I think this sums it up in more ways than you can count


Reasons that men lie is because the right questions are not being asked and answered. If you are honest he is suspicious. If he is honest you are appalled

Men lie, yes we do but not very well. As a group men only tell lies that you will believe; mostly because women (even though they say they dont) want to hear them.

In general men tell lies because women have fantasy expectations of how things should be. Zero to few men can say I just want sex. Of the women that would be open to this are not looking for a relationship where as most men that say this and like the women that would say yes to this have an inconsistency in what that means.

Men mean I want to have sex without having to jump through hurdles to get it on a regular basis

Women mean thanks for the service keep stepping

Other reasons that men lie is because the right questions are not being asked and answered. If you are honest he is suspicious. If he is honest you are appalled

Old Sag it is not about an uneducated life - it is a larger question. Actually a combination of questions

Why would you give a woman you are dating a gift?
When is the right time to give the woman your are dating a gift based upon a relationship that starts in the Spring and last for a minimum of one year or more?

What purpose would you expect to receive a gift in return?

Should the gift be given with pureness of heart or with intent?

I am not asking these questions for myself I am asking them for the audience at large to cover two groups: men/women whom are expected to buy gifts because it is gift giving time, often at great expense, the other group is men/women anticipate the gift because it is gift season and become rather miffed if this protocol is not followed.

Therefore my dear Old Sage, it is not from a point of uneducated, it is from a point of educating from those that are sage and wise like yourself.

Do you actually date that way - "He/She will do until something better comes along? That just sounds so wrong. I got the rest of your reason why and when to give a gift but my deeper question is still unanswered

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Okay the first person to answer understood what I was saying but did not tell me anything I did not know or believe. Now let me finish reading all of your wonderful replies and see if I can get to the WHY of it all

June to May - I set that as a time frame to cover a year or more. I want to know from the crowd at large when is it the right time to share gifts and what limits do you place on those types of gifts and what are they.

I don't believe in giving gifts to someone that I am dating because dating regardless how serious or how long the relationship by definition is a temporary situation. Recently I have been presented with a varying point of view from mine, in my effort to be more flexible I want to hear what others think on this subject.

On the rare occasions that I do give a friend a gift I do not give around a holiday I give a gift when I feel that I want to give one (I have been told my thinking is rude), for me a birthday gift is acceptable, but not a Valentines day gift or a Christmas gift. Both of those gift giving opportunities seem manufactured and create a competition among friends to see who can out gift someone else. I know that not all situations fall into my narrow point of view this is why I am asking.

Now take a moment and tell me a good reason of WHY to give a gift. Please do not use "because she deserves it" nor "it's the right thing to do" those hold no place for me and are lousy reasons. Also for the record I dont expect to be given a gift even if I give one.

Just looking to hear another point of view

That's exactly what I meant - my club is a little pricey but it is a must have in my life.

See you are the kind of girl that is at home in the hood and the club in meant clubhouse

Disclaimer Adjust for your geographic area and eatery of choice TGI Fridays Chili's Red Lobster Hooters (if you take a date to Hooters you are bold) and so on and so on

Yes he does how else will the whimps in the crowd no he a real man ?

you got a man to go not only shopping with you but window shopping I dont even have a witty comeback for that one

naw you dont sound bitter - you just havent met a man worth paying for

Texas - do you understand this phrase 101 Graduate?

But so often most men dont see it as paying they call it treating. (add Halloween reference here)

Also most men that pay never get what they paid for because they are not direct about what they think they are paying for - but that is next weeks post

Effing DITTO !!!!

female version of Capt Sav-a-Ho is
Lieutenant Need-a-Man

As a group MEN have a tendency to feel obligated to pay

As a group WOMEN have a tendency to feel obligated to be taken care of and catered toward.

This is kind and chivalrous. I personally try to observe this unwritten but widely accepted rule. As of late I have seen others in public being taken advantage of (men and women) because they are smart and know how to manage their income.

This at no time gives another person the right to take advantage of them. I heard an expression that rings so trueL "Water seeks its own level."

It is wise to date someone that can move with you not ride on your back and take it easy.

If you every find yourself in a situation where you feel you are being taking advantage of get away or out as soon as you can. You work hard for your money and can spend it on what you like. Make sure you are spending on the things you want to and not no the things that someone else wants you to be spending it on

Have a good weekend

We would so get along in person -

thanks for a straight direct and honest answer

The phrase "always paying", well that implies being used. If you are referring to yourself, you are being used.


not talking about my self in either position - I am asking a question about expectancy while on a date