nice guy and scumbag has nothing to do with this topic. and a man or woman shouldn't feel bad for hesitating. Now the scumbags/users( mainly guys) hesitate because they are only after sex and they fear that it will be harder to put in work without some sort of commitment.
some people ( men and women) fear interaction between them and the kids and don't want to interact with them) now someone like me, i hesitate because I know how i can be, i want to spend time with her and feel like im high on the priority scale. but a decent/ good parent put their kids first. so I hesitate BUT a good woman is a good woman. quality is hard to find these days so....

Why? Well maybe it depends on the age. You say you are 21 so that is pretty close to my age. I am not totally sure I want kids of my own. I definitely don't want to deal with any at this point in my life. I just got out of school and I feel life is just starting and I want to get out and do all the things I never had a chance to.

At this point in my life I wouldn't consider dating someone with kids. I want to freedom to do things on a whim. You can't do that with kids. Maybe later in life, but not now.

I may not be able to be spur of the moment but I have plenty of fun and freedom. Mostly because of the great support system known as grandma! but i don't take advantage

this is funny to me because my ex only dates girls with kids but doesnt see his own

My current boyfriend freaked when he found out I had kids (I have 5... imagine dealing with THAT and men! ), but three days later he contacted me and said he liked me too much and "maybe it's time to grow up".

...it does happen. Hang in there.

i dont mind being with someone that has a kid im with someone that has a kid and i love her and him i look at him as my own so if a guy dont want u just cuz u have a kid move on u dont need them if they cant take u and ur kid then they are no one

I don't have a problem dating ladies with children. Of course at this point in life its more the norm. Kids can be fun too.

i dont mind being with someone that has a kid im with someone that has a kid and i love her and him i look at him as my own so if a guy dont want u just cuz u have a kid move on u dont need them if they cant take u and ur kid then they are no one

I am a kid. I refuse to grow up. But toys R us has gotten to be expensive for us big kids these days. Dem hawlees cost ching dontcha know. Pretty pretty, shiney shiney.

But you never see a motorcycle parked outside a psychiatrists office.

I don't have kids. Don't want any.

I agree with WINX - jerks. People have kids. It's no big deal. But men who make negative assumptions about you are probably not intelligent enough to make you happy anyway.

Personally I dont care whether or not the men I meet have kids. Kids can be pretty awesome anyway. But it's the adult relationships that we're all here for. Are you getting this response from dads too?
Sweetestgirl11

Yeah I dated many women with children. Didn't enjoy it a bit. Ground rules put in effect. Do this. Don't do that. My kids get to walk on you. Sorry- ultimatums in a relationship don't work. Yeah and I just loved being in the middle of the ex boyfreinds/ ex husbands/ father of childs domestic bullsh!t that never ends. Always over causing trouble. And this defensiveness over having kids? I'm not a self affirmation counselor. Why should I be made to feel guilty over the choices someone else made in their life? That's not right. I did not have the child. Why should I be made to feel guilty about it. These threads blow my mind. The questions answer themselves. The rest is just fodder for the masses. Just a rambling opinion. Never mind me.

The answer to the question is not that hard. Its because everybody is different and unique. And dating someone with children does not fit their life style. Maybe its their job, their home, their schedule, their past experiences, their dedications, or responsibilities. And because of that everyone goes into combat mommy mode against them and auto defense mode to protect the choices they have made in their life. It just makes no sense. Let's just pick on people who wear red socks tomorrow. But we can't pick on the people who wore blue socks because they may be offended because of the choices they made even if they ask for it because they are wearing a yellow T shirt that says "Please pick on me!" you are just not allowed to do it.

I wish I had said that. Knowing me, I probably will...

Been there, done that, no thanks. Doesn't work for me. For those who can cope with it, I wish you the best of luck. But please don't try to make me feel bad for knowing what works and what doesn't work for me. Guilt is not on THAT menu.

i have three kids- they do not live with me anymore, however i understand why some people do not date people with children--

I still have 2 teen-aged daughters living with their Mom. They spend a fair amount of time with me too. I kinda go on the idea that women in my age range are going to have kids. Some are Grandmothers, thats a little .....???
But my G'parents were gone by the time I was born. I still think of G'parents as 'older', at least older than me.

I'm divorced with 2 sons (18 & 20). I would never date anyone who had small kids.

Well I do have 2 kids that are grown now. And I can very well understand why some do not want to date others with kids. I mean at my age I have raised my family and now have my freedom. I would date someone that has kids myself. It seems many men have waited till they were older before having a family now. But many that do not have kids do not want to raise someone elses kids. Their own is different but they don't want to be the middle pawn and always wrong were the kids are concerned.

All I can say is make that one of the first things that one discusses with another you may date. If they don't want kids around that is their choice. And no one should be made to feel as if their choices are wrong. That is what works for them therefore not the right one to be with if you have kids.

We all know what we want why should we change those goals unless we want to!!

now would this be different if the question was "why dont girls date guys with kids"
i know alot of single dads who are raising their kids without the mom and they have just as hard of a time finding a girl to accept them and their kids