Topic: Cynicism: Threat or Menace?
feralcatlady's photo
Sun 02/01/09 03:41 PM

hello are you not listening.....learn from them.....then duf you won't repeat them...and not just in relationships but in every aspect of your life. Like you said touch the stove and get burned your not likely to do it again. But the biggest problem is people bringing baggage from one to the next to the next to the next...they don't learn and then they tend to go after the same kind of person and get the same results. And that can be with anything in life not just relationships.



That is hardly the same thing Keith....You live and learn and especially with relationships you put it in the past...that is where it belongs and every time you bring the past relationship into the new one...your doomed to fail.

And I am not talking just about love and relationships, I am talking about everything in life. When you have a problem do you deal with it?, and let it go or do you dwell on it.

Hey if you want to be alone that is totally your choice....


Deb, are you listening to yourself? Yes, you live and learn from past relationships that wound up in the sh!tter for numerous reasons. WHY, in the name of Christ, would anyone deliberately WANT to keep repeating those same mistakes??

When someone is repeatedly shown certain traits and characteristics, you recognize the pattern!

Why is this such a concept to people?


feralcatlady's photo
Sun 02/01/09 03:45 PM
Edited by feralcatlady on Sun 02/01/09 03:46 PM
I don't see you making the threads either....If you feel you or others are a certain way and women are putting you in a box...then hey step on out....and come to bat for all the great men out there...And yes I think there are some really great men on mingle.

Again I will say also in the defense of men...that women are to blame for 99% of why they get crappy men....They seek the bad boy and then they get pissed cuz he is a di*kwad...then they keep going after the same type of guy and want a different result...not going to happen.






I am glad to see men finally waking up and using their heads to do their thinking instead of their sex drives


One of the MANY things men have to be cynical towards women about, as this seems to generally be their most common argument to use.


Can you be more specific about the above statement, I am not sure I am understanding what you mean.


As a general rule (not ALWAYS, but MOST OF THE TIME), women have this idea that (ALL) men just think with their d!ck. How come this is the prevalent topic most women come onto the threads with? How refreshing would it be to see women create threads of, "God, I'm SO SICK of men constantly CARING! Why can't they treat us like sh!t for a change??" Nope, we'll never see any threads like that (at least, not any serious ones).

Using this as an example, is it really any wonder why so many men are jaded towards women, or dating in general? Why shouldn't they be, given what's constantly being thrown in their faces every day?

Now....to shift gears, it's because of the handful of jagbag's who DO treat women like sh!t, that gives the rest of us a bad name. Why bother putting our best foot forward when there's already so much of a preconceived notion? Where's the payoff?

EVERYBODY is cynical, whether they want to admit it or not!


Mr_Music's photo
Sun 02/01/09 03:46 PM
Of COURSE I won't repeat them....because I won't repeat them!

JustAGuy2112's photo
Sun 02/01/09 03:46 PM
Again, there is a misconception here.

I don't think Music Man is saying that the mistakes of others are carried on to the next person.

What I think he means is that the patterns of behavior, when actually observed, from previous relationships, are what drives most people.

Everyone is a cynic is some form or another.

If you had been in a physically abusive relationship, and the person you are interested showed signs that he had the potential to be physically abusive, would you not take those signs as a warning??

If so, then you would, indeed, be a cynic.


no photo
Sun 02/01/09 03:48 PM

Of COURSE I won't repeat them....because I won't repeat them!


And I think -- after all these pages, after all these posts, after all of the people who were apparently oblivious to the humor in the original post, after all of the seemingly bound-and-determined efforts of some to cherry-pick the entire thread so they could find some little something to be offended by -- it all comes down to what Mr_Music said:

"I won't repeat them."


Mr_Music's photo
Sun 02/01/09 03:52 PM
I don't see you making the threads either....If you feel you or others are a certain way and women are putting you in a box...then hey step on out....and come to bat for all the great men out there...


To what end? What would it prove? Do you actually think it's gonna change any opinions? A thread like that would go over like a fart in church.

no photo
Sun 02/01/09 04:19 PM

I don't see you making the threads either....If you feel you or others are a certain way and women are putting you in a box...then hey step on out....and come to bat for all the great men out there...


To what end? What would it prove? Do you actually think it's gonna change any opinions? A thread like that would go over like a fart in church.


The problem, as I see it, is -- there's really no advantage to being one of the "great men" here -- no one is actually looking for that -- sure, many will say they are, but -- let's face it, they're not being honest; otherwise they would be doing something about it.

Maybe my perception of what constitutes a "great man" differs significantly from everyone else's -- I don't know -- but I see a whole lot of guys here who I perceive as being "great men" -- in any number of ways -- and how many of them are actually getting anywhere with the women here?




feralcatlady's photo
Sun 02/01/09 05:36 PM
Edited by feralcatlady on Sun 02/01/09 05:38 PM

I don't see you making the threads either....If you feel you or others are a certain way and women are putting you in a box...then hey step on out....and come to bat for all the great men out there...


To what end? What would it prove? Do you actually think it's gonna change any opinions? A thread like that would go over like a fart in church.



Well that's a total cynic attitude...and yes I think change can happen with just one person.....but hey again live like a cynic if it's gets you through the day....I think living like this just sucks the life outta ya....thanks but no thanks....

Mr_Music's photo
Sun 02/01/09 05:39 PM
Edited by Mr_Music on Sun 02/01/09 05:46 PM
What, did you think I was playin' this whole time? :laughing:

but hey again live like a cynic if it's gets you through the day....I think living like this just sucks the life outta ya....thanks but no thanks....


Fair enough. You go ahead and live in your peaches-and-cream fantasy world. We'll see who gets disappointed more often.

rlynne's photo
Sun 02/01/09 05:46 PM


I don't see you making the threads either....If you feel you or others are a certain way and women are putting you in a box...then hey step on out....and come to bat for all the great men out there...


To what end? What would it prove? Do you actually think it's gonna change any opinions? A thread like that would go over like a fart in church.


The problem, as I see it, is -- there's really no advantage to being one of the "great men" here -- no one is actually looking for that -- sure, many will say they are, but -- let's face it, they're not being honest; otherwise they would be doing something about it.

Maybe my perception of what constitutes a "great man" differs significantly from everyone else's -- I don't know -- but I see a whole lot of guys here who I perceive as being "great men" -- in any number of ways -- and how many of them are actually getting anywhere with the women here?






they may be great..but if its not there its not there...

why settle or compromise?
some have made it quite clear..that there is no room for such things....
so its not there...laugh


and i read the initial post......

i would vote for a day for which we celebrate cynicism
as long as hallmark gets involved...devil

feralcatlady's photo
Sun 02/01/09 05:49 PM

What, did you think I was playin' this whole time? :laughing:

but hey again live like a cynic if it's gets you through the day....I think living like this just sucks the life outta ya....thanks but no thanks....


Fair enough. You go ahead and live in your peaches-and-cream fantasy world. We'll see who gets disappointed more often.




I assure you I don't have to many disappointments in my life.....not that it's perfect because honestly who's is...but it's pretty darn close. So yea Keith I will take my peaches and cream life over negative nelly days anytime.

Mr_Music's photo
Sun 02/01/09 05:51 PM


What, did you think I was playin' this whole time? :laughing:

but hey again live like a cynic if it's gets you through the day....I think living like this just sucks the life outta ya....thanks but no thanks....


Fair enough. You go ahead and live in your peaches-and-cream fantasy world. We'll see who gets disappointed more often.




I assure you I don't have to many disappointments in my life.....not that it's perfect because honestly who's is...but it's pretty darn close. So yea Keith I will take my peaches and cream life over negative nelly days anytime.


Again, you're mistaking skepticism with negativism. There is a difference!

no photo
Sun 02/01/09 05:52 PM

The problem, as I see it, is -- there's really no advantage to being one of the "great men" here -- no one is actually looking for that -- sure, many will say they are, but -- let's face it, they're not being honest; otherwise they would be doing something about it.

Maybe my perception of what constitutes a "great man" differs significantly from everyone else's -- I don't know -- but I see a whole lot of guys here who I perceive as being "great men" -- in any number of ways -- and how many of them are actually getting anywhere with the women here?




Okay, I have stayed out of this thread, but I really have to reply to this.

I AM lookin for a great guy and I dare say many of us are and I have done something about it. I have written to guys here, through Mutual Match and otherwise......they DON'T respond, not a single one of them. I may be older than many members here, but I'm not ready to be put out to pasture either, and though I'm not as cute and perky as I was once, I cannot possibly be so respulsive to every 'great' guy I write to that I don't deserve at least a response. So what exactly would you have me and the other great gals here do? Can't exactly start a relationship if you cannot even start a conversation.


longhairbiker's photo
Sun 02/01/09 06:06 PM


I am glad to see men finally waking up and using their heads to do their thinking instead of their sex drives


One of the MANY things men have to be cynical towards women about, as this seems to generally be their most common argument to use.


In my experience, it has NEVER been about me not using my head to do the thinking -- it has always been about her wanting to do my thinking FOR me.

It gets tiresome, particularly when she didn't have the equipment to do the job in the first place.


....amen!!!

longhairbiker's photo
Sun 02/01/09 06:29 PM
Edited by longhairbiker on Sun 02/01/09 06:32 PM
I learned a lot in my life. And I learned from my mistakes in all aspects of life- not just relationships. I don't regret the experiences. And I don't wear my cynical behavior as a badge of courage. I use it as comedic shield against the barrage of dillusional sheep dip the koombya crowd chuck at me. There's a time and place for everything, and everything in its place. Some people have seen my kind helpful side. I'm not always an ass. Being a cynic doesn't mean I'm negative and pessimistic all the time. But if I let my feelings control my life I would never get anywhere. And I have places to go, people to see, and things to do. The bottom line- cynics are practical- not mean. Mean people suck.

feralcatlady's photo
Sun 02/01/09 06:33 PM
All the same to me sorry...and life is just to darn short to have so much negative, or skepticism or being so cynical of the world.....so have fun with this I am out....never to darken the cynics lil world again.




What, did you think I was playin' this whole time? :laughing:

but hey again live like a cynic if it's gets you through the day....I think living like this just sucks the life outta ya....thanks but no thanks....


Fair enough. You go ahead and live in your peaches-and-cream fantasy world. We'll see who gets disappointed more often.




I assure you I don't have to many disappointments in my life.....not that it's perfect because honestly who's is...but it's pretty darn close. So yea Keith I will take my peaches and cream life over negative nelly days anytime.


Again, you're mistaking skepticism with negativism. There is a difference!

feralcatlady's photo
Sun 02/01/09 06:35 PM
All the same to me sorry...and life is just to darn short to have so much negative, or skepticism or being so cynical of the world.....so have fun with this I am out....never to darken the cynics lil world again.












What, did you think I was playin' this whole time? :laughing:

but hey again live like a cynic if it's gets you through the day....I think living like this just sucks the life outta ya....thanks but no thanks....


Fair enough. You go ahead and live in your peaches-and-cream fantasy world. We'll see who gets disappointed more often.




I assure you I don't have to many disappointments in my life.....not that it's perfect because honestly who's is...but it's pretty darn close. So yea Keith I will take my peaches and cream life over negative nelly days anytime.


Again, you're mistaking skepticism with negativism. There is a difference!

Mr_Music's photo
Sun 02/01/09 06:37 PM
All the same to me sorry...and life is just to darn short to have so much negative, or skepticism or being so cynical of the world.....so have fun with this I am out....never to darken the cynics lil world again.


Which is why I have no problem being a cynic. I can handle the truth of the world.

no photo
Sun 02/01/09 07:18 PM
Edited by Jeanniebean on Sun 02/01/09 07:19 PM



I am glad to see men finally waking up and using their heads to do their thinking instead of their sex drives


One of the MANY things men have to be cynical towards women about, as this seems to generally be their most common argument to use.


Can you be more specific about the above statement, I am not sure I am understanding what you mean.


As a general rule (not ALWAYS, but MOST OF THE TIME), women have this idea that (ALL) men just think with their d!ck. How come this is the prevalent topic most women come onto the threads with? How refreshing would it be to see women create threads of, "God, I'm SO SICK of men constantly CARING! Why can't they treat us like sh!t for a change??" Nope, we'll never see any threads like that (at least, not any serious ones).

Using this as an example, is it really any wonder why so many men are jaded towards women, or dating in general? Why shouldn't they be, given what's constantly being thrown in their faces every day?

Now....to shift gears, it's because of the handful of jagbag's who DO treat women like sh!t, that gives the rest of us a bad name. Why bother putting our best foot forward when there's already so much of a preconceived notion? Where's the payoff?

EVERYBODY is cynical, whether they want to admit it or not!




I don't think all men are obsessed with sex. (Granted, some of them are, and then there are some who just don't care about it.) But things are changing as women seem to be getting more aggressive and available. (Men are learning to be more choosy.)

That is the reason for my statement and that is why I made that statement. I am 59 years old and I grew up in a culture where YES most men did seem to be overly affected by their sex drive. (I still know men my age and older who are still obsessed with sex.)

I certainly did not mean to suggest that ALL MEN are that way. If you don't think there is a pay off by "putting your best foot forward" then don't bother. But I think you should be the best you can be if not for a woman, then at least for yourself.

A confident happy well adjusted, balanced, healthy man will attract women like bees to honey simply because they are rare.


no photo
Sun 02/01/09 07:34 PM

Cynicism, not so good.

Skepticism, vital.

That is all.


:wink: