We use online dating? One of my "friends", who is no longer, and who I only knew online, ignored me for a long time. And finally I got through to her for some honesty and closure, and she just told me I was a freak for having a crush on her and never even seeing her, and that it was pathetic and i was a loser.

I politely responded that I don't care what someone looks like I liked you for your personality/interests...But that doesn't matter really, to her or to anyone but myself. I know who I am and I don't need her to tell me what I am or am not, only I know.

That said...How pathetic is it? How much of a loser freak am I for having a crush on someone I considered a friend that I had never seen?\

Or was she just the outlier and online dating has become pretty normal in the current times?

I think your friend has issues with it, and projected it on you.
Maybe she feels like a loser for 'Having to resort to the internet' to find a date.
I am way old school and I think its fine.

A lot of people view it as fantasy, like an RPG. But truth is there are real people on the other end of the conversation with personalities and emotions. On-line dating is only pathetic if the person you are talking to is just playing a game.

I have to clarify that even though we only knew each other online (via an online video game), and even though we spoke in any way you can speak, she hasn't used a dating site to my knowledge...I only knew her through a video game

True...I had just never thought that she would think to spurn me and our friendship because she thought I was a freak and a loser because I had a crush on her yet only knew her online.

i dont think your a loser freak

She is weird.

I just see online dating as another option for trying to meet people. Let's face it, it can be a difficult thing to try to do, and it's always better to have another option.

Me personally, I'm too paranoid and cynical to have a crush on anyone who hasn't already brought me Pepsi and done my laundry, but I do know what it's like to feel attached to someone you haven't yet met in person. I had it happen once.

And, let me tell you, THAT turned out BADLY. It took about 10 years, but it was a real catastrophe in the end.

I don't think it's "pathetic" though. Not at all. I think most of us would really like to be able to get attached to someone, and it's just too easy sometimes to be drawn into the illusions....

Aren't we all

But yea I was a bit shocked that is why I was asking about this

But it does work better when there is face time with the person.

You are not a freak she is an outlier just some ppl aren't used to the whole online concept...but if it progresses to more than just talking online to the phone than perhaps it's more than a crush...talking solely online does not make you pathetic

Just believe in yourself.. Do not believe what others tells you because you are who you are and how you become because of YOU not because of others. Just continue what you do and believe and if I were you, move on and forget her. She doesn't deserve friendship from you.

No disrespect intended here... I have a question...

well probably many...

What else went on?

How was your 'crush' shown?

Why the silence for so long?

I am just wondering is all... this is all the information we have...your edited version...(edited so it didn't end up a war and peace type post)..

How could anyone make an assumption with such limited information...???

She may not be weird, she may be scared of an obsessive stalkery type.

She may have anjoyed the attention without the commitment...and has found a newer shinier version, so you are cast aside..

there are many facets to this, and we are hearing but one side of it.

Just forget you know her. She doesn't deserve your friendship. Just find someonelse. I am available... you can start with me...

Not anymore pathetic then dating face to face. It is really all the same, and considering this is free you really are pulling more in for the investment of time. A good few people have made relationships work online, which if I actually had a statistical average I would assume wouldn't be much different than dating "in real life"...though I hardly think online dating is some kind of "dating in a virtual life" as for the most part we portray ourselves according to who we are.

You can get scammed in real life, you can get your heart broken in real life, you can find love in real life...nothing is different here, there are just a few more luxories given in the online world.

It's just another way to connect to people. We are more and more busy. Life is more and more hectic. Some of use have a great many activities going on away from the computer. But sometimes we just need to unwind, at home, where we can totally relax. But we still want to converse. Since we are such a computerized society, it is logical that we build as many friendships with people online as we do outside our four walls.

We adapt to a new world. Nothing wrong with it.

Haha thanks. I did, I told her goodbye and that was it. As to the previous poster jess, this is going to sound geeky.

She and I both played a video game called world of warcraft, in same guild, progressed through the game together and with others. She was a new player and I was one of her first friends in the game. Then after we talked more we both realized we were the same age and had similar interests.

My crush wasn't really shown, aside from me telling her at some point I thought i had a crush on her, which made her blush. I didn't do anything weird though, just kept being her friend.

Silence for so long because she left our guild in game, and we just stopped talking.

Like a lot of younger people she has moved on to a different stage of her life. You were part of the old stage so she gave you the stern brush off. ie "I'm not like that anymore, you are so you are a loser" get it?

pathetic? ...no

unwise? ...perhaps

If online dating and liking someone you've never met is pathetic, then I must be one of the biggest losers in the world. I've met someone on this site, still have yet to meet her in person, and absolutely adore her. I'm going crazy waiting for the chance to meet her in person.

In essence, if you talk to somebody enough, have great conversations, get along fine, and really enjoy the time you spend with that person; whether it be online, phone, or whatever besides actually getting the pleasure of meeting face to face, then there's nothing at all wrong with crushing somebody online.

Your friend seems to have some sort of stigma against it as a lot of people do, is not very open minded to the idea, or is hypocritical. But what I'd wonder about is why she is trying to meet people online then having some sort of aversion to having a crush on someone or someone having a crush on her. Did you meet her on a dating site? Or somehow else?

If you actually didn't meet her on a dating site, then it might not be too odd for her, in her own mind, to think that having a crush on her was weird. But hell, lots of people have crushes on people they're never going to meet, such as a celebrity crush, just because a guy looks alright and plays a guitar. Other than that, they know nothing about the person.

So who's the shallow one here? Someone who looks for looks combined with a single known talent? Or someone who cares nothing about looks and falls for a person based on good conversation? In my humble, ranting, opinion, she showed some true colors by calling you a freak and you're probably better off without her.

Sorry for the rant. The end.