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| Topic: I might as well. | |
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Help
Help! Help!!!!!!! Please somebody help!!!!! |
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Mate,how are you approching these birds?,if your saying stuff like Am i what your looking for, or i think your what im looking for,like i belive i read back about a book ago!,no wonder man!,catch there attention,intreage them!,it might be a dateing site but we,r all looking for friends first not blind dates!,just chat man,some funky headline,then just say hi!,just snatched a peep and thort it rude not toooo!,C-YAAA! chow! :) ,your acting like you want a mail order bride from russia with LOVE! Mentioned that earlier in the thread. I've tried several styles. The one that's got the most responses is asking them something about themselves. *asking them to go into more detail about something doesn't seem to work at all though. COMPUTER SEZ NO........,loosen up,you 23 not 73,mabey try a museaum?or a libery and antiqe shop!,grow your dream girl in a test tube!,or as youve got mega lungs buy a blow up doll and call her maltilda! You are really, really, really over thinking things. *well, either I'm reading it wrong or they were wrong because it hasn't helped. The big problem with giving people advice has always been that you don't have the same problem. The way you do whatever you're describing worked the way you do it so you may have never even been exposed to all of the ways it can go wrong. I've "just taken" advice before and it doesn't solve my problems. From optimistic adults thinking they know the shortcuts to getting bullies to leave you alone to my best friend telling me to say something to someone that made things much much worse. Well that's all quite a ways in the past. Most recently I made my profile into what was apparently a disaster by following an "expert's" advice. Following the advice in here (aside from what I already know doesn't work for me from experience,) looks like it's made a good improvement but- Well, following "be positive" has had me saying things that are negative, off putting, and worse of all boring and irrelevant. I DID THAT. That was me following advice and I could tell it didn't work right. "You weren't trying" is what I imagine people saying to that. To anyone saying that it sounds good because they KNOW I wasn't trying hard enough and that that is the only problem. To me you're telling me that a huge effort is nothing at all and by proxy that I am a worthless person for not being able to do better. But I'm at least somewhat aware of other people's view points so I don't let that upset me. What I have let upset me is people ignoring what I say. I've even tried to find ways to stop that from happening but people told me I was being so insulting about that that I was almost evil so I decided not to even try that any more, and this is what's left. There's a very simple solution to all of your problems in life my friend. Something that if you don't overcome you will never have the success in life you desire. You will never have the social interactions with people you desire and you will never truly be happy. If you're a negative person and are ugly on the inside, people will know. Usually even if you try everything you can to cover it up people will still know and people just don't want to be around negative people. Until you're happy with yourself you will never succeed in life. Do you think successful people such as CEO's of companies think negatively? They think success, for you to win you have to think success. Doesn't matter what you want to do. And I didn't get this out of any self-motivation book buddy, I used to a negative thinking person. Once I've changed that people respect me more, I get more dates and life is just easier in general. Take my advice, or don't it's your own choice. Absolutely. In fact I've been practicing that this entire time, aside from the slight depression I started this thread with. The quick conclusion we can get here is that me thinking success hasn't been enough. Now, would you like to look at my profile and say something aimed at me instead of a generic message you think applies to everybody? - I'll say this again: please ask me questions. I am apparently really unpleasant to talk to when you straight up tell me to do things to fix my problems. I can't put my finger on what's nasty about it (except that I'm telling you your solutions are wrong,) so it's not going to just fix itself and suddenly have everyone like what I say to them. This looks like the way I have to talk for success to me. |
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Man,sirus now,as long as you feel good about yourself then just relax and like others have said,
enjoy the forums,just see mingle as a place to hang out like any other place, try diffrent styles,get new specs,contacts,change your hair, you dont have to just stick to what you know,mix it up. im giving you a challenge! i want you to change your apperance drasticley in some way,anything so long as its like pow! then post new pictures. when your buying new clothes ask girls to help you,dont just ask mega fit ones that you think are hot,there all girls!,and all are beautyful in a diffrent way,the point is just go for it man,so what if you get knocked back,you dont know her?,what have you lost?jack all,youve gained brave-heart!,meeting people is a skill!,youve got 2weeks to change something man,good luck! |
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Man,sirus now,as long as you feel good about yourself then just relax and like others have said, enjoy the forums,just see mingle as a place to hang out like any other place, try diffrent styles,get new specs,contacts,change your hair, you dont have to just stick to what you know,mix it up. im giving you a challenge! i want you to change your apperance drasticley in some way,anything so long as its like pow! then post new pictures. when your buying new clothes ask girls to help you,dont just ask mega fit ones that you think are hot,there all girls!,and all are beautyful in a diffrent way,the point is just go for it man,so what if you get knocked back,you dont know her?,what have you lost?jack all,youve gained brave-heart!,meeting people is a skill!,youve got 2weeks to change something man,good luck! I actually intended to get a haircut this week but I keep convincing myself it will turn out horrible if I try something new. |
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Sounds like ocd,just throw caution to the wind,once youve done it a few time its fun,do a bungee jump?
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Sounds like ocd,just throw caution to the wind,once youve done it a few time its fun,do a bungee jump? But ya, I have a really hard time not trying to be perfect at anything new I do. This don't stop me altogether but it slows things down a lot. |
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Wow. I've never seen someone ask for help on their profile, yet be rude to pretty much everyone who has tried to help, yet continue complaining that they're not getting the help they wanted.
 
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Can a "Rate My Profile" thread be to....
Long? Boring? Self absorbing? ridiculous? I know I'm adding to it which the OP is probably smiling about but.... I don't see him in the forums much at all Ya think interaction with others is the real problem and not the profile!? And not the profile at all? Sorry 
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Edited by
justincredible81
on
Mon 10/26/09 07:23 AM
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If you didn't have negative thinking this thread would not exist because you wouldn't have to question yourself. If you spend your time wondering why 1,000 women didn't reply back to you then the next 1,000 will do the same. Life is very mysterious that way, it's a test. We're all being tested constantly. As long as you judge yourself by past failures you will never have future successes.
What's so difficult about it is, let's say see a girl that you like and you're being all positive and tell yourself "I'm going to go up to her and ask her out and she's going to say YES!" then you go up to her and it doesn't work out. The obvious thing to do is to question yourself, wonder why she didn't like you. But the right thing to do is to forget about it like it never happened. Can you stay positive in your mind when outside interactions tells your brain that you shouldn't? It's a challenge. But if you say you tried positive thinking and it didn't work out then you still had negativity in your mind then it was doomed to fail. Never said it was easy, but life isn't easy. Remember all of it's just in your mind though. You paint the world you want, if it's a negative one you will get a negative world. You can only have a positive world if you paint it in your mind. |
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Sounds like ocd,just throw caution to the wind,once youve done it a few time its fun,do a bungee jump? But ya, I have a really hard time not trying to be perfect at anything new I do. This don't stop me altogether but it slows things down a lot. Well, well, well I CAN help you here. The bouncing is one of the best parts of bungee jumping. It's a jerk sensation then you're being tugged back into the air and falling again. Depending on how new the cords are it's going to rock. And you CAN NOT be perfect at it. There's no way to manipulate the force to make it look better unless you're willing to hurt yourself (highly unrecomended...) Don't worry about perfect. There is NO SUCH THING. We're only human after all and completely fallible. |
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Well, I'm probably pushing the limits of how much you'll tolerate (fuses seem short here,) so before you decide never to bless this ingrate with any more advice can you answer a question for me? If there was a fellow salesman having trouble making any sales, largely because he didn't know what sells, and for whatever reason you found yourself telling him how you do it what would you say and do you think he could just pick it up any just do it if he really intended to? (SHOKU 2 pages ago LOL)
Sorry it took so long! My patience is limitless if I believe I'm getting somewhere and in this case.... without reward so listen up. If there was a fellow salesman having trouble making sales, largely because he didn't know what sells First I'd smack him upside the head...and say What do you mean you don't know what sells? Get the hell out there and find out ya lazy arse. Wha... ya think you can just hold up a product and everyone comes a runnin? I sell to survive?... as in, my living?... as in, if I want to eat I NEED to sell? It's up to YOU to find out. But find out what? Girl A....likes fast cars, slim guys with big shlongs Girl B....likes dinning out, shopping and honesty Girl C....likes shopping & travelling & big shlongs Girl D....likes travelling, shoes and muscular men YOU tell ME what sells! you're the damn salesman!? Get It? It's not clear cut... go with the flow... BoB and weave I say What are "YOU" looking for? Have objectives! Want to be a playa?... then be aware that playas get played Want to be in love?... Just know when you're in love it isn't ALL ABOUT YOU ANYMORE Want friends? Then offer yourself as a friend One last piece of advice for ya. In your profile you wrote that you sometimes stretch the truth with people who don't dig to much into the story you're telling. You are NOT smart enough to BS or Lie SHOKU... You'd be in trouble with someone like me who enjoys challenging and humiliating people who take others as fools... Get my drift? PS really take note of that last paragraph... Women have a 7th sense... it's called perception and they tweek it constantly as they age.Good luck |
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Wow. I've never seen someone ask for help on their profile, yet be rude to pretty much everyone who has tried to help, yet continue complaining that they're not getting the help they wanted.
We're eight pages in and I haven't figured it out myself but maybe it will just happen if you're patient. Can a "Rate My Profile" thread be to.... Long? Boring? Self absorbing? ridiculous? I know I'm adding to it which the OP is probably smiling about but.... I don't see him in the forums much at all Ya think interaction with others is the real problem and not the profile!? And not the profile at all? Sorry
And I've got some other niche interest forums to occupy myself with so I'm much more social in forums than you would think from looking at this. I don't see how I could be more social on here to the people in my area though. My state's forum is a dead zone and hundreds of messages sent out have left me without any conversations going on. Someone actually initiated contact with me a week ago though. She sent several one line questions to me and then let me know I wasn't her type and has indicated through action that she would prefer not to explain why. I might have been too chatty or it might have been the lack of any mention of drunk partying in my description of what I've been doing. If you didn't have negative thinking this thread would not exist because you wouldn't have to question yourself. If you spend your time wondering why 1,000 women didn't reply back to you then the next 1,000 will do the same. Life is very mysterious that way, it's a test. We're all being tested constantly. As long as you judge yourself by past failures you will never have future successes. I spent half of a year not thinking why they don't respond, half of a year trying to figure out if I could improve things myself in some way, and now however long this thread has gone on seeing if anyone can confirm that I've been doing something wrong or if my judgment has been good.
What's so difficult about it is, let's say see a girl that you like and you're being all positive and tell yourself "I'm going to go up to her and ask her out and she's going to say YES!" then you go up to her and it doesn't work out. The obvious thing to do is to question yourself, wonder why she didn't like you. Whether this thread shows it or not I am mature enough to brush off rejection. Back when I was 16 I couldn't stand to risk a "no" but I've got a much more positive outlook these days.
But the right thing to do is to forget about it like it never happened. Can you stay positive in your mind when outside interactions tells your brain that you shouldn't? It's a challenge. If people were saying no to me here I wouldn't have started this. They're saying nothing and I don't know if that's "no," "I don't log on anymore," or "It's hard to write to people and I can't think of anything." Or other things, you know.
But if you say you tried positive thinking and it didn't work out then you still had negativity in your mind then it was doomed to fail. Never said it was easy, but life isn't easy.
So if you say you were sure you wouldn't fall over on the bike and you did you thought you would fall over from the start- mmm, no, I think the starting out period operates differently.
Remember all of it's just in your mind though. You paint the world you want, if it's a negative one you will get a negative world. The problem is that I know too much about painting someone else's world.
You can only have a positive world if you paint it in your mind.
Alright, I'll start by painting the picture that this thread has been a great success and people are happy they have been involved with it. That's much better.
Sounds like ocd,just throw caution to the wind,once youve done it a few time its fun,do a bungee jump? But ya, I have a really hard time not trying to be perfect at anything new I do. This don't stop me altogether but it slows things down a lot. Well, well, well I CAN help you here. The bouncing is one of the best parts of bungee jumping. It's a jerk sensation then you're being tugged back into the air and falling again. Depending on how new the cords are it's going to rock. And you CAN NOT be perfect at it. There's no way to manipulate the force to make it look better unless you're willing to hurt yourself (highly unrecomended...) Don't worry about perfect. There is NO SUCH THING. We're only human after all and completely fallible. |
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So I think I work better with being asked questions than I do with being given instructions. Would anybody else like to give this a shot that way? God, NO!! That would probably end up being another 8 pages to this thread. My suggestion to you: Forget about on-line dating for awhile. I wouldn't normally advise doing this, but in your case - hit the bars with your friends, get a few drinks in you to loosen up, and make a game out of talking to women. Eventually, maybe one of them will be drunk too, you'll make them laugh, or they will just feel sorry for you, so they'll take you home and bang your brains out. It's about your only hope. Honest to God, you are 23 - stop being so uptight. |
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I'm not all that concerned with screwing someone. Drunken one night stands don't have any appeal to me, crazy huh?
Some of what I'm doing is being intentionally difficulty because people have told me to act like this. They want me to just do things and not doubt myself. Check. They want me to stop being so rude. Check They still want me to stop being rude- no I already did, f_ck them, that doesn't make any sense. Well no, that would be rude, better figure out what mean. Sucks that that's rude too but oh well, I don't mind frustrating people if I can learn how to stop frustrating them. Unfortunately I haven't made much progress since, I think about when Ruth started posting. |
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I'm not all that concerned with screwing someone. Drunken one night stands don't have any appeal to me, crazy huh? Some of what I'm doing is being intentionally difficulty because people have told me to act like this. They want me to just do things and not doubt myself. Check. They want me to stop being so rude. Check They still want me to stop being rude- no I already did, f_ck them, that doesn't make any sense. Well no, that would be rude, better figure out what mean. Sucks that that's rude too but oh well, I don't mind frustrating people if I can learn how to stop frustrating them. Unfortunately I haven't made much progress since, I think about when Ruth started posting. You need social skills. You do not have a likable personality from what you have demonstrated. How do you think you will be able to date? You don't seem to want to change. Why continue this thread? |
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And they thought is was horrific when the Hindenburg exploded.
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I'm not all that concerned with screwing someone. Drunken one night stands don't have any appeal to me, crazy huh? Some of what I'm doing is being intentionally difficulty because people have told me to act like this. They want me to just do things and not doubt myself. Check. They want me to stop being so rude. Check They still want me to stop being rude- no I already did, f_ck them, that doesn't make any sense. Well no, that would be rude, better figure out what mean. Sucks that that's rude too but oh well, I don't mind frustrating people if I can learn how to stop frustrating them. Unfortunately I haven't made much progress since, I think about when Ruth started posting. You need social skills. You do not have a likable personality from what you have demonstrated. How do you think you will be able to date? You don't seem to want to change. Why continue this thread? |
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I'm not all that concerned with screwing someone. Drunken one night stands don't have any appeal to me, crazy huh? Some of what I'm doing is being intentionally difficulty because people have told me to act like this. They want me to just do things and not doubt myself. Check. They want me to stop being so rude. Check They still want me to stop being rude- no I already did, f_ck them, that doesn't make any sense. Well no, that would be rude, better figure out what mean. Sucks that that's rude too but oh well, I don't mind frustrating people if I can learn how to stop frustrating them. Unfortunately I haven't made much progress since, I think about when Ruth started posting. You need social skills. You do not have a likable personality from what you have demonstrated. How do you think you will be able to date? You don't seem to want to change. Why continue this thread? Melody just told you. You're not coming off as being very likable at all. All you're doing is being argumentative. |
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Ok
My last post If ya stop posting and feeding the OP (ya know he's laughing at us all!) It goes away!!! Right? |
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Lewis your a ledgend!o my days!i was going to post but i think its all-over!
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