Cynicism can be such a downer at times. I try not to be because of the negative influence it has. Just my two cents.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I wasn't suggesting that you were suggesting all men were that way, thus the reason for putting (ALL) in parentheses, as to encompass that which is normally said (didja follow all that? ). See, that's the point I've been trying to make. I DO try to be the best person I can be, for ME, as much prior experience has shown me that very few other people can appreciate me as I am.



Ehhh, I can't say as I really buy that statement (there's the skeptic in me coming out again!). If that were the case, cynicism would be accepted for the practicality that it is, instead of being confused with negativism.

Well many women will actually avoid cynical men.

I am not sure where you would draw the line between a cynic and a person who is "negative."

Here is my understanding. How close is it?

A skeptic doubts and questions. A negative person does not believe in them self. A cynic does not believe in anyone else.

Not quite. A skeptic doubts and questions. A negative person see no positive in anything at all. A cynic not only doubts and questions, but is also practical in terms of relating things to prior experience, usually lots of it.

This is not to say that there is no positive whatsoever to be seen, however, a cynic is much more apt to scrutinize any given situation and make decisions based on experience. Things tend to be more defined....more black-and-white, not rose-colored.

I bet they are good at making snap decisions if they see things in black and white.

Not necessarily "snap" decisions, per se, but arguably more clear.

I agree, its healthy, not necessarily negative. I like to think of myself as realistically optimistic...

This is an interesting thread. I can see points on each side.

I am not going to play the "my life was so stinkey" game because I think there will always be someone who has had it tougher and many who have had it easier.

I don't know why some people seem to draw better cards than others. I kind of think all the whineing about bad cards; especially here in the states, is pretty lame. Things are really bad for you there is at least survival help. It isn't pretty but it is more than about anywhere else. Sure plenty of people willing to come here and make the necessary sacrifices to pull themselves up by their boot straps.

Yes right now the world economy sucks. I think it might get worse before it gets better here and people need to stop wasteing. One thing I have learned about want is you suffer when you remember what you waste more than what you don't have. Most of us if we really tighten our belts can get through this.

What I have also learned from loss is there are very few things you can't live without. Or for that matter very few people. Those of you that think you can't leave where you are at to find work and a life elsewhere are making excuses. There are training programs and jobs but you have to want them more than you will when you have lost more of your comforts. Believe me you don't want to wait until you are homeless to get in gear.

Do some people get slipped bad cards? Yea if you are dumb enough to lay your hand down on the table and go to something you can't complain that someone looked at your cards. Trust is something that should be earned. And checked up on sometimes.

A good example is grown adults that try to blame their financial woes on their spouse knock me out. Nobody makes you hand over your paycheck or have a joint account or even allow someone to get a credit card in your name if you call the credit beaureas. They can't spend what they can't get their hands on. You don't have to lease something together or buy a house that will put you into bankruptcy if the relationship hits a bump.

I don't think all the bad cards some people get has to do with their choices. Sometimes stuff just happens. I don't know if it is all part of a master plan or just random. I do know as I look back over the things that have happen to me I have learned more from the things that were supposedly bad than most of the good. If you want to you can forget the pain. It isn't always easy but just because you don't wallow in the pain doesn't mean you didn't learn anything or are doomed to repeat it. Or that it didn't hurt like hell at the time. But you do choose how long you want to be a victim and when you become a survivor.

I personally find it offensive to say every guy thinks only with his pen-s anymore than women think only off how they can use their v-jay power. Most people don't think past their next meal or paycheck so saying people over all are that manipulative is just paranoid. The likelyhood that you are going to draw a real sociopath is rare. Most of the time when relationship sour it is a lot of little things that just add up. Poor communication skills, boredom, poor money management, the normal unrealistic expectations. A little problem festers and partners start compeating and pointing blame and the downward spiral begins. Yea then sometimes things get calculated but that is both sides.

If people think that they are right, and their partner was wrong, and don't improve their relationship skills the cycle can repeat it self until it is just too painful to do it anymore. It is kind of like the old thing of throwing away the baby in the bath water.

I dare say that you find someone with a series of failed relationships it is more about their problem than it is series of people. True there will definitely be similarities because people tend to have preferences and repeat being drawn to similiar personalities but the arguements will repeat because the constant variable is the problem. Until they are ready to change their patterns or improve their skills you will get the same result. Because the people who have chronic relationship failures tend to be very rigid and unyeilding about their beliefs and blame others change is rare.

Do we all have stereo typical expectations of our partners that are often unrealistic? Sure. Between all the conditioning we get to think otherwise it is still people who believe the "fairytale" that have the hardest time makeing relationships work. It is almost a recipe for failure.

Ok should people be cynical if they have repeated failure? I would hope to shout yes. If you keep getting kicked in the shins by someone who wears combat boots it is only realistic to be defensive. The trick is not to take it too extream. Find out if it is the combat boots or some other variable. Simple answers are rare. I think only noticeing one or two variables in failed relationships is kind of over kill. Not all men are alike and not all women are alike.

The other thing I kept seeing in the thread is that haveing a positive attitude will draw positive people and a negative attitude will draw negative. You can blow all the sunshine you want there are some people who are just bad no matter how nice you treat them and they tend to target nice people. But what I found on that deal is you just develope copeing skills and when the bad times come along you get through it. You don't put all your eggs in one basket. If you make one person in your life your all you are very vunerable.

Will having a positive attitude improve your life? Yea I think so. Who wants to be around someone who is constantly boo hooing how unfair life is. I hear someone dogging on an Ex I am not about to set myself up to be talked about that way. I know what I bring to the table but I don't know what they bring and I don't need that kind of fall out if things do go south. Someone who is hyper-sensitive, has to be right, always picking to pieces what your motives are is just too much work to be worth it. Someone who think things will work out and believes a solution is possible starts looking for it and solves their own problems usually before they get out of hand. They have fun and feel passion but life is not their personal soap-opra. They don't have a list of sins to recount about other people but they can tell you about fun times shared. It is pleasant to be around them. Positive people have had bad times they just don't ned to relive them over and over and drag everyone along for the misery.

I am sure I have missed some of the points and digressed but that is my thoughts on it for tonight......Sweet Dreams.

I don't care, take me as a threat...I'm just fine with myself and could care less what others think.

Nothing you do in life really matters anyway. So, Who Cares?



Take your enthusiasm to The Sanctuary, a home for "disgruntled idealists, subversive wits, professional misfits, skeptical jesters, curmudgeons, and misanthropes."

http://www.i-cynic.com/

Take the test.

http://www.i-cynic.com/quiz.asp

They invited me to join!

Really cool sight. My inner cynic loved it and is jumping for joy. She found a home. She passed the "are you a cynic" test with flying colors, who would have guessed?

Devised by optimists to identify, isolate and disinfect their lives of cynical corrosion.

Yes well, you can't fix a problem it you can't identify it first.

Ill vote for that.