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| Topic: Debts | |
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So they could give employees outlandish christmas bonuses? I voted for Ron Paul, your guess is as good as mine really.  Me too, then I gave up on the republican party after re-analyzing my views and noticed that pretty much everything I hold true is in another party. |
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Lets put this into perspective here.
It is one thing to be in debt and be honest about it. It is also one thing to not want others to share the burden we as individuals amass. Responsibility can be a total slut ***** whore to people. Kids get sick and kids get hurt but kids are also dependent on their parents to raise and care for them. That takes a VERY strong single parent to face those obligations and they can EASILY get dragged into a financial hole. It takes gobs of cash to raise kids especially dealing with medical costs, and clothing, and food, and the list goes on. A man or women who is honest about their situation is honorable especially when they do not seek others to share their responsibilities. It is asinine for any MAN or Woman to assume someone is going to suddenly decide to shoulder such a burden out of the blue. That is not what a relationship is not about because that is a relationship of convenience and it that is what it is about then somebody had better be honest. I am just managing to pay my rent and bills. I do not have any credit. I rent. What makes you think for one second in the land of the superficial (and keep in mind this is Los Angeles I am talking about) a guy can score the girl here at all unless he can float the credit for his flash? Personality only goes so far unless you got "the look." Why do you think credit is important to some people? They can live higher lifestyles than they can afford. It gets them into their BMWs and Benzes so fluffy cottontails assume "OH This guy is something. Look at the car he drives!" Does it matter if he actually owns it or not? Fakers float on credit. Smart people don't. Look around and see what credit caused! Don't look down on someone for struggling to bear responsibility! Look down on them for being stupid and digging themselves into a deep hole they cannot get themselves out of. It isn't you or me twisting their arms to abuse their credit! To the single parents fighting to take care of your children, this is coming from a child of a broken home, I commend you for your strength! It is tough! I know! Making the right choices can be hard as hell to make and nobody is making it any easier! Love is blind but that does not mean you have to be! 
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Am I that drunk Irish Liar?
I'm not Irish!!!!!!!!! |
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Lets put this into perspective here. It is one thing to be in debt and be honest about it. It is also one thing to not want others to share the burden we as individuals amass. Responsibility can be a total slut ***** whore to people. Kids get sick and kids get hurt but kids are also dependent on their parents to raise and care for them. That takes a VERY strong single parent to face those obligations and they can EASILY get dragged into a financial hole. It takes gobs of cash to raise kids especially dealing with medical costs, and clothing, and food, and the list goes on. A man or women who is honest about their situation is honorable especially when they do not seek others to share their responsibilities. It is asinine for any MAN or Woman to assume someone is going to suddenly decide to shoulder such a burden out of the blue. That is not what a relationship is not about because that is a relationship of convenience and it that is what it is about then somebody had better be honest. I am just managing to pay my rent and bills. I do not have any credit. I rent. What makes you think for one second in the land of the superficial (and keep in mind this is Los Angeles I am talking about) a guy can score the girl here at all unless he can float the credit for his flash? Personality only goes so far unless you got "the look." Why do you think credit is important to some people? They can live higher lifestyles than they can afford. It gets them into their BMWs and Benzes so fluffy cottontails assume "OH This guy is something. Look at the car he drives!" Does it matter if he actually owns it or not? Fakers float on credit. Smart people don't. Look around and see what credit caused! Don't look down on someone for struggling to bear responsibility! Look down on them for being stupid and digging themselves into a deep hole they cannot get themselves out of. It isn't you or me twisting their arms to abuse their credit! To the single parents fighting to take care of your children, this is coming from a child of a broken home, I commend you for your strength! It is tough! I know! Making the right choices can be hard as hell to make and nobody is making it any easier! Love is blind but that does not mean you have to be! I agree with you. Thats exactly my thoughts, but last night had a bit too much wine to express in that way. 
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andy You are advocating for dishonesty in the fact that there is no way I could make an informed decision on whether or not to remain with a person in major financial difficulty if I did not know this and it was kept secret from me in some respect. I have to disagree. Love 101 does his deception break your trust? did his evasiveness break your trust? Did you ask? If you did and he lied to you, you were deceived. HOW IN THE HECK do you conclude that I advocate dishonesty? I DO NOT AT ALL! I hope you didn't co mingle credit? My mother refused to when she got married the second time. It was a GOOD thing she didn't. My mom just about has her house paid off and she is about to retire with all of her retirement bases covered. She divorced the choad and her second husband had to leave town and left in DEEP debt. Was she wrong to protect herself? You have to cover your ass and a good man will always remind you of that! A good man will admit to his debt! If he lies and you are faked out and you find out later and you feel hurt don't get mad at us! The psychological term for that is Displacement. It is not us you should be mad at and not yourself. We didn't lie. If hanging your hat with a liar makes you happy so be it. If it doesn't then the answer is obvious! I am only partially Irish, like a quarter only. The rest is something else a little more southern European.   |
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Too personal for a thread topic
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Edited by
littleredhen
on
Fri 01/02/09 10:44 PM
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It's a great thread topic for a singles site. It get people thinking & comunicating on a very important topic. No one was asked to disclose personal information,although some did use themselves as examples it was thier choice & obviously they were comfortable doing so. This taboo about dicussing money has caused many problems in relationships.
To me it's like std/birth control, if the discussion is too personal, the act surely is. Moving ahead with financial intercourse without taking precaution is risky. |
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It's a great thread topic for a singles site. It get people thinking & comunicating on a very important topic. No one was asked to disclose personal information,although some did use themselves as examples it was thier choice & obviously they were comfortable doing so. This taboo about dicussing money has caused many problems in relationships. To me it's like std/birth control, if the discussion is too personal, the act surely is. Moving ahead with financial intercourse without taking precaution is risky. It sure has been educational to see the different perspectives! |
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Edited by
littleredhen
on
Fri 01/02/09 10:47 PM
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If you were becoming seriously involved with someone, would it not be in both your interests to clean the slate of the debts so you could both have a new start together and budget your income so this subject doesn’t become a major stumbling block in the relationship. Put something a side for a rainy day, for the unexpected That is something I can agree with. Dealing with your own debts is something that everyone should do. Shouldn't try to find someone to bail you out. *snicker* Wow, why didn't the banks think of that.   |
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So would anyone get involved with anyone who did not tell you that they had debts, that they were not making any payments? I would not, as that’s a lie and if there going to lie about that to you then what else are they going to lie about? but if they did tell you would you get involved with them ? ROFLMFAO!!!  I wasn't really talking about anyone inparticular. 
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Too personal for a thread topic Yet its not too personal to B1tch and moan about it later on when you move too quickly and marry someone with screwed up credit.
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Edited by
Krimsa
on
Sat 01/03/09 03:22 AM
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andy You are advocating for dishonesty in the fact that there is no way I could make an informed decision on whether or not to remain with a person in major financial difficulty if I did not know this and it was kept secret from me in some respect. I have to disagree. Love 101 does his deception break your trust? did his evasiveness break your trust? Did you ask? If you did and he lied to you, you were deceived. HOW IN THE HECK do you conclude that I advocate dishonesty? I DO NOT AT ALL! I hope you didn't co mingle credit? My mother refused to when she got married the second time. It was a GOOD thing she didn't. My mom just about has her house paid off and she is about to retire with all of her retirement bases covered. She divorced the choad and her second husband had to leave town and left in DEEP debt. Was she wrong to protect herself? You have to cover your ass and a good man will always remind you of that! A good man will admit to his debt! If he lies and you are faked out and you find out later and you feel hurt don't get mad at us! The psychological term for that is Displacement. It is not us you should be mad at and not yourself. We didn't lie. If hanging your hat with a liar makes you happy so be it. If it doesn't then the answer is obvious! I am only partially Irish, like a quarter only. The rest is something else a little more southern European. Not AndyBGood. Talldub. The posts go one on top of another . His real name is Andy. I agree with you 100%. I have been an advocate for total honesty once the relationship meets that level of disclosure. It is wrong to conceal fiances no matter how bad they are from another. He is from Ireland and some other person was calling him an Irish liar. NOT ME. I am Irish/Italian myself.
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To the single parents fighting to take care of your children, this is coming from a child of a broken home, I commend you for your strength! It is tough! I know! Making the right choices can be hard as hell to make and nobody is making it any easier! Love is blind but that does not mean you have to be!  |
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If a man chose to dump you based on your keeping this hidden from him, I would not blame him. If you revealed it, had a plan in place to get your life in order and your finances under control again, then that is something you should have no trouble being open and honest about. In fact you have a responsibility to do so if you plan on the relationship progressing. That is my opinion only.
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It becomes your responsibility if and when it effects the life of another. That is most likely to occur if you decide to live together or get a joint credit card or sign for a loan or in some way combine your finances. Even when you go to rent an apartment, you will both need to be on the lease and they will run a background check on the both of you.  |
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I am looking for integrity. That dosn't mean you have to be debt free, it means your debt is being managed responsably. People are reacting very emotionally to this thread,(my self included) which is exactly proving the point that finances need to be dicussed before you get serious. |
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andy You are advocating for dishonesty in the fact that there is no way I could make an informed decision on whether or not to remain with a person in major financial difficulty if I did not know this and it was kept secret from me in some respect. I have to disagree. Love 101 does his deception break your trust? did his evasiveness break your trust? Did you ask? If you did and he lied to you, you were deceived. HOW IN THE HECK do you conclude that I advocate dishonesty? I DO NOT AT ALL! I hope you didn't co mingle credit? My mother refused to when she got married the second time. It was a GOOD thing she didn't. My mom just about has her house paid off and she is about to retire with all of her retirement bases covered. She divorced the choad and her second husband had to leave town and left in DEEP debt. Was she wrong to protect herself? You have to cover your ass and a good man will always remind you of that! A good man will admit to his debt! If he lies and you are faked out and you find out later and you feel hurt don't get mad at us! The psychological term for that is Displacement. It is not us you should be mad at and not yourself. We didn't lie. If hanging your hat with a liar makes you happy so be it. If it doesn't then the answer is obvious! I am only partially Irish, like a quarter only. The rest is something else a little more southern European. Not AndyBGood. Talldub. The posts go one on top of another . His real name is Andy. I agree with you 100%. I have been an advocate for total honesty once the relationship meets that level of disclosure. It is wrong to conceal fiances no matter how bad they are from another. He is from Ireland and some other person was calling him an Irish liar. NOT ME. I am Irish/Italian myself. Actually it's Andrew. And the person calling me a liar is a friend, am pretty certain it was being used sarcastically. Honesty I'm all up for. A relationship should be based on openness and trust, amongst things. Again, I'm saying that you know about the persons poor credit rating and that the cause of the poor credit rating is not be of their own (direct) doing, maybe a health issue caused them to have to stop working. Sh!t happens to people, does it mean that they should be tossed aside because of it? I'm not advocating that you hook up with someone that makes terrible spending choices and is going to screw up your life. What I am saying is that a credit rating is just a number, no more, no less. It is not a measure of the person and, IMO, if you're going to be with someone then it should be because of who they are on an emotional and intellectual level, not how much they make or whether they can afford the same things as you. I see people who have married as they are both earning lots of money and money attracts money but there's no real love and their children (and they) suffer from it. Sure, they have all the trinkets and gadgets they could desire but as a species that's not what we really need. I know people that could barely keep a roof over their heads but they're far happier. I'm not saying that possessions are not important to us but if you've got a roof over your head, food in your stomach and a partner/family that loves and cares for you then really you already have everything that you need and you're far luckier than a hell of a lot of people on this planet. |
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Edited by
Krimsa
on
Sat 01/03/09 11:37 AM
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Actually it's Andrew. And the person calling me a liar is a friend, am pretty certain it was being used sarcastically. Does that concern me at all?  I just wanted to make sure that AndyBGood (who is a friend) did not confuse me with whoever was making these stupid remarks that can easily be misinterpreted. Leave me out of that nonsense. Honesty I'm all up for. A relationship should be based on openness and trust, amongst things. Then please explain how I would be able to make an informed decision in regard to the relationship and whether or not I wanted to remain with a man if he hides his financial situation from me? You have yet to answer that question. I am an advocate for full disclosure and honesty and have been throughout. If you cant understand that, I wont sit here and explain it to you over and over again. I have also repeatedly explained to you that I WOULD NOT MARRY a man or choose to enter into a co-habitation arrangement if he had dug himself into a hole financially, was attempting to hide this from me, and had no course of action in order to remedy this predicament he had created for himself. Why should I jeopardize my own good credit? Is the time and effort and responsibility that I have invested into building up my good standing worth nothing? Do I just throw that all away? When have I ever ONCE said that my preferred mate had to make as much money as I? Please find that and quote it. You have repeatedly misrepresented my position. I have told you I WOULD NOT MARRY A PERSON WITH BAD CREDIT. Primarily I would have concerns that my credit history would be negatively effected as a direct consequence of that decision. I would not engage in matrimony with a person who had irresponsible spending habits and was making no efforts to pull themselves out of debt. Thats referred to as looking after one's self. Im also probably the most non-materialistic person you will find. |
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Please find that and quote it. Tell you what, when you find the quotes that I asked you to find, I'll go and do the same. |
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Please find that and quote it. Tell you what, when you find the quotes that I asked you to find, I'll go and do the same. What have you ever asked me to find? You have REPEATEDLY stated that I am some kind of terribly, selfish woman who would leave any man as soon as I were to know that he had bad credit. Untrue of course. In that case, you are advocating for dishonesty. I cant go along with that without complaint. |
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