Some guys are affraid of children, to often the children end up being used as a source of vengence when a relationship sours. I love children and would never let it be a factor unless it somehow caused problems wiht the childrens wel-being. I have had women not want to date me because of my children, their loss!

OK, here's how it works for me -- When I was younger, I dated several older, divorced women who had kids. What I discovered was that they were really not interested in a relationship, per se; they were simply looking for someone to come in and "play Daddy."

I'm no good at "playing Daddy" -- as a psychologist explained to me during a conversation on parenting, "If you ain't seen it, you don't know how to do it." I grew up basically raising myself -- there were few rules, no discipline to speak of, and I really have no frame of reference for what "parenting" even means. I like to tell people that everything I learned about being a father comes from Sheriff Taylor on "The Andy Griffith Show." Which is OK if I'm ever called upon to be a father in North Carolina on a 1960s sitcom.

The upshot of the whole thing is that I eventually realized I need to look at this as "preventative medicine" -- nothing good could possibly come from my being involved with anyone who has kids. It's the same reason I have never smoked a cigarette in my life -- I've seen the downside, first-hand (lots of family members dying of lung cancer), and it just makes sense to me to avoid that whole problem before it can even start.

There's more, but I think this is probably a fairly sufficient way to explain my own personal rule about not dating anyone who has kids....

I don't get it can't you find a guy with kids.It seems like that would work

I myself have no problem with women that have children. But realize that single fathers have the same issue. I don't know how many women left as soon as they found out that I have a son full time. But the majority that I have found give the excuse that it is because since I have my son that I can't give them enough attention. Selfish? Yes, but at least I know that they are not the right one.

Don't assume that a man your age isn't up for it. I mean it's not specifically what I'm looking for, but I can easily see how, if I really fall for someone, that raising a child with them would be a very positive thing.

Yeah, that's what I said, should be some 21 year old single dads near where she lives.

Some guys just can't handle responsibility. -shrugs-

And some prefer not to, that goes for both men and women.

I have the opposite problem. Many men my age and older already have kids. Some don't want to date someone who doesn't already have kids.

I think I shouldn't bitter and desperate when I posted this and I really appreciate all the responses. But I'm not looking for a relationship anyway because I can't devote my time to one. Mostly I was referring to a "first encounter" when the previous events would take place. Oh well...maybe I should walk around with a sign that says "SINGLE MOTHER, STAY FAR FAR AWAY!" LOL Kidding of course

The last thing I want is someone to play daddy. Nothing worse then a man trying to come in and pick up where he's not needed. LOL

"Why guys won't date single moms????"




In my perspective, other people's kids are annoying because they yell, scream, fuss, whine and you must change them, change plans for them, find babysitters for them, cater to them, spend money on them...and if it's not your baby, it's not even worth it. Women have a different perspective because they get that free check in the mail so their kid is actually their job. Men don't get that luxury

I have issues dating men with children and I have a child. Most parents are not as strict as I am and they allow their children to run the show. There is a no whinning rule in my house, you whine you go upstairs where I can't hear you do it. There are toys all over my house all day long, but at bed time they are put away. I will not tell you to do something repeatedly. I will not allow the child to tell me how things are going to be.

In return I have a child who excells in school, excells in ballet, and is so well behaved I can take her anywhere and she enjoys privledges that most children her age don't enjoy.

I find that most parents don't hold these same values. I cannot date a man who allows his children to run all over them.

I prefer to date men who don't have children, but I wouldn't write one off because they do, but his parenting skills definatly are taken into consideration when it is possibly a serious relationship.

To address Lex's comment about playing Daddy, I have seen that many many times also. My daughter is lucky enough to have a great dad who loves her and raises her the same way I do. Obviously if I were in a serious relationship with someone they would be an intricate part of her life, but my daughter has a daddy and doesn't need another one. My rule to this is .... You must love my child like she is your own, but know that she absolutely IS NOT.

Wow.. I guess those single moms won't be looking to date you.

I'll date you and your mom...........

That's a joke right?

I have a kid of my own so if she puts up with mine, i'll put up with hers.


hehe

you think its hard with one kid.... i have 4.. the oldest is 7...

but i found an amazing guy who loves me, adores my children, and they adore him as well...

there is hope, best of luck.. and happy thoughts to all the single parents!

HEY!!!
i dont get a free check!!
and i have 4 kids... that i raise alone... no free check...

where do i sign up for this free check that you speak of??

The local magistrate's office, silly