Oh goodness what have you done to my thread? LOL

all this love bs, this is robbing me of perfectly good pessimism.

Oh goodness what have you done to my thread? LOL

We added flair.

They finish last because they don't exist.

That's like asking why the Easter Bunny doesn't get any dates


What's nice to you?

Is it the same thing that would be considered nice to someone else?

What is NICE? Nice looking? Nice in bed? Nice to your kids?



Can we please grow our vocabulary and find some other words besides nice? And can we please stop using as an excuse as to why we are not successful in the dating world?


If you want to know the secret I will tell you... but you have to ACTUALLY LISTEN....


The secret is confidence, not being a "nice guy" or a "bad boy" as every man has a unique blend of both. The key is to find a woman who is compatible with your unique blend.


The confidence part comes into play when you get shot down but don't give up because you are happy with who you are. If you don't like you then why should we?

That's like asking why the Easter Bunny doesn't get any dates

Thanks, I can always count on you to say just the right thing.

THIS MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU..BUT TO A LOT OF YOU..IT DOES..

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were ****ing treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an ******* than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.

2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ***.

3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've ****ed yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the ******** and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't ****ing want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy

I read it all in depth several times!! My name is Earl. I am 53 and this shows i have been around long enough to see lifes reactions of actions especially in a 5 million city where i am in Houston Texas.

I grew up in the 60's with two older sisters. Me being as young as 13 while one sister was 15 and the other one was 17, i noticed how they had many great great dudes as we called them that would hang around. Both of my sisters would laugh at the guys and demean them and give their attention instead to guys that were sorry ********. Both have had over 3 marriages and one was even murdered by a sorry creep she ran off to Ohio with in 1991 that kicked her ribs in causing her spleen to rupture resulting in her death.

I can look back and being i have a detailed memory that is so good i can even remember the makes and models of cars people had when i was age 5. With this being known of me with my memory, i remember handfulls of damn good guys!!! and my sisters treated them like absolute ****...they were guys that would have made great husbands!!! were physically clean!! But my sisters would label them as boring and not being fun because they did not do outlandish crazy **** and have tatooes or go to jail or bring booze and pills or pot around.

Here's a list by reference and some names of guys that tried and in all cases my sister Cheryl..the now deceased sister treated them like ****

Don Matthews...had a new 73 ford van and would take me and my sister Cheryl to Galveston on weekends for over 2 years and never ask for gas money or anything and was a good good warm human!! He gave up after 2 years because she mocked him and belittled him and he was even a great looking guy.

The guy that serviced the trucks at Skelly truck stop while going to school...Again my sister Cheryl would never take him serious, but instead would involve with guys being several at the time whom would always have booze and get her to live in hope and dream of crazy lies they would con her with. The guy at Skelly truck stop i mentioned was a hell of a nice guy and work oriented and my sister and her friends laughed at him because his idea of a good time was a picnic at the lake on saturday topped off with the local drive inn movies that evening with church so he could introduce her to his other friends on Sunday. My sister Cheryl and her friends labeled this as pansy square jerk and they instead persuaded her to go be with the supposed cool idiots in their parents cars with the booze and fun **** as they described.

I Earl have lived to see them mistreat and mock the nice guys, then the bad nmarrigaes, up until ones death..and sister brought all of that upon herself.

Earl

Nice, clingy...dude. Yeah, sounds real fun, I'm sure every girl here would love a dude that is a carpet for her to walk on and follows her everywhere regardless of whether or not she wants them too. Nice guys don't exist because they are really only nice by their own merit, I used to be one of those guys...it sucked, so I quit, now I don't care and do what I want without cause or concern. I think the problem really is that these "nice guys" need someone, whereas I once did...I no longer do, a compliment would be nice sure. But I need no one, just food, water, and shelter.

Maybe that is what is wrong? Attach yourself that much to another person and sooner or later you lose grasp of yourself as you fade into an empty oblivion alone, eventually no one really wants to hang out with you because you hitch onto the all-to-classic phrase "nice guys finish last" which is really just a catch slogan for those that don't bother to try anymore and are still living for that lost love that wasn't interested in them in the first place. See, I can write long paragraphs too, this is fun.

This may not apply to you, but it does apply to a lot of "nice guys". You cannot for whatever reason in your own mind deem yourself as anything beit "nice" or "mean", etc. That is in someone else's hands, we don't label ourselves...other people do that well enough on their own and I'd rather not give them any assistance in putting some silly dumb name over my head like I'm a goat to the slaughter. Which brings me to another problem with these "nice guys", you guys really like labels, don't you? I've seen some so needy of a label they even labeled themselves jackasses to a girl (probably moreso as a call to attention for the all to famous "no you're not"). Either way it is rather irritating after awhile, and I'm sure you would love for someone to follow you around putting themselves at your feet so you don't get your slacks wet...but these are big people we are talking about...not four year olds.

They finish last because they don't exist.

THIS MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU..BUT TO A LOT OF YOU..IT DOES..

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were ****ing treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an ******* than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.

2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ***.

3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've ****ed yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the ******** and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't ****ing want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy

I read it all in depth several times!! My name is Earl. I am 53 and this shows i have been around long enough to see lifes reactions of actions especially in a 5 million city where i am in Houston Texas.

I grew up in the 60's with two older sisters. Me being as young as 13 while one sister was 15 and the other one was 17, i noticed how they had many great great dudes as we called them that would hang around. Both of my sisters would laugh at the guys and demean them and give their attention instead to guys that were sorry ********. Both have had over 3 marriages and one was even murdered by a sorry creep she ran off to Ohio with in 1991 that kicked her ribs in causing her spleen to rupture resulting in her death.

I can look back and being i have a detailed memory that is so good i can even remember the makes and models of cars people had when i was age 5. With this being known of me with my memory, i remember handfulls of damn good guys!!! and my sisters treated them like absolute ****...they were guys that would have made great husbands!!! were physically clean!! But my sisters would label them as boring and not being fun because they did not do outlandish crazy **** and have tatooes or go to jail or bring booze and pills or pot around.

Here's a list by reference and some names of guys that tried and in all cases my sister Cheryl..the now deceased sister treated them like ****

Don Matthews...had a new 73 ford van and would take me and my sister Cheryl to Galveston on weekends for over 2 years and never ask for gas money or anything and was a good good warm human!! He gave up after 2 years because she mocked him and belittled him and he was even a great looking guy.

The guy that serviced the trucks at Skelly truck stop while going to school...Again my sister Cheryl would never take him serious, but instead would involve with guys being several at the time whom would always have booze and get her to live in hope and dream of crazy lies they would con her with. The guy at Skelly truck stop i mentioned was a hell of a nice guy and work oriented and my sister and her friends laughed at him because his idea of a good time was a picnic at the lake on saturday topped off with the local drive inn movies that evening with church so he could introduce her to his other friends on Sunday. My sister Cheryl and her friends labeled this as pansy square jerk and they instead persuaded her to go be with the supposed cool idiots in their parents cars with the booze and fun **** as they described.

I Earl have lived to see them mistreat and mock the nice guys, then the bad nmarrigaes, up until ones death..and sister brought all of that upon herself.

Earl