Topic: As an agnositc/atheist, how do you deal with...
Inkracer's photo
Sat 04/25/09 06:12 PM




and I always find it useful to bring up how
their loving sensitive personal god
delights in little children starving to death

what helps is when you can show 'em pictures.


Yeah no kidding. It's also useful against rapid anti-abortionists too. It drives me crazy when they spout off about how wrong an abortion is but they'll do nothing about the 30000 or so actually born kids that die from starvation each and every day on this planet.


My favorite thing to do is to ask three little questions about god...
Usually goes something like this:
Me: You're Imaginary Friend-
Them: God. His name is God.
Me: Whatever, anyway, your little sky man is supposed to be All-knowing, right?
Them: Of Course!
Me: Your little friend is supposed to be All-Powerful, right?
Them: You Bet!
Me: And you believe that he is loving?
Them: Yes! He Shows his lov-
Me: So, your imaginary friend, knows what is going to happen, like 9/11, the Holocaust, or the famine going on right now, has the power to step in, and protect those people who died, rather savagely I might add, but didn't. Are you sure you know the definition of love?

no photo
Sun 04/26/09 08:27 AM





and I always find it useful to bring up how
their loving sensitive personal god
delights in little children starving to death

what helps is when you can show 'em pictures.


Yeah no kidding. It's also useful against rapid anti-abortionists too. It drives me crazy when they spout off about how wrong an abortion is but they'll do nothing about the 30000 or so actually born kids that die from starvation each and every day on this planet.


My favorite thing to do is to ask three little questions about god...
Usually goes something like this:
Me: You're Imaginary Friend-
Them: God. His name is God.
Me: Whatever, anyway, your little sky man is supposed to be All-knowing, right?
Them: Of Course!
Me: Your little friend is supposed to be All-Powerful, right?
Them: You Bet!
Me: And you believe that he is loving?
Them: Yes! He Shows his lov-
Me: So, your imaginary friend, knows what is going to happen, like 9/11, the Holocaust, or the famine going on right now, has the power to step in, and protect those people who died, rather savagely I might add, but didn't. Are you sure you know the definition of love?


And they'll respond with something like "Of course. It's all part of God's plan"
To which I respond w/ "It's all part of God's plan for all those kids to die, each and every day? Well your God is quite an **shole, isn't he."
And they say "You just don't understand"
To which I say "You're damn right. I don't understand."

Thoughtfulthug's photo
Tue 05/05/09 09:23 AM
Daniel Dennett said something like Religion is something analogous to a parasite. In order for the Religion to survive, they must continuously seek out new host.

So the best solution to this problem is to kill the hosts before they infect the other hosts with their parasite.

Militant?

Kirpet's photo
Mon 05/11/09 10:45 PM
To be honest, I just don't answer the door.
Whether they see me or not.

no photo
Wed 05/13/09 11:55 AM
I always invite them in and open the discussion.
My favorite is the Mormons. First get them to tell you the tenets of Mormonism. After they get to the avoidance of stimulants like caffeine (since the body is God's temple) ask them why members of the Church of LDS have controlling inters in PepsiCo, one of the largers purveyors of caffeine in the world.

Also it's fun to ask about the hat of prophecy and the golden plates.

Whatever the flavor of prosthelyzer shows up at your door just ask the questions that cut at the core of all religions.

How do you know you are right?
Why are there so many conflicting religions?
What about dinosaurs? (evolution)

The goal isn't to win the argument at the door. It is to sow doubt. If they doubt then they might actually think for a change.




rockabilly_mike's photo
Tue 06/23/09 12:55 PM
i dont get all rude with them,but if they want a debate i'll give them one....i just tell them im not interested and if they ask why i tell them im a atheist. and if they ask why im a atheist i rtell them why...if they dont agree and wanna get "your going to hell" etc i say have a good day and slam the door

TexasScoundrel's photo
Mon 06/29/09 11:02 PM

...."missionaries" knocking on your door and getting all haughty with you when you try to politely tell them that you're an unbeliever and that you have your reasons for being thus?

I hope this forum works out and we don't have 'missionaires' sneaking in with sock puppets to disrupt it.

-Kerry O.


LOL I invite them in. Then I put on a long black cape and suction cup horns.

Roskolnikov's photo
Fri 10/23/09 11:22 PM
If I answer the door I laugh and tell them I am an atheist then I say "but I think my neighbor is a born again you should try him." Then I close the door.

jrbogie's photo
Sat 10/24/09 05:22 AM
i'm always happy to discuss religion. if they want to waste an hour with me it's their time. i'll offer a glass of lemonade or whatever and sit dowm for a chat. great sport.

LadyChiro's photo
Mon 11/02/09 10:21 PM
To be honest, I have a lot of fun with the people who knock on my door. My favorite were these two Mormon gentlemen. When I told them I wasn't interested, they talked with me about Harry Potter for an hour!
Of course, I like to give them directions too. I'll point and say "Mr. Wiggins over there is great for some conversation! and I'm sure those people across the Cul-de-sac could use whatever your sellin'...." (Not really in those words, but you get my point.)

Really, I just try to be polite and pleasant.
And if they aren't in return have fun slamming that door in their over-extended noses!

wux's photo
Mon 11/02/09 10:55 PM

To be honest, I have a lot of fun with the people who knock on my door. My favorite were these two Mormon gentlemen. When I told them I wasn't interested, they talked with me about Harry Potter for an hour!
Of course, I like to give them directions too. I'll point and say "Mr. Wiggins over there is great for some conversation! and I'm sure those people across the Cul-de-sac could use whatever your sellin'...." (Not really in those words, but you get my point.)

Really, I just try to be polite and pleasant.
And if they aren't in return have fun slamming that door in their over-extended noses!


I lose my patience with them, really quickly.

In a store once a couple started to talk to me about Jesus in the cashier's line. I did not know what got into me, but I hurled expletives at them, and every time they responded "Jesus loves you" I hurled expletives at Jesus as well. I was getting louder and louder, and I at the end I was screaming expletives at them, at Jesus, and at the entire Holy Trinity at the top of my lungs. I got so worked up about their not shutting up their big effing mouths that I was ready to punch the guy out, so I put the merchandize on the floor and walked out of the store.

no photo
Mon 11/02/09 11:46 PM
i collect them in my basement. so all you people that love em so much, i can probably get you one. but they are kind of big so.. you might have to do some reassembling..... yea...

wux's photo
Tue 11/03/09 12:13 PM
Edited by wux on Tue 11/03/09 12:18 PM

If they wake me up I tell them to get a life and slam the door in their face. Other times I tell them you won't change my mind and I won't change yours. Then I offer them a refreshment and send them on their way.


Good policy.

I usually offer them ten bucks to go away or to convert to their faiths if they have sex with me first.

I am now $23,900 into the hole, and been baptized in 48 different evangelist sects.

In 46 of these 48, I've been born again... baptized again... born again... born again... born again... baptized each time.

I single-handedly support the financial basis of three African and two Antarctican missions, because their churches have really ugly messengers from god who bring me tidings of great joy.

I say unto them, unto you a child is porn.**

** Not my original. A friend of mine coined this.

Scrittore's photo
Mon 11/16/09 06:02 PM
John Safran retaliated with an atheist door knocking sketch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U58wgn-9Y3c

wux's photo
Mon 11/30/09 09:22 PM

I love dorms, no missionaries.

It was a slap in the face when my mom got me a bible for my birthday, though.
Ouch.


If I were you, I'd have slapped mom with the bible right away.

missyfissy's photo
Fri 09/23/11 08:51 PM
Edited by missyfissy on Fri 09/23/11 09:04 PM

...."missionaries" knocking on your door and getting all haughty with you when you try to politely tell them that you're an unbeliever and that you have your reasons for being thus?

I hope this forum works out and we don't have 'missionaires' sneaking in with sock puppets to disrupt it.

-Kerry O.




I find that politeness works all the way round and I've never had trouble with missionaries. If they want to chat at the door for a few minutes and give me their viewpoints, that's fine. Most of them have really good intentions at heart and -- hey, what's wrong with having a "civil" conversation now and then with people who think differently from you?

I've never yet found a haughty one. Generally people will act toward you in the same manner you act toward them, and if you're polite they will be too.

Any conversation with anyone that's different from your own beliefs never hurts. Such conversations simply expand the mind. They keep people from becoming too narrow minded and "bullheaded" and help people learn to appreciate differences in each other.

Sometimes I've chatted at the door with these people for half an hour, and they left on good happy terms, even though at the end I told them I wasn't interested in taking that further because I was basically content with my life the way it is.

I hate ruining anyone's day. Every time you make someone happy the karma comes back to you and vice versa. Sometimes I've even read their literature and whether or not I agree, some parts of it can even be interesting.

If I'm not in the mood to chat, I simply don't answer the door. Peepholes are cheap and easy to install. Also, most religious canvassers days "knock" instead of ring the bell, so that's also a purposeful hint in case you don't feel like answering.

I wonder why anyone answers his door these days though. Why don't they just tell their friends to call in advance? 95% of the time people will just selling something anyway, and 1% of the time it could be dangerous. The other 4% will remember to call in advance next time and you won't have to continually get company when you're in the bathtub, are doing your hair, or are in the middle of something else you would rather continue doing.

slickrs8611's photo
Tue 09/27/11 07:27 PM
I answer annoying people like that with "satan made me do it!" to any question they ask. If they are rude enough not to listen to me after I tell them im an atheist. Then well.... Thats on them. Childish? Yes. Fun? Hell yeah!

CortoMaltese's photo
Mon 10/31/11 04:36 AM

I really enjoy wasting their time. So I get that real excited look and I tell them. Wow, I can't your here. PLEASE let me share my experience with you.

I begin by telling them about how church never made sense to me, as a child, and my struggle to undertand. All the churches I visited, etc. And each time them they interrupt I just say, "oh yea, and let me tell you this. I just keep building on the story, year of my life. Then when it seems Im loosing them, I tell them, oh wait, I'm just getting to the revelation.

Then I go into great, explicit detail about the epiphany I suddeny had and how the weight of the world seemed to lift from my shoulders... They usually gain a bit of interest back at that point. I spend some time building it up, till I'm about to loose them again then I spit out

It was an amazing feeling, a sense of relief to finally say out loud. Da mn I'm an athiest, that's why I can't believe this sh t, and as they're, nearly, running away, I hold up my arm and scream halleluia, I'm free, free at last from the oppression.

Then I just go inside and close the door.

It's kinda sad, becasue the last time that happened was about 5 years ago. I see them all still, going door to door, but my door is no longer pounded on....

TRUE STORY!


Loveable! :D

wux's photo
Mon 10/31/11 09:51 PM
I live in a different town now from the place where I lived when I left my earlier messages on this thread.

In the old town there were no missionaires. It was a predominantly Moslim settlement, I figure that must have been the reason. (Toronto, Ontario, Canada.)

Now I live in nearly purely blonde, blue-eyed town, beautiful, beautiful people, both inside and out. So I stick out like a sore thumb (short, swarthy, fat, ugly), and I stick in as well like a sore thumb (arrogant, haughty, condescending, too smart for his own looks). This stick-in is changing, the spiritual beauty is transforming me into a nicer, better, new and improved human being.

But I found even the missionaries in this new town (London, Ontario, Canada) are nice and cute and non-agressive.

Today, for instance, near the hospital I was biking to see my shrink, and two exceptionally Hitler-Jugend type of beautiful, strapping and holy-looking male youth approached me. I was waiting for the light to change. He said something nice to me; I looked at his dog tag he wore on his belt hook, and I saw the word "elder" and he was one-third my age. I said, sorry, Elder Brother, I do not talk about religion, I just simply don't. He nodded, and did not press on.

The light changed, I noticed there were a number of anti-abortionists camping out on the curb (with a lawn on it) and then later an extremely beautiful-looking 73-year-old petite classy lady, very motherly and cute looking, was carrying an anti-abortion slogan. I said to her, which I never do, I am too shy and too classy and too anal than to insult strangers this way, but to her I had to say it, coz she was so exceptionally cute, and her skin so white and without blemish, and her completely white hair just so -- I said to her, loudly, "Hi there, good lookin'!!" and she never even laid eyes on me, let alone go down on me.

So much for winning me over to the anti-choice side. I am telling ya, if that chick came in to the interview with me, held my hand the whole time, and cuddled with me there, I would have become a military and most staunch pro-lifer. Heck even if she just gave me a nice smile I would have melted onto the pavement like a discarded chewing gum on hot ashphalt in the summer. But no, the boiiiitch completely ignored me. So take this, lady, and put it up your back exit door, together with all the unborn fetuses that you are trying to protect.

TexasScoundrel's photo
Tue 11/22/11 04:01 AM
I ask them if they really want me to believe in a talking snake, that a guy lived in a whale, that a virgin had a son that grew up to be a zombie? That usually shuts them down.