Topic: FWB Question
lilith401's photo
Wed 02/11/09 08:26 AM

Hiya Lilith, dropping by to see how you're doing w/FWB situation.

Getting any positive reinforcement?


I'm obviously a wreck over it, Fran. Thanks for asking....flowerforyou

74Drew's photo
Wed 02/11/09 08:26 AM


you can pretend like it never happened and let it go on as is.
if he's hurt, he'll probably just take it and go along with pretending it didn't happen. it doesn't mean that he didn't mean it.

you sound like you're getting you physical needs met and that you're not really needing anything emotional. if that's the case carry on as is.




Drew... how do I find out WITHOUT bringing it up? I am getting my physical needs met, yes... but if there can be more or he wants more, I think that should be put out there for exploration. If I din't care at all I'd not be giving this guy so much headspace.


i would love to help you out here, but i can't read body language at all. and i don't know the first thing about expressing feelings for someone non-verbally.

lilith401's photo
Wed 02/11/09 08:27 AM
Do you think the food thing I said before is an indicator?

Seakolony's photo
Wed 02/11/09 08:32 AM
If he looks away and moves away he is avoiding or trying to evade the question.

PATSFAN's photo
Wed 02/11/09 08:35 AM

Ohhh Ohh, you GO Pats!




I feel it would be a type of stress management while between jobs, it will help me focus:wink:

oldsage's photo
Wed 02/11/09 08:43 AM
Do away with the pilow you mentioned & see what happens.

Subconcious body language tells more than words.

"Action speaks louder than words"

ESP. for men

lilith401's photo
Wed 02/11/09 08:43 AM

If he looks away and moves away he is avoiding or trying to evade the question.


He quite often answers a question with a question. He is deflection KING.... even if it is fairly innocuous. Of course, with what we both do for a living it is a miracle we can even have serious conversations....

Sea... he teaches psychpathology and statistics... funny, yes?

74Drew's photo
Wed 02/11/09 08:48 AM

Do you think the food thing I said before is an indicator?


i think that i wouldn't know a sign if someone hit me with one.

oldsage's photo
Wed 02/11/09 08:49 AM
What do you do for a living, Drew??

Seakolony's photo
Wed 02/11/09 08:50 AM


If he looks away and moves away he is avoiding or trying to evade the question.


He quite often answers a question with a question. He is deflection KING.... even if it is fairly innocuous. Of course, with what we both do for a living it is a miracle we can even have serious conversations....

Sea... he teaches psychpathology and statistics... funny, yes?

Yes but, even he has body language, just tell him he's using adviodance and you can tell by the way he deflects the questions with questions, aviods body contact and the way he hold his body if stiff and turning away is a sign of aviodance too.

74Drew's photo
Wed 02/11/09 08:51 AM
Edited by 74Drew on Wed 02/11/09 09:01 AM

What do you do for a living, Drew??


i'm a quality inspector for caterpillar.

why?

franshade's photo
Wed 02/11/09 08:52 AM


Hiya Lilith, dropping by to see how you're doing w/FWB situation.

Getting any positive reinforcement?


I'm obviously a wreck over it, Fran. Thanks for asking....flowerforyou

oh sunshine, I'm sorry, but that's the nature of the beast when one has an analytical mind flowerforyou

hope it works out for you waving

my optimistic advise would be to let things happen, sometimes focusing on the why's and I want to know sends those we want near - away.

good luck

lilith401's photo
Wed 02/11/09 09:01 AM

Do away with the pillow you mentioned & see what happens.



Haha, you remembered....I put the pillow there becuase I can't keep my hands off him long enough to sleep. At times we stay up so long we get delirious and laugh about it.... you know saying non-sensical things.

Without the pillow, he cuddles with me.

Sea~ Yeah, he is guarded, and I usually respond by pointing out his deflection and avoidance and tease him...

But I can't recall him ever being stiff in his body language.

lilith401's photo
Wed 02/11/09 09:02 AM


Do you think the food thing I said before is an indicator?


i think that i wouldn't know a sign if someone hit me with one.


Come now... you do not think making a complicated meal or one of my two favorite desserts is a sign or not?

Seakolony's photo
Wed 02/11/09 09:06 AM



Do you think the food thing I said before is an indicator?


i think that i wouldn't know a sign if someone hit me with one.


Come now... you do not think making a complicated meal or one of my two favorite desserts is a sign or not?

I think it was a sign of consideration, but to indicate anything more from it, I wouldn't.

74Drew's photo
Wed 02/11/09 09:07 AM



Do you think the food thing I said before is an indicator?


i think that i wouldn't know a sign if someone hit me with one.


Come now... you do not think making a complicated meal or one of my two favorite desserts is a sign or not?


if i cook for a woman, it's usually because i wanted to cook something and that it always makes more than enough for 2 people and i don't cook for just myself.
i never have an ulterior motive. i don't trust my cooking skills enough to try to make a romantic dinner or anything.

lilith401's photo
Wed 02/11/09 09:07 AM

my optimistic advise would be to let things happen, sometimes focusing on the why's and I want to know sends those we want near - away.

good luck


That is why I'm doing all the what's and why's here with you folks and being less neurotic with him....laugh

oldsage's photo
Wed 02/11/09 09:11 AM
I am a former truck shop owner, I read my helps condition by their body language.
You prob. read body language & don't realize your doing it.

oldsage's photo
Wed 02/11/09 09:14 AM
when your completely spent, turn your back & spoon.
See how he reacts, just sexual or snuggles.

Basic male/female action patterns are very interesting.

lilith401's photo
Wed 02/11/09 09:14 AM
He has never been physically avoidant with me. We stay up until 3-4 am most times...

He sits open, facing me. He makes eye contact. He looks at my eyes and my mouth when we talk.