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| Topic: FWB Question | |
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Forgive yourself for what??????????? being alone THAT is a choice. Figure out why? |
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Drew, surely I cannot be an island. Fade just admitted she is the same way... So am I, and he is correct men are afraid of powerful women!! Its just the way it is. The still think they need to constantly be the bread winner and wear the pant. If they aren't that way then they are completely pansy as$ed the other way! |
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Well.... I am assertive and opinionated and very sexual and passionate. But I am also very submissive and sexist. I have a balance. Men just don't see both sides at first.
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Well.... I am assertive and opinionated and very sexual and passionate. But I am also very submissive and sexist. I have a balance. Men just don't see both sides at first. Oh all women can be sexy and submissive.....they just want it everwhere...and in everything. |
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Lol, I said sexist.....
I am very traditional in my gender roles.... it is just only personally and not at all in my professional life. I need a wickedly strong and smart man to see the whole me. I hardly keep it secret... I'm very forthcoming and open. But people see what they want to see. |
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Sounds like you are not in love, but in lust. Multiple times you have expressed how good he was. If he can't handle the FWB situation, don't get dragged into something else simply because the sex is great. There are people out there who are just as good with less issues. You're right... I'm not in love. But I was really interested when we dated. He met my son. He is the only one to meet my son in two years. So it's more do I open the feelings side back up or not.... and how do I know if he wants me to? There's no chance at attaining love without risk. There are no roses without thorns. Talk regularly about mutual goals and expectations - both in general and of each other - if any. Run like hell if what you both want is worlds apart. Try not to have any expectations, but just enjoy each other's company in the moment. Take each day as it comes. Respect each other, care for each other, don't stop genuine affection from happening if it starts. If love comes from that, how wonderful. If not, and you aren't looking for more, it doesn't matter. Just go with the flow. Meh. I don't do FWB. However, I liked what OldSage had to say. |
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On a regular basis, we break the following rules.... 1. 4. 5. 9. 10. Sounds like more than FWB to me.  
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I think I decided I simply must say something. I cannot let it go. And since I cannot seem to let it go, this implies I have some sort of feelings. Right? Uh huh. I'd say so. 
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I think you are in love with this guy and for all the denials I don't buy it. This guy drops the L word half drunk and you don't even know if it is for you or not but your brain/heart starts doing summersaults.
I think this guy is the arsehole he has admitted to being and is just enjoying a good Fu-k-buddy and nothing more. Yea he prepares for the his own pleasure but this guy does not care about you or your kid and he made it clear when he ditched you. What surprises me is a smart woman with so much to offer someone who could/would offer you the Whole Montey you have settled for being demoted to FWB and talked yourself into saying you like it this way. Maybe because you just don't want to face the facts that he is dictateing the relationship or the lack there of. Maybe some of it is the percieved "saftey" of dependable sex but if you got this guy on the brain as much as you do I think you are trying to avoid the inevitable hurt and anger you are going to feel when the reality sets in. You might not believe it but I am really sorry to think you are getting such a raw deal. I think you really do want to love someone and would if you could. It is not going to be with this guy. |
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Lol, I said sexist..... I am very traditional in my gender roles.... it is just only personally and not at all in my professional life. I need a wickedly strong and smart man to see the whole me. I hardly keep it secret... I'm very forthcoming and open. But people see what they want to see. A wickedly strong and smart man DOES see...and is probably protecting his family jewels at the same time as he is praying to god for the courage just to do you and die doing it with a great big smile of fulfillment and nirvana. But you truly deserve the whole fulfillment of both roles that you are capable and fulfilled in performing. Mz. Business Pro is a helluva deal, even if she wasn't fabulicious in the bed and ultra-romantically-gushworthy in the whole home/union. Being both things demands either to own a Lincoln/Corvette/SUV-Wagon, or a cross-over vehicle with all the gadgets and also the luxuries. Is there a man like that (yes, of course) and can you get the "until death do us part" love and commitment from him? That last part of the question is the clinker. I think that a woman of your smarts might be overlooking a Hint from Heloise that is simple and fills the bill. It's there. I refuse the idea that anything is unattainable or unrealistic with faith and perseverance. Have you looked into DateAMillionaire, or maybe Date-A-Rocket-Scientist-Spelunker-Tangodancer? The answer is within your reach. We just need to know where to look, and then go from there. 
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I don't think Lilith is in love, more like in awe. She enjoyed her time spent with him, he intrigued her on a professional, personal and intellectual level, she found things in him that others lacked.
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Lilth, is to strong of a person, to not know what SHE REALLY WANTS.
I have been doing an FWB relationship, for several years. Everything between us is out in the open. Both of us has our personal reason's for not wanting to be married again. Lilth knows what she wants & NEEDS. She is simply brave enough to put it all UP FRONT for all of us to see. Many people condone this, IN PRIVATE; but are afraid to be OPEN about their REAL VIEWS. I ADMIRE her strength & support her, FULLY. LONG TERM FWB, does bring up a certain level of "LOVE". It is scarey when first mentioned, because you don't want to lose the SPECIAL good friend, you have. Short term (year or less) FWB, is really just sex based & enjoying a good roll in the hay. As my name shows, I believe in old sayings. "JUDGE NOT, LEAST YE BE JUDGED" "WALK A MILE IN MY SHOES" I respect all your opinions & EXPECT the same. This was mine. |
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oldsage - guess I am running on a local track today but to whom was your post responding to?
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Drew, surely I cannot be an island. Fade just admitted she is the same way... Same here... I've even been told I think like a man. And the older I get, the more I seem to want. But it's not something I'm gonna put on a resume or anything. Being highly sexual, I seem to attract guys who only want the sex and don't want to contribute anything else to a relationship. I'm still looking for the one who wants to be affectionate and in an actual relationship. I've had the FWB, I want the whole package. |
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I think you are in love with this guy and for all the denials I don't buy it. This guy drops the L word half drunk and you don't even know if it is for you or not but your brain/heart starts doing summersaults. I think this guy is the arsehole he has admitted to being and is just enjoying a good Fu-k-buddy and nothing more. Yea he prepares for the his own pleasure but this guy does not care about you or your kid and he made it clear when he ditched you. What surprises me is a smart woman with so much to offer someone who could/would offer you the Whole Montey you have settled for being demoted to FWB and talked yourself into saying you like it this way. Maybe because you just don't want to face the facts that he is dictateing the relationship or the lack there of. Maybe some of it is the percieved "saftey" of dependable sex but if you got this guy on the brain as much as you do I think you are trying to avoid the inevitable hurt and anger you are going to feel when the reality sets in. You might not believe it but I am really sorry to think you are getting such a raw deal. I think you really do want to love someone and would if you could. It is not going to be with this guy. It must be nice to know everything and always be right. Assuming gets you nowhere. |
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having pondered the question myself, I realized, admitting the extent of certain relationships were sexual only has allowed me to make up the "rules" as I went along.
Depending on who it was with, sometimes the "rules" defined themselves. However, someone recently gave me some food for thought. "FWB means at least one person will be hurt eventually" We can never truly know what's in another person's core. How they think, what they wish. And rules are meant to be broken. |
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Well, tomorrow is a good indicator. That will be when I see him next. I will post afterwards...
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oldsage - guess I am running on a local track today but to whom was your post responding to? Wasn't responding to anyone special. Way I took some of the previous thoughts, felt that if Lilth was going to be upfront, I would support her in it. What works for one, may not work for another. Does NOT mean it is wrong, for ANYONE. |
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Thanks, Sage.
This is as forthcoming in a thread as I've ever been. And as I said, that fac tells me a lot about how I might feel for this man. It also reinforces my confusion. |
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Can you all tell me what your understanding of this term is, and what its rules are? (Not saying you do this, just we all understand there are rules). I have a few questions, but first would like to hear your definitions. Basically its your boyfriend/girlfriend that doesn't live with you.
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