Your sudden weight gain or husband's dissatisfaction in bed is not what prompts him to cheat, says best-selling author and marriage counsellor, who in his new book has unravelled what makes men stray.

For his new book, 'Why Men Stray And What You Can Do To Prevent It', M Gary Neuman spent two years studying 100 men who had affairs and 100 men who were faithful.

And he found that men cheat not because the other woman is prettier and slimmer, but because they aren't emotionally satisfied with their wives or girlfriends.

"Only eight per cent of the cheating men said it was sexual dissatisfaction at home and 88 per cent said the mistress was not better-looking or in better shape than their wife.

He added: "The number one reason behind their cheating was the emotional dissatisfaction they felt in their marriage and the emotional connection they unfortunately developed in the affair."

In fact, he found that around 69 per cent men had initially thought they would never cheat and were actually surprised at their own insecurity.

"They didn't think they'd fall into an illicit relationship because they were in need of some appreciation and admiration," explained Neuman.

But it doesn't mean that the blame lies with the woman, said Neuman, as many women are interested in learning what they could have done to prevent their partner's adultery.

"It tells women that emotional connection at home is by far the most important way to develop a happy marriage and reduce the risk of cheating," he said.

According to Neuman, the signs of adultery are:

1.He spends more time away from home.

2.You have sex infrequently.

3.He avoids contact with you.

4.He criticises you more often.

5.He starts fights with you.

6.He may start talking about other women.

Women cheat too.. I think the main reason people cheat is because they can't be alone so they settle for the first thing that comes along.. and while they are with whoever it is that they settled for they are still on the lookout for the next best thing... and since they don't want to be alone.. they will 'try out' the next prospect to see if it works.. while keeping the one they settle for around since they are a sure thing for the time being...





then again.. you get those that just cant keep their pants on..

I've never cheated in my life. Even when my ex decided she needed to screw her ex-boyfriend, I didn't retaliate and lower my standards. Even when I found out it had been going on for four years behind my back, I still kept my pants on.

And then was the happiest bas-tard you've ever seen when the divorce was final and I was free from that complete IDIOT.

People cheat because they are worthless, untrustworthy scum.

I don't need a book from a PhD to tell me that.....

I cheated on my taxes once.

haven't you seen this episode of oprah?

I believe everything on the Jerry Springer show. Say it loud....

"Jerry!.....Jerry!.....Jerry!"

so, what does it mean when they cheat the very first month you are together? And, then repeatedly through the relationship in spite of your best efforts to be enough for them?

that would be the IRS who's knocking on your door right now.

You'd be enough for me.

Honestly I believe that if someone is going to cheat it does not matter how good or bad the situation is at home. For they will cheat no matter what.

And as far as this statement (2.You have sex infrequently.) I could shoot that one all to hell and back. That was not even truth with my ex and I Sex was not and area we neither had a problem in nor lack of when we were together.


And as far as avoiding contact with me humm not we were very active we both worked full time and spent almost the whole weekend together going to events with our horses.

Ohh and now they have emotional dissatisfaction in the home so this is a real good reason to cheat? NOT seems to me all this study is showing that the one cheating is not emotional stable to deal with their feelings so what do they do ohhh they decide to cheat on their spouse. Hummm what a solution. You would think they could have enough self esteem to go to their spouse and say honey something is lacking in our relationship and I feel we are loosing the spark and I don't want this. I mean does it not make more sense to learn to talk to the one you love and live with them a solution to cheat?

Does some really believe that what ever is missing they will find it with another what they once had with the one they are with. The only thing cheating does is create yet more emotional problems for everyone not just the one cheating.

So to me most can take their studies and throw them out the window. For they have never really came up with why. Truth is both sexes are weak in the area of being faithful and it takes a strong person to keep their perspectives in order. I'm sure at times many get offers to cheat in a relationship.

I had several offers myself yeah sure it makes you feel good when others flirt and say they wish you were not married ect. But......it takes and emotional stable person with their emotions in check to remind themselves of who they are with and why they are with that person. One that believes in the vows they said and has both feet planted in reality. Even if they are not married but in a relationship with another those same values should still out way any urges our bodies have.

Myself I just can not understand why if one is within a relationship they no longer want to be in why not end it and move on.

Problem is that is not the true case with most that cheats for they have no intentions of leaving the one they are with. Wonder how come most of these studies never mention that one. For I have talked to several that cheated and the last thing on their mind was ending the relationship they were in for they did love that person. Hummm go figure.........


Even my ex till the day I told him to get out after trying for 2 years I'm through trying to make this marriage work and you choose to not even make and effort. He begged me not to make him go and also said he would not have ever left me for any of those women they meant nothing to him and I was the one he really loved.

Was this true possible for I do know for a fact one woman moved out of town due to she begged him to leave me and he in fact told her that he would never leave me.

But at times those choices are no longer for them to make and the one that is emotional stable with their feelings and knows how to deal with situations in reality takes over and does what is needed. We then get out of situations with others that can not deal with their emotional problems and take over being a Mother& Father and the provider for the family and go forward with our lives.


Humm okay I'll get off my soap box for now. But with all the money they spend on researches that they still come up empty handed in you would think they could come up with better facts if they actually talk to that many that are truly honest with the reasons they really cheated. To many try to blame it on the relationship which most of the time that is a cop out.

Why's it gotta be men ?

ladies are pimps to,

Humm it is never just Men it is both on equal terms have seen it happen both ways and my feelings are the same whether it be a Man or a Woman cheating.

Actually in reality we hear about it more on the Men doing it due to the fact most Men do not want to admit that a woman cheated on them. Guess that could be due to it takes a jab at their Manhood. Which in reality it's not them but the one they are with. No one likes to admit they have been cheated on. For at times others judge them as if they must be at fault. It is sad that others even think that but they do that is reality!!

sorry to underestimate you

Yup women cheat too

I know but we are talking only about men here

this is true

Humm but......... are the reasons pretty much the same for both?

And yeah not all women or men cheat I know plenty that have never cheated on their partner. I just was not so lucky to find one of those yet.

What is funny is that most of those that do cheat can not give a specific reason for why they cheated besides it just happen and they got caught up in the moment. Well after they get away with it once then shshs what is a second time to them. for no matter what the ending is still going to be the same in their mind.

right

That's right, the excuses offered here are just sugar coating it.