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| Topic: is it okay to be unemployed and date? | |
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At my age I often hear women say that they are spending time being a house mom or taking a break from work. I have found out that these are euphemisms for I AM UNEMPLOYED! Allow me to be fair and describe what I mean To me there is nothing wrong with being out of a job temporarily my idea of temporary is up to 6 months depending on what you do for a living, in some special cases longer. When a man is unemployed and attempts to date he has a different set of criteria to meet since he is seen as the initiator. He has to have cash credit or savings in order to date. At no point can a man get away with going on a date more than once with the same woman without being expected to pay. unless he has an exceptional personality. My one and only question: Why is there a double standard? There isn't...historically men have put food on the plate, luckily I found a way around this...eat your prospective partner. 
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my personal experience... i don't try to act like I have more than I do (money)... if you try to project "money" expect to pay (due to your presenting as "rich")... *shrug*  p.s. good topic... I too am very curious as to how others think/handle this....  $60?? You can't even sneeze in this town for $60!! Whether I pay or my date pays (and we do alternate), the average dinner, drinks, and some kind of activity date is roughly $180-250. Most cover charges for clubs range from $20-$50 for VIP. I don't need, or desire, the type of night mentioned above every week, but at least once a month, I have to get my "Vegas" on (even if it's just with the girls or I am 5th wheel with my friends)! With San Fran, LA, and Vegas all within an easy hour's reach, I can't skip rock star nights. If we just go to the movies, I'd rather stay home, rent it, and cook. I love making Hollywood Teas (like a Long Island Tea) and hanging out in shorts and tank tops all night too. I agree with Lilith that dates don’t have to cost anything. Hiking, biking, wine tasting (nominal), walking the dogs at the lake, etc, is great fun. Pack some food, and we're good to go! If the guy is 'presentable' enough ( ) I also like to have friends over -- or go to their homes -- for BBQing, Rock Band parties, etc. When I want to do something REALLY expensive, I invite and pay. I would never expect anyone that I am not seriously involved with to whisk me off to Cabo for a 4 day weekend or go to an out of state NFL game. If I want to go, and I have the funds for both then I buy and fly! Back to your question: I think anyone should be able to date whether they have a job or not. Unless two people become seriously involved, and as long as the 'said' person is financially independent then it's not the other person's business whether they have a job or not! If the jobless person becomes an albatross ... well ... then send them on their way.  I adore dating and doing extravagant things but I certainly don’t reflect that onto the person I am dating, and I also watch for the red flags if a guy starts to take advantage of me. I am no sugar momma!   $180-250 dollars!? For one night? I'm not cheap, but seriously, I can take a girl to a theme park or out skiing AND to dinner at a really nice restauraunt for $140 including booze. But then I don't go clubbing so I'm not sure what that tends to cost. Just seems high to me. |
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I tend to offer to pay for drink dates, coffee dates, breakfast, lunch, etc... but the formal "date dates", I offer up a tip only. This is another great dating ideology, Lilith! I tend to gravitate to this as well.  I honestly do not believe men come with a dollar value attached to their soul when it comes to dating. Chivalry is wonderful but it’s not 1950 anymore. Dating for Dinner was a concept circa 1940 (early 19th century). There may be modern examples of this today but this is not the economic state in which to test those waters. |
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If i pay for dinner i already got what i was paying for. I am a brit, the dating scene is entirely different over here. Plus i am in a relationship anyway so dont go on dates as such.If i were single, id expect and insist to pay for the first date, at least. After that it depends, im generous but not a fool. Rightly or wrongly, if you are a man and you cant or wont pay for a date, you are gonna be going out on less dates. HORSE HOCKY! Firstly, I've dated women in London and I have found them very willing to pay for dates and show me around the nightclub scene. Secondly, I went on dates with three differant women last week and didn't pay for any of them. Thirdly, two of those dates lasted all night and the last one wants to cook dinner for me tonight at her place. I only said the dating scene was different here, if you dont agree, you dont know what you are talking about, whether you have dated women from London or not. As for your second and third points...a real man has no need to brag. |
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If i pay for dinner i already got what i was paying for. I am a brit, the dating scene is entirely different over here. Plus i am in a relationship anyway so dont go on dates as such.If i were single, id expect and insist to pay for the first date, at least. After that it depends, im generous but not a fool. Rightly or wrongly, if you are a man and you cant or wont pay for a date, you are gonna be going out on less dates. HORSE HOCKY! Firstly, I've dated women in London and I have found them very willing to pay for dates and show me around the nightclub scene. Secondly, I went on dates with three differant women last week and didn't pay for any of them. Thirdly, two of those dates lasted all night and the last one wants to cook dinner for me tonight at her place. I only said the dating scene was different here, if you dont agree, you dont know what you are talking about, whether you have dated women from London or not. As for your second and third points...a real man has no need to brag. [/quote Why Dan, you are not completely sarcastic afterall. I do tip my hat to you. Wendy |
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If i pay for dinner i already got what i was paying for. I am a brit, the dating scene is entirely different over here. Plus i am in a relationship anyway so dont go on dates as such.If i were single, id expect and insist to pay for the first date, at least. After that it depends, im generous but not a fool. Rightly or wrongly, if you are a man and you cant or wont pay for a date, you are gonna be going out on less dates. HORSE HOCKY! Firstly, I've dated women in London and I have found them very willing to pay for dates and show me around the nightclub scene. Secondly, I went on dates with three differant women last week and didn't pay for any of them. Thirdly, two of those dates lasted all night and the last one wants to cook dinner for me tonight at her place.  Bragging a little?
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I don't go on dates expecting men to pay for everything. I've paid before and have no problem with it. Dates don't have to cost much, or anything at all.
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it's not free to date..
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Edited by
MelodyGirl
on
Fri 05/29/09 12:29 PM
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$60?? You can't even sneeze in this town for $60!! Whether I pay or my date pays (and we do alternate), the average dinner, drinks, and some kind of activity date is roughly $180-250. Most cover charges for clubs range from $20-$50 for VIP. I don't need, or desire, the type of night mentioned above every week, but at least once a month, I have to get my "Vegas" on (even if it's just with the girls or I am 5th wheel with my friends)! With San Fran, LA, and Vegas all within an easy hour's reach, I can't skip rock star nights. If we just go to the movies, I'd rather stay home, rent it, and cook. I love making Hollywood Teas (like a Long Island Tea) and hanging out in shorts and tank tops all night too. I agree with Lilith that dates don’t have to cost anything. Hiking, biking, wine tasting (nominal), walking the dogs at the lake, etc, is great fun. Pack some food, and we're good to go! If the guy is 'presentable' enough ( ) I also like to have friends over -- or go to their homes -- for BBQing, Rock Band parties, etc. When I want to do something REALLY expensive, I invite and pay. I would never expect anyone that I am not seriously involved with to whisk me off to Cabo for a 4 day weekend or go to an out of state NFL game. If I want to go, and I have the funds for both then I buy and fly! Back to your question: I think anyone should be able to date whether they have a job or not. Unless two people become seriously involved, and as long as the 'said' person is financially independent then it's not the other person's business whether they have a job or not! If the jobless person becomes an albatross ... well ... then send them on their way. I adore dating and doing extravagant things but I certainly don’t reflect that onto the person I am dating, and I also watch for the red flags if a guy starts to take advantage of me. I am no sugar momma! $180-250 dollars!? For one night? I'm not cheap, but seriously, I can take a girl to a theme park or out skiing AND to dinner at a really nice restauraunt for $140 including booze. But then I don't go clubbing so I'm not sure what that tends to cost. Just seems high to me. Dinner - $150 give or take a bottle of wine Club Cover - $40 and that is the low end Drinks at the club - $8-$10 a pop and maybe 4 or 5 each - $80 That is about average for a NICE place (never Olive Garden). Take this example in the context for which it was given: not the average night out. An average night out for dinner, drinks and pool? $100 and that is for Macaroni Grill or some other lame chain. |
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he has paid for our dinner. and I have also paid for our dinner as well. it can work both ways. it doesnt always have to be the guy who pays for the dinner!!
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he has paid for our dinner. and I have also paid for our dinner as well. it can work both ways. it doesnt always have to be the guy who pays for the dinner!! Dinner is a subjective word... 
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my personal experience... i don't try to act like I have more than I do (money)... if you try to project "money" expect to pay (due to your presenting as "rich")... *shrug* p.s. good topic... I too am very curious as to how others think/handle this.... $60?? You can't even sneeze in this town for $60!! Whether I pay or my date pays (and we do alternate), the average dinner, drinks, and some kind of activity date is roughly $180-250. Most cover charges for clubs range from $20-$50 for VIP. I don't need, or desire, the type of night mentioned above every week, but at least once a month, I have to get my "Vegas" on (even if it's just with the girls or I am 5th wheel with my friends)! With San Fran, LA, and Vegas all within an easy hour's reach, I can't skip rock star nights. If we just go to the movies, I'd rather stay home, rent it, and cook. I love making Hollywood Teas (like a Long Island Tea) and hanging out in shorts and tank tops all night too. I agree with Lilith that dates don’t have to cost anything. Hiking, biking, wine tasting (nominal), walking the dogs at the lake, etc, is great fun. Pack some food, and we're good to go! If the guy is 'presentable' enough ( ) I also like to have friends over -- or go to their homes -- for BBQing, Rock Band parties, etc. When I want to do something REALLY expensive, I invite and pay. I would never expect anyone that I am not seriously involved with to whisk me off to Cabo for a 4 day weekend or go to an out of state NFL game. If I want to go, and I have the funds for both then I buy and fly! Back to your question: I think anyone should be able to date whether they have a job or not. Unless two people become seriously involved, and as long as the 'said' person is financially independent then it's not the other person's business whether they have a job or not! If the jobless person becomes an albatross ... well ... then send them on their way. I adore dating and doing extravagant things but I certainly don’t reflect that onto the person I am dating, and I also watch for the red flags if a guy starts to take advantage of me. I am no sugar momma! $180-250 dollars!? For one night? I'm not cheap, but seriously, I can take a girl to a theme park or out skiing AND to dinner at a really nice restauraunt for $140 including booze. But then I don't go clubbing so I'm not sure what that tends to cost. Just seems high to me. Dinner - $150 give or take a bottle of wine Club Cover - $40 and that is the low end Drinks at the club - $8-$10 a pop and maybe 4 or 5 each - $80 That is about average for a NICE place (never Olive Garden). Take this example in the context for which it was given: not the average night out. An average night out for dinner, drinks and pool? $100 and that is for Macaroni Grill or some other lame chain. Each state/town/country varies in price. 250 bucks doesnt sound like a huge amount to me either for a good night out for two people. i can pay that for a good night out just for myself. |
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I only said the dating scene was different here, if you dont agree, you dont know what you are talking about, whether you have dated women from London or not. As for your second and third points...a real man has no need to brag. Yes he does how else will the whimps in the crowd no he a real man ? 
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I only said the dating scene was different here, if you dont agree, you dont know what you are talking about, whether you have dated women from London or not. As for your second and third points...a real man has no need to brag. Yes he does how else will the whimps in the crowd no he a real man ? Depends on the seasoning I add to the recipe... 
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$60?? You can't even sneeze in this town for $60!! Whether I pay or my date pays (and we do alternate), the average dinner, drinks, and some kind of activity date is roughly $180-250. Most cover charges for clubs range from $20-$50 for VIP. I don't need, or desire, the type of night mentioned above every week, but at least once a month, I have to get my "Vegas" on (even if it's just with the girls or I am 5th wheel with my friends)! With San Fran, LA, and Vegas all within an easy hour's reach, I can't skip rock star nights. If we just go to the movies, I'd rather stay home, rent it, and cook. I love making Hollywood Teas (like a Long Island Tea) and hanging out in shorts and tank tops all night too. I agree with Lilith that dates don’t have to cost anything. Hiking, biking, wine tasting (nominal), walking the dogs at the lake, etc, is great fun. Pack some food, and we're good to go! If the guy is 'presentable' enough ( ) I also like to have friends over -- or go to their homes -- for BBQing, Rock Band parties, etc. When I want to do something REALLY expensive, I invite and pay. I would never expect anyone that I am not seriously involved with to whisk me off to Cabo for a 4 day weekend or go to an out of state NFL game. If I want to go, and I have the funds for both then I buy and fly! Back to your question: I think anyone should be able to date whether they have a job or not. Unless two people become seriously involved, and as long as the 'said' person is financially independent then it's not the other person's business whether they have a job or not! If the jobless person becomes an albatross ... well ... then send them on their way. I adore dating and doing extravagant things but I certainly don’t reflect that onto the person I am dating, and I also watch for the red flags if a guy starts to take advantage of me. I am no sugar momma! $180-250 dollars!? For one night? I'm not cheap, but seriously, I can take a girl to a theme park or out skiing AND to dinner at a really nice restauraunt for $140 including booze. But then I don't go clubbing so I'm not sure what that tends to cost. Just seems high to me. Dinner - $150 give or take a bottle of wine Club Cover - $40 and that is the low end Drinks at the club - $8-$10 a pop and maybe 4 or 5 each - $80 That is about average for a NICE place (never Olive Garden). Take this example in the context for which it was given: not the average night out. An average night out for dinner, drinks and pool? $100 and that is for Macaroni Grill or some other lame chain. Where do you live? In Albuquerque you can eat at a really nice restaurant for no more than $25 a person (before alcohol). And I'm not talking about lame chains, I mean really nice upscale restaurants where most everyone is wearing a dinner jacket. (NM is not the kind of place where businesses will require you to wear a suit) |
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you snooze you loose
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he has paid for our dinner. and I have also paid for our dinner as well. it can work both ways. it doesnt always have to be the guy who pays for the dinner!! Dinner is a subjective word... why do you say that for? |
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Dinner - $150 give or take a bottle of wine Club Cover - $40 and that is the low end Drinks at the club - $8-$10 a pop and maybe 4 or 5 each - $80 That is about average for a NICE place (never Olive Garden). Take this example in the context for which it was given: not the average night out. An average night out for dinner, drinks and pool? $100 and that is for Macaroni Grill or some other lame chain.  Disclaimer Adjust for your geographic area and eatery of choice TGI Fridays Chili's Red Lobster Hooters (if you take a date to Hooters you are bold) and so on and so on 
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he has paid for our dinner. and I have also paid for our dinner as well. it can work both ways. it doesnt always have to be the guy who pays for the dinner!! Dinner is a subjective word... why do you say that for? Some people eat at Olive Garden, some people eat at McDonald's...some people see food upon first meeting..  
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