lol suppose one gets used to it I guess.

There are several insecurities about myself:

After experiencing a failed marriage and a failed engagement, i have turned to sexual acts for comfort. That only brings me down further than i was before. I never seem to truely be in love with anybody and lust gets the best of me. I also am freaked out if a much older man gives me that type of attention, due to childhood issues. I have body issues all but i love the skin i am in if that makes any sense at all. I feel like a failure at life though. And i feel that i will never meet the type of person i want to be with because in this day and age the life i want seems like it is unattainable.

AAAND here we go again!



Therein lies the first step. I'm still doing it, for the two things I named in my TP. Someday I'll get to "approaching a male".

OK, this one's gonna have to be broken up a bit...



A natural smile comes from being naturally happy. Fine your joy, and your smile will happen.

My weight is an issue for me, too. I decided to look at what I consume the most often that's bad for me, and cut ALL of it out except for one thing: pop. I kept the pop both because I wanted to (let's be honest here,) and because if you deprive yourself of everything, you'll never be able to maintain a good diet. The pop is my way of staying sane. I also walk a lot. If I'm going somewhere close, I walk.

It's all in the choices we make, day to day. One day at a time.

My stepfather called me a fata**. Didn't help that my big sister was blonde, skinny and beautiful. But you know what's funny? When we grew up she told me she was jealous of me... because I could make friends so much easier than she could.

Look at yourself in a new and different way. What are you good at? What do you enjoy? Focus on that, and your confidence will skyrocket.

Oh and your ex? She's a bi**. That is all.



Don't worry about the length, babe. You needed to write that out. That's why I started this thread.

In the end, it sounds like you just need to find your passions and do them. Whatever it takes, be happy with YOUR life, then you will find someone to share it WITH you.



Southern?

Awesome to hear it's getting better! Yeah, it's day to day isn't it? And when that time of the month comes around, it can SERIOUSLY make us feel like two steps forward and three steps back.



Confidence IS sexy! And it feels great!

Hey, LadyWolf:



YOU rock!!!!!!



That is a great thing your mother taught you. It's sad that we compare ourselves to others, but the bottom line is this: if they seem happier than we are, then they must have something we don't... and physicality is the VERY easiest thing to grasp and hold on to.

My mother told me every day that I was beautiful and special and wonderful and smart. It's the only reason I didn't end it all as a teenager when my stepfather was telling me the complete opposite.

We all need to be reminded sometimes that we are beautiful.

God... you are me... six years ago... ALL of it. Every bit. (Except the engagement...)

You and me, we gotta talk, babe...

Indeed...lets talk! It doesnt help that my best friend who was dumped about the same time i was is parading their new boyfriend and new found love around me. Plus the fact that my friend is my roommate, makes it hard to get away from it all.

Indeed...lets talk! It doesnt help that my best friend who was dumped about the same time i was is parading their new boyfriend and new found love around me. Plus the fact that my friend is my roommate, makes it hard to get away from it all.

Indeed...lets talk! It doesnt help that my best friend who was dumped about the same time i was is parading their new boyfriend and new found love around me. Plus the fact that my friend is my roommate, makes it hard to get away from it all.

Sorry for triple post phone got stuck

Hi i am a med size guy ok with that but do have on going health problems and am afraid will jude me and not take a chance to get to know me and i am very shy

Care to elaborate?

First I must say BRAVO to all those that have posted honestly! In my book that is incredibly brave

My insecurity?? Letting anyone know I have any! Takes a very very long time for even those closest to me to ever see one.

Whew! A great thread and some truely brave people. Awesome. Knowing your fears is halfway to conquering them.

Makes my heart hurt to hear how so many really nice people have had family and friends even lovers do such a hachet job on their sense of self. Do the best you can to shake off their "stuff" and be all you were created to be. Not to be overly religious but I believe God don't make junk and if you allow yourself to flower into the beautiful treasures you are ment to be someone will recognize your value and cherish you.

Really points up my biggest insecurity. I would like to think that I was a very good parent. With them up and on their own now for almost a decade I am for the most part very proud of how it has seem to help them. I just hope that somewhere along the line that they won't really need something that I did not do as a parent.

The world is a tough place and I don't think my generation did a real good job of being a steward for the next generation. I feel like I have a lot of work I still need to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. Not that I like excuses or regret my choices to become a single parent I think it is inparative to be honest about telling young people how incredibly hard it is and how it will wear you down.

Last but not least I hope I have the grace and tenacity to face what may be the rest of my life alone. Old age is definitely not for sissy's and my natural make up is to be a mate so I think it might be a longer road than I have the heart left for. Guess my recent experiences are making me feel kind of drained.

Hi Pacificstar! Damn... you hit one nail MAJORLY on the head for me, too. Being a single parent isn't easy, but look:



THAT is my whole world. My life. THAT is why I do everything I do. How I parented was never good enough for the ladies of my old church, because it wasn't how they did it. So I beat myself up for YEARS. Then I took a step back and realized that most of that was complete BS, and I was a GOOD mommy.

Then I took a look at the things I DID need to change, and asked their father to take them for a year. It's been so hard, and it's only been a little over a month, but I'm building a better mommy for them. Not from anyone else's opinion, but from mine... and theirs. And that's all that matters.

About my smile, you're probably right, I have the hardest time taking pictures and having to kinda force one. I don't feel comfortable with it more in that sense come to think of it.

That's a good idea about the weight, I actually cut out pop entirely a few years back (sans the occasional one), lost like 20 lbs after that. I'd like to eat right otherwise, and want to eat more natural home cooked stuff, but it's hard when you live at a home with a family that doesn't understand what's so bad about all the processed stuff we eat and put into our bodies. We rarely seem to have much real food that isn't boxed or canned or something, so it can be a challenge in that sense. Plus they hate it when I try and cook, afraid I'll burn down the house or something lol. I still like to try sometimes though, and plan to continue that, have to learn somehow.

Understood about the deprivation too, there needs to be a balance really in any diet.

Exercise wise, I could stand to do it more, I sometimes meet my friend early in the morning at my old high school about a mile up the road to get some that way, but don't always make a habit of it. Beyond that, I don't go out a whole lot, cause of that feeling of being shy around people and such. I was thinking though, about walking more when I go to my aunts though (she lives only a bit away), did that yesterday when we went there and back.

Yeah suppose being a little larger can have some advantages, I just feel pressure to have a certain look, and that I'm not desirable as I look now.

You're right, confidence is a big thing, just I've been put down for so long, told I can't do this or that and seen myself as someone I'm really not for so long, that's it's hard to get the self esteem up again, or believe I'm not that person.

As for the ex, yeah I guess so. I never felt she understood me or my views on things, she always seemed to resent them, or wanted me to change them. I can't change who I am or how I think you know? She sent a message while I was out incidentally, next time I talk to her I'll let her know I've moved on. I got someone else on my mind right now anyway so.



Yeah I need to realize I am who I am, and not be ashamed of it. I need to accept who I am, realize who I'm not, and go from there living accordingly. I think sometimes I've changed who I was maybe to suit others, like in the sexual sense, or just done it not to be so lonely, and yet all of it has just left me wanting, never satisfied me. I know being the "typical male" isn't me and never has made me happy, just have to follow that belief, that knowledge.

have a few, but my height, with heels on can be pretty tall.

VERY good thread.

The parenting thing is one of my big ones. I KNOW I am a good mother, however I still fear at times I will scar my kids, whether it be because of the divorce or some other reason. It's a healthy concern that keeps me always striving to do my best for them.

JMO, of course.....but I find it very hard to believe that a person could live their life not having any insecurities. Maybe they use a different word for it, but we all have them.

Thank you to all the courageous people who aren't afraid to speak about this....it makes you so very real.

This reminds me, I have insecurities about being a dad later on. I've never had any siblings, and not around too many kids that often, so I kinda have fears about how I'd do as a dad. Probably totally normal, but I still wonder. I do wish to give my family the life I haven't had growing up though, will say that much. I want my kids to grow up in a happy home with a mom and dad that love each other, parents they can talk to about anything openly, etc.

I think every mom, that gives a da** about their kids worries about making a mistake that will scar them for life. There are so many women out there that choose partying, men and drugs over their children. Those that make the decision to be the best mom they can be are the ones that usually have it the toughest. I know there are times that everyday is a struggle, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Snarky, I do applaud you for knowing you needed to allow your ex to take care of your kids so you can prepare yourself to be a better mom for them. You are making some really great choices for them. They have a great mom!

Meh. Just means ya need to find a tall dude. Or one that doesn't care if you are taller than he is.

models are tall