talk to the child is another

i cant say anything my grandmother got me smoking.

Winx, you are right on the "technical" term of dual diagnosis, perhaps I worded it wrong, I should have said a dual addiction. Anyhow I do not think you are a snob, I just find a lot of people who are not in recovery themselves but work for rehabs or have loved ones who are tend to stereotype and lump us all into one catagory.

Yes the program "suggests" that you don't use any substance at all but the fact still remains, just because you have one addiction doesn't necessarily mean you have problems in any other area. A lot of people though tend to use one as an excuse to do another therefore it's considered "safer" to just stay abstinent from everything especially for the first year of recovery because it eliminates the "I couldn't help it because I was hooked on stupid from doing another substance" excuse.

I realize this thread is about our kids doing pot and how we would react, however you are the one who keeps saying pot is a gateway drug and it leads to other things and you should know cause you worked for a rehab and your friend is in NA and you've been to meetings etc. As an adult with an addiction I just wanted to make it clear from MY experience and the experience of several others in my community who will be the first to say that THEY are the problem, the drugs were just a symptom.

The fact is, kids are going to do what they want to do whether we give them permission or not. It is up to us to make it clear WHY we don't want them to do it. We also want to make sure that whatever facts we are teaching our kids are indeed facts and not speculation or oppinion.

Me personally, if I found out my child was smoking pot, I'd sit their ass down in front of the computer have them google marijuana, canabis, thc, etc. and then have them write me an essay on what it is, what effects it may have, pros, cons, and uses and then when they were finished we would discuss what they have learned and whether they still think it's something they should be doing. Once they have the facts for themselves, we would then discuss how I feel about it, and what my oppinion is.

Why take this approach? Simple, because if I tell them all the facts they are going to believe I have some hidden agenda or ulterior motive. If I tell them No don't do it, they are going to want to know why. If I forbid them to do it, they will just rebel and do it anyhow. Also, having them tell me how they feel after is showing an interest in what they think and want instead of just saying no and it opens the door for them to hear what I feel about it because afterall I did listen to them so it's only reasonable and fair to hear me out too.

In the end, my children will do whatever they want to do, I can't be with them to hold their hands every waking moment of the day. It's like sex, we can talk to them till we are blue in the face, we can scream and yell and tell them we forbid it, but unless we prepare them for it we take the risk of having pregnant teenagers and kids with STDs. All I can hope is that I have given my kids enough information to keep them responsible and safe and enough love and respect to keep them confiding in me no matter what.

she also said it may not be a gateway drug but for some it could lead to other things (as well as alcohol can)

but just like alcohol....not everyone has a good experience with pot. due to how the individual's body is....it can cause things like paranoia and hallucinations, etc. not everyone reacts to things the same. it is in the mind set, as well. if someone uses these things as a crutch...they mentally (or physically) become depended on it.

I know one of my children has smoked, and unfortunately, as much of a problem as it can become, it is ultimately thhe choice of the child if they continue. There has to be limits with the parent/child relationship and for the most part I would like to think that parents wouldnt encourage it even if the parent has. There has been the endless debate that grass is less harmful that alcohol, and alcohol is legal. There are 12 step support groups for both: AA and MA. With my child, I asked why, what they get from it, how will they support the habit, and explain its not allowed in the house, and be careful because there are consequences to every action, and I will not support their choice to continue, even if it comes to legal issues.
Peace

Find out where your kid got it and who yoir kid is hanging out with. Then try to put a stop to those friends.

I am the gateway drug.

http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/abstract/163/12/2134

Dominoes ARE the gateway drug ...

ESP in Fear's hands ...








Streuth

Want to try some?

Just say no!

...or preferably, no, thank you.

.......No..

..........thank you.

scorpio....are you trying to say no????

Yes...,uh,....no,..thank you.

and to you too , My Dear Brother