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| Topic: How NOT to avoid a ticket... | |
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 ...Normally people try to weasle their way out of getting a ticket after being pulled over.  Now, let's reverse that role, and say what's really on our minds, as if we are  ASKING FOR IT!!! What would you really feel like saying to the Po-Pos? If you wanted the ticket, what would you say to make sure you were going to get it?  If you havn't figured out WTF I mean, I'll break it down...What would you say to the cop that pulled you over to f@ck with his/her head???
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I can't drive 55
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Make a fake driving letter and hand it to them instead of your license.
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Keep in mind, I'm asking for something you'd say to get the ticket, not something you'd do.
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You were going just as fast as I was!
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hey ociffer i wondered if you were going to put that donut down and do your job!!
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Cop: "Have you been drinking Tonight?"
Me: "No Officer, I don't drink anymore, I havn't had a beer in a night-time." Cop: "Sir, please step out of the vehicle." |
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Cop: "Sir, I smell beer, have you been drinking Tonight."
Me: "No, as I was driving, I had just popped a top before you hit your lights. After I seen Red and Blue, I poured it out on the back seat." Cop: "Step out of the car sir." Me: "No Thanks!" |
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Take me drunk coficer I'm home
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"lemme guess...3 more tickets and your wife gets a brand new toaster?!?!"
"youre not gonna look in the trunk are you?" "i didnt know they made police uniforms that big" |
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I don't have a driver's license
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I don't have a driver's license ...or insurance...i dont even know who i stole this car from... |
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If my pimp wasn't gonna smack me around for being late finishing up my drug deal and turning tricks I wouldn't have had to borrow this car and speed to get back to my street corner on time
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I don't have a driver's license ...or insurance...i dont even know who i stole this car from... K9 unit? Oh you don't need those do you? Your nose is big enough. |
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Cop: "Sir, do you know the reason I pulled you over."
Me: "Sit up Honey." Cop: "Excuse me Sir??? Do you know why I pulled you over?" Me: "Why Officer?" ***zipppppppppp!*** Cop: "You were weaving all over the road Sir." Me: " Yeah, I was getting some really good road head!" Cop: "GET OUT!" |
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this actually happened. i was going into my apt. my roomie pulled up with the law right behind her. as the cop approached she opened the door & fell out...when he asked why she was driving she looked up & told him "cuz i'm too drunk to walk"
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Cop: "Do you realize how fast you were driving?"
Me: "  "...""..."9?" Cop: "No Sir, way faster than 9 miles per hour." Me: " "...""..."I can't help it, I'm on SPEED!" |
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this actually happened. i was going into my apt. my roomie pulled up with the law right behind her. as the cop approached she opened the door & fell out...when he asked why she was driving she looked up & told him "cuz i'm too drunk to walk"
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You are all too good, made me laugh, thanks
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what you mean I was speed your fat arse caught me
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