At my age I often hear women say that they are spending time being a house mom or taking a break from work. I have found out that these are euphemisms for I AM UNEMPLOYED!

Allow me to be fair and describe what I mean

To me there is nothing wrong with being out of a job temporarily my idea of temporary is up to 6 months depending on what you do for a living, in some special cases longer.

When a man is unemployed and attempts to date he has a different set of criteria to meet since he is seen as the initiator. He has to have cash credit or savings in order to date. At no point can a man get away with going on a date more than once with the same woman without being expected to pay. unless he has an exceptional personality.

My one and only question: Why is there a double standard?

I'm just taking a break form life.

Because men want to be chivalrous.

Because they think they ought to pay.

Because women who pay are seen as aggressive.

Beause men who don't pay are seen as moochers.

Dunno... pick one, or all. Plus there are more.
This standard is set and reinforced by society. There is no simple answer. It's like asking why boys can't play with dolls. They CAN.... society just does not condone or reinforce that is a good idea or even acceptable.

yes, I agree this does seem to be the case (the man is expected to pay)... yes, dating can get rather expensive. One thing I would say, many is the case where the man makes more money. Also, If I ask a woman to dinner, I am expecting to pay (i'm the one that asked her out)...

my personal experience... i don't try to act like I have more than I do (money)... if you try to project "money" expect to pay (due to your presenting as "rich")...

if i just meet a woman and date, 1st date i expect the woman to at least offer to pay her half, some, ect. and if they offer to pay, I say "you can get the next one" (plus a good segway to another date) if you are intrested... if they want me to pay all the time I think they are just wanting free dinners...

unemployed or not -- i would not keep going out with a woman who did not at least offer to pay, or pay her half. I like women who can take care of themselves, are confident enough to offer - and are not "diggers"...

*shrug*

p.s. good topic... I too am very curious as to how others think/handle this....

im unemployed, not my fault.... i get unemployment, i date. so be it

Lick em, stick em & send em on their way!

I don't expect to go places and spend money on dates. I like parks, hanging out, etc. A mix of activities.

I don't think it's a bad thing....I think where people tend to think it's bad is if the unemployed person just sits on their duff and milks the system without trying to get out there and find a job...it's about motivation and laziness I think...but yeah, I would date someone unemployed...can't help it if they lose their job in this economy...

Sorry babe, I'm old school. You ask me out, you pay. I doesn't mean it has to be a hundred dollar a plate deal. I'd rather go for an ice cream or something. I want your attention, not your money.

I like dates that don't involve money... like walking in a pretty setting seeing a show at home cooking something together or just some sporty activity.... MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING... it seems that the more a man spends on you the more he thinks he OWNs you so date. fill yourself with joy and good things will come to you... you'll see..

GOOD LUCK

Therefore you are saying that it is okay for you to date a man and each time you go out you are paying and he is shuffling his feet with his hands in his pockets until you have paid

I am not talking about going dutch I am not talking about he asked you out and it was a little bit of confusion ---

I am talking about you are have agreed to go on a date more than once and you are always paying?

On an average date I dont and would not spend more more than $60 that includes transportation and tip - she better hope I did not have to fill the car with gas that day

You lick em first?

Um, I'm confused... I didn't say anything at all in this post abuot what I think.

I think that the man should pay on at least the first few dates he asks a woman out on. I think the woman should AT LEAST pay the tip. I've paid before, if I asked, and if I make more money. It's about what is fair. If a man asks you out and doesn't pay, that is just rude. The phrase "always paying", well that implies being used. If you are referring to yourself, you are being used.

Gotta have a J.O.B, if ya wanna be with me..

Can a man get away with taking you out for fast food rent a movie bang you like a drum and send you home Each and Every Time -

If you answer that YES your dating quota will go up exponentially

I will not think of dating when unemployed.

I think thats a sign of desperation and immaturity.
just my opinion.

Allow me to be serious for a moment:

The question is not about an occasional date that does not require money. Nor is it about a date instance where the lady pays.

IT IS ABOUT EVERYTIME - not sometime but everytime. To put you in a better frame of mind as a group we always seem to agree that splitting the bill is the right way to go if you are asked or not it is polite to offer.

For each of you ladies do you offer each and every time to share the bill or do you sometimes let the man "be the man" and pick up the check?

For you ladies can you see yourself paying for every first date you have gone on as a matter of habit or record?

For men this is the standard and in these economic dark days it can take its toll on your pocket.

Trust me there is nothing more appealing for me to be invited to your home for a quiet evening - I will cook I will pour the wine - heck I will even bring it all with me ----

For me that is the ideal but that is not the question

The phrase "always paying", well that implies being used. If you are referring to yourself, you are being used.


not talking about my self in either position - I am asking a question about expectancy while on a date

I tend to offer to pay for drink dates, coffee dates, breakfast, lunch, etc... but the formal "date dates", I offer up a tip only.

I've been told before I am offending them. There was a guy I had to put money in his pockets later...