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Topic: Why guys won't date single moms????
izzie Joined Wed 02/21/07 Posts: 31834	Tue 09/30/08 09:43 AM
then you should have said so in the respectful way that Lex did.. rather than attacking those of us who chose to take responsibility for our actions. JMO I don't have kids. I made a deliberate and conscious decision, at age 21, that I would never be a parent. Everyone I have been involved with since that time is aware of this decision, and the vast majority of them have tried to get me to change my mind. That's one of the many reasons I am no longer with those people. But my reality is that I know what's best for me. My being a parent would not be a good thing for anyone involved, regardless of how many people commit themselves to my ultimate "domestication." It's not going to happen. This does not mean that I have anything at all against mothers, single or otherwise. Or fathers, either. I have friends who are parents. I like most of their kids. But it's not the lifestyle for me. Let's not make a bigger deal out of this than it really is. It's a choice, a preference, a decision. That's all. And I'm not one of those guys who says "I just don't want to have to take care of another man's kids." It isn't even that -- I don't want to take care of anybody's kids, not even my own, were there hypothetically any in existence. And that's why there aren't any. I just don't want that element in my life. And I know this position limits the number of people I could get involved with -- but the people on the other side of that boundary are people I would never be happy with, anyway. It has nothing to do with you, your effectiveness as a parent, your self-worth, your needs, your attitudes, your beliefs....it has to do with me knowing who I am and what works for me. And sometimes that doesn't always mesh well with other people's belief systems. And I'm OK with that. at the risk of bringing my bad vibes to your comment. i absolutely agree with what you said and live my life the exact same way.

Dredz_Hang_Low Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 796	Tue 09/30/08 09:44 AM
nad yet the woman raises the child (not in all cases but in alot) and the man walks away with his every other weekend visitation.... NICE. Do you have kids? The man only gets the weekend visitation if the mommy is nice and lets him or if he pays for the time through child support. i DROVE my kids 50 miles one direction every weekend to see their dad... he did NOT pay child support... has never paid... he would email me and tell me where and when to meet him.. of the 45 times i drove them in.. he saw them exactly 9!!!!! SxBoY.. i like you.. but you are starting to pizz even me off here! dont always blaim the mom.. my ex beat and raped me on a regular basis.. he cheated on me with 29 girls in the time of 6 years.. he brainwashed me to beleve that i could never find better... i finaly got the strength to leave after he held a gun to my head once... he broke in my house and raped me.. and a few weeks later after he found out that i was preg.. he came back and tried/threatened to cut the baby out of my stomach.. his gf at the time lied for him and so the cops did nothing.. and STILL i tried to let him see his kids.. i did NOTHING wrong.. stood up and take care of my kids... love every one of them.. they are MINE!!! but i have to put up with attitudes like you are presenting EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE!!! i am sincerely sorry about your troubles. thats truly f*cked. still if a guy doesn't want to be involved in your life because of the things that happened to you or the children you have that doesn't make him a bad guy.

Winx Joined Fri 08/31/07 Posts: 39051	Tue 09/30/08 09:44 AM
But I thought that the guys on this thread are the voice of the males of the species.. Not the ones that I know.

GeniuSxBoY Joined Sun 06/15/08 Posts: 8190	Tue 09/30/08 09:45 AM
i was saying that your self ritious attitude in this thread is the attitude i have to put up with.. It's less self righteous than it is pure logic. I am a computer science major. I think about all the bugs in the logic of the code and try to pinpoint them so you know where the program went wrong.

Lily0923 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 20429	Tue 09/30/08 09:45 AM
then you should have said so in the respectful way that Lex did.. rather than attacking those of us who chose to take responsibility for our actions. JMO Shhhhhh teaching pigs to sing darlin teaching pigs to sing...

Dredz_Hang_Low Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 796	Tue 09/30/08 09:45 AM Edited by Dredz_Hang_Low on Tue 09/30/08 09:46 AM
then you should have said so in the respectful way that Lex did.. rather than attacking those of us who chose to take responsibility for our actions. JMO actually i was pretty respectful. i was the one attacked.

Lily0923 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 20429	Tue 09/30/08 09:45 AM
i was saying that your self ritious attitude in this thread is the attitude i have to put up with.. It's less self righteous than it is pure logic. I am a computer science major. I think about all the bugs in the logic of the code and try to pinpoint them so you know where the program went wrong. THAT explains everything.

Amagurl Joined Tue 08/19/08 Posts: 752	Tue 09/30/08 09:46 AM
i was saying that your self ritious attitude in this thread is the attitude i have to put up with.. It's less self righteous than it is pure logic. I am a computer science major. I think about all the bugs in the logic of the code and try to pinpoint them so you know where the program went wrong. sometimes the bugs aren't the problem..it's the system that's not compatible..

DeniseC86 Joined Tue 09/23/08 Posts: 158	Tue 09/30/08 09:46 AM
wait i'm getting confused...are we talking about the single guys with no kids not dating moms, or are we talking about the single guys who leave their kids high and dry and won't date single moms?

izzie Joined Wed 02/21/07 Posts: 31834	Tue 09/30/08 09:46 AM
i was saying that your self ritious attitude in this thread is the attitude i have to put up with.. It's less self righteous than it is pure logic. I am a computer science major. I think about all the bugs in the logic of the code and try to pinpoint them so you know where the program went wrong. thats a sad sad existance... i prefer to find out the reasoning in people due to feelings.. and emotions... much more adventurious that way! lol

Winx Joined Fri 08/31/07 Posts: 39051	Tue 09/30/08 09:47 AM Edited by Winx on Tue 09/30/08 09:54 AM
Oops.

izzie Joined Wed 02/21/07 Posts: 31834	Tue 09/30/08 09:47 AM
reread your posts.. you were not respectful.. you were only corrected when you spoke unkindly. then you should have said so in the respectful way that Lex did.. rather than attacking those of us who chose to take responsibility for our actions. JMO actually i was pretty respectful. i was the one attacked.

Amagurl Joined Tue 08/19/08 Posts: 752	Tue 09/30/08 09:48 AM
wait i'm getting confused...are we talking about the single guys with no kids not dating moms, or are we talking about the single guys who leave their kids high and dry and won't date single moms? that's why I normally just smile and nod

Winx Joined Fri 08/31/07 Posts: 39051	Tue 09/30/08 09:48 AM
i was saying that your self ritious attitude in this thread is the attitude i have to put up with.. It's less self righteous than it is pure logic. I am a computer science major. I think about all the bugs in the logic of the code and try to pinpoint them so you know where the program went wrong. THAT explains everything. Yes, it does.

Dredz_Hang_Low Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 796	Tue 09/30/08 09:48 AM
wait i'm getting confused...are we talking about the single guys with no kids not dating moms, or are we talking about the single guys who leave their kids high and dry and won't date single moms? big difference there isnt it? some guys are assholes others just dont want to become assholes

izzie Joined Wed 02/21/07 Posts: 31834	Tue 09/30/08 09:48 AM
then you should have said so in the respectful way that Lex did.. rather than attacking those of us who chose to take responsibility for our actions. JMO Shhhhhh teaching pigs to sing darlin teaching pigs to sing... i have faith!!! everything with a voice box can sing!!! alvin and the chipmonks!!! lol

DeniseC86 Joined Tue 09/23/08 Posts: 158	Tue 09/30/08 09:49 AM
i was saying that your self ritious attitude in this thread is the attitude i have to put up with.. It's less self righteous than it is pure logic. I am a computer science major. I think about all the bugs in the logic of the code and try to pinpoint them so you know where the program went wrong. OK I'm studying Web Design and the my whole area is logic honey...there is no logic and 90% of the things you said on here. Then again I can't expect you to have both logic of computers and logic of the real world. That's way too much to ask right? LOL (completely kidding) You seem to get off on pissing people off...I'm noticing a trend throughout this discussion

izzie Joined Wed 02/21/07 Posts: 31834	Tue 09/30/08 09:50 AM
wait i'm getting confused...are we talking about the single guys with no kids not dating moms, or are we talking about the single guys who leave their kids high and dry and won't date single moms? big difference there isnt it? some guys are assholes others just dont want to become assholes hahahahahaha.... can i give my opinion of which you are??? no?? ok.. back to my corner!! sorry lily! ill be quite!

Dredz_Hang_Low Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 796	Tue 09/30/08 09:50 AM
nad yet the woman raises the child (not in all cases but in alot) and the man walks away with his every other weekend visitation.... NICE. Do you have kids? The man only gets the weekend visitation if the mommy is nice and lets him or if he pays for the time through child support. i DROVE my kids 50 miles one direction every weekend to see their dad... he did NOT pay child support... has never paid... he would email me and tell me where and when to meet him.. of the 45 times i drove them in.. he saw them exactly 9!!!!! SxBoY.. i like you.. but you are starting to pizz even me off here! dont always blaim the mom.. my ex beat and raped me on a regular basis.. he cheated on me with 29 girls in the time of 6 years.. he brainwashed me to beleve that i could never find better... i finaly got the strength to leave after he held a gun to my head once... he broke in my house and raped me.. and a few weeks later after he found out that i was preg.. he came back and tried/threatened to cut the baby out of my stomach.. his gf at the time lied for him and so the cops did nothing.. and STILL i tried to let him see his kids.. i did NOTHING wrong.. stood up and take care of my kids... love every one of them.. they are MINE!!! but i have to put up with attitudes like you are presenting EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE!!! i am sincerely sorry about your troubles. thats truly f*cked. still if a guy doesn't want to be involved in your life because of the things that happened to you or the children you have that doesn't make him a bad guy. Yes, it does. He's being a terrible father. End of story. huh??

LexFonteyne Joined Thu 12/07/06 Posts: 32131	Tue 09/30/08 09:51 AM
at the risk of bringing my bad vibes to your comment. i absolutely agree with what you said and live my life the exact same way. I'm really not worried about bad vibes. Almost everyone here has been quite tolerant and accepting of my beliefs, even when they disagree. I find it really just boils down to how you get things across. Some of the people I love the most on this site are single/divorced mothers. And they put up with me, just the way I am. And I'm grateful for that -- it shows people can have a difference of opinion without it becoming personal.