The shame is not in me. Its like blaming the victim for being victimized. The shame is in people who prey on others for their own ego or sadistic pleasures. I'm making conscious choices and working through my sh!t every day to better my life. I don't need negativity like yours to pull me down. But, hey....you get off on that, lil darlin' dontcha? Whateva' floats yer boat. I'm no stranger to the ways of your kind.

Peace out.

Sad how the original topic got hijacked.

No.

Like others, they "didn't think it was anyone else's business". Why the hell would I want to associate with users like that.

Who did I overlook? Were you in my life to know that I overlooked any perfectly good men? No. So don't deign to answer for me then.

These men did not hide their issues; but, they did hide the TRUE REASONS for their financial issues from me throughout most of the relationship. I never knew it was a matter of CHARACTER, rather than honest misfortune or mistake until I could no longer tolerate it.

Have you ever been conned before? From someone with a long and very successful history of it? No? Then don't talk if you don't know where I'm coming from. Ask longhairbiker what its like. He's no dummy. No fool.

That's not very nice. She can't help it if someone hid their addiction from her. People don't get into relationships knowing that in advance.

You may not be able to tell if you will be happy with someone,
but you can certainly point out a loser. Especially a loser with a very long history.

I am not judging you. I simply collect the facts.

I haven't had a single credit card by choice for well over a decade. Other than my house, I have always just written a check or bought it outright, including cars, machines, and more toys than any one person should have. As of next month, I'll be 8% invested into this home, which isn't bad for 5 months.

Credit is more dangerous than it's really worth, in my opinion, and it's not like I haven't been offered credit cards, lines of credit ad nausium, but it's really a trap. If I'm feeling particularly spiteful, I just shread the credit application, put it in the self-addressed stamped envelope, and mail it back to them.

What is more important, what one has, or what one can get if he wants to sell his soul to lenders?

HellKitten, was this who you were talking about???

ROFLMFAO!!!

Are we even still discussing debt and the implication there of on relationships or no?

Being in a relationship isn't necessarily a reason for full financial dislosure. Preparation for marriage, however, should be a reason for both sides to know assets and liabilities.

I wasn't really talking about anyone inparticular.

Exactly. That is what I have attempted to express about 4 times now. Normally, in a brand new dating situation, there is no need to discuss such personal topics. However if the relationship progresses to this point, then it dam well becomes important. Full disclosure.

Well I'm glad I'm not getting married to anyone in this group.

A credit score CAN be fixed, so I dont see what the big deal is.

you mean there are still people who have credit?

The big deal is that it could possibly effect your significant other in a negative way.

I do.

Not if the person with the debt is paying it off. You act like every single person is irresponsible, and that isn't right.

I have said NO SUCH THING. I ask you to find that quote? If you are making payments and its under control, great. However if you are treading water, have mountains of negative debt and are spending yourself into an early grave, then if you are planning on marriage it would ABSOLUTELY be a disservice to hide this information from your partner. Let the chips fall where they may.

I didn't say YOU SAID IT, I said YOU ACT AS IF. There is a difference.

Whatever. I'm not getting married to anyone here, so it doesn't matter. Plus, there are so many different reasons people have debt, it's not always about living beyond their means. My debts are because of my son being sick and medical bills. That is why I say it's not anyones business why people are in debt.

I'm glad your credit is great, people work hard for it, but sometimes it's beyond someones control.

Okay peace. I like you hell, lets not argue about silliness.

my credit sucks

I was making $80k when I got sick and had to quit work. And I had $80k worth of bills. Nothing I could do but default. The only good thing was that my student loans were discharged on the basis of being permanently disabled

I couldn't finance a piece of bubble gum now