Wow. I lost my job to a corporate merger a few years ago. Then my child got sick and was in and out of the hospital. I am working 7 days a week to provide food and shelter. I can't pay my creditors.

Does this mean I am not a high caliber person? Does it mean I am financially irresponsible?

Yikes. Judgement is thick in here.

If a man chose to dump you based on your keeping this hidden from him, I would not blame him. If you revealed it, had a plan in place to get your life in order and your finances under control again, then that is something you should have no trouble being open and honest about. In fact you have a responsibility to do so if you plan on the relationship progressing. That is my opinion only.

I guess I don't understand why it's anyone's business but mine. I work hard, I take care of my own and I ask no one for help. If a guy is going to judge my worth by my credit score or feel he has the right to inquire about my plans, then he is not the guy for me. He should be thinking about what is in my heart and my soul, not my equifax report.

Well perhaps you are addressing someone else then on thread. I have stated several times that in the initial stages of a relationship, there is no need to run a background check or ask for recent FICA scores. Dont be silly. For one thing, when you are dating someone, finances are not being combined.

It becomes your responsibility if and when it effects the life of another. That is most likely to occur if you decide to live together or get a joint credit card or sign for a loan or in some way combine your finances. Even when you go to rent an apartment, you will both need to be on the lease and they will run a background check on the both of you.

I'm honest so nothing is hidden about me if I like a woman and I hope she will do the same, maybe not on the first couple of dates unless she asks right away but it would not change my view of her either way. There is so much more to a person then their credit check.

anyone who had a sick kid, a parent death, a business failure, a divorce or even loss of a job and insurance. this person is going to be in debt. now all you that are putting neg vibes out there hopefully this economy doesnt hurt you in the long run.

If you're too afraid of seeming like a shallow douche to ask for someone's credit history before the first date then please don't be aghast when they aren't comfortable putting it out there before they know you.

so when, exactly, should they tell you they are in debt?

first date?
second date?
fifth date?

you might already 'be involved' with them before they feel comfortable enough talking about finances with you.

I don't believe anyone said they judge people mainly on credit scores. Life happens, it's how you deal with it that counts.

I am looking for integrity. That dosn't mean you have to be debt free, it means your debt is being managed responsably.

People are reacting very emotionally to this thread,(my self included) which is exactly proving the point that finances need to be dicussed before you get serious.

When you 1st dicuss the possability of marraige, co habitation, having kids together or doing business as a couple.

In my opinion, it does not matter until the question of combined finances enters the picture. That is the point in time when your financial burdens can potentially affect your loved one. It’s a question of personal responsibility and integrity.

It amazes me that marriage is all love & romance at the start, but money & territory at the end. I think all people applying for a marraige licence should be required to have a brief lesson what it means to be legally married in thier state. Signing that marrige certificate means you are entering into a legal contract similar to forming a corporation.

That’s too unromantic for a lot of people to worry their pretty little heads over.

also carefully measure his/her spending habits. Does he/she spend on needless stuff? don't just worry about the past debts, but future debts as well :-)

Marriage is primarily an economic institution. Most of the legal relationships between a couple exist whether or not they get married. If you ever sign a joint tax return, you'll have to get divorced to go back to filing single, whether you were ever married.

If you were becoming seriously involved with someone, would it not be in both your interests to clean the slate of the debts so you could both have a new start together and budget your income so this subject doesn’t become a major stumbling block in the relationship.
Put something a side for a rainy day, for the unexpected

That is something I can agree with. Dealing with your own debts is something that everyone should do. Shouldn't try to find someone to bail you out. *snicker*

Wow, why didn't the banks think of that.

First; IANAL (I Am Not A Lawyer). This cannot be used as legal adivce
Second; I've gone through the estate process before.

A parental death? In what state or country do you live in where parental debt is passed on after death? All debt, personally owned and not jointly, generally has to file a claim with the estate. When the estate hits "zero", it is bankrupt and no more debtors can collect.

Because the banks didn't know what mortgages were carried in the mortgage backed securities... heh, otherwise they would have the credit scores of the mortgage packages! Oh, and the legal departments of a few said "this is a bad idea" but were overridden by "Everyone's doing it!"

I'm a Libertarian; why the hell did we bail them out in the first place?

So they could give employees outlandish christmas bonuses?

I voted for Ron Paul, your guess is as good as mine really.