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| Topic: should my friend spank her daughter | |
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i think every kid is different.you handle each one differently.i always tried to talk to my kid,when on the third time she didn't listen,i swatted her booty.like times i used to tell her to hold my hand when crossing the street when she was 3.she didn't listen and would pull away from me and run in the street.i spanked her booty and she never did that again.i can say she's not a bad kid.
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she is only in first grade so 6 about to turn 7 next year
she does do time outs and puts her in her room and takes her toys away and and no tv and no friends |
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My mom never liked spanking if she could help it. I have been spanked when nothing else worked. She tried grounding me, time outs, taking things away and my behavior didn't change. I didn't care about all that stuff. Finally one day I went too far and slapped her when she grounded me. Let me tell you, I nevre hit my mother again. She didn't abuse me EVER! My mom has sacrificed everything for her kids, including for the longest time having a man to share her life with. We always came first. I was spanked 3 maybe 4 times in my entire life and I turned out fine. I don't like hitting people, I am not a violent person. I agree that each child is different and should be raised differently.
BTW if you read the bible: Proverbs 22:15 CHildren naturally do silly things, but a good spanking will teach them how to behave Proverbs 23:12 Don't hesitate to discipline a child. A good spanking won't kill him. As a matter of fact it may save his life. Now I am not religious so this is just for the people that don't think the bible will condone spanking. |
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she is only in first grade so 6 about to turn 7 next year she does do time outs and puts her in her room and takes her toys away and and no tv and no friends best of luck to your friend |
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how old is this child? just out of curiousity.. if the child is over the age of 4 or 5 introducing a new form of punishment, especialy one as extreme as spanking, could do nothing more than just cause the situation to spiral out of controll. tell your friend to lay boundaries and rely on friends and family to help support her. when parents of small children are going through something as huge as a divorce the parents feel guily about the situation and rlues and punishments get more lax. try consistancy and love. with my 4 children.. i give them a time out.. and after the time out i have the child come and talk to me. tell me in their own words WHY they were in the corner, WHY what they did was bad, and WHAT they will do next time instead of what they did.../ granted with 4 kids we have a lot of time out time, but stay consistant. and the child will be fine! best of luck |
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My mom never liked spanking if she could help it. I have been spanked when nothing else worked. She tried grounding me, time outs, taking things away and my behavior didn't change. I didn't care about all that stuff. Finally one day I went too far and slapped her when she grounded me. Let me tell you, I nevre hit my mother again. She didn't abuse me EVER! My mom has sacrificed everything for her kids, including for the longest time having a man to share her life with. We always came first. I was spanked 3 maybe 4 times in my entire life and I turned out fine. I don't like hitting people, I am not a violent person. I agree that each child is different and should be raised differently. BTW if you read the bible: Proverbs 22:15 CHildren naturally do silly things, but a good spanking will teach them how to behave Proverbs 23:12 Don't hesitate to discipline a child. A good spanking won't kill him. As a matter of fact it may save his life. Now I am not religious so this is just for the people that don't think the bible will condone spanking. Just because the bible states it, doesnt mean it is right in everyones life or to be agreed upon... |
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My mom never liked spanking if she could help it. I have been spanked when nothing else worked. She tried grounding me, time outs, taking things away and my behavior didn't change. I didn't care about all that stuff. Finally one day I went too far and slapped her when she grounded me. Let me tell you, I nevre hit my mother again. She didn't abuse me EVER! My mom has sacrificed everything for her kids, including for the longest time having a man to share her life with. We always came first. I was spanked 3 maybe 4 times in my entire life and I turned out fine. I don't like hitting people, I am not a violent person. I agree that each child is different and should be raised differently. BTW if you read the bible: Proverbs 22:15 CHildren naturally do silly things, but a good spanking will teach them how to behave Proverbs 23:12 Don't hesitate to discipline a child. A good spanking won't kill him. As a matter of fact it may save his life. Now I am not religious so this is just for the people that don't think the bible will condone spanking. Just because the bible states it, doesnt mean it is right in everyones life or to be agreed upon... nowhere in my post did I say that it was right... Each child is different and should be treated different. Where one punishment works on one child it may not work on another. If you can do it without spanking then great. I've seen some parenting ideas that i don't particularly agree with but hey thats how they want to raise their children, be my guest. |
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will if i have a kid and all i wood first talk to him or her and try to work it out and not hit the kid at all. but i was spank as a kid a few times but my mom all was talk to me first or she wood had grounded me from fun
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my friend had her daughter when she was about 16 years old but now her daughter is in truoble all the time now that her perents are having a divorce she just started school in 2008 and she does not have much home work at all but she does not went to do it she does not went to put her toys away or clean her room at all but she had a bad temper at times with her mom and she give her tim-outs and grounded her and takes her toys away it all but she is starting to think she needs to spank her but what do you think Sounds to me like she needs to show her daughter who is the boss, and if spanking is what gets it then so be it. I firmly believe in spanking, not beating, but spanking. I was never afraid of taking my girls anywhere. They are all very well behaved. I am not saying they are perfect, but I am the parent. |
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she is only in first grade so 6 about to turn 7 next year she does do time outs and puts her in her room and takes her toys away and and no tv and no friends best of luck to your friend On the other hand it may give her the shock value needed to make her understand that her behavior is not acceptable. And it may take more than one time. She shouldn't think only once will work. If she doesn't follow through, then her daughter will hold it over her and think she is still in control. Counseling only helps if there is an underlying reason for the behavior. Sounds to me she is strong willed and needs to be taught whose the boss. |
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I think it is hilarious when people say spanking is not hitting or beating.
Seriously...It is. Your are point blank striking that child, simply not cool. |
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I'm not for spanking a child at all but then I saw what my sister turned out like...
She was never spanked, not once in her life... She is physically, mentally and emotionally abusive. She does what she wants, when she wants. My mom tried grounding her but she would walk out anyways. Mom took things away which earned her a punch in the head or a slap and my sister took it back, and so on. They tried calling the cops and my sister made it sound like they abused her....I know for a fact she has never once been abused. She's in counseling, know whats its done for her? nothing. She hit her older sister once....older sister hit her back...she never hit her again. Physical violence solves nothing but then theres my sister who has been disowned by 90% of our family, yeah thats a much better life only thing left for my sister is a life behind bars and people talking about what a horrible mother my mom was for not disciplining her when none of the disciplines worked. I was spanked 4 times in my entire life, i learned my lesson each time. May not work for everyone but it taught me a lesson. |
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me being a younger person... I might as well chime in, I see alot of kids now, whining about stupid things, or bad mouthing their mother... The mom tells them to stop it, and that's it. When I was younger, if I was rude in public, I had a choice between the belt, a wooden spoon, or spatchala on the booty. And, i'd generally get a few warnings 'stop that, or i'm gonna blister your ass' and, yeah. It most certainly works better then 'i'm gonna take away your game boy'.
I was at lunch with an old kayaking friend of mine, and she brought her daughter along to this restraunt, she turns around, deliberately knocks the drinks over, and she tells the waitress 'HAHA! You have to clean that up now' That most certainly warrants a spanking as far as i'm concerned. |
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every kid is different i have a son and yes he gets a spanking every now and again when he acts crazy he gets multipl warnings but in the end he knows whats gonna happen and how to stop it! after i spank him i dont yell tho bc he got his punishment! the spanking i feel isnt to hurt its more to suprize ( this is just my opinion) after one smack ive got his attention so i talk calmly to get him to calm down and i talk 2 him about y he got that spanking! the taking things away works some times! u as the parent have to assess the situation and provide the right punishment! sumtimes i can turn off the tv or take his book or toy and he got the point other times u have to be more creative! the most important thing is... and many parents on here have said it is... u need a routine and quality time!!! your friend was really young and things like patience and knowing what is appropriate and what is over doing it comes w age and time i dont know any 16 yr old that i feel really has the patients or maturity for a kid (doesnt mean there arnt any) but the kids acting out and its obvious the "whos the parent and whos the kid" line hasnt been put into place yet!! Good luck tho for the childs sake! just remember bad kids are rare bad parents and too many!!
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every kid is different i have a son and yes he gets a spanking every now and again when he acts crazy he gets multipl warnings but in the end he knows whats gonna happen and how to stop it! after i spank him i dont yell tho bc he got his punishment! the spanking i feel isnt to hurt its more to suprize ( this is just my opinion) after one smack ive got his attention so i talk calmly to get him to calm down and i talk 2 him about y he got that spanking! the taking things away works some times! u as the parent have to assess the situation and provide the right punishment! sumtimes i can turn off the tv or take his book or toy and he got the point other times u have to be more creative! the most important thing is... and many parents on here have said it is... u need a routine and quality time!!! your friend was really young and things like patience and knowing what is appropriate and what is over doing it comes w age and time i dont know any 16 yr old that i feel really has the patients or maturity for a kid (doesnt mean there arnt any) but the kids acting out and its obvious the "whos the parent and whos the kid" line hasnt been put into place yet!! Good luck tho for the childs sake! just remember bad kids are rare bad parents and too many!! will i think my friend she is doing better now she had to end up spanking, but is doing much better from it |
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i am a father of 2 boys that was brought up by the mother which wasnt easy for me but she would spank them and i was the more liberal one i would support them in any decision that they did and most of the time they would get in trouble but they alwaus could of counted on me. i have been at police station to pick one up,the other one would gewt drunk and would call me to pick him up and beleive me the puke i know about it but all in all today they are 27 and 23 they both work and one of them has 2 kids and they are enjoying life like responsible people
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CHildren have funny ways of processing information and sitations. Especially when it comes to divorce. She should look for some therapy for her daughter. Spanking is not the answer if the other forms of discipline did not work. They have therapy for younger kids called play therapy that might help. Maybe some family counseling that focuses on the child's needs may help. Your friend can check with the Children Protective Services in her state to find services she needs or she can go through her insurance. That is probably the best way to handle it. And, of course, love and affection. I think it also depends on how the parents are dealing with the situation. If it is a nasty divorce her behavior is probably going to be worse but if they can keep it civil, it might help. I am no expert, but I went through something similar.
Shawn |
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