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| Topic: Insecurities | |
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I don't know about conquering insecurities but I finally just got tired of it really. I was just over feeling that way so I stopped.... I found solace in the fact that I have so many people in my life who love me exactly the way I am How did you stop? Was it really that easy? Cuz I've been working on it for almost a decade now. With great results, but it's been far from easy. Used to feel weird about being short (5'5"), whether it was playing ball, finding compatible women, or feel sexually adequate. I cant say I dont still have doubts at times, but I cant change this so I have found ways to make it work to my advantage. Being short gives me the ability to do an obstacle course like a monkey, both speed and aerobic ability greater than my 6'5" buds. Sometimes people have looked at me as weak, yet strength does not rely on muscle (mass or endurance) but knowledge too has power, such as knowing pressure points, angles for leverage, etc. Feeling doubtful about satisfying a woman has lead me to research and discover new ways to increase this, and even so far as to providing complete ecstasy without even beginning actual intercourse. Oh, and I really dont like the amount of hair slowly covering my body. Overall, my dude Lion got it nailed down. These things can help us learn about ourselves and how to succeed in areas some may not even have the opportunity to, whether its because of our actual insecurities or simply the mental desire to push past something another person does not give the thought or will to do. End of the day, there are people who look past these things and some who even can completely eliminate them... ahh the power of love. That's how I got over my ADHD. Never took meds, just learned how to use it to my advantage.  MAJOR props babe. Studying about sex? Yeah... I've done that too. It helps a lot in the sexual insecurity department, even physicality. I may not have a rockin body, but I can give you a blowjob that'll make you cry tears of joy! I shave. A lot.  but I'm not a cougar... What's your definition of cougar? |
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Edited by
Ladylid2012
on
Sun 07/26/09 01:40 PM
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an older woman who is interested in younger men...is my definition of cougar.
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an older woman who is interested in younger men...is my definition of cougar. You could always become one 
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My biggest insecurity is getting into another realtionship with another woman.I lost my wife 2 &1/2 years ago. I really don`t think that I would be doing a comparison between a new girlfriend and my wife. But that insecurity is still there if something happens.
Another insecurity of mine is. I have lost 4 jobs ( 3 in job closings and this one due to a possible permanent layoff) in 40 years of working.The last job I just lost, I was there for 20 years. I`m almost too old to start out as the "new" kid on the block again. |
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Like most women my biggest insecurity would be my belly...stretch marks and all...even though I have lost 40 pounds since I left my ex...yeah me! I am secure enough to know that every woman is beautiful no matter what her size or shape.
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Edited by
snarkytwain
on
Sun 07/26/09 01:47 PM
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Thanks, Snarky! You're really sweet! I wish I could find a *cure* for mine.... There's always a cure, but 99% of the time it includes the fear itself. Like, OK, we all know that inoculations are actually a tiny part of the disease itself, which gives your immune system the ability to learn how to fight it off (which is why I don't sanitize my kids' whole world, but I digress). This is the same. You have to "medicate" yourself with bits of what scares you, bit by bit, before you're no longer afraid. My friend Randy told me the way he got over the fear of talking to pretty girls was by going up to every girl he thought was pretty in the mall and saying hi. Now, most can't take THAT big a dose, but you get the idea. I don't mean that insecure people want other people's attention. I'm saying that insecure people place too much attention upon themselves. Insecure people place themselves in the centre on their universe. I'll give you that. Wholeheartedly. Sad thing is, so many people don't even realize that, which is a big part of the problem. an older woman who is interested in younger men... See, not me. I see a cougar as an older woman who is secure in her sexuality and femininity. An older woman who is strong and confident. THAT'S what the younger men like about them. She may or may not take advantage of that interest, but it's who she is, not what she wants. |
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Like most women my biggest insecurity would be my belly...stretch marks and all...even though I have lost 40 pounds since I left my ex...yeah me! I am secure enough to know that every woman is beautiful no matter what her size or shape. Three cheers for Cherie!!!!  That's a good idea for a cure, Snarky..Hmmm I'll have to think about what my dosage might consist of... |
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My biggest insecurity is getting into another realtionship with another woman.I lost my wife 2 &1/2 years ago. I really don`t think that I would be doing a comparison between a new girlfriend and my wife. But that insecurity is still there if something happens. Another insecurity of mine is. I have lost 4 jobs ( 3 in job closings and this one due to a possible permanent layoff) in 40 years of working.The last job I just lost, I was there for 20 years. I`m almost too old to start out as the "new" kid on the block again. We all compare current relationships to past ones. The healthy way to do this is to learn from our mistakes. The unheathy way is to allow it to come between you and her. Chose the healthy route. The job loss thing isn't a personal issue, it's a major economic issue. MANY people have no jobs, including me, and so many of us should have a job, meaning we have skills and brains and will to work, but... So if anyone can use that against you, she doesn't understand the world at. all. As for being afraid of getting a new job, I'm with ya there. I SO fit in at my old school where I taught. It was awesome. But then I had to leave because the commute was FAR too far. And I got a new job where I was NOT AT ALL "in"... the entire time I worked there. It was almost a relief when I was let go. Course, that set my current course of going to school so I can teach in public school. All things can be used for good. Like most women my biggest insecurity would be my belly...stretch marks and all...even though I have lost 40 pounds since I left my ex...yeah me! I am secure enough to know that every woman is beautiful no matter what her size or shape. Agreed! But at least we have to dress in a non-slutty way, right?
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Edited by
Kleisto
on
Sun 07/26/09 02:06 PM
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I have quite a few insecurities, physical and not.
Physically: I don't always care for my smile, have a hard time doing it naturally seemingly. I don't care for my stomach/weight, my family has at times gotten on me about it, mentioning how I have a gut on me, or in my dad's case calling me a tub in the past (though not in some time). Lastly, much as I hate to admit it, I'm very insecure about my size or lack there of down below. I feel like I'm not good enough in this regard at times, my ex girlfriend complaining about it didn't help matters much. In general I just have a hard time seeing myself as that attractive really. Even if others have seen me different, I struggle to see it sometimes. Emotionally: I'm insecure about my past, things I've done I wish I hadn't particularly in a sexual sense , viewing women as objects at times in different forms, not caring about the person as much as the body or what they can do for me. I don't like that person in me, and it's been there a great many years. I know deep down it isn't me, but it feels like it sometimes, and it bothers me, especially when it comes to seeking relationships knowing I have that past. I feel like I'm behind in some ways, struggling to find a job, no driver's license yet, living at home at 21, etc etc. I see all these other people doing different things, yet I'm not, and I feel like I should be. I get down on myself sometimes to that end, as I feel like I'm just not good enough, or that there's something wrong with me. My family hasn't always helped to this end either. I suppose I'm insecure about being alone too, feeling accepted and understood for who I am. There are some out there that do understand me, what I believe and how I see things, but for those that do there are many that don't as well. It makes it hard for me to get out there in the world, I feel like I can't relate to a lot of people my age, as many are into partying, drinking, sex, etc, and I just never was like that (my own issues aside). So instead I spend a lot of time on my own, I really only hang out with one friend on any consistent basis around here, others I knew have sort of faded away since high school. Sorry this was so long, just have a lot of issues I guess. |
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hello snarky my dear guess who i am
any way going back to the vain post,basically my weight its a daily struggle not to go back and big out and not care what i was putting in my body now that ive been eating right i still struggle with body issues but its getting better |
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I used to be very insecure about my height. Even in high school when I was in my prime physically as an athlete, I slouched. I wore huge baggy clothing and did everything I could to try to minimize the fact that I felt like a linebacker. It didn't help that my best friend referred to me as Amazon, and I was always told that I would never get a date because no man wants to go out with a woman who could beat him in a wrestling match.
As I've gotten older, I've become far more accepting of myself. I am not now, nor will I ever be, a size 2. If people don't like the way my body is shaped, the simple answer would be for them not to look. I know that I am healthy, active, and not far off from the ideal weight for my build, so I no longer worry about things like that. I also discovered that I got asked out a LOT more once I became confident in who I am, lol. There's a lot of truth to the "confidence is sexy" statement :) |
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I have quite a few insecurities, physical and not. Physically: I don't always care for my smile, have a hard time doing it naturally seemingly. I don't care for my stomach/weight, my family has at times gotten on me about it, mentioning how I have a gut on me, or in my dad's case calling me a tub in the past (though not in some time). Lastly, much as I hate to admit it, I'm very insecure about my size or lack there of down below. I feel like I'm not good enough in this regard at times, my ex girlfriend complaining about it didn't help matters much. In general I just have a hard time seeing myself as that attractive really. Even if others have seen me different, I struggle to see it sometimes. Emotionally: I'm insecure about my past, things I've done I wish I hadn't particularly in a sexual sense , viewing women as objects at times in different forms, not caring about the person as much as the body or what they can do for me. I don't like that person in me, and it's been there a great many years. I know deep down it isn't me, but it feels like it sometimes, and it bothers me, especially when it comes to seeking relationships knowing I have that past. I feel like I'm behind in some ways, struggling to find a job, no driver's license yet, living at home at 21, etc etc. I see all these other people doing different things, yet I'm not, and I feel like I should be. I get down on myself sometimes to that end, as I feel like I'm just not good enough, or that there's something wrong with me. My family hasn't always helped to this end either. I suppose I'm insecure about being alone too, feeling accepted and understood for who I am. There are some out there that do understand me, what I believe and how I see things, but for those that do there are many that don't as well. It makes it hard for me to get out there in the world, I feel like I can't relate to a lot of people my age, as many are into partying, drinking, sex, etc, and I just never was like that (my own issues aside). So instead I spend a lot of time on my own, I really only hang out with one friend on any consistent basis around here, others I knew have sort of faded away since high school. Sorry this was so long, just have a lot of issues I guess. Nothing wrong with issues, we all have them. I admire you for being brave enough to admit them.
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I have to say I don't have any insecurities. Over the years, yeah, I think I did, but I have never let them rule me. Saying you are too heavy, too thin, blah blah ... is not healthy, and compared to who?? I never did understand that.
My mother instilled in me an incredible gift, and that was loving who I am. She told me that at any given time my perception of "who I am " will change, but to always love who you are at that moment. I have been blessed in this regard. Confidence and security with who you are is what I hope everyone will achieve. |
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Edited by
Kleisto
on
Sun 07/26/09 02:16 PM
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I have quite a few insecurities, physical and not. Physically: I don't always care for my smile, have a hard time doing it naturally seemingly. I don't care for my stomach/weight, my family has at times gotten on me about it, mentioning how I have a gut on me, or in my dad's case calling me a tub in the past (though not in some time). Lastly, much as I hate to admit it, I'm very insecure about my size or lack there of down below. I feel like I'm not good enough in this regard at times, my ex girlfriend complaining about it didn't help matters much. In general I just have a hard time seeing myself as that attractive really. Even if others have seen me different, I struggle to see it sometimes. Emotionally: I'm insecure about my past, things I've done I wish I hadn't particularly in a sexual sense , viewing women as objects at times in different forms, not caring about the person as much as the body or what they can do for me. I don't like that person in me, and it's been there a great many years. I know deep down it isn't me, but it feels like it sometimes, and it bothers me, especially when it comes to seeking relationships knowing I have that past. I feel like I'm behind in some ways, struggling to find a job, no driver's license yet, living at home at 21, etc etc. I see all these other people doing different things, yet I'm not, and I feel like I should be. I get down on myself sometimes to that end, as I feel like I'm just not good enough, or that there's something wrong with me. My family hasn't always helped to this end either. I suppose I'm insecure about being alone too, feeling accepted and understood for who I am. There are some out there that do understand me, what I believe and how I see things, but for those that do there are many that don't as well. It makes it hard for me to get out there in the world, I feel like I can't relate to a lot of people my age, as many are into partying, drinking, sex, etc, and I just never was like that (my own issues aside). So instead I spend a lot of time on my own, I really only hang out with one friend on any consistent basis around here, others I knew have sort of faded away since high school. Sorry this was so long, just have a lot of issues I guess. Nothing wrong with issues, we all have them. I admire you for being brave enough to admit them. Thanks, I generally don't hide much really these days. Suppose that can be good, and bad at the same time depending. |
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I have quite a few insecurities, physical and not. Physically: I don't always care for my smile, have a hard time doing it naturally seemingly. I don't care for my stomach/weight, my family has at times gotten on me about it, mentioning how I have a gut on me, or in my dad's case calling me a tub in the past (though not in some time). Lastly, much as I hate to admit it, I'm very insecure about my size or lack there of down below. I feel like I'm not good enough in this regard at times, my ex girlfriend complaining about it didn't help matters much. In general I just have a hard time seeing myself as that attractive really. Even if others have seen me different, I struggle to see it sometimes. Emotionally: I'm insecure about my past, things I've done I wish I hadn't particularly in a sexual sense , viewing women as objects at times in different forms, not caring about the person as much as the body or what they can do for me. I don't like that person in me, and it's been there a great many years. I know deep down it isn't me, but it feels like it sometimes, and it bothers me, especially when it comes to seeking relationships knowing I have that past. I feel like I'm behind in some ways, struggling to find a job, no driver's license yet, living at home at 21, etc etc. I see all these other people doing different things, yet I'm not, and I feel like I should be. I get down on myself sometimes to that end, as I feel like I'm just not good enough, or that there's something wrong with me. My family hasn't always helped to this end either. I suppose I'm insecure about being alone too, feeling accepted and understood for who I am. There are some out there that do understand me, what I believe and how I see things, but for those that do there are many that don't as well. It makes it hard for me to get out there in the world, I feel like I can't relate to a lot of people my age, as many are into partying, drinking, sex, etc, and I just never was like that (my own issues aside). So instead I spend a lot of time on my own, I really only hang out with one friend on any consistent basis around here, others I knew have sort of faded away since high school. Sorry this was so long, just have a lot of issues I guess. Nothing wrong with issues, we all have them. I admire you for being brave enough to admit them. Thanks, I generally don't hide much really these days. Suppose that can be good, and bad at the same time depending. It can be easier to share things online, there's a feeling of anonymity. |
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Thanks, I generally don't hide much really these days. Suppose that can be good, and bad at the same time depending. It's only bad if you do nothing about it. Ok, somethings we cant change, but we can adapt and do&think differently. You mind can make anything possible. |
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I have quite a few insecurities, physical and not. Physically: I don't always care for my smile, have a hard time doing it naturally seemingly. I don't care for my stomach/weight, my family has at times gotten on me about it, mentioning how I have a gut on me, or in my dad's case calling me a tub in the past (though not in some time). Lastly, much as I hate to admit it, I'm very insecure about my size or lack there of down below. I feel like I'm not good enough in this regard at times, my ex girlfriend complaining about it didn't help matters much. In general I just have a hard time seeing myself as that attractive really. Even if others have seen me different, I struggle to see it sometimes. Emotionally: I'm insecure about my past, things I've done I wish I hadn't particularly in a sexual sense , viewing women as objects at times in different forms, not caring about the person as much as the body or what they can do for me. I don't like that person in me, and it's been there a great many years. I know deep down it isn't me, but it feels like it sometimes, and it bothers me, especially when it comes to seeking relationships knowing I have that past. I feel like I'm behind in some ways, struggling to find a job, no driver's license yet, living at home at 21, etc etc. I see all these other people doing different things, yet I'm not, and I feel like I should be. I get down on myself sometimes to that end, as I feel like I'm just not good enough, or that there's something wrong with me. My family hasn't always helped to this end either. I suppose I'm insecure about being alone too, feeling accepted and understood for who I am. There are some out there that do understand me, what I believe and how I see things, but for those that do there are many that don't as well. It makes it hard for me to get out there in the world, I feel like I can't relate to a lot of people my age, as many are into partying, drinking, sex, etc, and I just never was like that (my own issues aside). So instead I spend a lot of time on my own, I really only hang out with one friend on any consistent basis around here, others I knew have sort of faded away since high school. Sorry this was so long, just have a lot of issues I guess. Nothing wrong with issues, we all have them. I admire you for being brave enough to admit them. Thanks, I generally don't hide much really these days. Suppose that can be good, and bad at the same time depending. It can be easier to share things online, there's a feeling of anonymity. That's true, you raise a good point there. I will say that I'm more open with others like that, then I am with my own family. Some of that goes with not being understood by them that much but I digress. |
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I have quite a few insecurities, physical and not. Physically: I don't always care for my smile, have a hard time doing it naturally seemingly. I don't care for my stomach/weight, my family has at times gotten on me about it, mentioning how I have a gut on me, or in my dad's case calling me a tub in the past (though not in some time). Lastly, much as I hate to admit it, I'm very insecure about my size or lack there of down below. I feel like I'm not good enough in this regard at times, my ex girlfriend complaining about it didn't help matters much. In general I just have a hard time seeing myself as that attractive really. Even if others have seen me different, I struggle to see it sometimes. Emotionally: I'm insecure about my past, things I've done I wish I hadn't particularly in a sexual sense , viewing women as objects at times in different forms, not caring about the person as much as the body or what they can do for me. I don't like that person in me, and it's been there a great many years. I know deep down it isn't me, but it feels like it sometimes, and it bothers me, especially when it comes to seeking relationships knowing I have that past. I feel like I'm behind in some ways, struggling to find a job, no driver's license yet, living at home at 21, etc etc. I see all these other people doing different things, yet I'm not, and I feel like I should be. I get down on myself sometimes to that end, as I feel like I'm just not good enough, or that there's something wrong with me. My family hasn't always helped to this end either. I suppose I'm insecure about being alone too, feeling accepted and understood for who I am. There are some out there that do understand me, what I believe and how I see things, but for those that do there are many that don't as well. It makes it hard for me to get out there in the world, I feel like I can't relate to a lot of people my age, as many are into partying, drinking, sex, etc, and I just never was like that (my own issues aside). So instead I spend a lot of time on my own, I really only hang out with one friend on any consistent basis around here, others I knew have sort of faded away since high school. Sorry this was so long, just have a lot of issues I guess. Nothing wrong with issues, we all have them. I admire you for being brave enough to admit them. Thanks, I generally don't hide much really these days. Suppose that can be good, and bad at the same time depending. It can be easier to share things online, there's a feeling of anonymity. That's true, you raise a good point there. I will say that I'm more open with others like that, then I am with my own family. Some of that goes with not being understood by them that much but I digress. Oh definitely, there's lots of things I can't discuss with my family because they think it's "crazy" or they're just not interested. |
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I have quite a few insecurities, physical and not. Physically: I don't always care for my smile, have a hard time doing it naturally seemingly. I don't care for my stomach/weight, my family has at times gotten on me about it, mentioning how I have a gut on me, or in my dad's case calling me a tub in the past (though not in some time). Lastly, much as I hate to admit it, I'm very insecure about my size or lack there of down below. I feel like I'm not good enough in this regard at times, my ex girlfriend complaining about it didn't help matters much. In general I just have a hard time seeing myself as that attractive really. Even if others have seen me different, I struggle to see it sometimes. Emotionally: I'm insecure about my past, things I've done I wish I hadn't particularly in a sexual sense , viewing women as objects at times in different forms, not caring about the person as much as the body or what they can do for me. I don't like that person in me, and it's been there a great many years. I know deep down it isn't me, but it feels like it sometimes, and it bothers me, especially when it comes to seeking relationships knowing I have that past. I feel like I'm behind in some ways, struggling to find a job, no driver's license yet, living at home at 21, etc etc. I see all these other people doing different things, yet I'm not, and I feel like I should be. I get down on myself sometimes to that end, as I feel like I'm just not good enough, or that there's something wrong with me. My family hasn't always helped to this end either. I suppose I'm insecure about being alone too, feeling accepted and understood for who I am. There are some out there that do understand me, what I believe and how I see things, but for those that do there are many that don't as well. It makes it hard for me to get out there in the world, I feel like I can't relate to a lot of people my age, as many are into partying, drinking, sex, etc, and I just never was like that (my own issues aside). So instead I spend a lot of time on my own, I really only hang out with one friend on any consistent basis around here, others I knew have sort of faded away since high school. Sorry this was so long, just have a lot of issues I guess. Nothing wrong with issues, we all have them. I admire you for being brave enough to admit them. Thanks, I generally don't hide much really these days. Suppose that can be good, and bad at the same time depending. It can be easier to share things online, there's a feeling of anonymity. That's true, you raise a good point there. I will say that I'm more open with others like that, then I am with my own family. Some of that goes with not being understood by them that much but I digress. Oh definitely, there's lots of things I can't discuss with my family because they think it's "crazy" or they're just not interested. Yeah, it sucks to be not understood by your own doesn't it? 
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I have quite a few insecurities, physical and not. Physically: I don't always care for my smile, have a hard time doing it naturally seemingly. I don't care for my stomach/weight, my family has at times gotten on me about it, mentioning how I have a gut on me, or in my dad's case calling me a tub in the past (though not in some time). Lastly, much as I hate to admit it, I'm very insecure about my size or lack there of down below. I feel like I'm not good enough in this regard at times, my ex girlfriend complaining about it didn't help matters much. In general I just have a hard time seeing myself as that attractive really. Even if others have seen me different, I struggle to see it sometimes. Emotionally: I'm insecure about my past, things I've done I wish I hadn't particularly in a sexual sense , viewing women as objects at times in different forms, not caring about the person as much as the body or what they can do for me. I don't like that person in me, and it's been there a great many years. I know deep down it isn't me, but it feels like it sometimes, and it bothers me, especially when it comes to seeking relationships knowing I have that past. I feel like I'm behind in some ways, struggling to find a job, no driver's license yet, living at home at 21, etc etc. I see all these other people doing different things, yet I'm not, and I feel like I should be. I get down on myself sometimes to that end, as I feel like I'm just not good enough, or that there's something wrong with me. My family hasn't always helped to this end either. I suppose I'm insecure about being alone too, feeling accepted and understood for who I am. There are some out there that do understand me, what I believe and how I see things, but for those that do there are many that don't as well. It makes it hard for me to get out there in the world, I feel like I can't relate to a lot of people my age, as many are into partying, drinking, sex, etc, and I just never was like that (my own issues aside). So instead I spend a lot of time on my own, I really only hang out with one friend on any consistent basis around here, others I knew have sort of faded away since high school. Sorry this was so long, just have a lot of issues I guess. Nothing wrong with issues, we all have them. I admire you for being brave enough to admit them. Thanks, I generally don't hide much really these days. Suppose that can be good, and bad at the same time depending. It can be easier to share things online, there's a feeling of anonymity. That's true, you raise a good point there. I will say that I'm more open with others like that, then I am with my own family. Some of that goes with not being understood by them that much but I digress. Oh definitely, there's lots of things I can't discuss with my family because they think it's "crazy" or they're just not interested. Yeah, it sucks to be not understood by your own doesn't it? Not as much as it used to. I've just learned to keep some of my "weird ideas" to myself. Or else I post them on mingle.
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