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| Topic: ganging up on newbies | |
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Edited by
Moblodite
on
Fri 07/31/09 10:45 AM
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Being rude and insulting, ganging up on anyone, even in defense of yourself, is against the Forum Rules. The best way to handle it is to either report the post or alert a moderator to the thread so they can handle it. *Edit* I wanted to add, it is the job of the mods and Admin to take care of issues of problem threads/members. It is not for the members here to handle.  I've been a very very bad boy and I need to be Handled Well, it just so happens that there's a special on spankin's today... That's alright...I got this  I just love a good cat fight How many post does it take to no longer be considered a newbie?? I read a lot of profiles, trying to get to know people a bit, most say that they like to laugh and have a good sense of humor..Yet only a few seem to know how to take a joke and join in. Life is already way too serious and I mostly come here to relax and laugh. Another problem is... So many here are TAKEN. and with so many being taken, it ticks people off when we flirt with their partner. Not everyone is going to read every profile before chatting/ flirting with someone.....In fact very few will. So right off the bat... bad feelings can easily be created. Yes it is nice to know that the site works, but at some point it becomes less of a SINGLES site. and more of a friends only site. Lastly... being a singles site.. shouldn't others kind of expect to be flirted with?? Many seem to get offended when flirted with  That is kind of like going to a dry cleaners to get a carry out meal. Or like going to a veterinarian for human health care.. although.. that would be the wise choice for those who are ostriches, goats or monkeys !! |
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Being rude and insulting, ganging up on anyone, even in defense of yourself, is against the Forum Rules. The best way to handle it is to either report the post or alert a moderator to the thread so they can handle it. *Edit* I wanted to add, it is the job of the mods and Admin to take care of issues of problem threads/members. It is not for the members here to handle. I've been a very very bad boy and I need to be Handled Well, it just so happens that there's a special on spankin's today... That's alright...I got this I just love a good cat fight How many post does it take to no longer be considered a newbie?? I read a lot of profiles, trying to get to know people a bit, most say that they like to laugh and have a good sense of humor..Yet only a few seem to know how to take a joke and join in. Life is already way too serious and I mostly come here to relax and laugh. Another problem is... So many here are TAKEN. and with so many being taken, it ticks people off when we flirt with their partner. Not everyone is going to read every profile before chatting/ flirting with someone.....In fact very few will. So right off the bat... bad feelings can easily be created. Yes it is nice to know that the site works, but at some point it becomes less of a SINGLES site. and more of a friends only site. Lastly... being a singles site.. shouldn't others kind of expect to be flirted with?? Many seem to get offended when flirted with That is kind of like going to a dry cleaners to get a carry out meal. Or like going to a veterinarian for human health care.. although.. that would be the wise choice for those who are ostriches, goats or monkeys !! Well, I guess it depends on whether or not you care about insulting people. If you do, try reading their profiles first, before you flirt with them. If you don't, prepare to suffer the consequences of flirting with someone who's not interested in you. As for people "expecting to be flirted with" that might be true, but you should also expect to get shot down if they're not interested; I don't welcome flirting from every man who tries it, simply because I'm a woman and he's a man, there should be more to it than that. There should be boundaries, and factors about the other person should be taken into consideration. Especially if I don't know you. It's the same in real life, if a strange man who's vastly different from me flirts with me, he's going to get his feelings hurt. |
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Being rude and insulting, ganging up on anyone, even in defense of yourself, is against the Forum Rules. The best way to handle it is to either report the post or alert a moderator to the thread so they can handle it. *Edit* I wanted to add, it is the job of the mods and Admin to take care of issues of problem threads/members. It is not for the members here to handle. I've been a very very bad boy and I need to be Handled Well, it just so happens that there's a special on spankin's today... That's alright...I got this I just love a good cat fight How many post does it take to no longer be considered a newbie?? I read a lot of profiles, trying to get to know people a bit, most say that they like to laugh and have a good sense of humor..Yet only a few seem to know how to take a joke and join in. Life is already way too serious and I mostly come here to relax and laugh. Another problem is... So many here are TAKEN. and with so many being taken, it ticks people off when we flirt with their partner. Not everyone is going to read every profile before chatting/ flirting with someone.....In fact very few will. So right off the bat... bad feelings can easily be created. Yes it is nice to know that the site works, but at some point it becomes less of a SINGLES site. and more of a friends only site. Lastly... being a singles site.. shouldn't others kind of expect to be flirted with?? Many seem to get offended when flirted with That is kind of like going to a dry cleaners to get a carry out meal. Or like going to a veterinarian for human health care.. although.. that would be the wise choice for those who are ostriches, goats or monkeys !! It doesn't take much to figure out how is seeing someone and who is single. You also cannot expect everyone to welcome flirting from everyone who tries. It just doesn't work that way. |
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Being rude and insulting, ganging up on anyone, even in defense of yourself, is against the Forum Rules. The best way to handle it is to either report the post or alert a moderator to the thread so they can handle it. *Edit* I wanted to add, it is the job of the mods and Admin to take care of issues of problem threads/members. It is not for the members here to handle. I've been a very very bad boy and I need to be Handled Well, it just so happens that there's a special on spankin's today... That's alright...I got this I just love a good cat fight How many post does it take to no longer be considered a newbie?? I read a lot of profiles, trying to get to know people a bit, most say that they like to laugh and have a good sense of humor..Yet only a few seem to know how to take a joke and join in. Life is already way too serious and I mostly come here to relax and laugh. Another problem is... So many here are TAKEN. and with so many being taken, it ticks people off when we flirt with their partner. Not everyone is going to read every profile before chatting/ flirting with someone.....In fact very few will. So right off the bat... bad feelings can easily be created. Yes it is nice to know that the site works, but at some point it becomes less of a SINGLES site. and more of a friends only site. Lastly... being a singles site.. shouldn't others kind of expect to be flirted with?? Many seem to get offended when flirted with That is kind of like going to a dry cleaners to get a carry out meal. Or like going to a veterinarian for human health care.. although.. that would be the wise choice for those who are ostriches, goats or monkeys !! Well, I guess it depends on whether or not you care about insulting people. If you do, try reading their profiles first, before you flirt with them. If you don't, prepare to suffer the consequences of flirting with someone who's not interested in you. As for people "expecting to be flirted with" that might be true, but you should also expect to get shot down if they're not interested; I don't welcome flirting from every man who tries it, simply because I'm a woman and he's a man, there should be more to it than that. There should be boundaries, and factors about the other person should be taken into consideration. Especially if I don't know you. It's the same in real life, if a strange man who's vastly different from me flirts with me, he's going to get his feelings hurt. I personally am not having a problem here and I hope that I am reading this a bit wrong, with so many you,, you,, you in your reply it looks like you are pointing it directly at me? As I said, I do read the profiles. but to many newbies.. this is like starting a new job. going to make a lot of mistakes at first. shouldn't those be given time to learn? or should they just be fired on the first day? |
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Being rude and insulting, ganging up on anyone, even in defense of yourself, is against the Forum Rules. The best way to handle it is to either report the post or alert a moderator to the thread so they can handle it. *Edit* I wanted to add, it is the job of the mods and Admin to take care of issues of problem threads/members. It is not for the members here to handle. I've been a very very bad boy and I need to be Handled Well, it just so happens that there's a special on spankin's today... That's alright...I got this I just love a good cat fight How many post does it take to no longer be considered a newbie?? I read a lot of profiles, trying to get to know people a bit, most say that they like to laugh and have a good sense of humor..Yet only a few seem to know how to take a joke and join in. Life is already way too serious and I mostly come here to relax and laugh. Another problem is... So many here are TAKEN. and with so many being taken, it ticks people off when we flirt with their partner. Not everyone is going to read every profile before chatting/ flirting with someone.....In fact very few will. So right off the bat... bad feelings can easily be created. Yes it is nice to know that the site works, but at some point it becomes less of a SINGLES site. and more of a friends only site. Lastly... being a singles site.. shouldn't others kind of expect to be flirted with?? Many seem to get offended when flirted with That is kind of like going to a dry cleaners to get a carry out meal. Or like going to a veterinarian for human health care.. although.. that would be the wise choice for those who are ostriches, goats or monkeys !! It doesn't take much to figure out how is seeing someone and who is single. You also cannot expect everyone to welcome flirting from everyone who tries. It just doesn't work that way. 2 werds Singles site, dating site. The average joe /joan would automatically expect SINGLES to be here. and again, I know the drill here.. BUT.. many newbies don't. |
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Being "fired" the first day is sometimes approriate when someone comes in with a nasty abusive attitude. Not then no.
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Edited by
Moblodite
on
Fri 07/31/09 11:50 AM
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Being "fired" the first day is sometimes approriate when someone comes in with a nasty abusive attitude. Not then no. I think the gallows should be saved for those who use multiple profiles just to be nasty and yes.. there are a FEW of the extreme. But as was said.. that is the job of the MODs.. not for pack attacks?! |
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Being a newbie doesn't necessarily have a whole lot to do with it. Many young 20-somethings, predominantly male, who sign up on this SOCIAL site come onto the forums with all the arrogance in the world, acting like they own the dump. There are often many times that a newbie will sign up here thinking this is AdultFriendFinder with their very first post/thread. The bottom line is, regardless if it's a newbie or a veteran, if someone comes on the boards acting like a d!ck, they will in turn be treated as such. I have never apologized for taking someone to task who desperately needed it, and I refuse to play Pollyanna just for the sake of not hurting somebody's little feelers. If they have it coming, I'll be happy to give it to them, and that goes not only for online, but in the real world as well. I don't suffer fools well. If that is considered rude, then so be it, but I will not apologize for that. What you sow, so shall you reap, and I'd rather take a stand for something than fall for anything. when a newb makes a thread lamenting the plight of "nice guys" have you ever noticed how he/she will most likely be met with intense mockery and sarcasm? do you think they deserve it? |
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If a newbie comes in and is nice I will make every effort to make them feel welcome. I try to respond to all threads in the spirit they seem to be posted. If someone comes in and asks a legit question even if it is redundent I try to answer. Even encourage them to think at several angels. If they come in acting like they are doing the site some big favor lowering themselves to be here or start off whineing or bashing a previous relationship or the opposite sex in a public forum because they are too cowardly to do it in person or can't get away with it there it isn't going to pass by me here either. Newbie or other wise a post that asks a question better be ready for the answer. You have to be an adult if you are here and if you open your mouth and are just showing your Arse I really don't care if I use reason and pointing out another view to expose that. As hostile and brutal as that seems it really is an opportunity for that person to have a perspective that they rarely get when no one puts the mirror to their words. Calling names or curseing them or even ignoreing them has no effect. Sometimes attacking the behavior, and not the person, changes the behavior, sometimes it doesn't. It is a fine line to walk and I am sure I have stumbled off a time or two so to those whos toes get inadvertently stepped on I humbely apologize. But one thing it doesn't do is let it go unchallenged so that it is repeated over and over. When it doesn't turn aorund the OP sometimes the only lesson is to be learned are those who watch from the sidelines. To me makes it worth the effort. I don't think a friend lets what needs to be challenged just go by. To me Mingle is a collective friend and even the ones I find hard to like at the moment gets what I think is fair. Some times that is a hug sometimes it is a slap on the behind. If stateing and opposeing opinion is considered a slap on the behind by and OP and they check themself then it is not and attack any more than ignoreing or even posting like opinions is necessarily endoresing the original post. I totally agree with letting Mods deal with abusive posts or posts that violate the rules. I don't thank that means laying down and ignoreing when someone floats a premis that is full of holes. |
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2 werds Singles site, dating site. The average joe /joan would automatically expect SINGLES to be here. and again, I know the drill here.. BUT.. many newbies don't. They'll figure it out soon enough, won't they? 
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Being "fired" the first day is sometimes approriate when someone comes in with a nasty abusive attitude. Not then no. But as was said.. that is the job of the MODs.. not for pack attacks?! 
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2 werds Singles site, dating site. The average joe /joan would automatically expect SINGLES to be here. and again, I know the drill here.. BUT.. many newbies don't. the average joe/joan wouldn't necessarily flirt with any and every tom/d!ck and harry, would they? if they do, they come across, to me anyway, as icky and slutty, and i wouldn't give them the time of day. if someone interested me, newbie or not, i'd look at their profile and try to gain some information about them. if they weren't single, there'd probably be some indication of it. |
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If a newbie comes in and is nice I will make every effort to make them feel welcome. I try to respond to all threads in the spirit they seem to be posted. If someone comes in and asks a legit question even if it is redundent I try to answer. Even encourage them to think at several angels. If they come in acting like they are doing the site some big favor lowering themselves to be here or start off whineing or bashing a previous relationship or the opposite sex in a public forum because they are too cowardly to do it in person or can't get away with it there it isn't going to pass by me here either. Newbie or other wise a post that asks a question better be ready for the answer. You have to be an adult if you are here and if you open your mouth and are just showing your Arse I really don't care if I use reason and pointing out another view to expose that. As hostile and brutal as that seems it really is an opportunity for that person to have a perspective that they rarely get when no one puts the mirror to their words. Calling names or curseing them or even ignoreing them has no effect. Sometimes attacking the behavior, and not the person, changes the behavior, sometimes it doesn't. It is a fine line to walk and I am sure I have stumbled off a time or two so to those whos toes get inadvertently stepped on I humbely apologize. But one thing it doesn't do is let it go unchallenged so that it is repeated over and over. When it doesn't turn aorund the OP sometimes the only lesson is to be learned are those who watch from the sidelines. To me makes it worth the effort. I don't think a friend lets what needs to be challenged just go by. To me Mingle is a collective friend and even the ones I find hard to like at the moment gets what I think is fair. Some times that is a hug sometimes it is a slap on the behind. If stateing and opposeing opinion is considered a slap on the behind by and OP and they check themself then it is not and attack any more than ignoreing or even posting like opinions is necessarily endoresing the original post. I totally agree with letting Mods deal with abusive posts or posts that violate the rules. I don't thank that means laying down and ignoreing when someone floats a premis that is full of holes. No one is expecting anyone to take abuse from newbies or anyone else. There's a system in place so that you can report inappropriate posts/topics, or you have the option of contacting a mod directly. |
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What I'm finding as a theme is folks expecting folks to act and react in accordance with their own standards. Not your call. All any of are expected to do, which is really quite simple to my way of thinking, is follow the Forum Rules....easey-peasey.
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everyone was nice to me but some guy's would ask me the size of my boob's and if i would have sex on the first date
 but for the most part it's all good i love it here 
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Being a newbie doesn't necessarily have a whole lot to do with it. Many young 20-somethings, predominantly male, who sign up on this SOCIAL site come onto the forums with all the arrogance in the world, acting like they own the dump. There are often many times that a newbie will sign up here thinking this is AdultFriendFinder with their very first post/thread. The bottom line is, regardless if it's a newbie or a veteran, if someone comes on the boards acting like a d!ck, they will in turn be treated as such. I have never apologized for taking someone to task who desperately needed it, and I refuse to play Pollyanna just for the sake of not hurting somebody's little feelers. Who's this Pollyanna chic and where can I meet her? |
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But seriously, who is this Pollyanna? She sounds sweet.
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But seriously, who is this Pollyanna? She sounds sweet. C'mon now. somebody take the bait. |
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But seriously, who is this Pollyanna? She sounds sweet. C'mon now. somebody take the bait. See, yall are all ganging up on me because I'm a newbie and my joke wasn't very funny. |
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Edited by
jerseygirlSINGLE
on
Fri 07/31/09 01:29 PM
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Idk
 i need some bait for fishing
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