm sure your definition of loose and mine would be very different...
Why do your morals have anything to do with mine..or anyone's for that matter. If you choose to be celibate until marriage that is your choice, just as my choice was to be in a very loving FWB relationship. If I choose to get layed every night by some one different it still is MY choice... Live and let live..why does it matter how others live if they are not affecting your life? I just don't understand why so many care so much about what others do.... |
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Old Sage...so many words of wisdom..You jump to a conclusion as absurd as it can be.Are you suggesting that we look for loose women or follow my lead and wait for the one who has a brain set like mine.What is so wrong with staying celibate until married?You say and I quote " Maybe that is why you can't find what you seek, in a lady??" I think moral values are the first thing I look for in a lady and think that is paramount to a good friendship and possible future.Loose morals seem to be the standard today and we wonder why the divorce rate is so high if they chose to marry at all. "love thy neighbor" does not mean to bed them all. "judge not less you be judged" is a phrase alot of people use to defend their own actions..I have no problem with anyone judging me.By the way free will is exactly that ...the will to go to heaven or hell and yes, He gave us that choice..based on our actions.. and for Old Sage , I never said anything about FWB until someone else brought it up , so please do not elude that I am going in a differant direction.I am responding to a prior post. Just my opinion....but why are you twisting everyones words? You are assuming that if some one has or has had, a FWB that they are of lower morals than yourself and that they are automatically teaching their children bad values and morals...I'm sorry you feel this way. We're on the world wide web here, there are people from all over the world, with different religions, politics, morals and insights on here...we each should respect the other..and not put anyone down just because we don't happen to agree with them. Again, JMO... |
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I have several male friends. Friends online are different than friends in person. It is difficult not to get involved when in person. Seems to me it is ok to have friends of the opposite sex when you are not in a relationship. However, when you are in a relationship with someone it doesn't seem to be well tolerated. I'm not saying if this is right or wrong, simply that it exists.
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Sage , You sir make me laugh and I thank you for that. What one word did I write that gives you the idea I am miserable? When you take the high road and act like the on site psychiatrist,and call me miserable, I sat back and chuckled. That is an old political trick...if you're losing an arguement ,then use slander...diverts the subject matter... Makes you look good for the folks here..and I understand that .I'll go ahead and shut down my profile now and we will not cross again on the subjects that you hold so dear...It bugs me that a moderator here can call the site members miserable without fact one to back his position.....Good Bye |
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Hi I'm new on M2, and wow, what a discussion...... It's like basic courtsey isn't it, Like, why would anyone need to be told to respect others opinion etc ...hum.... Sad such a person bails just because he didn't win over a topic... If you can't take it, don't dish it out...
ok now for my opinion, lol I personally think, it's between the two people that decide to be Friends with benefits. At least, they are knowing what's what going in with eyes open. No one can complain about the other seeing someone else or complain about getting anything either. ouch.. that's the scary part to me.... I would think there would be a special bond between the two, more than your average friendship. Best of luck to you. Feel the blessing and accept it as it is for what it is..... Cat |
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If you can't take it, don't dish it out..Cathy ,you are new here and I am not.Sage and I have gone over this subject before.He as a moderator should not say things he has no knowledge of or try to demean anyone with terms like miserable.He does not know me and I have never said I was unhappy in any way .So he has stooped to a new level of arguing.Bailing as you put it is not my intent.To sign off and leave is the best form of rebellion for this kind of site.
There is no winning this topic.I have my views and Sage has his. I went back to a prior set of posts to pull this . If there is a label on a shirt that tells you what it is made of ,do you believe it or not..I believe that when a woman goes online to look for companionship and declares that sex without commitment is an option (not to be confused with slut),then she has labeled herself...No attack ,just a statement.. Cathy ,you wrote"or complain about getting anything either. ouch.. that's the scary part to me.... I would think there would be a special bond between the two, more than your average friendship. and I answer ,you are right ...of course they are special bonds of going to see a doc to cure it and the sighs of relief when the aids test comes back negative ...What a bond.More power to the promiscuous. |
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If you can't take it, don't dish it out..Cathy ,you are new here and I am not.Sage and I have gone over this subject before.He as a moderator should not say things he has no knowledge of or try to demean anyone with terms like miserable.He does not know me and I have never said I was unhappy in any way .So he has stooped to a new level of arguing.Bailing as you put it is not my intent.To sign off and leave is the best form of rebellion for this kind of site. There is no winning this topic.I have my views and Sage has his. I went back to a prior set of posts to pull this . If there is a label on a shirt that tells you what it is made of ,do you believe it or not..I believe that when a woman goes online to look for companionship and declares that sex without commitment is an option (not to be confused with slut),then she has labeled herself...No attack ,just a statement.. Cathy ,you wrote"or complain about getting anything either. ouch.. that's the scary part to me.... I would think there would be a special bond between the two, more than your average friendship. and I answer ,you are right ...of course they are special bonds of going to see a doc to cure it and the sighs of relief when the aids test comes back negative ...What a bond.More power to the promiscuous. rude, very rude..not all who engage in sex are diseased... I'm 49 and have never had any STD..NEVER! Sex actually takes away that feeling of being grumpy, quite a relief, you should try it sometime. Of course use a condom and be safe! Peace brother 
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rude, very rude..not all who engage in sex are diseased... I'm 49 and have never had any STD..NEVER! Sex actually takes away that feeling of being grumpy, quite a relief, you should try it sometime. Of course use a condom and be safe! Peace brother You prove my point exactly..I have never had to have a test because I am who I am.I have a moral code of conduct and sex does not drive it.I never said that all who engage in sex are diseased.I have said that I read labels and for you to come out to the world and brag about your behavior is a red flag for me and if we were to meet, I surely would ask to see your medical records. To the women on here who engage in this behavior ,I would ask if the orgasm is worth the games or dangers.This is about mind games and physical and emotional problems and even religous beliefs not just beddin' down. I will stand my ground on this subject and would hope that the women of virtue would see this as chivalrous and they would understand my views.The rest can go get screwed.(my term for sex without emotion) |
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My Thoughts
The leaves have been blown away Exposed, still, the spindle tree. I am dry and the desert has become my bed. The wind speaks, whispering its roar. Soon I will waste to decay. No one will know that I have been... my thoughts. Raine Les 11/9/2009 a reflection can be be very telling. |
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Good evening. I have been reading this thread and I was perhaps hoping that someone had a new perspective sadly that is not the case. But perhaps I am completely missing the spirit of things. Friends with benefits. An interesting choice of words. I guess that I always thought that when I person had sex with another person then all of the dynamics change. It is not possible to look at another person in the same light after actual sex has occurred. No matter the direction of the relationship after sex you cannot look at and perceive that person in the same light as before. There are always strings attached. There is always a tremendous shift in the communication dynamic and much of the time for the negative. Yes, men and women can be friends but sex can often turn that good friendship on its head. There are some considerable dangers where friends with benefits meet and the situation is often little more than manipulation.
Moderators are not mediators. They are though very human. |
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rude, very rude..not all who engage in sex are diseased... I'm 49 and have never had any STD..NEVER! Sex actually takes away that feeling of being grumpy, quite a relief, you should try it sometime. Of course use a condom and be safe! Peace brother You prove my point exactly..I have never had to have a test because I am who I am.I have a moral code of conduct and sex does not drive it.I never said that all who engage in sex are diseased.I have said that I read labels and for you to come out to the world and brag about your behavior is a red flag for me and if we were to meet, I surely would ask to see your medical records. To the women on here who engage in this behavior ,I would ask if the orgasm is worth the games or dangers.This is about mind games and physical and emotional problems and even religous beliefs not just beddin' down. I will stand my ground on this subject and would hope that the women of virtue would see this as chivalrous and they would understand my views.The rest can go get screwed.(my term for sex without emotion) LOL...........good luck with finding a woman here or anywhere....The last time I looked, we all had feet of clay! |
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Friends make living and giving flow as one, sharing with all their bad and good, tears and beers, or pouts and bouts, dine and wine, if you prefer. I would concur.
We need both sexes for us to be friends so we can see all that makes them grin,lol. I have had mostly all female friends my entire life, grade school up,,,and that helped me to always see and feel their side or opinions. Not that I would have that feminist look or charm, just held in my mind for all time. Getting to know anyone as a real friend, is an amazing race that neither shall win. And if along comes intimacy with each other, then THAT ONES hard brother. Friends can be seen, heard, and felt, a lover has to be MORE,,,,in some ways,,,or a few,,but MORE,, and that MORE,,,,can make your mind or theirs,,very sore,wink Yes, I am silly,,,,but ya read it didn't ya,wink,,,,lol,lol,lol |
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Mike..you just proved everyone eles's point...you are assuming and making judgments about me when all you know is I had an FWB once upon a time...
Engage in this kind of behavior...you don't know my behavior..  You do not and will never know enough about me to make a judgment on my behavior... lighten up dude. Maybe this will help you feel better about my "low" standards..I haven't been layed in over 2 years...how's that for loose..  |
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Mike..you just proved everyone eles's point...you are assuming and making judgments about me when all you know is I had an FWB once upon a time... Engage in this kind of behavior...you don't know my behavior.. You do not and will never know enough about me to make a judgment on my behavior... lighten up dude. Maybe this will help you feel better about my "low" standards..I haven't been layed in over 2 years...how's that for loose.. edit to say..on your phrase "should we ever meet" dude could not, would not... I do not try to hide who I am..and that is why, to weed out the judgmental, stuffy men who I would never want to meet anyway... |
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